


Guidance Needed

by Akira_of_the_Twilight



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels & Guides, Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Dub-Con Bond, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feral Behavior, Flawed characters, Good Intentions, Good Intentions Bad Results, Guide Bucky Barnes, Guide Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MCU with Sentinels & Guides, Mad Scientists, Overwhelmed Senses, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Sentinel Senses, Sentinel Tony Stark, Sentinel/Guide Bonding, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Soul Bond, Suicide Attempt, Unrealistic Multiple Personalities Disorder, mentions of human experimentation, poor communication, references to comics, self destructive behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-27 09:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 115,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5042209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_of_the_Twilight/pseuds/Akira_of_the_Twilight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sentinel could spend most of their early years without a guide. By their mid-thirties if a sentinel had yet to form a bond with a guide their senses would start to lose focus and precision until they became overwhelmed and went insane. </p><p>Tony was in his forties and the bond he had was a thin string that could be snapped with just one word, and it was the only reason why Tony wasn’t locked up in an asylum for sentinels.</p><p>Even with his bond though, Tony was deteriorating, unable to control his senses and becoming overprotective of his teammates. </p><p>If he didn't increase the strength of his current bond or find a new guide who he could bond better with then he would be locked up for life. </p><p>Too bad Starks have a history of having trouble bonding, and Tony's already tried every technique to strengthen his bond with his guide. </p><p>Oh, and let's not forget his guide was none other than Mr. Perfect himself: Steve Rogers.</p><p>So really? Tony was screwed unless those bonding techniques started working, because who the hell else could bond with him and do it better than Mr. Perfect?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【已授权】Guidance Needed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13390983) by [Akira_of_the_Twilight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akira_of_the_Twilight/pseuds/Akira_of_the_Twilight), [mini6376437](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mini6376437/pseuds/mini6376437)



“Iron Man, where are you?” Steve’s voice barked over the comms.

Tony clenched his teeth against the sharp, piercing ring that accompanied Steve’s voice.

“FRIDAY, block out the white noise,” Tony instructed as he typed madly away at the HYDRA computer. HYDRA’s mad scientists were good, but they needed to up their game if they thought Tony couldn’t hack their systems before they wiped their databanks clean.

“The filters are already at maximum, boss.”

Tony cursed. Another thing to upgrade and/or repair. Well, it wasn’t like he needed sleep. Coffee would keep him going.

“Iron Man,” Steve came over the comms again. The panicked and surprised cries of HYDRA agents joined his voice. Bones cracked from blows delivered by Steve’s shield and Thor’s hammer, or so it sounded like based on the reverberations of the impacts. The blows were accompanied by the static of Black Widow’s Spider Bites and the _twang_ of Clint’s bow.

“Iron Man, focus. Falcon needs air support.”

Tony shook his head and blinked. He stared at the glowing computer screen. His hands hovered over the keyboard.

The smell of bleach and several other cleaning products seeped in through his air ventilation systems, and he gagged. “FRIDAY, a little more air filtration too. Sorry, Cap, but I’m a little busy poking around in HYDRA’s toy box right now. Get Pointbreak to help.”

“Iron Man, this is a command.” The shield reverberated against something composed of concrete.

Tony cringed.

“Sorry, can’t hear you over that static. I think we’re breaking up. FRIDAY.”

The team’s comms were cut off.

“I’m sorry to report, boss, but it appears the air filtration system is also at max.”

Tony scrunched his face. God, the smell of the place was getting worse. Did someone throw out a hamburger two weeks ago and leave it lying around? Ew, and was that—no, Tony did not even want to mentally identify what _that_ smell was, otherwise he’d have think about why it was in the room. The images that would produce would be scarring for life.

“Mr. Stark, I believe it would be wise for you to extract the data now. I am detecting approaching hostiles.”

“Right…” Tony closed his eyes and tried to focus his senses on his guide.

His guide was several floors down in the building, but even through the cement and clutter, Tony could detect his guide within a two-mile radius.

Steve’s heart beat furiously. It was like a jackhammer and Tony gritted his teeth against it. He switched to focusing on Steve’s ragged breathing. It was harsh and put Tony on edge, but it cut out the sounds of whirling mechanics and the distant noise of battle.

Tony typed as fast as his fingers allowed.

The HYDRA agents were too close. Their footsteps echoed on the hard floor. Their puffs of breath were like the howling wind of a storm to Tony’s ears.

 _Focus on Steve_ , Tony told himself as he cracked HYDRA’s security. “FRIDAY, upload the data now.”

“Yes, boss.”

The door flung open.

Tony whirled and shot a repulsor blast at the first agent to rush in. It had the intentional effect of taking out any agents directly behind the first one as well.

There were still agents standing though.

One whirled around the corner of the door, rifle aimed at Tony.

Light from the computer monitor danced off the metal of the rifle, sparkling, shimmering, sucking Tony in. The constant movement of the light’s reflection was hypnotizing, and—

Something a lot stronger than a rifle slammed Tony square in the chest. The blast knocked him back into the computer and across the floor.

“That’s going to hurt in the morning.” Tony sat up and shot at where he’d seen the agents last.

He got hit by another shock wave and sent skidding across the room again.

FRIDAY flashed the emergency sign in his face and blared the alarm.

Tony hissed at the sharp screech. He had not designed the emergency alert system to sound like banshee getting shredded by a woodchipper, yet that’s exactly how it sounded.

Tony curled up in a ball and covered his head.

All that existed was the siren wail and the raging red of the emergency system.

His ears were bleeding. His head was going to explode.

He’d give anything to make it stop. Anything. God where was Pepper? No, Steve. Tony was such a royal fuck up that not even perfect Pepper could handle him; he needed someone stronger—a super human, a super guide. He needed Steve fuckin’ Rogers and the asshole was nowhere near to help him.

Tony whimpered.

The red light disappeared and air hissed in Tony’s ear as the emergency latch on his helmet was removed.

White, blinding light poured into Tony’s eyes. He swiftly covered his face.

Metal against metal.

The crackle of lightning.

It was barraging him all at once.

Cold, cold, cold. His armor was too cold. The metal threatened to cut into him. He had to get out, he had to—

A body curled over Tony’s head, acting as a protective barrier between him and the world.

A chest decked out in leather and protective armor slowly rose and fell in deep, controlled breaths. The heartbeat was strong and steady. It’s rhythm was familiar, but not enough so that it brought a name to mind. Gunpowder, metal, oil, sweat, and a rich earthy musk brought images of a young man with dark hair, a metal arm, and a sharp, sarcastic tongue that could rival Tony’s when the young man was in one of his more talkative moods.

“That’s good. Focus on me, Stark.”

The light that felt like it had been burning out Tony’s retinas seconds ago lessened. The sounds of battle died down to a manageable background noise. The smells… the smells weren’t getting better.

His stomach roiled. He covered his nose.

Bucky cursed. Bucky pushed himself down lower so his chest was just centimeter’s from Tony’s face.

Bucky’s scent flooded Tony’s nostrils, but the other odors still seeped in through Tony’s mouth and coiled around his throat.

A gag wracked Tony.

Bucky sighed and finally dropped down next to Tony. “Worst place to do this,” he grumbled as he threaded his fingers through Tony’s hair and yanked the genius toward his neck.

Bliss. Pure and utter bliss. The heavenly and soothing combination of metal, oil, and something else—something so powerful yet calming that Tony would compare it to an ocean, yet it was far more closer to the fresh fragrance of the woods after a rainy day—chased away the wretched odors and brought peace. Tony melted against Bucky and nosed the soldier’s neck.

Every muscle in Bucky’s body tensed, but he didn’t push Tony away.

After a minute of just nuzzling Bucky, Tony felt his head become more clear.

He pulled away and blinked to adjust his vision to the room.

A bunch of HYDRA agents lay dead or unconscious on the floor. “Did I do that?”

Bucky snorted. He pushed Tony away, but minded his strength so he didn’t send Tony rolling. “The first half, yeah, but the rest was all me. You were experiencing sensory overload when I arrived—just in time to save your butt too. Also, Steve says he is on his way, but that he is going to kick your ass for insubordination and for going out on the field when experiencing symptoms of overload.”

Tony snorted and stood up, ginning like a loon as he put his helmet back on. He left the faceplate up. “If I didn’t fight every time I was feeling a little overwhelmed, I’d never set foot on the field.” He let his faceplate drop and flew out the room to join the rest of the team fighting off the last of the HYDRA agents.

* * *

Tony didn’t like Steve’s chest. It looked like it would be the prefect combination of softness and firmness, but really, it sucked.

Tony pouted and burrowed closer to Steve. Artificial springtime fresh soap blended in with Steve’s “non-scented” laundry detergent fragrance and hid the faint but natural sweet smell that belonged to Steve.

 _Wrong_ , Tony’s hindbrain told him, but it didn’t fully rebel like it had in the past when Pepper had tried to sooth him and his senses.

Tony’s heart ached at the thought of his former guide and former girlfriend.

She had been perfect—the perfect balance of controlling yet nurturing and supportive. Honestly, Pepper was the only reason why Tony had survived the aftereffects of what had happened in Afghanistan—she was the reason why Tony hadn’t gone insane. Yet even with all of her care and strength, Tony found it harder and harder to focus his senses as the years went by, and soon he had to admit that he needed a different guide.

It had nothing to do with the break up that had occurred a month prior to his revelation.

“I can still feel your thoughts ricocheting in your head like a Gatling gun.” Steve sighed and massaged Tony’s scalp.

Steve Rogers: a born guide. Righteous and always ready to fight for what he believed in. He was heralded as the perfect guide. Not only did he have the perfect personality to be a guide, but with the super soldier serum, he had all the advantages of a sentinel without any of the drawbacks. He was a perfect, well-balanced individual, who didn’t need to be confined to a guide-sentinel partnership.

Yet he had still partnered with Tony. Tony Stark who was known not just for his playboy ways and his ego-centric personality, but for being unmanageable for any guide.

Imagine how the media would react if it ever found out that the Steve Rogers had been partnered with Tony Stark.

Tony wouldn’t be surprised if people started petitioning for their separation.

Tony’s chest tightened.

Okay, maybe Steve wasn’t his first choice in guide, but Steve…Steve…

Tony screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath as a car alarm shrieked outside.

Steve covered Tony ears and rested his forehead on Tony’s. “Focus on me.”

Tony nodded.

Steve was the only guide who had been able to form any type of bond with Tony. The bond was weak and almost non-existent compared to the bonds that normally occurred between sentinel and guide, but it was precious, and Tony clung to it desperately.

He knew Steve did not share the same feelings toward the bond. Helping Tony was a duty, one that no one else could do.

 _Thunk. Thunk. Thunk_.

“Damn it!” Tony yanked his head away from Steve’s chest and jumped off the couch. “FRIDAY, tell Clint if he doesn’t stop throwing that ball at the wall, I will seal off every single vent in this tower and throw away all of the pizza in the fridge.”

“I will inform him.”

Strong fingers dug into Tony’s shoulder and tugged him back onto the couch and into Steve’s lap. “Come on, Tony, we need to get your focus back. We don’t need a repeat of what happened earlier. We’re just lucky you responded to Bucky when he arrived.”

Tony frowned, remembering the way Bucky had shielded him and brought him back from his sensory overload. “I would have been fine.”

Tony picked at a piece of lint at on his shirt. “Besides, according to your SHIELD pals, it couldn’t have been that bad if Bucky was able to bring me out of it.”

Steve tensed and his heartbeat sped up. “Don’t say that. Bucky was one of the best guides. He taught me everything I know.”

Tony scoffed. “It doesn’t help though, if he’s got the emotional capacity of an irritated cat.”

Steve shoved Tony off him.

Tony hit the other side of the couch with an: “oomph.”

Hurt pierced Tony at Steve’s rejection, but in the corner of his brain a spark of sadistic delight blossomed at Steve’s anger. Tony tried to push the ugly emotion down, but it swam beneath the surface like a shark lying in wait. It was a part of himself that he hated, and a part he didn’t really like to analyze. He vaguely knew the sadistic feelings stemmed from a place that had to do with Howard.

Steve pushed off the couch and paced. He pinched the bridge of his nose and released a strained breath.

“Listen,” Tony tried to placate Steve, “I’m not the one saying your friend is inept. That’s SHIELD. I’m just saying if we trust Fury and his little band of merry men, then obviously what happened today was a minor thing. Plus, it’s not as if it is impossible for a guide to calm a sentinel they are not bound to.” It was just far more challenging since the sentinel would be more likely to strike out against them.

“You could have been killed.” Steve whirled on Tony. “If Bucky hadn’t arrived when he did—”

“I wasn’t though.”

“Just like how Sam wasn’t,” Steve spat. “He just got a few bruised ribs because someone wasn’t there to back him up when he needed help.”

Steve’s words were a sucker punch to the gut. “I was gathering information. If hadn’t done that then we wouldn’t know about the weapons HYDRA was creating and the human experiments being performed.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to—“

“Mr. Rogers. Nick Fury demands to speak with you privately. He says it is of the upmost urgency,” FRIDAY cut in.

Steve’s fist and jaw clenched. Every muscle in his body was wound tight as he calculated in the situation in his head.

It was fascinating, really. Tony had always admired the way Steve’s body turned into a statue as he strategized, his body waiting to spring into action once h made his decision, while all of the life in Steve sparkled in those determined and pondering blue eyes.

It was subtle, but Steve’s shoulders dropped just enough that Tony knew Steve had made a decision before he spoke. “All right, give me a moment to find someplace private.” Steve moved to leave, but Tony held up his hand to stop Steve.

“I got some things I need to get done. Just have FRIDAY lock the doors behind me and you can have the room to yourself.”

Steve nodded. “Don’t start anything you can't stop in the middle of. Once I’m done talking to Fury, we’re going to continue where we left off.”

“Sure thing, Cap.” Tony mock saluted as he strolled backwards out of the room, a devil may care grin on his face.

The door slid shut as he exited the room. The lock bolted into place, the sound as piercing as a gunshot to Tony’s ears.

Tony winced and rubbed his ear as he wandered down the hall.

Pepper had sent him a few R&D projects to work on, he could at least get one or two started. Although, there was still the problem with the noise and air filtration systems in his suit to consider. That was a bigger project though, and even if he could theoretically stop in the middle of it, Steve would probably still end up wrestling him out of the workshop.

“…based on the reports you and Barnes submitted, it sounds like things with Stark are only getting worse,” Fury’s voice reached Tony’s ears, the sound muffled with crackling noise like radio static.

Tony stopped and shook his head, trying to clear out the voice of the super spy in his head.

Steve sighed. “I am aware of how it sounds, but I am working on it with him.”

“I know you are working on it, but Rogers these reports indicate a bigger problem. What we had hoped would be a permanent solution to Stark’s deterioration is not the case, unless you’re going to tell me that you and Stark have not been going through guide and sentinel exercises regularly.”

Tony bit down on his bottom lip to keep from making a sound. They had been doing the exercises routinely. They’d even upped the number of times they meditated together and practiced hearing the other’s heartbeat (Tony) and reading the other’s emotion and thoughts (Steve). It just wasn’t working.

Steve said as much to Fury. “We can increase the number of exercises. Perhaps Tony is the type of sentinel that needs to mediate every morning and night.”

“We can try, Rogers,” a note of regret—ever so faint—entered Fury’s voice. “However, this is not the first time Tony has shown signs of becoming permanently overwhelmed. Before he bonded with you, he was showing the same symptoms.”

“I am aware.”

“Then I am sure you are also aware that your bond decreased those symptoms, which are now back to where they were when you two started your partnership. Even with your bond, Stark is deteriorating at a rapid rate.”

“What exactly are you trying to say, Fury?” Steve spoke through gritted teeth.

“I’m saying, Rogers, that I have scientists working around the clock to see if there is anything we can do to stop this progression, but I’m going to need you and Stark to do whatever you can too. And if a solution can’t be found—“

“We’ll find one,” Steve said with steely determination.

“A nice sentiment, but that’s all it is, which is why—”

A jackhammer pummeled the sidewalk outside and ripped through Tony’s skull like a buzz saw.

Tony dropped to his knees and clutched his head.

He cursed and scrambled to his feet even as shrieking sound mercilessly pounded into his eardrum. He raced to the elevator, hoping he hadn’t alerted Steve to his eavesdropping when he’d fallen.

Steve’s footsteps echoed on the floor at his approach.

Tony threw himself into the elevator and sighed in relief when not only did the doors slid shut before Steve could see him, but the jackhammer’s crushing noise was cut off.

* * *

Blue holographic monitors hovered around Tony, displaying information ranging from the R&D files Pepper had sent him to the files he’d stolen from the HYDRA base the Avenger’s had taken down. None of the screens could hold his attention though; all he could think about was what he’d overheard.

He knew he had been getting worse, that he was losing control of his senses more and more each day, but he hadn’t really stopped to consider just how bad it had gotten, there had always been something else more important, and in all honesty, there wasn’t much Tony could do.

Sentinel and guide studies were still a fuzzy science that was layered in mysteries. It was only in the last century that people realized sentinel and guide bonds did not indicate whether two people were soul mates or not. Heaven forbid eighty years ago if you didn’t marry your partner, or even worse: divorced them.

No the metaphysical bond between guide and sentinel came down to compatibility.

And unfortunately, Stark men were horribly incompatible with everyone. It wasn’t so much a problem for the guides in the family; guides could live their lives without a sentinel, but there was always this sense of longing—like something was missing in their lives, like there was purpose that needed fulfilling but no matter what they did they could not fulfill it. It often led to depression in a lot of guides, but it was manageable.

Sentinels just got screwed over completely.

A sentinel could spend most of their early years without a guide; although having one around for puberty certainly made it easier when it came to adapting to the new senses. In their twenties, Sentinels started needing to have a guide around them. They didn’t have to possess a bond with the guide, but if they didn’t have one present that’s when the sentinel’s senses would start to lose focus and precision until they became overwhelmed and went insane. Around mid-thirties if a sentinel was not bonded the same thing happened to them.

Tony was in his forties and the bond he had was a thin string that could be snapped with just one word, and it was the only reason why Tony wasn’t locked up in an asylum for sentinels.

A sledgehammer like sound broke Tony from his thoughts.

He spun in his chair and squinted as the blue holographic images stung his eyes.

“Hey, you doing okay down here?” Steve asked.

Tony could just make out Steve’s blurry figure near the door through all of the lights. “FRIDAY close the screens.”

The blue lights vanished.

Tony sighed at the clear vision of his worktables, stools, and equipment.

A frown on Steve’s face caused wrinkles to form around his mouth and his brow to furrow. He cupped Tony’s face in his hands and tilted the genius’ head back to examine him. He grimaced. “Monitors were bothering you?”

“That obvious?”

“Your pupils are tiny, too much light coming in.”

Tony closed his eyes and let out a heavy breath. He slumped against Steve, his ear landing right over Steve’s heart. The steady beat eased some of Tony’s tension. “So what’s the plan?”

“You heard, didn’t you?”

Tony shrugged. “Not surprising news, really. More surprising that I’ve survived this long.”

“The future has dating websites,” Steve stated. “Are there websites for sentinel and guides?”

“Trying to set me up, Steve?”

Tony heard the blood rush to Steve’s face and smiled.

“No. What I’m trying to say is: you can’t be the only sentinel that’s had this problem, so there should be websites, or people who match up sentinels and guides, right?”

Tony sighed. “You don’t think I’ve tried that in the past? You’re the only one, Steve, who has even gotten any sort of bond out of me.”

“You shouldn’t give up though.”

Steve’s pep talk grated on Tony. He pushed himself away from Steve and stood up. “I’ve been trying my whole life, Steve, and trust me, I’m trying, but it’s not as easy as those old movies like to make you think. Sadly, most of us don’t instantly bond upon first sight with compatible guides and sentinels.”

“Then we have to strengthen our bond, Tony, or else…” Steve clenched his fist. He pierced Tony with a demanding stare, like he could somehow will Tony to form a deeper bond with him through looks alone.

“I go crazy? My senses overwhelm me, or my instincts to protect become so strong all I focus on is trying to save the world and end up building a murder bot instead?” Tony put on his best shark-like smile.

A lesser man would have flinched at the reference to Ultron, but Steve had been putting up with Tony’s sharp as knives tongue for years. “Yes, Tony. You go crazy and then we have to stop you, whether it be from harming yourself or the world.”

Sorrow softened Steve’s expression. “I don’t want to fight you, and I don’t want to see you locked away.”

Tony scoffed and marched for the exit; he was done with this conversation. “I’d like to see anyone try; I have a reputation for being an escape artist for a reason.”

* * *

Tony wanted to blame his lack of appetite on Natasha and Clint.

The two moved around the kitchen in such perfect harmony—passing bowls, utensils, and ingredients to each other without ever looking up for the other. They were the epitome of a perfect guide and sentinel partnership.

They even had the sickeningly sweet partners-at-first-sight relationship that Tony had mocked just the other day in front of Steve. Granted, Clint was the one who described it that way, whereas Natasha just rolled her eyes at Clint.

She never did deny it though. The closest Natasha ever came was one time when Tony prodded her for more information. She had answered him in a bored tone with: “Guides are more intuitive, and it is not uncommon for them to detect the potential for a bond before their partner. However, there are reported instances of sentinels recognizing a potential partner before the guide. There is no exact formula for how and when a bond may be forged.”

In other words: “Shut up, Tony, before I deck you.”

“C’mon, Stark, you finally came to breakfast on time like an adult, don’t mess up now by staring at your food,” Clint teased.

Tony stirred his oatmeal. His stomach roiled at the sight; he’d always felt oatmeal was one food dye away from looking like vomit.

He picked up his spoon and nibbled on the tip so that only four or five oats entered his mouth.

He shuddered as hints of the plastic bag the oats had been in and specks of dust touched his taste buds. His eyes watered at the foul taste and he put his spoon down.

Clint stopped in the middle of making eggs and turned to look at Tony. He frowned, and gestured for Natasha to take over the stove.

In seamless movement, Natasha replaced Clint, and Clint headed over to Tony.

Tony fought his scowl. Damn, perceptive Clint. Also, damn guide instincts! Clint must have been picking up something, because it wasn’t the first time since Clint had moved into the tower that Tony had recoiled from a meal, and Clint hadn’t said or done anything about it before.

“Something wrong with your oatmeal?” Clint asked.

Tony pushed the oatmeal away and stood up. “Not hungry.”

“Yeah, right. When’s the last time you ate?” Clint held up a hand to stop Tony from answering. “You know what? Never mind. FRIDAY, when is the last time Tony ate anything, excluding what he had just now.”

“It has been twenty hours and fourteen minutes since Mr. Stark has consumed solid food. He has however, had five cups of coffee within that amount of time.”

Clint raised a taunting eyebrow.

Tony scowled. “You’re not my mom.”

“Thank god, I’m not.” Clint made a show of wiping his brow like he was relieved. “With these hips?” Clint slapped his hips. “You’d rip me apart coming out of my birth canal.”

“C-section,” Natasha grunted.

“Oh, right.” Clint scratched his chin in thought.

Tony decided to use the momentary distraction to escape the room.

“We’ll be letting Steve know that you skipped breakfast,” Natasha intoned.

“Snitch. Also, Steve’s not my mom either.” Tony stuck out his tongue as he dashed out of the room.

He heard Clint snapped his fingers. “Now there’s someone with the right birthing hips, don’t you think, Nat? Steve could totally give birth to Stark.”

A spatula slapped skin. “Hush, you.”

* * *

The rhythmic blows of Bucky’s punches lulled Tony into a peaceful state.

Normally when Tony was feeling overwhelmed and in need of focus he went to his lab or workshop to work on projects, but his mind was too scattered to focus and the brilliant lights from the screens stung like he’d been locked in a dark closet for days. The dim lighting of the gym in the early morning was much easier on Tony’s eyes, not that he was using them.

Tony had shut his eyes long ago just to listen to Bucky beating the crap out of one of the punching bags.

It was almost like listening to an album as Bucky went through his punching sets. For five minutes it would be: punch, punch, punch, breath. Punch, punch, punch, breath. Then it would punch, punch, and knee. Sometimes Bucky would slow it down and it would be one deep breath followed by a resounding punch that caused the bag to swing and its chains to rattle.

Tony dragged his knees to his chest and curled into a ball, preparing to doze.

The punching stopped. “Any reason why you’re watching me, Stark?”

Tony grumbled and snuggled as deep into the wall as he could.

Bucky scoffed and went back to hitting the bag.

Tony slid down the wall as Bucky’s breathing, punches, and heartbeat blended into one hypnotic sound that turned Tony’s muscles to mush.

After what felt like only a few minutes, Steve’s springtime fresh scent tickled Tony’s nostrils. With a sigh of acceptance, Tony uncurled and pushed himself up into a seated pose.

Bucky stopped mid-punch and looked over his shoulder at Tony, brows furrowed.

Tony’s sight zoomed in on the beads of sweat along the nape of Bucky’s neck.

While Tony could appreciate the hot and sweaty look on others, he had never been one to find sweat the most appealing substance on earth, but at that moment the way the like glinted off the shimmering bead of liquid enraptured him. Specks of rainbow colors shone just above the bead.

“Tony. …Tony!” Steve voice came in echo-y to Tony’s ears.

“Tony!” Calloused fingers with a steel-like grip shook Tony’s shoulder.

Tony blinked rapidly, resetting his vision.

Steve was crouched down next to him, face marred with a frown, while Bucky remained a statue at the punching bag. Bucky aimed an intense stare at Tony, one that could rival the expression that came over Bucky’s face whenever Tony handed him a new sniper rifle to inspect.

Tony batted Steve away. “Jeez, can’t a guy run over calculations in his head without everyone looking like they’re at a funeral?”

“Tony,” Steve started, but Tony cut him off.

“I’m fine, Cap. I didn’t blow up anything or breakdown.”

“Tony, this is getting serious,” Steve pressed.

“Do we really have to have this discussion here?” Tony tilted his head at Bucky.

“Hey, don’t mind me.” Bucky struck the punching bag one last time then headed toward the exit. The doors swished open to let him out and slid shut the moment he’d stepped over threshold.

Steve didn’t miss a beat. “Natasha said you didn’t eat breakfast this morning either.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Sometimes I skip breakfast, Steve.”

“Yes, but you don’t go through the effort of making breakfast, take two or three bites, and then stop. The only times any of us have seen you do that is when something comes up at SI or there is an emergency.”

“Maybe I had an idea for a new prototype.”

“Then why are you in the gym? Also, when that happens, you take your food with you.”

Tony scoffed and feigned offense. “What are you doing, stalking me?”

“I’m your guide, Tony. That means I take care of you.”

“Sentinels are the protectors,” Tony argued.

Steve shook his head. “Tony, I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to know what’s wrong, and what I can do to help.”

“Nothing has changed, Steve.” Tony pushed himself off the ground, brushing off dust from his clothes—god, the dust was everywhere. His eyes were picking up every tiny speck floating in the air.

Steve grabbed Tony’s wrist and yanked him down. “Then let’s meditate. After that we’ll work on some bonding exercises.”

Tony groaned and threw his head back. “I’m tired of bonding exercises.”

“Are you tired of your life?”

Tony grimaced. When Steve threw punches, he didn’t hold back. “Well, I have accomplished more than most. It has been a fulfilling life at least.”

“Tony!” Steve scowled.

“All right, all right. I get it.” Tony crossed his legs and took in a deep breath. “Let’s just get the meditation over with so we can start our trust falls or whatever Kumbaya crap you’ve got planned for today.”

“Let’s also try to get some food into you before our exercises.”

“God, why are you such a dictator?”

Steve hit Tony with a deadpan stare.

Tony sighed and shook out his arms before resting them on his knees. “Fine. Honestly, Fury should be proud.” He shut his eyes.

Steve shifted himself into position. “Just focus on me. I’m your anchor, remember?”

“You never let me forget, dear.”

Steve swatted Tony’s knee.

“I didn’t know hitting was part of meditation.”

“Tony.”

“Seriously, I think I meditate more than Bruce at this point.”

“Tony! Focus!”

“How can I when you’re not even relaxed!” Tony threw his hands up in the air.

“If you would just shut up for one minute!”

Tony guffawed. “Do you even know me?”

Steve groaned in aggravation. He buried his face in his palm. “Sometimes I wonder if you really want to be saved.”

There was that sucker punch of Steve’s again, but this time he might as well be wearing the Iron Man gauntlets with the amount of damage he caused. The pain was excruciating in Tony’s chest, but he numbed himself to it, shoving down every thought and emotion into a vault where no one could access them.

Tony must not have hid his pain fast enough, though, because Steve flinched and lifted his head up. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Tony shrugged. “Kind of hard to take it any other way than what was said.” Tony closed his eyes again and breathed deep, forcing his muscles loosen but never quite able to reach the same level of relaxation he’d had when all he had to focus on was Bucky punching. “As I said, let’s get this over with.”

Steve hesitated.

Tony could sense the desire to pursue their conversation rolling off of Steve based off the tensing of his muscles and his slightly faster breathing. Tony internally pleaded for Steve to shut up and do the damn exercise.

Perhaps Steve had heard him or sensed Tony’s desires through the bond, because he finally settled back into position and began the process of meditating.

Tony focused on Steve’s heartbeat, listening as it slowed. Steve’s breathing evened out, and if it weren’t for the faintest of differences, Tony might have mistaken Steve for asleep.

Tony could feel his heartbeat slowing down to match Steve’s and his breaths becoming deeper and evenly spaced.

 _Wrong_. The word was like a bee buzzing around his head.

Tony’s body clenched.

Steve’s heartbeat and breathing stuttered, but he quickly recovered.

Tony tried to ease himself back into his relaxed state, but like a trigger, that one stray thought brought dozens more, all of them circling around his failure to form a strong bond with anyone.

And really? How does a deep bond even form? All these stupid exercises did nothing for him. He’d gone through meditation techniques, trusts exercises, spending a week or more alone with Pepper, and every other method that was said to help with building bonds, yet he’d never formed one with her. Yet with Steve it had taken just week locked in a secluded space together and they were able to form the frail thing between them.

Pepper was the love of his life; Steve was his enemy some days. It just didn’t make any sense. How could he have a metaphysical bond with Steve and not Pepper?

And why, even after getting the equivalent of a sapling of a sprout and doing everything to cultivate it, was the bond still so weak?

Obviously there was something defective about him. His family had a history, and most of the guides he’d ever tried to form a bond with were able to do so with someone else.

Steve gripped Tony’s hands and squeezed them reassuringly.

 _Wrong!_ The dips, the curves, the texture of the skin: all of it was wrong!

Tony yanked his hands away.

Steve’s eyes flew open, shock evident on his face.

Tony clenched his hands into fists. “You know yesterday how you asked about if there were dating websites, but for sentinels and guides?”

Steve nodded.

“There are, but I never bothered with them. After Ultron, Pepper and I had FRIDAY crunch the numbers to find anyone in the world who could possibly be compatible with me. We found a few, I met with them, and there was nothing.”

“Was I one of them?” Steve asked. Tony knew why Steve was asking; if Steve had not been considered a viable candidate then he was proof that there was an error in FRIDAY’s calculations.

Tony laughed bitterly. “Surprisingly, yes. Same with Banner, but fuck if we know where he is. Not that it matters, since Banner and I tried a year or so before Ultron.”

“We can't give up.”

“I agree, but I’m running out of ideas.”

Steve squared his shoulder and looked more defiant than ever, but the loss of color to his face gave away his terror; he knew how bad the situation was if Tony was admitting he was running out of ideas.

* * *

Steve’s heart rate was rapid.

Tony frowned and looked up from his phone where an image of Pepper was being projected.

“Tony?”

“I’ll call you back, Pep.” Tony ended the call, cutting off Pepper’s sound of protest.

Steve sounded like he was on the communal floor, and was arguing with Bucky.

Which explained the quickened heartbeat.

The hairs on the back of Tony’s neck stood on end, and even though he knew Steve could more than handle himself in an argument, the same instincts that had been pushing him away from Steve were suddenly howling at Tony to go to Steve and defend his guide.

In two seconds, Tony was in the elevator and taking it to the floor Steve was on.

“When are you going to get it through your head; I can’t help you.”

“You’re the best, and you got him to calm down before.”

A crunch. Something plastic.

“I _was_ the best. Becoming emotionally and mentally unstable changed that. You already know the techniques. There’s nothing else I can do.”

The elevator doors opened.

“But at the base—”

“Not something unheard of.”

“Hey,” Tony strolled over to the duo, who were milling about the kitchen. Steve’s hands were covered in flecks of colorful paint from his artistic afternoon, whereas Bucky appeared to have gone back to the gym. A towel covered in sweat was draped over his shoulders.

Bucky had down half a liter bottle of water and crushed the bottle in his metal hand.

That explained the crunching noise from earlier.

Tony stepped up beside Steve, elbows bumping. “So what’s going on?”

“I was trying to see if Bucky could help us,” Steve explained.

“Don’t you think you should have conferred with me before getting your best friend involved?”

“Are you saying you haven’t talked to Rhodey about what’s going on?”

Well, shit. That question put Tony in quite the predicament. He hadn’t told Rhodey a thing; he didn’t want Rhodey to needlessly worry about him. However, if Steve learned that Rhodey was in the dark about Tony’s deterioration, Steve would call up Rhodey in a heartbeat and tell him.

Bucky swore in Russian.

Tony narrowed his eyes at Bucky. “You got something to say?”

Bucky leveled Tony with a chilling look. “I’m sayin’ nothin’.”

Which didn’t mean Bucky didn’t have anything to say.

Tony wasn’t stupid. Bucky’s observation skills rivaled that of Natasha’s. Tony had no clue how he’d given himself away, but he knew deep in his bones that Bucky had picked up on the fact that Tony hadn’t said anything Rhodey about his deterioration.

If wasn’t going to say anything though, then Tony would just play along and not call Bucky out on his observation. “Good.”

Bucky side-eyed Tony, a glint of aggravation in his gaze. “Although, keeping secrets from each other can sometimes interfere with a bond between sentinel and guide.”

Tony side-stepped in front of Steve. He felt an animalistic growl bubble up in his throat. “That didn’t sound like ‘nothing’, Barnes.”

The irritation vanished from Bucky’s eyes, to be replaced with disinterest. Bucky cocked his head and quirked an eyebrow at Steve. “And you think I can help you?” He huffed and gulped down a mouthful of water from his bottle. “Good luck.”

Bucky walked around Tony and Steve, and headed for the exit.

Tony fought every voice inside him that said he should give chase and attack. Bucky wasn’t an enemy; he was a pain in the ass, but not the enemy.

“Did you really have to chase him off?” Steve asked.

Tony cringed at the accusing tone. “I think he was going to run off anyway,” Tony said with as much sass as he could muster.

“He might have had an idea about what we could do.”

“Based off what I heard, Bucky has nothing for us.”

“Then what do you want to do, Tony? Because like you, I am running out of ideas.”

“We’ll figure something out.” Tony ignored the knot of dread in his stomach.

* * *

Something was up; every avenger who wasn’t already deployed on a mission or away for other reasons had gathered in the meeting room, except Tony.

Tony could hear them talking, but every time he tried to fine tune his hearing it was like listening to a crackling radio, or flipping from a classical musical station to heavy metal with the volume blasting.

“FRIDAY, what is the rest of the team up to?”

“I have been asked not to disclose that information to you.”

The team was moving. Tony waited to see if they would disperse, but their footsteps echoed toward where the carrier was kept.

There was only one reason why his teammates would be heading in that direction, and it wasn’t for repairs.

“FRIDAY, connect me to Steve.”

“I’m sorry, boss, but he says that he has to run an important errand and cannot be disturbed.”

“Tell him I know that his damn errand is a mission, and I’m not going to sit back like some baby and wait for the team to return home.”

A few seconds later a screen popped up with Steve’s disgruntled face. “Tony, in your current condition you cannot go on missions.”

“I damn well can, Steve. Now you can either tell me about the mission or I can just tag along completely blind.”

“You’re not going to join us.”

“I’d like to see you stop me. You’d have to blast this place with an EMP to stop me from taking off after all of you, and if you do that, then all of you are grounded too. Face it, Steve, I’m coming along. Even a concentrated EMP blast won’t work, unless you think you can get a hold of such a device and get to my suits before me.”

If Wanda wasn’t off on a mission with Vision, she might have been able to hold Tony in place long enough that the rest of the Avengers could leave. Perhaps even Thor could keep Tony from pursing the team, although, there was a good chance there’d be a lot of destruction involved if Thor held Tony back.

Steve must have realized this, so he switched tactics. “This isn’t some big battle in which we save a city, Tony. SHIELD found another HYDRA base, which we believe is where they are storing the weapons mentioned in the data you collected. This is a simple retrieval mission; your additional manpower is not needed.”

Simple retrieval mission? Had someone hit Steve on the head? Tony would be the first to admit, the team’s skill sets allowed them to take down more enemy’s than the average Joe, but this was still a HYDRA base filled with hundreds of enemies. Not only that, but Steve would be going in with Bucky, Natasha, Clint, and Sam: all formidable opponents, but three of which were very much normal humans. Also, there was a certain “boom” factor missing to the team, even if Clint brought his exploding arrows.

Plus, what if they ran into a weapon or bomb that needed diffusing? Natasha was good with tech, but when HYDRA was involved there almost always was some kind of curve ball, and while Natasha was good at figuring things out, Tony had always been faster. And when it came to things like explosives, timing was everything.

Tony couldn’t let his team go out there without him; he needed to be there to protect them.

“I’m going.”

“No, Tony.”

* * *

Tony shot open the doors to the HYDRA base, as the rest of the team funneled in behind him.

“What happened to sneaking in?” Clint said over the comms.

“They’d already spotted us,” Tony said as he zoomed around the building, taking out any guards on the outside.

“Us or the man in the big, red suit?” Sam asked as he cleared out the other side of the building.

“You’re just jealous that your wings aren’t as sexy as my suit.”

“I don’t know. I’ve seen more wing kink on the internet than I have robot or metal suit kink,” Clint said.

“Chatter,” Steve reprimanded.

“Oh! Hello?” Flashing lights and monitors had caught Tony’s attention from one of the windows. “FRIDAY, confirm what I am seeing here.”

“It appears to be a security room.”

“Excellent, let’s go see how secure it is.”

Tony rammed through the window head first, sending glass shattering to the floor.

Guns spewed bullets at him, but the armor took them with ease. Tony fired a round of blasts at the security guards that knocked them into the walls and unconscious.

Tony scanned the room for more guards, but his scan came up empty. “Hmm. Not very secure at all. Ironic, isn’t it?”

“Like rain on your wedding day, boss.”

Tony mock gasped as he set about dismantling the security system. “Remind me when we get home to take a look at you, FRIDAY. A fine system like you should know the proper definition of ironic and how to use the word correctly.”

“Iron Man, you still in security?” Steve demanded.

Tony glanced up at the monitor showing Steve breaking down the door into one of the labs. “Yup, and use the shoulder next time, Steve, otherwise you’re going to do some serious damage to yourself.”

Steve flung his shield at the enemies in the room. “I got a little overexcited. Also, glad to hear the camera feed works. Stay there and monitor what’s going on. Let us know if anyone is escaping with tech or if one of us is about to be surrounded.”

The command chaffed; Tony wanted to be in the middle of the action. Even so, he could acknowledge the advantage of maintaining his position. “Understood. I’ll see if I can hack into their data mainframe from here.”

“Your priority is the monitors.”

“I heard you the first time. Winter, three approaching from upcoming corridor on your left.”

Bucky didn’t respond, instead he took cover behind a rack of machine parts, waited for the three agents to enter the hall, then fired at them.

“Boss, Hawkeye has gotten himself caught in close quarter combat.”

Tony’s eyes jumped to Clint’s monitor. FRIDAY was right, but it appeared Clint was handling himself fine. He even managed to mimic one of Natasha’s leg moves to incapacitate one of the agents.

“Well, we know who Clint’s been practicing with, not that there was ever any question.” Tony’s eyes skimmed the other displays while his fingers typed across the keyboard, pulling up windows on the computer’s screens.

“Shit!” Sam shouted.

Tony’s head snapped around to Sam’s monitor.

Sam’s left wing had been ripped apart by an explosion and the man was crashing down to earth.

Tony didn’t think; he acted.

He zoomed out of the window and straight for Sam.

Tony wasn’t fast enough. Even as he flew straight for Sam, he knew based off of Sam’s positioning that he wouldn’t make it before Sam crash landed, but his heart still lurched when he saw Sam skid and somersault across the ground.

Tony landed in front of Sam and shot off repulsor beams in the direction of Sam’s attackers.

In seconds, FRIDAY was flashing something across his HUD screen and saying something to him, but Tony couldn’t stop shooting. If he stopped shooting then the agents would attack again, and Sam would be dead, if he wasn’t already.

Tony thought he heard Sam calling his name, but it was so distant Tony was sure he was imagining things.

A shield to the head knocked out Tony.

* * *

The sound of roaring engines, shifting gears, and howling winds stirred Tony. With it came the familiar smell of the carrier, and each of his teammates’ odors, which was not a pleasant mix, especially since all of their scents were tainted with blood and sweat.

Tony shifted and noticed that he was no longer in his suit and that he was lying across two seats.

Tony groaned and rubbed his hand down his face. “Did I get drunk again?”

“I don’t know if that would have been better.” Steve thrust a water bottle at Tony’s face. “You lost it.”

Tony unscrewed the bottle cap, his lips falling in a downward curl as he recalled blurry images from his last moments of consciousness. “I don’t remember my senses overwhelming me.”

“Not senses this time: instinct.”

Tony’s stomach dropped. “Oh.” In a lot of ways that was worse than if Tony had been overwhelmed.

“You almost destroyed the building while we were inside,” Clint threw over his shoulder from the pilot’s seat.

Natasha punched Clint in the shoulder.

“You did it to protect me though,” Sam threw in quickly, an obvious attempt to make up for Clint’s blunder. “So thanks.”

“Any data we could have collected was erased, though, and the weapons we were looking for had disappeared along with half of the agents.” Steve wasn’t projecting anger in his tone or on his face, but Tony knew by the tightness of Steve’s jaw and muscles that the man was livid. “We had to focus all of our attention on escaping and stopping you.”

Tony shrugged. “Once you were outside, you could have just let me destroy the building. Not like the world needs another HYDRA base in it.”

“That’s not the point, Tony.” Just enough anger leaked into Steve’s voice to give it an edge. “You fought _us_ when we got too close to Sam. You even injured Bucky.”

Tony heart jumped to his throat. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and searched the aircraft for Bucky.

In the farthest corner of the carrier, Bucky stood in the shadows like a phantom. His eyes were glazed over in thought. A white bandage encircled his upper arm, and his metal hand pressed a cold compress to his injury.

Tony’s throat went dry.

Images of people harmed by Ultron flashed through Tony’s mind.

Innocent people harmed because he’d tried to protect everyone and he had somehow messed up instead.

He was going to be sick.

“Calm down, Stark. Tis only a flesh wound.” Bucky’s eyes had regained some of their focus, but he kept them pinned to the wall as he spoke, like he didn’t want to be part of the conversation.

Tony’s brain sputtered. “Did you just make a Monty Python reference?”

Bucky didn’t say anything.

“Tony, you can’t come on anymore missions until we figure out what to do about your condition,” Steve said.

Something inside Tony snapped at Steve’s sentence. “So you just want me to sit around and wait to die?”

“No, but we can’t—”

“Uh, not that I don’t love your daily bitch fests, but I’m picking up something on our scanners and it’s coming in fast,” Clint said.

“Readings indicate a vessel, heavily armed. No indication whether friendly or hostile,” Natasha stated.

Steve frowned and headed over to the controls.

Tony righted himself on one of the chairs and leaned forward, watching the proceedings.

“Have you tried contact?”

“No response,” Natasha answered.

Steve nodded. “Hawkeye, veer out of their path. Let’s see what happens.”

Warning light flashed across the readout screens.

“Vessel just fired at us,” Natasha announced.

Clint viciously yanked the aircraft into a sideways tailspin.

The missile sailed past them.

Except it wasn’t a missile.

Tony jumped out of his seat to warn the others just as the EMP went off.

Darkness consumed the aircraft. Suddenly, Tony was weightless and flying out of his as the carrier crashed toward the ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments letting me know what you think, or even just a comment stating you found a typo (I'm human; I know my flaws). It's been a while since I've done a multi-chaptered fic, so I would greatly appreciate hearing back from you so I can gauge whether or not this is a story that should be continued and/or updated regularly. 
> 
> You can also comment on [tumblr](http://akira-of-the-twilight.tumblr.com/) if you prefer.


	2. Chapter 2

It was an oxymoron of sensations. Tony was floating through the air while gravity tugged his body down with the aircraft.

Heat and flames burst from one side of the Quinjet followed by a deafening boom as Tony was flung across the airship.

The engines exploded, heat and flames blasted through the hull of the carrier, and in slow motion Tony saw scrap metal flying toward him.

Tony was back in Afghanistan, gasping for breath and bleeding out, yet numb to the pain—too in shock to feel much of anything.

Ice-cold water rushed up his back to cover his body and face and rid him of his numbness.

Water!

His heart clawed and tore at his chest like a rabid tiger.

He was falling deeper into the water, yet he could still see _them_. The shadows of his captors. He could hear their muffled taunts and feel the pressure of the basin’s rim against his chest. Oh god, he could taste the rust and dirt that had lined the basin in his mouth.

Tony screamed and bubbles clouded out the shadows of his tormentors. Salt water filled his lungs and Tony kicked out and swung at nothing, the water turning his movements sluggish.

Something yanked on the back of his shirt.

Tony fought, trying to punch the human chest behind him.

Metal clamped onto his face and forced Tony to turn. It squeezed his mouth so his lips puckered like a blow doll’s.

Then a mouth was on his and oxygen—sweet, delicious oxygen—was pouring into his lungs.

An arm wrapped around Tony’s waist, pulling him close to his oxygen source—Bucky; he was the only person Tony knew with a metal hand who had been in the Quinjet.

Tony swung an arm around Bucky’s neck and brought them closer.

Bucky kicked, propelling them toward the surface.

Their oxygen was dwindling, and Tony’s lungs burned for more.

Bucky and Tony broke through surface.

They gasped and Tony threw his second arm around Bucky.

A roar greater than any sound any leviathan could ever make silenced all other noise.

The water rose up in a wave gigantic enough to be worthy of legend; large enough that even Thor with his epic tales would find himself fearful of what entity had created it, because it couldn’t possibly be natural.

Bucky’s metal arm squeezed Tony’s waist and he hooked his chin over Tony’s shoulder. “Hold on!”

Tony latched his legs around Bucky and clung for dear life “You think I’d let go willingly?”

The wave crashed into them, and the pressure alone knocked Tony unconscious.

* * *

Sand. Itching, grating, burning sand, and it was everywhere. It clung to Tony’s legs and back, and Tony really didn’t want to think about how much had slipped under his pants and attached itself to his skin. Tony shifted, trying to rub some of the sand off him, but all it did was stir up the sand underneath him, which—now that Tony thought about it—was quite odd to have underneath him, since last he checked he wasn’t at the beach.

The saltwater mist on the wind tickled Tony’s nostrils.

Like a black and white film montage, memories of the Avenger’s aircraft exploding and him falling into the ocean came to Tony.

With a gasp of fright, Tony shot up, only to be shoved down by a metal hand.

Tony screwed his eyes shut against the sun’s rays and squeezed the hand over his heart like it was a lifeline.

Bucky’s steady heartbeat and breathing guided Tony’s own, helping him relax just enough so that it didn’t feel like the metal augmentation in his chest had returned but missing the key component: the arc reactor.

Tony slumped into the sand. He turned his head toward Bucky

He took in more of his surroundings through his other senses. The smell of foliage mixed with the dominating smell of the sea. Salt teased his taste buds. The sun heated his body, especially his toes. Bucky must have removed Tony’s shoes so they could dry.

Slowly, Tony peeled open his eyes.

Bucky stared down at him in manner that was less Bucky Barnes and more Winter Soldier. It was the penetrating yet dead gaze the soldier wore into battle—the intensity was missing, but that emptiness—that void that seemed as vast as a black hole was there.

“Where are the others?” Tony’s voice was shredded to bits. Calling it a croak would have been a compliment.

Tony winced.

He hadn’t felt it before, but his body was sore all over and he could smell that his burned flesh.

Tony swallowed down his vomit.

“No signs of anyone. Can you sense Steve?”

Tony shook his head.

Bucky nodded, once again acting more like the Winter Soldier than himself; normally Bucky would have been tearing through the place searching for Steve.

“Where?” Tony’s voice wobbled.

“No idea, but I don’t trust it.”

Tony lifted his head to look around.

It was a tropical island paradise.

Tony dropped his head. “You spent too much time in Russia if you think this is bad.”

“Agreed, but my time is Russia isn’t why I find this place suspicious. This island wasn’t on any map, and the people who attacked us should not have been able to sneak up on us like they did, not with your tech.”

It was the oddest juxtaposition. Vocally, it was Bucky who was speaking, but visually, Tony still saw the Winter Soldier.

“You look so weird.”

“The ocean did you good too, Stark.”

Tony grinned. “I always look sexy.”

Bucky grunted. His hand hovered over the knife strapped to his thigh as he scanned the area for enemies.

Tony listened, but he couldn’t pick any noise that indicated another human was around. He did hear a few scurrying animals though.

Sucking in a deep breath, Tony pushed himself up, wincing at the strain it put on him. He looked down at his arms and saw that they were dressed in palm leaf bandages. Tony eyed the green trappings. “Someone’s been busy.”

“You’re lucky you got out of that explosion with just a few burns.”

“Speaking of burning,” Tony stopped and cleared his throat. His voice was steadily gaining strength but his throat still felt like someone had taken a knife and scraped a layer of tissue off of it. “Fire?”

One of the first rules about being stranded on an island was to make some sort of S.O.S. signal that could be spotted by planes ASAP. Every second that passed without a signal increased the chances of never being found, because as time passed fewer and fewer rescue planes would be sent out.

Admittedly, SHIELD giving up on finding the Avengers any time soon seemed highly unlikely, but in this instance, Tony didn’t want to take the chance.

“No fire.” Bucky twisted around, and produced Tony’s shoes and socks from behind him. He relinquished the footwear to Tony. “If someone else is on this island, I don’t want to alert them.”

Tony grimaced at the still damp socks. They’d do him more harm than good without a few more hours of drying, so he pocketed them then slipped his shoes on over his bare feet. “If someone else is on this island, it’s probably one of our teammates.”

Bucky rose to his feet and offered Tony a hand to help the genius stand. Tony took the offering, and grunted as he was hoisted up.

Bucky’s fingers wrapped around the handle of his knife then released it.

There was so much tension in Bucky, he was like a coiled spring.

Tony wondered if that was what he’d looked like before he started blasting the HYDRA building in a misguided attempt to protect Sam.

“We need water,” Tony stated.

Bucky nodded and headed toward the tropical foliage. “We’ll also need food and shelter. We can search for survivors while scrounge for the basics. Everyone needs water so we might find the other Avengers when we find water.”

Tony nodded, shadowing Bucky. At the thought of finding his teammates, Tony’s hands twitched at his side. He wanted to tear through the island looking for them right then and there, but he knew better. His body could only go so long without water before dying, and even less before symptoms of dehydration took affect. Water needed to be found first.

Plus, he wasn’t the only one who needed water.

Tony eyes drifted to Bucky’s back where three guns hung, which was pretty impressive considering how much they must have been thrown about in the ocean.

Bucky was going to need water too. He’d also need food a lot sooner than Tony would. Tony could survive weeks without food, but Bucky’s metabolism probably halved the amount of time they could go without a meal on the island.

The same went for Steve if he was anywhere nearby.

Tony began making a list of things he needed to get and build in order to survive and take care of his friends. No one was going to suffer as long as Tony was around.

“This way.” Bucky cocked his head toward the right. “Area’s more lush.”

And lush meant water.

Tony smiled. “You know, I always thought if I got stuck on a deserted island I’d either want you or Clint around.”

“Really?”

“Yup. Clint uses a weapon from the Paleolithic era, and you’re a friggin’ tank.”

Bucky paused and cast a dubious look at Tony.

“Really!” Tony defended. “I’ve seen you take so many hits and get up like it’s nothing. Also, you always struck me as the type to have excellent survival instincts.”

Bucky snorted. “I assume that’s a compliment.”

“It is! Unlike Clint, I would still want to team up with you if there was a zombie apocalypse.”

“And who else?”

“Huh?”

The corner of Bucky’s mouth twitched into a grin as he pushed bushes’ branches out of their path. “If you couldn’t partner with me, who else would you want to partner with?”

“Oh?” Tony thought about it for a few seconds. “I’d say Natasha, but I feel like she’d be pretty attached to Clint, so I’d be stuck with him too. Also, I don’t know how well it would work out between us when it would come time for us to make life or death decisions. We can be pretty cold when we need to be, but the fallout could end up being huge for us. She’s definitely one of the top five, but not a number one choice.”

An amused sound escaped Bucky, and like a dog hearing praise, excitement flared in Tony and he chased the source. “Bruce would be a top five too. We could work on a zombie cure together, and when things got tough, he could turn bug, green, and scary. No zombies want to mess with a hulk. Also, he may have immunity to however zombie-ism is passed.”

“So then you probably want Thor as a partner too?”

“Eh.” Tony wobbled his hand. “Assuming Thor is stuck on Earth for some reason—Thor has all the power, but none of the finesse that you need to survive a zombie apocalypse. In a situation where we’d have to remain quiet and composed, I don’t know if he could do it. Sure, in some situations he could, but others, I am not so sure.”

Tony started ticking off names. “Wanda would be good to have around, but she and I still have some issues to work out. Vision would be good too; although, since he’s acting as Wanda’s guide there might be some issues there. I’d team up with Rhodey in a heartbeat, but chances are we’d be on different continents during the outbreak.”

“What about Steve?” A hint of disapproval had entered Bucky’s voice.

“Steve would be a good choice,” Tony hedged.

“But not your choice.”

Good damn it. Bucky couldn’t be that observant; it would be unfair to the rest of the world. Tony must have tipped his hand again somehow.

“All right, yes, I wouldn’t pick Steve, but not because he’d suck to be partnered up with. It’s because we are so prone to fighting, and also because I’d always have to be the one to make the tough call.”

“Steve can make tough calls.”

“No, Steve pushes and pushes until he’s forced to make the undesirable call—unless he’s the one who suffers from the decision—thus he puts so many other people at risk. I get that we want to save everybody, but there comes a point when the numbers don’t balance out, and Steve chooses to ignore that point.”

Bucky didn’t say anything.

God damn it, Tony thought to himself, why couldn’t he just keep his big mouth shut? He loved Steve; Steve was family, if he couldn’t have kept quiet then why couldn’t he at least have focused on _that_ aspect of his relationship with Steve when he talked?

“I see your point,” Bucky stated.

“Yeah, well, I know he’s your friend, but—wait…? What did you say?”

“I’ve known Steve most of my life, if anyone knows how pigheaded that son of a bitch can be, trust me; it’s me.”

Tony was flabbergasted. Bucky should be kicking his ass all the way to Sunday, yet the guy trudged on like Tony had not just insulted his best friend—his other half in the epic bromance that had undone seventy years worth of brainwashing. “You’re a robot who has taken the real Bucky Barnes’ place, aren’t you?”

Bucky smacked Tony on the back of the head. “Idiot.”

“Ow!” Tony massaged his skull. “Okay, not a robot. But even if you agree Steve is stubborn, how the hell are you not knocking out my teeth right now?”

“Tony, I find it more disturbing that Steve is your guide, yet you don’t consider him a potential partner in an apocalyptic setting.”

“Yeah, well…” Tony couldn’t conjure any defense for his thinking. “Most days I don’t even know how the two of use have a bond.”

“It’s a question I’m starting to ask myself too.”

Bucky’s confession was a slap to the face, one that Tony accepted, but it still stung.

“Hear that?” Bucky asked.

Tony locked away his hurt in the vault where he stored all of his vulnerable emotions, and listened.

Water trickled some distance away.

Tony nodded.

Bucky took off in the direction of the sound. He moved faster than Tony could keep up, and he often had to stop so they could remain together. Bucky maneuvered around the jungle like he’d lived in it all his life, whereas Tony tripped on branches and climbed over blockades at a snail’s pace.

Some sentinel Tony made, but then again, Bucky was like Steve: a guide who didn’t need a sentinel, a person who was perfectly balanced with the strength and heightened sense of a sentinel and the intuitive and grounding affects of a guide.

Plus, there was the hell HYDRA had put Bucky through to make him the world’s perfect weapon.

Tony supposed he really shouldn’t complain or compare himself to Bucky.

Bucky pushed back a bush, revealing a shallow stream.

Tony stepped forward, surveying the area for signs of any potential danger; animals congregated toward water and Tony did not want Bucky or himself to step into a predator’s territory without being prepared. He also searched for signs that humans had passed by for a few reasons: 1.) aforementioned humans might be one of his teammates, 2.) if a human did pass by and they were an idiot they may have done something to pollute the water source, and 3.) if any humans had come near the water source, Bucky and him would want to follow their trail, even if the humans turned out not to be their teammates.

Before Tony could finish scouting the area, Bucky marched toward the stream and kneeled in front of it.

Tony scowled. “Don’t go marching out there until we’ve cleared the area.”

Bucky ignored him. He cupped his hand and scooped up a handful of water. He sniffed the water then cautiously sipped it. He nodded in acceptance. “It’s clean.”

“It’s not _clean_. It’s acceptable. Clean water goes through more filtration.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Stop being a priss, Stark. This is why you’re not on my list of zombie apocalypse buddy choices.”

Rusted machete to the heart.

Tony scowled through the pain. “You should have waited for me to finish checking for danger.”

“I’d already checked, Stark. You’re not the only one here with enhanced senses, and surveying is one of my specialties.” Bucky thrust his hand into the water and brought another handful to his mouth.

Bucky’s response grated on Tony. Mentally he knew Bucky was right, but emotionally, he was a mess of protective instincts. He needed to be out there finding his teammates and making certain that they were taken care of. He’d found them a water source, but Bucky had denied him a chance to make sure it was properly secure for their teammates.

It was fine though, he told himself. Bucky knew what he was doing and in this instance Tony should defer to his judgment.

God, but it irked Tony. It was like a bad itch running up and down his spine.

Bucky patted the spot on the ground next to him. “Drink, Tony.”

“Not really thirsty.” Tony didn’t know why he was lying. There was just something in him that needed to rebel right then.

“Your voice still sounds like shit, Stark. Don’t give me any of your crap.” Bucky patted the ground again.

“I don’t feel like it.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest and looked away.

Bucky huffed in irritation and rose to his feet.

Tony braced himself for a physical confrontation. Bucky was going to drag him to the water and force him to drink.

It made his emotions even more of a mess. He couldn’t attack a teammate, but god damn it, he needed to fight off any threat.

He flinched and gritted his teeth when Bucky slung an arm around his shoulders instead of attacking him.

Tony clenched his fists and his sides.

Bucky sucked in a deep breath and rested his cheek against Tony’s head. He squeezed Tony just enough to mimic the pressure of a hug. “Breathe, Tony. Both of us are safe.”

Had Bucky hit his head? They were trapped on an island with no signs of any other humans. They may have found water, but they still needed food and shelter. Tony could work on shelter; he could build them a house, but that would take days and they could freeze to death in the middle of the night, and—

Bucky’s fingers felt really _good_ combing through his hair.

Tony slumped against Bucky. A contented rumble vibrated through him. He turned his head toward Bucky, and his nose brushed Bucky’s throat. The unmistaken scent of metal, oil, and Bucky’s personal earthy musk worked like a sedative. Tony closed his eyes and breathed in the intoxicating mixture.

Bucky’s heartbeat picked up a nervous tick.

Tony grumbled and plastered himself to Bucky’s side. His fingers skimmed across Bucky’s armor.

In the back of his head Tony ran through calculations and realized he must have been knocked out for hours if Bucky’s armor had dried out so quickly (why the hell his socks hadn’t, Tony had no idea, but it just seemed like his luck).

Bucky gulped and combed his fingers through Tony’s hair again. “You calmed down enough to drink, Tony?”

Tony frowned. Bucky’s heartbeat was still slightly elevated and his muscles were a tad more tense; Tony could feel the way Bucky was fighting to maintain his loose posture. “What’s wrong?”

Bucky tilted is head back and cursed in Russian. He screwed his eyes shut. “Not exactly a cuddler.”

 _Oh_. Tony dropped his arms from Bucky and pulled back. He swallowed down the disappointment gouging his heart. He was a tactile person, and while he’d never wanted to cuddle with Bucky before; it still hurt to be rejected, even if it was by Bucky Barnes: smartass and master assassin.

Really, Tony was lucky Bucky hadn’t pushed him away.

Tony kneeled at the stream and tried not to think about his time spent cuddling with Pepper, or hell, even Steve. He tried not to recall how even if the two of them could never get him to calm down and focus fully on the near and present, the contact had soothed him.

Although, Tony still wished Steve had a better chest for head resting.

“We’re going to have to set up a shelter nearby or find some way to transport the water,” Bucky said.

“Leave shelter to me,” Tony said between handfuls of water.

Bucky frowned. “Nothing extravagant. We should try to find someplace above ground to protect ourselves from predators and any unwanted guests.”

“That’s great in theory, but unless you think we can build a tree house in the next few hours, that’s not happening.”

“How about hammocks?”

Tony thought about the materials he had seen lying around the island. “Possible, but building just one hammock is going to eat up the rest of the day. Finding enough materials may take just as long. Now, if we had some duct tape, we’d be all set, and I could make us two hammocks like that.” Tony snapped his fingers to demonstrate.

“I think you’re over estimating the use of duct tape.”

“Sweetie, don’t question me when it comes to duct tape. When I was a toddler and Howard took away my tools, wires, and metals, I experimented with many household items. Trust me, I could build a mansion out of duct tape.”

“Whatever you say.” Bucky shook his head.

Tony was going to take Bucky camping and bring only rolls of duct tape with him; Bucky would learn.

“Because we can’t light a fire, we’ll have to stick to just gathering. Since that requires walking around, we should work on finding shelter together.”

“We’ll have to build a fire eventually, Bucky. How else will SHIELD find us? Also, we have no idea how cold it will get out here.”

“We can make a sign with rocks that can be seen from above, and if we stay huddled together, we can survive without fire.”

“I thought you weren’t a cuddler.”

“It’s not cuddling, and even if it was, I’ll cuddle for survival.”

“And what makes you so sure body heat will be enough?”

Bucky hit Tony with a deadpan stare. “We didn’t wash up on shore just a couple hours ago. We washed up hours before dawn.”

Which would have given Bucky an accurate idea of how cold the island got at night.

Bucky’s stomach grumbled.

Like a light switch, Tony’s drive to protect and provide for his teammate was back and focused entirely on Bucky.

Tony took one last handful of water, drank it, then stood. “All right, let’s find coconuts or whatever is edible on this island.” Tony didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he marched upstream, knowing that his best bet of finding food would be near a water source.

In a blink, Bucky had caught up to Tony. He wrapped his hand around Tony’s wrist, but didn’t use the connection to impede Tony. “Food is secondary right now. Shelter is more important. We can search for both for the next hour or so, but after that we’ll have to take advantage of what nature gives us and modify it for a shelter.”

“I know.”

“I know, you know.” Bucky squeezed Tony’s wrist. “I just want to make certain your hindbrain knows.”

Tony sighed. He supposed he deserved that after what happened at the HYDRA base.

Tony glanced at Bucky’s flesh arm.

Bucky’s sleeve was rolled down, covering the wound he’d received from Tony.

Tony nodded at the injury. “How’s the damage?”

Bucky dropped Tony’s wrist and looked at his arm. He shrugged. “Super Serum patches me up quick. The damage is gone.” Bucky’s eyes trailed over the palm leaves bandaging Tony’s arms. “How about you?”

Tony patted his arm and grimaced at the sharp pain. “Tender, dry, itchy, and it feels like the skin as has been stretched too thin, but I’ll live. I’ve had much worse.”

“So I’ve heard. Just because you’ve felt worse pain though doesn’t lessen how much you feel now.”

Tony shrugged. “As I said though, I’ll live.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, but Tony sensed his disapproval.

Tony held back the sigh of frustration that threatened to spill out of him. He felt like he was dealing with Steve. Steve was a natural mother hen and didn’t like it when Tony played off his injuries as something minor. Steve was also a fucking hypocrite who would run through a building on a broken leg if it meant protecting someone.

It was a stupid and admirable trait, and considering that Steve and Bucky were brothers in every sense but blood, Tony really shouldn’t be surprised the two shared the trait. Although, Tony preferred Bucky’s quiet disapproval to Steve’s lectures on proper care.

A rock formation about a quarter mile away from the stream caught Tony’s eye. Tony grabbed Bucky’s arm to keep him from moving and turned toward the rocks.

The rocks were huge and fitted perfectly together to create a crescent wall—a rock trench almost, due to the rocks being carved into the slope of a small rise in the ground.

The wall was man made.

Tony pointed at the structure. “You see that?”

Bucky frowned. “We’re not alone.”

Tony scoffed. “Don’t say that. Whoever else was here could have died.” Tony headed toward the unnatural formation.

“Because that is a far more comforting thought.”

“Considering what tends to happen to people when they are left in seclusion for too long, I find more comfort in thinking the person is dead.”

“You’re assuming there is only one person.”

“No tracks,” Tony commented as they drew closer to the rocks. He sniffed. “Don’t smell anything remotely human.”

“Same,” Bucky agreed. “So either our human moved on or…”

“They died somewhere out there.” Tony gestured at the wilderness.

Bucky scowled.

Tony grinned. “What? Can’t handle a little macabre humor?”

“Not when it makes me wonder how the person died and then question the chances that we’ll die the same way.”

Tony muscles sprang together, ready for a fight. “No one is dying.”

Bucky raised a thin eyebrow at Tony. “Oh? Suddenly death isn’t a joke to you?”

Tony scowled and huddled closer to Bucky. Suddenly the shadows seemed more threatening and the rustling of birds and small jungle critters felt far more ominous.

His fingers wrapped around Bucky’s flesh elbow.

Bucky huffed. “It’s fine, Tony. Besides, what are you going to fight anyone off with? Unless you plan to take one of my knives off me?”

Tony tapped his fingers along the inside of Bucky’s elbow. “Maybe. A gun would be better.”

“Not until I clean them.”

Tony pretended to be annoyed. “Really, Barnes? You didn’t clean them already? What were you doing while I was unconscious? Admiring my face?”

“It is the face of an angel,” Bucky said reverently.

Tony snickered.

Bucky and Tony reached the man made structure of rocks. Bucky kneeled on the ground and brushed away dirt and twigs to see if perhaps there had been tracks that he and Tony had missed from a distance.

Tony stood guard over Bucky, keeping his ears perked and his eyes moving.

After ten minutes of thoroughly searching the area, Bucky rose to his feet and shook his head. “Nothing. If someone was here it was a long time ago.”

“Why make a rock wall, though?” Tony sat on the ground, placing his back against the rocks. He snuggled against the wall and hummed in thought. “It does create a barrier from the wind coming from that side.” Tony gestured behind him. “You could also make a tent with palm leaves to protect your other side.” Tony rolled onto his knee and peeked over the wall’s edge. “Would be a great place to shoot from if someone were coming at you, but considering this is the first sign of any other human on the island we have run across, I’m skeptical that whoever made this thought about that.”

“I don’t know why it was made, but I don’t like it.”

The serious statement was ruined by Bucky’s stomach rumbling.

Tony jumped up. “That’s it. We need to find food.”

“I’m not going to starve, Tony. We need shelter more.”

Tony gestured at the rock formation. “Did you just miss what I was saying? While I will admit, a cave or a hammock with an awning would be better; worse case scenario: this isn’t a bad place to bunker down for one night.”

“It is if whoever made it comes back and isn’t friendly.”

“What are the odds? We both agree that neither of us can detect any signs of someone having been here in a long time—a couple weeks minimum I would say. Why would anyone come back now?”

“Why wouldn’t they if they spent days building that wall?”

Tony held up his hands in surrender. “Fine, fine. We’ll keep looking for a place to sleep, but unless we discover a cave, I don’t think we’re going to find much better.” Tony ignored his twitchy nerves that made his fingers fidget with the need to do more for Bucky. His friend needed food.

If they were alive, all of his other friends needed food too.

Self-revulsion flooded Tony.

If his friends were alive and on the islanded they needed food, and Tony wasn’t there to provide it. It didn’t matter that Natasha, Clint, Steve, and Sam could probably all forage just fine. He was their teammate, and he was supposed to take care of them.

He was such a failure; he wanted to vomit.

He should have set up shelter, gotten food, and found the others by now.

What kind of sentinel was he?

A weakling. A failure. He couldn’t protect anyone without his suit. Was he even a real sentinel?

Bucky placed a hand at the cradle of Tony’s back. ”Come back, Tony.”

Tony couldn’t. He just wanted to heave out all the contents of his stomach.

“Tony,” Bucky’s voice became firm. “Whatever is going through your head, shut it off now. You’re going to build us a shelter, and then we’re going to find food. If we still have any daylight after that, we’ll see what we can do about finding the others. Do you hear me?”

Bucky’s heartbeat was steady. His breathing even.

Perfect and calm.

Just like Tony needed to be.

Tony sucked in a deep breath, and a weight was lifted off his chest.

Bucky rubbed Tony’s back. “Good.” Bucky took a step back. “So what do we need to make a shelter?”

That was an easy question for Tony to answer. He’d already been cataloguing useful materials they’d come across on the island. Although, there was one material they had yet to stumble upon that Tony hoped lived on the island. He just needed to do a bit more searching.

“Grab any palm leaves you find lying on the ground or hanging low. We can use them for mats, blankets, and make a small awning over us. What I really want to find are vines. If we can find vines the production time on anything I make is going to be twice as fast. Plus, I can jerry-rig a harness and rope in case we need to escape into the trees or climb down the side of a cliff.”

“I don’t think we’ll be doing any cliff climbing.”

Tony shrugged and headed back toward the stream.

Bucky and Tony wandered the island in silence, and it was driving Tony mad. He was used to the white noise of the city always in the background, or the beeps and whirs of the machines in his workshop or in Stark Industry labs. The trickling of water and the soft rustling of trees and bushes as critters skittered about was too tranquil.

He could feel the strain on his eyes as he reached out to hear sounds that weren’t there. His other senses began to shut down, and funnel all of his attention on his hearing.

Tony jumped when metal fingers encircled his wrist.

Tony yelped and glanced down at Bucky’s hand then at Bucky’s face.

The serious expression Bucky wore as he held Tony’s wrist, tickled Tony’s funny bone. A firm line had become Bucky’s mouth and his eyes were laser focused as they swept the area; he was a man on a mission.

And he was rubbing his thumb over Tony’s pulse point like they were lovers.

The temptation to tease Bucky was great, but the light touch tugged on something within him. The touch was calming and reassuring, but also light enough that Tony could ignore it, or he could revel in the contact.

It was similar to how a full-fledge bond between guide and sentinel was supposed to feel—a presence that’s always there, but never disruptive.

Tony didn’t have that with Steve. The connection they had was something Tony always had to search for, and it always felt more like a soft breeze ghosting through his weak hold than a comforting touch or presence.

Bucky elbowed Tony and pointed west. “See what I see?” Bucky’s lips quirked up with a grin.

Tony followed Bucky’s finger. He squinted through the trees and bushes until he could see that at about a fifteen minute walk away was a cluster of trees, and hanging from their branches were vines upon vines.

“I could kiss you right now.”

Bucky snorted. “Don’t.”

“I promise I won’t use tongue.”

Bucky tugged Tony toward the trees. “Just because I get you all hot and bothered, doesn’t mean I get the same way for you.”

“Aw, Bucky doll, you’re breakin’ my heart.” Tony swooped in and pecked Bucky on the cheek.

Bucky scowled. “Don’t try to be cute with me.”

Tony batted his eyelashes. “I can’t help it. Adorable is my natural state of being.”

“More like annoying.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

Twenty needles to the heart that one. Tony had been called annoying enough times that the insult didn’t carry much weight, but when said by a friend it had a little more bite.

Bucky pressed his thumb hard against Tony’s pulse point, startling Tony.

Bucky cussed under his breath and massaged his temple like he had a headache. “Jesus, you’re a real piece of work, you know?”

“You have to work hard to be as amazing as me. Well, unless you’re me, then it is just natural.”

Bucky shook his head, frustration evident, but also undermined by the upward curl of Bucky’s mouth. He lessened the pressure on Tony’s pulse point and returned to gently rubbing circles over the sensitive skin there. “Be honest with me, how many times has Steve come close to slapping you?”

“I lost count after the first week together. We can ask FRIDAY when we get back to New York.”

They fell into a companionable silence after that, one that was far better than the one prior. The tranquil sounds weren’t so maddening with Bucky’s touch anchoring him, reminding him that even if he wasn’t in the city, he wasn’t a hundred percent without tech. The sounds of the gears and metal moving within Bucky’s arm as Bucky rubbed Tony’s wrist were more faint than the machines in Tony’s workshop, it but still provided Tony just the right level of familiarity.

“ _Bucky was the best_ ,” Steve’s words replayed in Tony’s mind. Tony was starting to think that maybe Steve hadn’t just been exaggerating about his best friend.

Bucky whistled appreciatively as the neared the cluster of trees. “You think that’s enough?”

Vines everywhere. So many vines, Tony could easily build more than what they’d need to survive on the island.

“Got a knife?” Tony asked.

Bucky scoffed. “Do I have a knife, he asks?” Bucky pulled out the knife strapped to his thigh.

Tony grinned. “Aw, babe, you know I asked just so you could show off, right?”

“Don’t you know how to treat a fella.” Bucky released Tony’s wrist and blew a kiss at Tony.

Tony faked a delighted gasp and cupped his face. “Oh my god, Bucky Barnes just blew me a kiss. This is so going in my diary when I get home. I’m also posting it on all of my social media accounts.”

“How about you help me figure how much of this crap I should hack off, and then you can daydream about all the scandals you plan to cause once you’re back in civilization?”

“God, you’re such an old man, Barnes. No fun at all.” Tony stuck out his tongue as he strolled past Bucky and examined the vines closest to him. Some vines were as thick as his arm and others were as thin as rose stems. Perfect. He could use the thick vines for anything that needed to hold a lot of weight, and the thin one could be used for binding things together.

Bucky sidled up close to Tony, and Tony explained to Bucky how much length he’d need of each vine cut, how many vines he’d need of each thickness, and which vines not to cut because they showed signs of damage. Bucky nodded along and repeated enough key phrases that Tony knew Bucky understood. Tony then set about gathering palm leaves, “because someone didn’t gather them as we walked like I told them to do,” Tony hollered over his shoulder.

“I was distracted, and I wasn’t the only one,” Bucky shouted back.

Really? What a smartass.

It was why Tony liked Bucky, even if Bucky got under his skin sometimes.

Tony whistled and hummed to himself as he gathered palm leaves and branches for their soon to be shelter.

Just short of an hour later, Tony and Bucky had gathered enough materials that Tony was positive he could build them an excellent and safe place to sleep for the evening.

He just needed a location with some better trees for what he had planned.

Tony scouted the nearby area and found a tree with branches that were high enough that it would be difficult to climb, but low enough Tony could still get to the branches with some assistance.

Or Bucky could.

“So if I boost you up, do you think you can use those amazing survival skills to reach the lowest branch and then keep climbing?” Tony ran his palms over the tree’s trunk, feeling the texture and sturdiness of tree.

Bucky didn’t answer.

Tony frowned and looked over his shoulder.

Bucky’s Winter Soldier face was on.

Tony’s throat went dry. “Bucky?”

Bucky pointed at the tree directly behind the one Tony was touching.

Tony tried not to think about the many jump scares in many horror films that started similarly.

He craned his head around the tree.

Four massive, jagged, claw marks scarred the farther tree.

 _Shit!_ A list of every species of animal with claws ran through Tony’s head, and none of them were large enough to leave a mark at the correct height of the claws’ topmost point, or embedded themselves that deeply into the wood—and the marks did go deep. Whatever the creature was, it certainly wasn’t anything natural, and with claws like that, it had to be a predator.

A predator designed to take down big prey, like humans.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony spun and around and ran at Bucky. He seized Bucky’s wrist and tugged. He needed to get Bucky somewhere safe where either the predator couldn’t reach Bucky or a place where Tony could block the creature while Bucky ran and hid.

Tony yelped when Bucky remained in his spot, and Tony was yanked back by his momentum. He fell on his ass.

Tony sputtered and rolled onto his knees. “We need to get out of here.” He grabbed Bucky’s hand and tugged himself up.

Bucky squinted at the claw marks.

Tony shook him. “Bucky babe, listen to me—or Solider, whoever the hell I am dealing with—we need to get out of here and to safety. I don’t know if either of you are familiar with Jurassic Park, but I for one do not want to be dinosaur chow.”

Bucky cocked his head to the side. “I suppose the marks are big enough for one of the smaller dinosaurs, but not for something like a T-rex,” Bucky’s voice lacked emotion.

Bucky shifted the weight of the vines he’d wrapped around his shoulder. Bucky and Tony had left most of the materials near the trees with vines so they could travel easier while searching for shelter, but Bucky had brought some vines so Tony could start working while Bucky fetched the supplies, once they found a location.

Bucky moved toward the tree.

Without thinking, Tony threw himself at Bucky. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s limbs and torso and pushed back against him. “No.”

Bucky blinked. He looked down at Tony and frowned. “They’re just claw marks.”

Tony would forever be embarrassed by the moment, but he growled and pushed against Bucky harder.

Bucky tried to lift his arm, but it was pinned in place by Tony. The super serum meant Bucky could match Tony in strength; however, Bucky also worked out, which gave him an edge over Tony physically. The fact that Tony could hold Bucky in place now was purely due to adrenaline and determination.

Bucky scrunched his face. “Tony,” he softened his tone, “I need you to let go of me.”

Tony shook his head.

Bucky sucked in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and bowed his head so his forehead rested on Tony’s. “Tony, are you listening to my heartbeat? To my breathing?”

Tony nodded. Bucky’s heartbeat was perfect. So was his breathing. They had their own rhythms that formed a beautiful and restful beat, like a soft ballad. He wanted so badly to keep that ballad alive and well, and everything in the world was trying to kill it. Everything! The stupid Quinjet crashing. The stupid island. The stupid monster. Everything!

“Okay,” Bucky’s warm breath ghosted Tony’s cheeks. “Good.” Bucky took a deep breath and adjusted his head so not only their foreheads touched but so did the tips of their noses. “You’re trembling.”

He was. All of his muscles were surging with energy and a need to fight. It was actually quite painful. Tears crept into the corner of Tony’s eyes. He gritted his teeth.

“I want to hold you, Tony. You don’t have to let go of me, but could you give me enough room to let one arm out. Please?”

Tony hesitated. Bucky was tricky. Bucky might be planning something that would put him in danger.

But Bucky was also trying to help him, which was silly. It was Tony’s job to take care of Bucky, not the other way around.

Nonetheless, Tony felt compelled to give Bucky the small concession.

Slowly, Tony pulled his arm an inch away from Bucky.

It was all the space Bucky needed to slip his arm out and wrap it around Tony’s shoulders. He sunk his fingers through Tony’s hair and massaged his scalp.

The sensation was heaven. Tony sank against Bucky, his knees buckling under him.

Bucky caught Tony around the waist and eased him to the ground.

“Bucky?” Tony slurred, feeling light headed.

“It’s fine.” Bucky wiped away the two tears that had snuck out from Tony’s eyes. “You just had a very intense reaction to the claw marks.”

Tony stiffened.

Bucky cupped Tony’s cheeks and rubbed their foreheads together. “It’s okay.”

The tension in Tony’s body melted away, but he felt sick to his stomach. “No, it’s not. This island is messing with me. I need to protect and defend, and I can’t. I keep having slip ups. Maybe it’s not the island? Maybe I’m getting worse? I don’t have Steve. Oh god, Steve. What if we never find him again? He fell into the ocean like last time. Shit! He fell into the ocean. Oh fuck, that probably freaked him out so bad, and I wasn’t there to—”

“Shh,” Bucky dropped one hand from Tony’s face and used it to drag Tony closer to him, until Tony was half seated in his lap and entirely leaning on Bucky. “Steve is a big boy, he’ll be fine. You’re fine. The island may be messing with your protective instincts, but your senses haven’t gone haywire as much from what I have seen. You’re doing well, Tony. Trust me. I swear, if Natasha is on this island, she is having an equally hard time as you. She’s probably hunting everyone down as we speak.”

“Like I should be.”

“No, because you are the best builder we have. You’re going to build all of us a mansion to live in until SHIELD gets its act together and finds us. Any one of us can search for each other, but you’re the only one who can turn this shitty island into a luxury resort.”

Tony snorted in humor. “Cute. Is that the pep talk you give all the sentinels?”

“Only my favorites and the ones who build things.”

Tony smiled and let himself be held by Bucky. He knew he should climb off Bucky and let the man have his space; Bucky had said he hated hugs, but Tony felt like a cracked vase that would split under just a bit more pleasure, and Bucky was the only thing holding him together. “Sorry.”

“For?”

“I just need this a little longer.” Tony squeezed Bucky’s leg, indicating what he meant by ‘this’.

Bucky hugged Tony. “If that’s what you need, then it’s fine. Just don’t come running to me for hugs when we’re back in New York.”

“Deal.”

Tony closed his eyes and pushed away thoughts of claw marks, thoughts of the crash, and thoughts of worst case scenarios for his friends and teammates. Instead he focused on the last bit of warmth from the sun before it would set, on the steady rise and fall of Bucky’s chest, on the whirring sound of gears in Bucky’s arm mixed with the cooing of birds, and the combination of Bucky’s musk, oil, dirt, and palm trees.

His heartbeat slowed, and he felt his mind drifting. It felt like he was surrounded by clouds. Like he was flying in the sky, but was protected by something that was more encompassing than just his Iron Man armor, yet just as fitting.

Not just protected, but tethered.

Tony frowned and tried to focus on that tethering sensation, but it slipped through his grasp.

“You okay?” Bucky asked.

Tony sat up slowly. “Yeah.” Happiness and contentedness were distant but not forgotten.

“Good, because we should really try to find a place to stay for the night, but first…” Bucky untangled himself from Tony and stood up. He headed for the marred tree.

Tony felt the urge to grab Bucky’s wrist to hold him at bay, but Tony shoved it down. There was no harm in Bucky looking at the claw marks.

Bucky ran his fingers over the torn bark and frowned.

He outstretched his arm as high as it would go. He still couldn’t touch the height of the claws. “Really odd.”

“How so?”

Bucky tapped the tree. “These marks: very canine like, but too deep and too tall for any canine that I’m aware of.”

“So you think we have a super dog on the island?” Tony half-joked.

“I don’t know. This island isn’t conducive to most canines, and as I said, the height and depth of the marks don’t fit.”

“Just the shape.”

Bucky nodded.

“Okay, well then, at least we know for a fact that we aren’t dealing with dinosaurs. We’re just dealing with dogs.” Tony chuckled. “Fifty dollars says it’s werewolves.”

“Stranger things have happened,” Bucky answered. He parted from the tree and returned to Tony’s side.

He reached down and helped Tony up.

“Great, so let’s hightail it out of here before Fido shows up looking for a bone and all he finds is us. I don’t even want to be a chew toy for a regular sized dog, let alone Clifford.”

“Clifford?” Bucky asked.

Tony groaned. “Right, probably not one of the more in demand things to know about this century. Basically, big, red dog that’s supposed to be friendly, but is kind of an asshole, considering how often he squashes things.”

“I feel like I am still missing something.”

“He’s a children’s book character.”

“That makes more sense.”

Tony and Bucky wandered the jungle, but despite Tony’s deep desire to get as far away as physically possible from the claw marks, with their need to keep close to their water source and daylight fading away, Tony and Bucky were forced to make camp only a twenty minute walk away from where they’d found the claw marks.

The rest of the afternoon was spent rigging up two ropes and harnesses to a tree, followed by Tony weaving together the vines and palm leaves to create a large blanket that Bucky and Tony could huddle under for warmth. Bucky fetched the materials left behind and brought them to Tony so he could get his work done.

Bucky then wandered off to clean his guns of saltwater.

Tony gnawed on his bottom lip as he sewed a thin vine through the thick leaves of his blanket.

He didn’t like Bucky being faraway, but he knew more than ever, Bucky’s weapons needed to be fully operational, and while one or two of his guns might have been safe to use without cleaning them, banking on that possibility was an unnecessary risk. Nonetheless, Tony’s nerves were frazzled after everything he’d been through, and he’d appreciate it if Bucky would return sooner rather than later.

Fuck, Tony felt so pathetic.

Tony dropped his makeshift needle and dropped his head in his hands. He felt so on edge and unlike himself. Worse, he felt like one of those possessive and overprotective sentinels that couldn’t let anyone of their loved ones out of their sight for one minute.

 _Deep breaths_ , Tony reminded himself. The island was messing with him, and Bucky was right, any sentinel would be overreacting in this situation. He shouldn’t be so hard on himself; he could do that when he got back to New York and had no excuse for his behavior.

Tony closed his eyes and let his head fall back. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose then exhaled.

The fresh air tasted so good and did marvels for his brain, sweeping away his negative thoughts.

Tony sucked in another breath and let it go.

He sucked in a third but stopped as smoke teased his nostrils and tastebuds.

Tony’s eyes flew open. He straightened and swiveled his head, searching for the source of the taste and smell.

He couldn’t see anything though. The trees were blocking out any billows of smoke that would giveaway the location of the source.

Tony sniffed.

It took him a few tries, but he was able to locate the direction of the smoke.

Smoke meant fire, and unless lightning or some other force of nature had struck and created a blaze, the most likely source of the smell was human.

One moment Tony felt in control, the next he was tearing through the jungle like he was back at MIT and running away from cops who would arrest him for underage drinking and use of illegal drugs. The difference was, instead him dashing and leaping over obstacles in his path to get away from danger, Tony was running toward it, or at least the fifty percent chance of danger.

Fire meant humans. Humans meant one or more of his friends, or perhaps the crazy son of bitch who’d built that stupid rock wall. Either way, he had to check it out. If it was one of his friends, he had to bring them to his hideaway with Bucky, and if it was an enemy or just some island recluse, Tony needed to spy on them and discover just how much of a threat they were.

Tony followed the scent, going upstream and west at a pace that sent his heart pounding and his breath racing.

He didn’t know how long he ran before a strong gust blasted Tony in the face with a mouthful of the smoke’s smell and a tinge of something else familiar.

Tony rolled the familiar scent around in his head until he paired it with Sam’s: a crisp smell that carried faint traces of cinnamon and black coffee. The cinnamon and coffee tinge might have been weaker than normal, but Tony knew in his gut that it was Sam.

His heart and stomach lurched with hope. He picked up his pace.

Something leaped out at Tony from the left.

Tony spun out of the figure’s way and threw a punch at it.

Bucky caught Tony’s wrist in his metal hand. He ground his heels in the dirt and gritted his teeth. “Tony—”

“It’s Sam. He made a fire and—”

Was that an engine Tony heard?

Tony’s head snapped toward the sound. “Do you hear that?”

Bucky cocked his head to the side. He reached for the gun strapped to his back and took off the safety. “It’s getting closer.”

“You think Sam managed to find himself a car and is coming toward us?” Tony held out his hand for a weapon.

Bucky relinquished one of his spare pistols. “Doubtful.”

Tony’s fingers curled around the pistol’s grip. “Probably not SHIELD either, with our luck.”

Bucky shrugged. “You can always hope.”

“Just like I can hope it’s a friendly coconut farmer coming to invite us to dinner.”

“Business must suck. I haven’t seen one coconut tree.”

“A true pity.”

“I’m gonna kick your ass for running away, by the way.”

“Duly noted.”

Bucky grabbed Tony’s arm and had him duck behind a tree for cover.

The sound of the engine grew louder. Tony heard the heartbeats of the four people driving the vehicle. There was a sound of a gun being loaded.

Tony tightened his grip on his pistol.

In the back of his head, a voice worried about Sam, but Tony pushed it down. He didn’t have an exact location on either Sam or the approaching vehicle. If he were to run out there now—

Except based on the trajectory of the sound and the direction of the wind. The vehicle was headed toward the general vicinity of Sam.

“Bucky,” Tony warned as his body tensed.

“Control it,” Bucky whispered. He waved his hand in the direction of Sam and nodded.

They crept through the jungle, doing their best not to alert whoever was driving the vehicle of their presence.

The engine sounds died down.

The silence that followed put Tony on edge. His muscles coiled and his teeth pressed together until they ached from the tension.

Tony flinched at the sound of a trigger, the release of pressure, and a gasp of surprise.

“Son of a—”

Sam’s voice cut off as a body hit the ground.

The sounds of people hurrying toward Sam propelled Tony forward.

Tony launched himself over a tree and fired a bullet right through the shoulder of one of the men picking up Sam’s unconscious body. The man cried out in pain and dropped Sam.

Bullets flew and Tony dropped down to the ground, just barely dodging the bullets.

Bucky popped out from behind the fallen tree and shot one man in the knee.

Tony aimed his pistol at one of the two men who had been standing by while the others tried to take Sam, but Tony was too slow. One of the men charged at Tony with the speed and strength that belonged to a sentinel.

Tony gritted his teeth as he was flung into Bucky, and the two of them were knocked down.

The men shouted in German.

Tony flipped onto his knees, only to see the sentinel who’d thrown him aim a gun at Bucky, who was still trying to right himself after their fall.

Tony hurled himself at Bucky and rolled with him out of the shot of bullet.

One of the four men fled into the jungle.

Tony tried to pull away from Bucky again, but the sentinel moved to fire again, and once more Tony had to roll him and Bucky to safety, only dodging the bullet because Tony saw the muscles of the man’s finger twinge just before he pulled on the trigger.

Tony lifted his pistol to try and get a shot in, but the sentinel fired first.

This time Bucky was the one who rolled them to safety, but unlike Tony who kept them in a heap of limbs on the ground, Bucky maneuvered them so that he straddled Tony and fired at the sentinel.

The sentinel dodged, but Bucky clipped his shoulder.

Tony cursed. The one thing he hated about gunfights with other sentinels; unlike the average guide, a properly trained sentinel could dodge bullets. Their quicker reaction times and ability to follow their opponents’ minute muscle movements gave them the extra seconds needed to make such a feat possible.

The sentinel showed no signs of being fazed by his injury as he fired at Bucky and Tony.

Bucky rolled them.

Tony was on top of Bucky. He pushed himself up to shoot, but in the time it took him to raise his gun, the sentinel had produced a grenade and yanked out its pin.

Everything moved in slow motion.

Tony dropped fully on top of Bucky and shielded Bucky’s head as he continuously rolled them across the jungle floor—there was no time to get up and run.

He heard the grenade fly through the air and land on the ground just as the engine of a vehicle roared to life.

Tony rolled and rolled them some more, relieved to get out of the five foot blast radius of the grenade, but terrified of the shrapnel that they were still in range of.

The ground sloped downward, giving Tony and Bucky enough momentum to get more distance between them and shrapnel. He swung them around so a tree covered them partially, and hoped for the best as the heat of the explosion licked his skin and the sound deafened his ears.

Tony shuddered. He was back in Afghanistan, at the very moment when he was left lying on the ground with a bunch of holes in his chest and the knowledge that the probability of him surviving the injuries was less than five-percent.

Tires shrieked and Bucky sat up, taking Tony with him.

Bucky was shouting and running his hands up and down Tony’s frame, but Tony only heard Bucky’s rapid heartbeat. Rancid terror poured off of Bucky, churning Tony’s stomach.

Then suddenly, Bucky’s heartbeat slowed and the odor of fear weakened. He held Tony’s wrist loosely in his grip. “You’re fine.” Bucky sounded relieved.

The words snapped Tony out of his reverie. “Sam!”

Bucky cursed, and together they launched up and stumbled through the fallen trees and loosened dirt to where they had last seen Sam.

Sam was gone and so were the men. All that was left was the small campfire Sam must have made, and a set of tire tracks.

Tony cursed and stumbled toward the tracks.

“Hold it,” Bucky said, sucking in deep breaths of air. “We almost got killed by a grenade. Let’s take minute to get our bearings.”

Tony scowled. “Sam is—”

“In trouble, I know. But we’re not going to do much good chasing after him if we’re out of breath and running on the last bits of adrenaline.”

Tony sucked in a deep lungful of air and shoved down his panic. Bucky was right again, but damn it, he felt like a caged animal. He needed to chase after Sam.

“HYDRA,” Bucky huffed.

“What?” Tony asked, his curiosity overpowering his instincts.

Bucky closed his eyes and took two more calming breaths. “HYDRA. They were missing the uniforms, but I would bet my ass that’s who we are dealing with.”

“You shouldn’t bet your ass; it’s a nice one, and you don’t want to risk someone undeserving getting their hands on it.”

A short laugh escaped Bucky. “Checkin’ out my ass, Tony?”

“I check out everyone’s at some point or another.”

Bucky chuckled. “So where do I rank on the nice ass spectrum?”

“Well, that depends on what category. All around though, Steve and I have you beat.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Figures you’d put yourself at the top. Anyway, HYDRA.”

“Not gonna lie, I just don’t picture them as the tropical island types.”

“How about the isolated types? Or how about the fact that before we were attacked, we’d stormed a HYDRA base? We weren’t able to capture any of the agents who fled. It’s possible they reported back to their superiors, learned our flight path, and intercepted us.”

“That seems more like them, yes. Still, even for them this island is a little too remote. They usually like to have at least one small village around to terrorize. Do you think HYDRA has a base where their followers’ families stay?”

“They certainly have a base, but I don’t think it’s for their families.”

“Didn’t think so.” Tony crouched and examined the tire tracks, trying to determine what kind of vehicle the HYDRA agents had with them based on the marks left behind. “So storm the base and save our baby falcon?”

“Yes, but not right this moment. We have no idea if they are even taking Sam to a base or a temporary holding cell until they decide what to do with him. We have no idea how many of them there are, and what kind of weapons they have.”

Tony gestured at the tracks. “Which is why we follow their trail, see where they’ve taken Sam, and then sneak our way inside to save Sam.”

“They’re going to be on the lookout for us. We need a better plan.”

“And what if their base is mobile? Or what if where they are taking Sam is? If we wait too long, any HYDRA agents on the island will go into hiding and take Sam with them.”

“I know.” Bucky cursed in Russian and kicked the dirt at his feet. “We can’t go running in there half-cocked either though.”

Tony could see the internal debate on Bucky’s face, and knew it equaled his own. Both of them wanted to save Sam, and both of them knew they had to go about their rescue mission in a smart manner, but emotions were high and neither one of them was operating under the best mental or physical conditions.

“Let’s at least follow the tracks for a bit, see if we can find any clues about why HYDRA is on this island in the first place. If we find a base…” Tony trailed off, his throat going dry.

Bucky eyed Tony, analyzing him in milliseconds. He nodded. “I’ll hold you back, keep you from storming the front gates like a maniac.”

“You sure you can do it?” Tony’s gaze fell on Bucky’s flesh arm. “If this is anything like what happened when Sam got shot down, I’m going to fight you with everything I got.”

Bucky scoffed. “Please, you were feral then, but you could have done a lot more damage.”

The confession halted all of Tony’s thoughts. “Really?” his voice was almost as croak-sounding as it been when he’d woken on the island.

Bucky nodded. “Trust me, if you were giving it your all back then, you would have done a lot more harm to me and the others. The fact that I’m the only one who was injured says a lot.”

It was such a relief to hear, Tony had to stop himself from getting emotional and hugging Bucky.

Bucky frowned. The expression wasn’t aimed at Tony, but at the purple, pink, and orange sky.

Darkness would fall within the hour, which meant if Bucky and Tony followed the tracks they’d be doing it by moonlight. Their enhanced senses would help them navigate their way through the dark, but their vision would be greatly diminished. Now would be the worst time for them to wander the island.

Bucky holstered his gun and marched along the trail.

Tony let out a sigh of relief; he’d been worried Bucky would change his mind about following the trail.

They kept quiet as they moved. Neither wanted to risk being overheard.

About ten minutes before total darkness, a howl pierced the sky.

Bucky and Tony stopped and shared looks of surprise and worry.

That sounded like a wolf.

The urge to crack a joke was overwhelming, but Tony bit the tip of his tongue to keep himself silent.

A round of howls flooded the air.

Tony’s shoulder blades rammed together. “Doesn’t that just sound ominous.” Damn, his sarcasm had leaked out. Nervous habits: always the hardest habits to break. Besides drug and alcohol addictions, but that went without saying.

Bucky removed his gun from its holster, but didn’t aim it just yet. He slowly walked toward Tony, minutely turning himself along the way so his back was to Tony’s by the time he reached him.

Tony held up his gun.

“Got a bad feeling about this.”

“Well, guides are supposed to be the intuitive ones.”

“Claw marks, Tony.”

Tony shuddered at the memory. He’d already made the connection between the claw marks and the howls, but he had refused to seriously think about the hellhounds that roamed the island.

“We should retreat toward camp, and use those harnesses you made to get to safety.”

“Or we could shoot the overgrown mutts if they come near us.”

“Sure, and then we’ll have only knives when we face HYDRA.”

“Good point.” Tony lowered his pistol just a few centimeters, but couldn’t bring himself to move back they way they’d come. He didn’t want to abandon Sam. His entire being protested such a thing, but he also knew that whatever those canines were, they weren’t natural, and since HYDRA was on the island, Tony would bet SI’s annual profits that HYDRA had something to do with the wolves. He could only hope that meant that Sam was safe from getting attacked by one of the large creatures.

Then again, maybe HYDRA had captured Sam to make him doggy chow?

And now Tony was envisioning Sam getting torn to shreds like jerky.

Bucky tugged Tony toward camp. “C’mon. Just keep reminding yourself that we can’t save anyone if we get severely mauled or killed.”

“Doing that.” Tony fingers twitched. He wiggled out of Bucky’s grip, which earned him a suspicious side-glance from Bucky.

Tony linked his arm with Bucky’s and squeezed. Strategically, linking their arms was a terrible idea. They’d have to waste precious seconds untangling themselves if enemies showed up. Tony needed the extra contact though. He needed it to reaffirm that Bucky was there, and that at least one of Tony’s friends was safe.

Something thundered toward them, and Tony had a sinking feeling it wasn’t Thor.

Bucky looked behind them where the sound was coming from.

Tony took off in the opposite direction of the sound, tugging Bucky along with him.

Judging by the volume of the noise and its steady increase, the wolf would be on top of them before they could reach the safety of their camp.

Tony scanned the area for trees that could support their weight and low hanging branches to climb.

He cussed when he saw only high branches. Even if the trees could support their weight, they’d never be able to scale them.

Tony wished he had his armor. He’d fly Bucky onto one of those branches in a heartbeat. Hell, he’d go blast the damn wolf monstrosity in the face if he had his suit. He hated that he needed to run from what was probably just some horrible creature with a brain smaller than a Dodo bird’s that HYDRA had cooked up in a lab somewhere.

A massive creature that easily ripped through trees, boulders, and bushes by the sounds of it.

A cold sweat broke out across Tony’s skin.

A second set of thundering feet came from Tony’s left.

Bucky and Tony cursed simultaneously.

Judging on the sounds’ locations, the two wolves would intersect right on top of Bucky and Tony in just a minute or so, if they kept going in the same direction.

Tony turned to weave out of the path of the second wolf, but Bucky dragged him down the same path they had been taking.

“If they hunt like real wolves, then there is a third over there somewhere and they’ll herd us into a corner.”

“They’re herding us now,” Tony huffed, as he avoided a bush.

By dodging the bush, Tony’s foot landed on a loose rock and he fell face-first on the ground.

Bucky skidded to a halt then ran back. He stood over Tony and aimed his gun in the direction of the first wolf.

Tony pushed himself to his knees in time to hear the bone-chilling howl just meters away from them.

He whirled.

A wolf-like creature, twice the size of a man and stood on two feet, emerged from the greenery. Drool dribbled from its massive maw, while claws longer than Tony’s fingers crunched and shredded innocent branches that got in the creature’s way. The creatures ears pressed against its skull as it snarled and glared at Bucky and Tony with its blood red eyes.

 _Holy fuck_! Tony had guessed right about werewolves? Had someone slipped acid into his water?

The creature lunged, and Bucky shot.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short, but next chapter should be coming soon.

The bullet lodged itself into the wolf’s chest.

The werewolf faltered mid-lunge and stumbled to a halt. Its ears pressed flat on its head, and a low growl vibrated through its being. It snapped its jaws and charged.

Bucky fired again as Tony pushed down his panic and rose to his feet. “It’s a fucking werewolf, Bucky. Unless you got silver bullets, it’s not going down.” Even as he shouted about the futility of their guns, Tony shot off a round as he seized Bucky’s wrist and dragged him away from the werewolf.

Tony didn’t see where the bullet landed. He didn’t care just as long as it hit the werewolf and slowed it down long enough that Tony could get Bucky to safety.

The werewolf howled and two more howls pierced the night.

Tony shuddered.

One of those extra howls was way too close for comfort.

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand to get his attention. He picked up his pace so they were shoulder to shoulder. “You know what to do when you’re surrounded by multiple enemies stronger than you, right?”

“Run?” Tony quipped even as his heart beat so fast that even for a humming bird it’d be borderline heart attack.

“Nah, that’s what you do when there is only one.”

“Oh really?” They shouldn’t be joking with each other. The werewolf was on their tails. The ground was being ripped asunder by the werewolf behind them, and the werewolf Tony had heard from the left was rapidly approaching too.

“Duck!” Bucky threw Tony to the ground, going down with him. He shielded Tony’s head with his arm as the werewolf behind them soared through the air, all teeth and claws.

Just as it was over them, werewolf number two flew in from the left and crashed into werewolf one.

The two tore into each other mercilessly.

Bucky leaped to his feet, taking Tony with him. “Turn your opponents against each other.” Bucky whapped Tony on the thigh, urging him to continue running.

Tony did not need encouragement.

The snarls and plaintive yelps of the wolves echoed in Tony’s ears. He gritted his teeth and shoved Bucky in front of him, determined to act as a last line of defense if and when the wolves stopped attacking each other and went after their original prey.

Bucky and Tony managed to cover quite a bit of distance—the sounds of the fight became faint hauntings—but just as the tiniest spark of hope lit up in Tony’s chest, a new set of thundering feet doused that fragile emotion.

The third werewolf had come after them now.

Camp wasn’t much farther. If they could just close that agonizing distance, they’d have access to the vine ropes and harnesses he’d created, and they would be able to get into the high branches of the tree.

Granted, that wouldn’t mean much if the werewolves clawed the tree down, but optimism was what he needed right now.

The whole time they’d been running, Tony had white knuckled Bucky’s hand, refusing to lose him, and Bucky held on just as tight.

Tony's heart skipped a beat when Bucky uncurled his fingers.

“We can throw it off by separating.”

“Are you crazy? We have a better chance fighting it if we stick together.”

“I’m not saying we go far, just enough distance that it can’t get both of us at once. I’m going to weave out and then back into you. Just keep running straight.”

Tony clenched his fist harder than he’d normally dare on another human being—the grip could crack bones. He growled just like the werewolves. “You are not going anywhere near danger, you hear me?”

Bucky whipped his head around to look at Tony and cursed.

The third werewolf was closing in, but they were just paces away from the tree with their ropes and harnesses; it didn’t take super-sight to see their goal.

Bucky picked up their pace.

Tony moved faster than he ever had before, and in seconds they covered the distance.

Tony tried to dress Bucky in his harness and rope, but Bucky batted him away and demanded that Tony put on his own.

Tony grumbled, but obeyed.

He wouldn’t be the first to climb the tree though.

In the span of just a second, the two looked at each other, and Bucky’s jaw clenched. His fingers curled in frustration and annoyance at the steely glare of determination and refusal from Tony. Bucky had to get up to safety first or else they were both staying on the ground and becoming dog chow.

Bucky tugged on the rope and began his ascent.

Tony followed as speedily as possible.

Bucky climbed the tree so fast and easily that pride and envy warred in Tony’s chest. Even with the help of his makeshift rope, he was not climbing the tree fast enough.

There was a loud snarl, and Tony yanked his leg up just in time to avoid getting it ripped off by the cruel claws of werewolf number three.

Bucky, who had just reached the first of the high branches, whirled, and caught sight of the werewolf.

Tony yelped and swung out from the tree and over to the side to avoid another attack.

Tony winced at the large and jagged claw marks left behind.

The wolf growled and hunched on the ground, its red eyes piercing Tony.

Tony fumbled with his gun.

The werewolf jumped.

Bucky leaped.

The two collided.

Bucky wrapped his legs around the werewolf’s neck like he was doing his best Natasha battle impersonation. Bucky yanked out two knives from their sheaths and stabbed them into the werewolf’s skull.

A cross between a yelp and a howl escaped the werewolf. He bucked and shook his head, desperate to dislodge, Bucky.

Except Tony wasn’t so sure how much of Bucky was actually present.

Bucky eyes were dead, and his movements were quick and efficient, even against a creature twice his size that was designed to rip him part.

Tony was frozen, torn between instinct and horrified fascination. He should be the one fighting the werewolf, or at least helping Bucky take down the beast, but he couldn’t. He didn’t have the same fighting skills Bucky had, and if he were to use his gun now, he might hit Bucky. So he was forced to swing from the tree and watch helplessly as the Winter Soldier maneuvered out of the werewolf’s reach each time it tried to swipe at him, and how with each movement he stabbed the wolf once again, until blood was pouring down the creature’s skull and back.

With a pitiful whine, the werewolf hunkered low to the ground.

The soldier stabbed it one more time.

With a yelp of pain, the werewolf sprinted away from the tree, unwittingly taking the solider with it.

The soldier rolled off the werewolf and watched it run away.

Tony breathed short and shallow, his heart fluttering. His body had run cold with fright and his mind had gone blank except for his roaring hindbrain, which was not pleased with him at all.

Slowly, Winter Soldier straightened and faced Tony.

For just a second the solider stared at Tony, then with a blink, life was back in those dead eyes and Bucky was running to the tree. “Are you okay?” Bucky craned his head back so he could look up at Tony.

Like a rubber band pulled back too much, Tony snapped.

He scowled, all fright and panic leaving him. He yanked and adjusted the rope so he slid down the tree and was face to face with Bucky. “What the hell, Barnes! You could have gotten killed.”

“So could have you if I hadn’t done something,” Bucky kept his voice level, but there was a hint of irritation in his tone.

“That’s not the point! I’m the sentinel, I’m supposed to protect you and everyone else, and if I can’t do that then…” Tony bit the tip his tongue to keep himself from completing that sentence. Saying he deserved to die if he couldn’t protect his friends, would only be interpreted as him admitting to being suicidal, which wasn’t true. He just knew his value. If couldn’t do the one thing he was designed to do, then he was a defect, and he deserved to be thrown out or destroyed.

“You’re the sentinel,” Bucky repeated, tone deadpan, but his eyes full of fire and anger. “You’re right. You are a sentinel, but that doesn’t mean you’re infallible, and it also doesn’t give you the right to fucking tell me that I was wrong for saving you, when you know between the two of us, I’m the one with the most training and expertise in combat. Until we get our hands on some tech or a weapon that you’d be better equipped to handle than me, if any of us should be taking a risk to keep the other safe, it’s me.”

Tony groaned, his head pounding. “That’s not what I meant.” God it felt like his skull was about to burst. “You’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. It’s just—” Tony hissed and touched his temple as a sharp pain speared his brain.

Bucky pushed away Tony’s hand from his head and replaced it with his own, the cool metal doing marvels for Tony’s pain.

The reprieve from their building shouting match also helped.

Bucky framed Tony’s face with both hands and frowned as he scrutinized Tony. “We really shouldn’t be having this fight here. We should at least try to get to high ground in case the other two werewolves track us down.”

Tony nodded, his hands coming up to cup Bucky’s. He slowly removed Bucky’s palms from his face.

Bucky had left his harness on the high branch, so Tony and Bucky were forced to climb one at a time. Bucky slipped on the harness first without argument. He reached the branch within a minute and dropped the harness and rope back down to Tony.

Tony’s climb took closer to five minutes. Once they were both safely in the tree, the two climbed to higher branches to seek more cover. Once they found two thick branches side by side in the middle of the tree, they used the rope to tie themselves to the trunk to prevent falling in their sleep.

“How’s your head?” Bucky asked.

There was a faint reminder of his previous pain but nothing Tony couldn’t handle. “Better. Stress headache, I guess.”

Bucky frowned, not seeming to believe Tony’s assessment, but unable or unwilling to suggest another possibility. “So what were you trying to say before your head turned traitor and attacked you?”

Ah, right, _that_.

Tony wanted to let the subject drop. There was just no way to explain himself without coming off sounding like an asshole or revealing just what an insecure idiot he was. Normally, Tony would just talk circles around the subject to avoid it, but he was stuck in a tree with Bucky for hours and Bucky could be just as stubborn and determined as Steve when he really wanted to know something. So it was either do the dance and see if he could distract Bucky from obtaining the real answer (unlikely) or be honest (which would be painful and humiliating).

“Listen, I wasn’t trying to insult you or imply something about you earlier,” Tony stated, doing his best to be direct while still hiding his deeper thoughts on the matter. “My brain is a mess on a good day, and right now the best visual comparison for what a mess my brain is, is the aftermath of a tsunami, and that was before you jumped on that werewolf, which—as you can imagine—made it worse. Kind like a second tsunami, really. So just ignore my reaction. It’s the craziness of being a sentinel.”

Bucky was silent.

Tony sighed in a relief, thankful not to be immediately assaulted with questions or insults.

“Tony, what do you think the relationship between a guide and a sentinel is?”

And Bucky had to just go and ruin everything, didn’t he?

Tony scoffed, putting on his best act of indifference. “I would think it’s obvious.”

“Just humor me.”

And then Bucky would rip Tony a new asshole because of something Tony said or implied. Oh well, might as well get it over with. Not like Bucky could run off and leave him at the moment. “Sentinels protect. They protect everyone, including their guide. Guides offer support and stability to sentinels.”

“Tell me more.”

“What else is there to say that isn’t obvious? Sentinels have greater senses and strength, which make them excellent in combat, but those senses can also be detrimental if the sentinel focuses too much on one sense or becomes overwhelmed. Sentinels have an innate need to protect and care for others, but the degree can vary from person to person and manifest itself in different ways. For me, it’s building armor, weapons, and being Iron Man.”

Bucky nodded. “Okay, but what about guides?”

Tony frowned. He felt like he was being led into a trap.

“You don’t have to tell me what guides do in general, but I want you to tell me what guides bring into the relationship with sentinels.”

“I told you, they are the support. They’re the ones who help the sentinels.”

“You keep saying ‘help.’ What about ‘protect?’”

That …was an intriguing suggestion. “Yeah, under certain circumstances, you could say a guide protects the sentinels from themselves. If you’re one for dramatics, you could even argue guides protect sentinels from the world and all of its chaos and distractions—the things that could overwhelm a sentinel or cause them to zone out.”

Bucky scooted closer, or as close as he could considering he was on another branch and tied to the tree’s trunk. “And you see, that’s what has always bothered me with society’s view on the sentinel/guide dynamics, and it seems like while it has gotten better in some ways over the decades, it has also gotten worse. There is just so much catering to this idea that sentinels are the _only_ protectors.”

“I think I’m following you, but I have to admit, I wasn’t quite expecting the conversation to go this way.” Tony wasn’t even sure what Bucky’s goal was. Was he really having an old man moment and complaining about “the good ole days”?

Bucky reached across the space between them and grabbed Tony’s knee. “Tony, what I’m trying to say is: yes, you are a sentinel, and yes, your instinct is to protect, but when it comes to the guide and sentinel relationship, we protect each other.” He squeezed Tony’s knee. “I keep you safe, and you keep me safe: that’s what we do. That's how it was meant to be. Do you understand?”

“Yes, but—”

Bucky shook his head. “There’s no buts here, Tones. We either protect each other, or else everything falls apart. Got it?”

“That’s a nice sentiment, but that’s not going to change my reactions or instincts to when you’re in danger.”

Bucky sighed and bowed his head. He ran a hand through his hair and glared at the ground before shooting his head back up and looking Tony directly in the eye. “But you can control them. I know you can, because you know how you said you felt like you’d been hit by a second tsunami when I attacked that werewolf? Well, the feeling is mutual.”

Mutual?

Tony’s brain stuttered, and he found himself repeating the word aloud.

“Yeah, mutual. Couldn’t stand to see that werewolf almost rip your leg off, and I hate seeing you overwhelmed and distraught.” Bucky looked away and huffed. “Jeez, this got emotional.”

“You really feel that way?” Tony hated the hope and disbelief in his voice, but he couldn’t hide it; he was just too stunned to fake nonchalance.

Bucky shrugged and scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I do.”

Something wrapped around Tony tight, bear hugging him and stealing the breath from his lungs. The feeling faded, but he still felt something—a tug or pull on the back of him mind. A presence, similar to Steve’s but stronger, something he could grasp without it breaking or slipping through his fingers.

Bucky’s eye widened. Bitter and sour fear rolled off him. “Shit!”

Tony’s heart jumped; Bucky’s cursing somehow placing all of the puzzles pieces together perfectly in Tony’s mind.

They’d just formed a bond.


	5. Chapter 5

_Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!_ The only reason Tony wasn’t throwing himself off the tree was because he was tied to it, and judging by the wide eyes of terror and panic on Bucky’s face, Bucky was in much the same state of being as Tony.

Tony clamped his hand over his mouth as his thoughts raced a hundred miles a second.

Steve! Bucky! Bond? Impossible! How the fuck? Bucky was the one? "The one" sounded too romantic. Oh God, Bucky? Bucky?! Bucky’s the best; Steve had said so. Fuckin’ Steve. Where was Steve? Oh God, he was dead! No he would have sensed it. Except bond was so weak—! Fuck. He’d bonded with Bucky. Fuck, if Steve was still alive he was bonded to both of them, but one bond would fizzle out eventually, right? That was how it worked, right? But what if it didn’t? Odds and statistics, Tony needed them so bad!

Bucky put a hand to his head and hissed. “Jesus, do you have to think so fast and hard? I’m still adjusting to having you in my head, Stark. I can’t handle your emotions and thoughts right now.”

“You can hear my thoughts?” Crap, just how strong of a bond did they have? He’d heard that a really strong bond could come close to being telepathic, but—

Bucky groaned. “Calm down, Tony. I can’t actually hear your thoughts, but I can feel them, if that makes any sense to you at all.”

“Not really.”

Bucky chuckled bitterly. “Figures.”

“Okay.” Tony took a deep breath. “Okay.” Tony took another breath, feeling a lot more calm. “We just bonded. It’s no big deal. Bonds can come and go between guides and sentinels. Well, okay, maybe the going part doesn’t happen too often, but it is common enough—death, different life goals, more compatible partners, etc. The point is: this is not a big deal.”

Bucky scowled. “Tony, you’ve never bonded with anyone but Steve before, and your bond with Steve is so wimpy it makes the tree from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special look like a healthy, century-year-old red wood.”

“Wow, tell me how you really feel about my bond with Steve.”

“Just shut up for ten seconds, please?”

After everything Bucky had done for Tony when he’d been feeling overwhelmed and out of sorts? Tony could probably force himself not to talk for the hour if it would help Bucky. Ten seconds was nothing, so he kept his mouth shut and waited for Bucky’s pulse to slow down and regulate.

Bucky took a deep breath.

“Better?” Tony asked. Bucky sounded better; his heartbeat wasn’t quick with panic and his breathing was even. Although, there was something bitter and sharp about his smell.

“Yes.”

Tony sucked in his bottom lip and bit it. “You know, I’m not usually the one to say ‘we need to talk’ but I think this time it’s unavoidable.”

Bucky threw a nasty glare Tony’s way.

Tony held up his hands in defense. “Hey, I’m not crazy about it either, but as you pointed out, this is a big deal for me. Maybe you can bond with any sentinel of your choosing, but my only option in guides so far has been Steve, and…”

“Steve is going to remain your guide.”

The decision halted Tony’s brain for a second.

“What?” Tony said.

“Steve is going to remain your guide,” Bucky repeated, his voice carrying more determination. He steadfastly stared out into the jungle, like there was an enemy in the dark that he was trying to stare down.

“But Steve and I have a terrible bond. You just said so yourself. I can already tell that the one between you and me is stronger.”

“It is, but I can’t be your guide.”

Okay, Tony could admit he’d rarely toyed with the idea of Bucky being a potential guide for him in the past, especially after FRIDAY had ran the numbers and Bucky came up with only moderate potential. So despite his words, Tony wasn’t as gung-ho about their bond either, but the complete dismissal from Bucky confused and irked him. “Because of loyalty to Steve, is that it? I don’t think Steve really cares either way. He doesn’t need me.”

And neither did Bucky.

The realization lanced through Tony’s heart.

For a moment there he’d forgotten that Bucky was just like Steve. Bucky didn’t need anyone to complete or compliment him as a guide. He could be on his own, which had to be much more preferable than to be the one stuck babysitting Tony Stark.

Bucky growled. “Damn it, Tony.” Bucky placed a fist over his heart and screwed his eyes shut. “This isn’t about you. Don’t take it so personally.”

Tony flinched. That was right, he was like an open book to Bucky now, emotionally at least. It was so surreal and frightening. Surreal, because he’d never quite had that with Steve, yet with Bucky it was like Tony himself were punching Bucky in the teeth or stabbing him in the heart when he felt pain, fear, or doubt. He was completely naked and vulnerable emotionally, and it made Tony want to run, hide, and seek cover.

Bucky shuddered. He flexed his fingers like he wanted to grab a hold of something. “Just…calm down.”

“Love to babe, but this is literally life changing for me.” And also something he’d never experienced before.

Bucky didn’t say anything, just continued to look like a pissed off cat stuck in a tree next to another cat it hated.

Seriously, Tony could just imagine the ears low on the skull, the swishing tail, and the constant growl coming from Bucky if he were a cat, or one of those anime human-cat hybrids. Or perhaps a furry? Did Bucky even know what a furry was? Were there many furries back in the thirties and forties?

Bucky side-eyed Tony. “I have no idea what you’re thinking, but the emotions I’m getting off of you are making me uneasy.”

“Honestly, that’s probably a fair assessment.”

Silence descended upon them once again.

Tony whistled and nodded his head. “So… you ever going to explain why I should stick with Steve and not be your partner? Not that Steve isn’t great, but as we have already gone over multiple times, even if Steve was the love of my life and I promised myself to him for all eternity, my bond with you is stronger. I’m sure you’ve heard _somewhere_ that I’m in need of a stronger bond or else I’m going to go bat shit nuts at some point.”

“I’m aware,” Bucky snapped. “Just like you are aware that I am not capable of being anyone’s guide.”

“Well, clearly that’s not true if—”

“I can form a bond, but that doesn’t make me a good guide, Tony. There is a reason SHIELD has me marked as incompatible for anyone.”

“And SHIELD is full of idiots. Did I ever tell you about the psychological assessment they did on me? They didn’t even call in a real psychologist.”

“Tony,” Bucky’s tone dropped all anger and exasperation, and contained only seriousness. “I agree with SHIELD’s assessment. I cannot be someone’s guide.”

The statement pricked. “Even if it could save someone’s life?”

Bucky flinched.

“I’m not saying this is ideal,” Tony threw out there, “but I have to be realistic. This is my life. If Loki were to magically appear and I had a bond with him, I’d have to consider it, even if only to say no, I’d still have to consider it.”

Bucky’s fingers wrapped around one of his knives. He glared holes into his knee. “Until we get off of this island or we find Steve there is no point in discussing it. We stay alive, find our friends, fight off some HYDRA goons, and find our way home. Then we talk.”

Tony’s stomach churned with trepidation.

This wasn’t just a discussion about being bonded; it was about his life, and he didn’t want to spend the next few days or weeks wondering whether or not he’d finally found the solution to so many of his problems.

He’d already pushed enough though, and he feared one more shove might turn Bucky completely off from the idea of being bonded, so he choked down the things he wanted to say and agreed to let the topic drop.

A howl rang out.

Tony shuddered.

It was going to be a long and sleepless night.

* * *

“Are we absolutely certain that the werewolves are nocturnal?” Tony asked even as he and Bucky lowered themselves from the tree.

Bucky propelled down the last few feet between him and the ground. “They’re werewolves, right? Means they only come out at night.”

“Yes.” Tony pushed off from the trunk and closed the distance between him and the earth. “But werewolves also are only supposed to come out on full moons, which last night wasn’t. I may have joked about needing silver bullets to kill these beasts, but if they were out last night, all werewolf mythology gets thrown out the window.”

Bucky removed the harness from himself. “I didn’t see or hear them at all during the day yesterday, so until we find proof otherwise, I say we stick to exploring during the day and staying high off the ground at night.”

Tony stepped out of his harness and tossed it aside. “I already know where we’re going to explore first.”

“Sam?”

“Pfft. You need to ask?”

“No. I just like hearing your voice,” was Bucky’s sarcastic reply.

Tony blew Bucky a kiss. “Love you too, babe.”

“Aw, you make my heart melt when you say things like that.” Bucky pretended to wipe away a tear.

Tony snickered, feeling pleased and relieved to know that after last night he and Bucky could still banter.

He hadn’t wanted to come off like he was forcing Bucky to be his guide, but at the same time he couldn’t ignore the ugly truth of their situation: Bucky might be the only thing between Tony and insanity.

His stomach roiled at his deep dependence on another human being. He may have had to depend or Pepper and Steve in the past, but this was different. Even when he’d butt heads with Pepper or Steve, he knew that they’d be there. Bucky was still too much of an unknown, and it didn’t help that he’d already made his initial feelings on the matter quite clear.

Bucky touched his chest and grimaced. “That stings.”

Tony punched down his emotions and locked them away in a vault.

He was steel—strong, sturdy, and cold.

Bucky cursed in Russian. “Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“That.” Bucky pointed at Tony. “Whatever it is you’re doing right now. It’s like… it’s like…” Bucky reached up and touched the juncture between metal arm and flesh shoulder. “It’s like getting a limb ripped off.”

Surprise jolted Tony. “Really?”

Bucky sighed in relief. “Yeah. Hurts a fucking hell of a lot, and then it’s just gone, but then not quite. I can still feel you there, like a phantom limb, but you’re not really there—not fully.” Bucky growled and shoved his hand in his hair. “It’s hard to explain.”

Bucky didn’t have to explain any more though. What little he’d given was enough to make Tony internally cringe.

Bucky winced, receiving the Tony’s emotions once again. He sucked in a deep breath and shook his head. “Let’s get going. Don’t want to keep Sam waiting.”

Protectiveness swelled in Tony’s chest and he marched toward where they had last seen Sam. “Yeah, let’s go get our baby falcon back.”

The return journey to where they’d found Sam seemed to stretch on, and Tony’s stomach rose and dipped to match the wavering hopes and doubts within him. After last night, there might not be a trail left to follow, except for the ones of wreckage left behind by the werewolves.

“What does it say about our lives that while we may have been a little thrown by werewolves existing at first, within hours we have come to accept their existence?”

“We live interesting lives? Or perhaps we’re both fans of _The Wolfman_.”

“Only if it’s the original.” Knots formed in Tony’s stomach. “And now I’m thinking about the other half that comes with werewolves—the human half. I sincerely hope, we aren’t dealing with tortured souls who never wanted to be part wolf, but who now are forced to become mindless killers at night.”

Bucky frowned and bowed his head in thought. “Technically, we refer to them as werewolves because that’s what they look like in wolf form, but we don’t really know if they were once human or are human. They may just be mutated wolves.”

“Considering their build? I would say human DNA is involved somewhere in HYDRA’s Frankenstein experiment.”

“You’re mixing up your horror stories.”

“Oh, bite me, cyborg Dracula.”

Bucky snapped his teeth at Tony.

“Edward Cullen has got nothing on you.”

Bucky grunted his agreement.

They swiftly retraced their path to Sam’s last known location after that.

Some of the tension in Tony’s chest vanished when he saw the tire tracks from last night were still visible.

Bucky and Tony picked up their pace, following the trail as far as they could. A section of the trail was destroyed from the wolves’ rampage through the jungle, but after fifteen minutes of searching the general direction the path went, Tony and Bucky were able to find where the tire tracks continued beyond the wolves’ destruction.

It wasn’t even a few minutes before Tony felt a weak tug on his brain.

Tony’s heart lurched and the air flew out of his lungs.

A terrible sense of dread came over him, like he was standing alone outside and watching as a hurricane came toward him.

“Tony?” Bucky was in front of Tony. He gripped Tony’s shoulders and shook him. “What’s wrong?”

Tony opened his mouth to speak then shut it.

Bucky cupped Tony’s face and tilted Tony’s head up so their eyes met. “Tony, talk to me, please.”

Tony licked his lips and swallowed. “Steve. He’s here.”

One of Bucky’s thumbs massaged Tony’s cheek. “And why are you panicking?”

Tony shook his head. “I don’t know. I just… I have this terrible feeling.” A flame of righteous anger and a desire to attack and defend blazed through him, freeing him from his foreboding feeling. “Steve needs me.”

Bucky’s thumb paused in its ministrations.

Bucky glanced over his shoulder at the tire tracks. He snapped his gaze back toward Tony, a glint of a challenge in his eyes. “You think he’s where HYDRA took Sam?”

Tony thought about it.

Everything inside him told him that Steve was in the same direction as Sam.

“Yes.”

Bucky dropped his hands from Tony’s face. Bucky adjusted one of his holsters, so the gun’s grip hovered just under his hands. “Well then, looks like we’ll be saving more than just Falcon.”

Tony nodded. “Going to save an overgrown boy scout too.”

The tracks eventually faded, or so it meant to appear. Someone had taken the time to erase the trail, but had done a sloppy job of it. The way the dirt looked like it had been swept, leaving ridges within it that gave away that the tracks had once been there.

Tony monitored Steve’s presence in his mind as the trudged through jungle. He wasn’t getting anything from Steve—not even the bone-chilling feeling he’d experienced prior. Nonetheless, just like how he knew Steve was wherever HYDRA had taken Sam, Tony knew Steve was in trouble. With HYDRA around, that trouble had to be big, and probably lethal.

The sun beat down on them, and Tony’s swallowed his spit in an attempt to wet his dry throat. They should have gone back to the stream before they headed off on their long trek.

Tony wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead. That’s when he heard _it_.

Steve’s heartbeat.

It was so faint and a tad faster than normal, but Tony would recognize that sound anywhere.

“Something wrong?” Bucky turned to ask Tony.

Tony blinked. He looked down at himself, and realized he’d stopped walking. Tony shrugged off his moment of shock. “Steve. I can hear his heartbeat.”

Bucky frowned and cocked his head. “Other than normal jungle sounds, I hear nothing.” Bucky’s nostrils flared. “I smell something though. Fumes. We’re getting close.”

Tony nodded.

“You remember the hand signals for stealth missions?” Bucky asked.

“Mostly. Steve was rambling on, so I tuned him out.”

Bucky glared.

“What? I’m a busy man. Steve should have made it more concise.”

“You at least remember stop and go, right?”

“Yes.”

Bucky signaled Tony onward.

“Are you testing me to see if I really know my signals?” Tony asked.

Bucky viciously mimed zipping his mouth shut and pointed at Tony.

Tony huffed and rolled his eyes, but inside he preened that he was able to get under Bucky’s skin a little.

Bucky rolled his eyes and headed slightly off trail.

Tony frowned at the change in course, but shrugged it off. Bucky was the one trained in stealth—not him—so if anyone got to make the decisions when it came to breaking and entering an evil organization’s base, it was Bucky.

They moved slowly and carefully, no longer relying on the trail but on their senses.

Tony was picking up on the fumes of smoke, gas, and other chemicals that he’d been unable to before. He could also hear boot stamps and muffled voices on occasion. There was also many more heartbeats, but Steve’s stood out like a beacon.

They had to be right on top of the base, but Bucky was taking his time leading them to it.

…and Tony was barely ansty.

Tony couldn’t believe it. Twenty-four hours ago, if he had been in this position, he would have been chomping at the bit and pleading with Bucky to speed up so they could rescue their friends quicker.

He was in control of himself.

The relief was so indescribable, if he were locked away in his penthouse where no one could see, he might have actually shed a few tears.

Bucky paused. He peered at Tony, his blue eyes scrutinizing and suspicious.

Tony gestured helplessly at himself. They didn’t have any hand signals that could describe why he was probably flooding Bucky with an ocean’s worth of relief.

The suspicion slipped off his face to be replaced with mildly curiosity. For a few seconds, Bucky just stared at Tony, then returned to leading them to the base.

Minutes later, Bucky was crouched on the ground, signaling Tony to join him.

Tony did so.

Bucky pushed back the bush to reveal what Tony already knew was there based off the continuous sounds of humans, electricity, construction (of some sort), and the soft clinks, ticks, and beeps that he usually heard from labs like his own.

The HYDRA base was hideous in design—essentially a block of cement with doors and windows—but efficient. Iron fencing and barbed wire blocked out any unwanted guests. Although, considering they were on an island, Tony wondered if the fence was more to keep the werewolves out once unleashed?

…or did HYDRA even unleash them at all—did the wolves just roam the island all day and night?

Tony closed his eyes and listened for the sounds of claws, snarls, and any other noises that would indicate the werewolves were inside.

The only problem: he’d only hear those types of sounds if the wolves were just mutations and not werewolves of legend. Any real werewolf would be human right then.

With his eyes closed and his concentration on certain sounds and barred out things such as chatter and footsteps. He picked up the muffled moans and struggles from inside the base. There was also the rattling of chains and a lot of cursing.

Tony’s lips formed a thin line and his brow furrowed.

Bucky touched Tony’s elbow to get his attention.

Bucky signaled Tony to follow him.

They curbed around the base, following the island’s slop so they could be on high ground.

Bucky stopped suddenly.

Loud shouts stole Tony’s attention, He snapped his head in the direction of the window.

“We don’t appreciate false promises,” a deep male voice with a German accent filtered out through a barred window.

Tony’s eyesight zoomed in on the room, but all he saw was the back of some white coat’s head, a shadowy figure, and some heavy lab equipment.

Tony squinted. Was that some kind of laser beam canon they had in that room?

“A mere miscalculation. We’re not just dealing with an unknown power source with massive biological and neurological effects, you’re asking me to manipulate one side effect without affecting the other. It’s a delicate balance. We’ve almost got the pack mentality down so that they recognize hierarchy and work together. Once that’s completed then we can—”

The male figure stepped forward and seized the scientist by his throat and hefted the scientist off the ground. “This project was supposed to be finished weeks ago.”

The scientist gasped and grabbed the assaulter’s wrist.

A knock came from somewhere else in the room.

The man dropped the scientist, and disappeared from view.

Steve’s scent was stronger and his heartbeat louder.

Tony’s own heartbeat hastened.

The screeching sound of wheels in desperate need of lubrication pierced Tony’s ears.

The man reappeared with two female scientists, and who most likely doubled as guards, considering how much fire power both of them had strapped to their backs.

The women pushed a metal gurney into the room, passing the window only briefly, but it was just enough time for Tony to make out Steve strapped to it.

Tony lunged, only to be stopped by Bucky gripping his arm and holding him back.

Tony whirled, his mind filled with panic and a need to protect.

Bucky shook his head and stared Tony down.

Tony’s need to protect didn’t waver, but his panic died down enough to let him think and remember exactly where he was and what was at stake. He couldn’t go running in there with just a gun and determination.

The man waltzed back into view and smirked at the scientist he’d been intimidating. “We have a special specimen for you. Make it work, or tonight we’ll let him loose on you. We’ve already seen how strong a sentinel specimen becomes after affected by the stone. Imagine going up against a wolf that has the super soldier serum.”

“Y-yes, sir.” The scientist bowed his head and scampered off to work.

The air currents behind Tony moved.

Tony and Bucky whirled at once.

Thin yet strong arms wrapped around Tony and pressed him to a voluptuous chest. A hand covered his mouth.

The barely-there smell of ginger tickled Tony’s nostrils.

 _Natasha_.

Bucky, who’d drawn and knife and been poised to strike stopped short.

Tony relaxed against Natasha.

Natasha slowly removed her hand and arms away from Tony. She stepped out from behind Tony and side-eyed him, before focusing her attention on Bucky. She raised a thin eyebrow.

Bucky silently scoffed.

Tony tried not to be jealous of the easy silent communication the two had.

Natasha’s mouth curled into a teasing smile, before her expression hardened. Her eyes slid to the HYDRA base.

Her fingers and the corner of her mouth twitched.

Like Tony, her instinct to fight and protect—especially her guide—must have been tearing at her.

They needed a plan though.

Tony may have only had a cursory recon of the place, but even he could tell they were outnumbered and outgunned. Now, if he could get his hands on a few supplies though… oh yes, already he could see a hundred different ways things could play out in his favor if he just had the right tools and materials.

Bucky and Natasha did their silent communication thing, and after a few exchanges, Bucky motioned them back the way Tony and him had come.

A pang of worry hit Tony in the chest. He looked back at the window where he’d seen a glimpse of Steve. Steve’s heartbeat was steady and his breathing deep, like he was sleeping.

It rankled Tony.

If Steve was unconscious, then he couldn’t defend himself.

Natasha appeared equally torn. It wasn’t a facial expression that gave away her turmoil, but her inaction. Like Tony, she was rooted to the spot.

Bucky huffed and waved at them to move.

Natasha finally obeyed.

Tony gritted his teeth as he pried himself away from the spot.

Each step away from Steve and the others felt heavy and sluggish. Tony reminded himself why Bucky was probably retreating from the base for now: they needed to regroup and figure out what Natasha had discovered versus what they had learned. That meant talking, and since they already knew HYDRA had a few sentinels working for them, the three Avengers needed to put some distance between themselves and any potential HYDRA sentinels nearby.

Tony was thrilled when Bucky finally stopped and spun around to face Tony and Natasha.

“Nice to see you’re alive,” Bucky said to Natasha.

“Likewise.” Natasha’s eyes flickered to Tony. “I see you survived the ocean.”

“I know how to swim.”

“I know.” Two words, yet there was a heaviness to them.

Tony internally squirmed. He’d never talked about his… issues with drowning. It wasn’t something he liked to share with anyone.

He knew he shouldn’t be surprised that despite having never told anyone about it, Natasha somehow knew. She had a way of finding out people’s fears and weaknesses. Nonetheless, it made his skin crawl.

Bucky sidled closer to Tony, his chest puffed up like he was preparing for a fight. His gaze was narrowed on Natasha with displeasure.

Natasha’s lips curled downward and pursed.

The back of Bucky’s hand bumped Tony’s.

The contact was small, but it gave Tony strength that he hadn’t realized he needed. He was tempted to wrap his fingers around Bucky’s hand and squeeze, but after the other night, Tony didn’t want to push it.

He didn’t need to though.

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand for him.

Not one for huge reactions, Natasha’s eyes rounded ever so slightly before narrowing as she took in every detail about Tony and Bucky.

“So Tony and I learned that there are werewolves on the island that will happily claw and chew us to bits. What did you learn?”

Natasha didn’t answer right away, still analyzing Tony and Bucky. “So that’s what all that howling was last night, and why I heard so many gunshots.”

“And you weren’t the least bit curious to see who had fired off the gunshots?” Tony asked.

Natasha held up her wrist, showing off her Spider Bites. “Damaged. I have a couple of knives still on me, but the ocean swept away most of my weapons or damaged them beyond use. I really wasn’t interested in getting involved in a gunfight. Not when I finally found signs of Clint and Steve.”

That was a good reason.

“I’ve been scoping out the base for a few hours now. Infiltration is easy, and if it were just one of our teammates, I could get them out with ease, but rescuing all three is a bit of a challenge.”

“Even if you could save them now, it wouldn’t be the smartest plan. We’re trapped on this island, and until we have a way of getting off, HYDRA can always recapture anyone we rescue. Even ourselves,” Bucky said.

“So what you're saying is: we should take over the base and make it our own,” Tony stated.

Bucky’s head snapped toward Tony. “I did not say that.”

“I heard him say that.” Tony turned toward Natasha. “I heard him, didn’t you?” he asked. “Back me up, Romanov.”

Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Even if I did say that, how do you expect the three of us to get in? I’m the only one who still has most of their weapons, and even if I use my ammo sparingly, if I get surrounded, I can’t magically send my bullets in every direction to take out my enemies. I’d be dead or severally injured at least. Natasha is in a similar position. And you’re essentially a civilian with a gun.”

“Hey!” Tony rebuked. “I’m much better than just a plan old civilian.”

“Assuming we could reach the others, that might even the odds, but we have no idea where Clint and Sam are in that building, we don’t know the extent of HYDRA’s weapons, and HYDRA has werewolves or mutant wolves on their side.” Bucky had ticked off each reason on his fingers. “A take over would be foolish right now.”

“What if I fixed Natasha’s Spider Bites, and built us a bunch of weapons HYDRA would not see coming?”

“And where would you get the materials?”

“From HYDRA,” Tony stated like it was obvious.

The vein in Bucky’s forehead throbbed with irritation for a second, before realization appeared to have smacked him in the face.

Bucky whirled on Natasha. “Nat, could you sneak into the base and steal the supplies Tony would need?”

“Easily.”

Tony grinned toothily. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Bucky. “So…am I still not on your list of people you’d want with you in the event of a zombie apocalypse? Or do I really have to show you just how easily I can overtake an enemy base with just a few supplies lying around?”


	6. Chapter 6

Tony thought sitting in the tree with Bucky all night had been boring and anxiety-inducing, but waiting for Natasha’s return from the HYDRA base was much worse. He wasn’t just stuck with Bucky, who he wanted nothing more than to discuss their bond with (but couldn’t), but he also had to deal with the added nerves that strengthened the longer Natasha was away.

“She’s going to be fine.” Bucky was slumped against a tree with his arms across his chest and his head bowed. To some he might have looked like he’d been sleeping, but Tony had known Bucky was just resting based on his breathing patterns. “Natasha has snuck into better guarded facilities in the past.”

“Yeah, but none of them had werewolves or three of our friends trapped inside.”

“No, just four or five.”

“You know what I mean. We don’t have our comms. If things go south, she is on her own until we can come up with a new rescue plan.”

Bucky grunted. “It’s Natasha. That’s part of the reason I agreed to stay behind and not assist. She doesn’t need the help, and she can take care of herself.”

“Unlike me?” Tony knew Bucky didn’t mean it like that, but he was on edge and running on a short fuse.

“Yes.”

Tony jerked, taken aback by Bucky’s agreement.

Apparently Bucky had meant it like he had sounded.

Well… didn’t that just sting?

Bucky opened his eyes. “We just formed a bond, Tony. Neither one of us is in our right headspace.”

Tony scowled. “Now you want to talk about our bond?”

“Not really.”

A scream of frustration rose up in Tony’s throat, but he shoved it down. “You know, pushing my buttons when you didn’t have easy access to my emotions was one thing, but when you can read me like a book and know just how much you’re upsetting me, it’s not fun.”

“It’s not supposed to be fun.” Bucky adjusted his pose, and pulled his knee up to his chest.

“But you’re not supposed to use it against me.”

“I’m not. I’m choosing to ignore your emotions.”

“Oh. You are?” If that was the case, then Bucky really didn’t need access to them, did he?

Tony gathered his anger, felt it like a fireball in his grasp, the flames of fury licking his fingertips. He envisioned shoving it in the ground and burying it, suffocating it.

Bucky gasped and lurched forward, his flesh hand reaching for his metal arm. “Jesus fucking Christ, Tony! What did I say about doing that?”

“And what have I been projecting to you this whole time? I get it! You don’t want to be my guide. I’m the worst sentinel to be bonded to.”

“Why do you have to make everything about you?”

“And you just don’t want to be bonded to anyone,” Tony stated, his voice losing its edge. “You don’t, and I get it. I wouldn’t want to be committed to taking care of someone my entire life unless they were my spouse or life partner. I wish I could avoid the guide and sentinel shtick like you can, but I can’t. So just shut up and deal with it until we get off this island, or at least have time to figure out what to do.”

“I am dealing with it.” Bucky hugged his arm tight.

“Fine, so am I.” Tony made a dramatic gesture. “You ignored my emotions, so I made things easier on you and closed them off. No point in forcing you to waste your energy, right?”

“You know what? It’s my right to decide if I want to pay attention to your emotions or not. Just because I’m your guide and can feel your emotions doesn’t mean I have to pay attention to them and cater to them every second.”

“I didn’t say that’s what you had to do.”

“Yes, you did!”

A piercing headache came over Tony, and he slammed that pain down so fast, Tony didn’t have time to process the extent of it.

What he couldn’t push away was the voice in the back of his head reminding him that Bucky was his partner—his guide—and that he was supposed to be protecting Bucky, not causing him grief or pain.

God damn it, he just wasn’t made for these kind of relationships.

Everything was turning out exactly like with Steve.

Maybe he should just cut his bonds and lock himself away in an insane asylum until he died, because he just wasn’t worth the wasted space on the planet.

Bucky gasped again, but his hand flew to his heart. He breathed quick, shallow breaths. “What the hell?”

Tony ignored his instincts to comfort and check on Bucky. Instead he turned on heel and marched farther into the jungle. “Obviously, I can’t communicate with you, so you know what, I’ll keep an ear out for Natasha and come back when she returns.”

Tony only got four steps away before Bucky’s metal hand clamped around his wrist and yanked him back.

Tony’s fury boiled over. He whipped his wrist out of Bucky’s grasp.

Bucky stared, lost, angry, and confused.

Tony glared, all fury and defensiveness.

A cool breeze blew, teasing their hairs and clothes as they waited to see who would make the first move.

Bucky cursed, and broke gazes. He fingers curled at his side. “Damn it, Tony. Just… just… I need…” Bucky lifted his hands feebly, indicating a desire to hold Tony.

Tony backed away.

Bucky cussed. He grasped his skull and sucked in a sharp breath. “I wasn’t—I didn’t mean, damn it, Tony. I know you don’t want to, but it’d be easier for me to explain, if I can just have some form of physical contact.”

Tony frowned, not sure what was going on with Bucky. Hadn’t he been the one to say he wasn’t big on hugs or affection?

“Tony, please, you can yell at me later, but…” Bucky held out his arms.

Tony was of two minds. He deeply didn’t want to go near Bucky, or show any signs that he was yielding in his anger, but he also had never been one to turn his back on a friend in need if he could help it, and there was the ever-present hindbrain urging him to be more sympathetic.

Tony wrapped himself in his arms, hunched his shoulders, and trudged over to Bucky.

Bucky’s arms encircled him, and once again Tony’s emotions were at war. His bitter side hated the arms around him, but the part of him that always longed for acceptance basked in the contact. The smell of metal and oil that Bucky carried with him had always soothed Tony, even when they had first met. He loved that smell.

Bucky ran his hands over Tony’s back, loosening the muscles there with each stroke.

Tony leaned forward and rested his chin on Bucky’s shoulder. His new position put his nose close to the juncture of Bucky’s neck, giving Tony more access to that wonderful smell.

Bucky wrapped Tony up more tightly, almost lifting him off the ground. “That emotion… the one that slipped through and pierced me in the heart, how often do you feel like that?”

“Angry?” Tony asked.

Bucky shook his head. “There was frustration mixed in it, but that wasn’t the main part of it. It was defeat, acceptance, and so much self-hatred. If it hadn’t carried that same sense that all your emotions do, I would have thought it was my own.”

Tony tensed, and Bucky cupped the back of his head. He massaged the spot where skull met spine. Tony bit back a moan and relaxed against Bucky. Damn him and his sweet spot. “You weren’t supposed to feel any of that.”

“I’d say I don’t get to pick and choose what I feel from you, but I guess I already proved that I can.”

Tony punched Bucky’s shoulder. “Damn right you did.”

“So do you? Feel like that often?”

Tony shrugged. “I don’t really notice it.”

Bucky paused in his soothing ministrations.

Tony let out a sound of protest and nuzzled his nose in Bucky’s neck to get his comfort there.

“That’s not a good sign, Tony.”

“Sounds like you really shouldn’t be talking, considering you would have confused my self-hatred for your own if it weren’t for some ‘sense.’”

Bucky stiffened, and Tony threw his arms around Bucky’s waist and pulled him closer, smothering what few centimeters had existed between them, which hadn’t been many to begin with.

Bucky relaxed and rested his chin on Tony’s head. “This is why I can’t do this.”

“You’re going to have to clarify.”

Bucky sighed and dropped his arms from around Tony.

Tony hadn’t realized how warm Bucky had been keeping him until those arms disappeared from around him and a chill seeped into his skin.

Tony released Bucky so he could rub his arms for warmth.

Bucky took advantage of the moment and took two steps away from Tony. He gestured at himself. “ _This_ , Tony. I can barley handle what goes on in my own mind, and recognize my emotions for what they are, let alone control them. Just like now, there are some moments when I just can’t deal with what you’re feeling and I have to push your emotions aside. There are moments when I’m just going to be callous because that’s my mood. I’m not stable, Tony.”

“And you think I am?”

The corner of Bucky’s mouth quirked into a smirk. “If I answered honestly you’d either try to storm off again or slap me.”

“I’m kind of tempted to slap you after that answer too.”

Bucky chuckled, although it lacked energy. “It’s different though.”

“How?” Tony challenged.

“Because, you’re not in charge of my emotional well-being, but I’m in charge of yours.”

Tony opened his mouth to cry bullshit when a twig snapped from the north.

Tony whirled, placing himself between Bucky and danger, while Bucky reached for his knife and readied himself to lunge past Tony and strike their opponent.

“It’s me.” Natasha slipped out from the thicket of the jungle like a panther, a sack in her hand.

Tony and Bucky both released breaths of tension.

Tony wondered how long Natasha had been nearby and how much she had overheard.

Natasha dropped a sack of tools, tech, and wires at Tony’s feet. “Got enough?”

Tony crouched. In the center of the bag lay a gun with wires spewing out of it like guts. Tony picked it up and examined it.

“I found it discarded in one of HYDRA’s bins. Didn’t look like much, but I thought in the right hands it might be able to do some damage.”

Tony flipped the gun over and studied its inner workings.

There was a tiny power core in the gun.

Tony couldn’t be sure without performing a few tests, but it looked like HYDRA had been designing a gun with similar repulsor capabilities to Tony’s gauntlets. “I can work with this.”

“Good, because we are going to need a lot of fire power to take down their numbers.”

“Need I remind you that we took down an entire fleet of aliens on our first mission?” Tony sifted through the bag for a screwdriver.

Natasha’s lips quirked into a smile. She sauntered over to the tree where Bucky had been resting. She propped herself against the bark and slid down until she was seated on the ground.

Bucky stood behind Tony, peering over Tony’s shoulder to see what was in the bag.

Tony glanced at Bucky then at Natasha. Uncertainty had him spin the gun around in his hands as he struggled with what to do. He didn’t want to let his conversation with Bucky drop like it had, but even he had enough understanding of social norms to know the conversation they had been having wasn’t something to share in front of other people. Natasha had probably heard most of it though, so it didn’t really make a difference whether or not Tony continued the conversation. At least that’s how Tony felt about it; he didn’t know about Bucky though.

Bucky dropped down to his knees next to Tony. “Just spit it out. I thought you always spoke your mind.”

“If I always spoke my mind there would be a lot more scandals involving me.” Tony gently prodded one of the loose wires within the gun—it looked like it was still attached to the power core, and he didn’t want to risk electrocution if power was indeed still running through it. “You know that’s some hypocritical bullshit you spewed back there.”

Bucky quirked a curious eyebrow at Tony.

“You can’t say we protect each other and then a few hours later say you are the one solely responsible for the emotional aspects of our bond.”

Bucky jerked minutely, but it was enough for Tony to know Bucky had been caught off guard.

“And since we are on the topic of emotions, I was a jackass earlier. You’re right, I was trying to force my emotions on you, and when you didn’t want to deal with them, I lashed out.” Tony slowly disconnected the wire he’d been toying with and set it on the ground to use later. “So yeah, you’re not the only one who gets into moods. Honestly, it may be our emotional and mental instabilities that make us compatible.”

Bucky snorted. “God, I hope not.”

“Imagine what that would say about Steve if that were true. After all, if being unstable is the qualifier for being my guide…”

Bucky playfully shoved Tony’s shoulder. “Knock it off.”

“Hey, Steve has issues too, don’t deny it.” Tony picked up a thin screwdriver, and slowly took apart the gun. “Not that he shares much, but it’s pretty obvious.”

Bucky was quiet for a moment. “Do you two communicate at all?”

“Of course, just not about silly things like the past. Can’t change it, so why talk about it, right?”

Bucky frowned, but made no further comment.

Tony appreciated the silence, it helped him get into the right head space so he could work fast and efficiently. He could improve the gun Natasha had retrieved from the base then give it to himself or Bucky to use, depending on what other weapons he could craft. He’d also have to take a look at Natasha’s Spider Bites.

Tony created a makeshift palette and stand. He laid all the pieces of the gun on the palette, then set the power core aside on the stand to keep it off the ground. He ushered Bucky and Natasha to move farther back. Without a proper lab to test the core, he had no idea what he was messing with and any wrong maneuver could lead to an explosion.

Tony then looked over the Spider Bites to see where they were damaged. He compared what parts needed to be replaced with the items he had. In an hour he had the Spider Bites up and running again.

He preened at Natasha’s pleased smile when she tested them out.

Now he had to really look at the gun and his other pieces of scrap metal. Could he build something more efficient than a gun with the power core, or perhaps even remake his Iron Man gauntlet?

Tony sifted through the bag. He couldn’t recreate his gauntlet exactly—not without the proper tools; although, he could probably jury-rig something—Natasha had grabbed a rubber glove during her heist that he could use as a base.

“This is weird.” Bucky sat down cross-legged beside Tony.

Tony scowled and waved him away. “It’s dangerous. Go back to your spot.”

Bucky ignored him and picked up the glove. He twirled it around and slapped Tony’s knee with it. “I have never felt so focused and like I’m daydreaming at once.”

“So you came over here to hit me with a glove?” Tony snatched the glove and smacked Bucky on the knee in return.

“No, just looking for a reprieve from such a surreal feeling.”

“Reprieve?”

Bucky tapped Tony’s temple. “I may not know what you’re thinking, but I am in your headspace.”

“Oh. That bad?”

Bucky frowned. “More intense than anything. I like it actually, but even I need a break from things I like.”

Tony snorted in amusement. He hollered over his shoulder at Natasha. “You hear that, Natasha? He likes the way I think.”

“Do I need to leave you two alone?” Natasha teased.

“No, but you can take him away.” Tony pretended to push at Bucky, but really he just mimicked the motions. “Safety first and all that good stuff.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Fine.” Bucky stood up and left, but not before squeezing Tony’s shoulder.

The quick interaction pleased Tony, even if he hadn’t been happy with Bucky so close to the power core while he decided what to do with it. It was a nice little break to clear his head before he dived into creating a gauntlet substitute.

The gauntlet ate away most of the time. After spending two hours on it, Tony decided to take a break and work on weapons in case he wasn’t able to finish the gauntlet before nightfall—he was not going to make Steve and the others wait any longer than that for a rescue; not when HYDRA planned to experiment on them.

He grinned when he found little pouches of chemicals that would go “Boom” very nicely. He even had the makings for a good old fashion smoke bomb, including fuses and a couple of lighters.

Tony hummed as built his arsenal.

* * *

Tony pressed his back against one of the trees outlying the perimeter of the HYDRA facility. His battle ready hand was raised to his chest—covered in his makeshift gauntlet. A quickly fashioned utility belt hung around his waist, and his other hand drifted over the various tools and mini bombs he’d created.

He was ready for a fight.

Bucky, who was beside him, cocked his head as if he’d heard something. He flipped the knife in his hand to give it more striking power if someone came at him from his unprotected flank.

Tony listened. There were footsteps coming from that direction, but they were unrushed, and most likely behind the fence. Bucky and him should be safe, but Natasha…

There was a soft thump and the footsteps stopped.

Bucky and Tony shared a look, each expressing the same question: “Natasha?”

The Black Widow had snuck into the facility and was supposed to be slowly knocking out the patrol guards so Tony and Bucky could sneak in. Ideally, the thump had been the sound of one of the guards being taken out by Natasha and not the reverse.

Bucky and Tony waited a few minutes longer.

Fingers softly tapped out a familiar tune on the fence.

Tony and Bucky nodded at each other and dashed toward the fence.

Bucky jumped and flipped himself over the fence like an Olympic gymnast, while Tony climbed the fence with relative ease, but looked like he was struggling compared to Bucky. In just a few extra seconds though, Tony flung himself over the fence and landed in a crouch.

Bucky and Natasha hand signaled each other information.

All guards had been knocked out and any camera that could interfere with their plans was obscured by “natural” means.

Tony stepped closer to Natasha. The plan was for Bucky to incapacitate as many HYDRA agents as possible on his own while Natasha and Tony searched for the other Avengers and freed them to help with the take over. Worry gnawed at Tony. He knew Bucky was more than capable of taking care of a few HYDRA agents, but they were also on HYDRA’s home turf, and HYDRA also had werewolves/mutant wolves on their side. It wouldn’t be easy for Bucky, and Tony’s stomach churned as his brain imagined all of the worst-case scenarios.

Bucky’s eyes flickered with emotion, and his gazed roved over Tony’s body as if looking for injury. His eyes swooped up to Tony’s face and pierced him with an intense stare before Bucky turned his head away and gestured for Natasha to lead them to one of the base’s entry point.

They swiftly and easily maneuvered around the base until Natasha stopped in front of a grate in the ground. She crouched and pushed it aside then dropped into the darkness below.

Bucky followed her, and Tony slowly lowered himself into the facility, while also moving the grate back into place as much as he could before he had to just let himself drop. His landing was rough, and Bucky was there in a second, grabbing Tony’s shoulders, and making sure that Tony didn’t fall flat on his face.

Natasha jumped, grabbed the grate, and slid it shut the rest of the way.

Tony blinked as he took in their new location.

They were in a cell and surrounded by cement walls on all fronts except for a wall of rusted Iron bars that had been ripped apart by a huge, animal with claws. Fur covered the floor and the reek of animal residue assaulted Tony’s nose.

Tony covered his mouth to avoid breathing in the smell.

Natasha stepped through the break in the bars and signaled for Bucky and Tony to follow her.

They obeyed.

Tony shuddered as they walked through the eerily quiet corridor. The sounds of the HYDRA agents on other floors underscored the lack of life from the cells in the area. The only noise coming from the floor they were on was the dripping of water from broken pipes and leaks.

The trio climbed a staircase and paused in front of the door at the top. They listened for anyone approaching, then snuck out of the empty floor into a corridor that was far better lit than the one they had come from and appeared to be in use too. They stuck together as they followed the path.

Tony peeked into a few rooms via the small windows on the doors. Agents occupied the rooms and were slumbering, reading, or stretching. It was a bit of a surreal moment for Tony as he was reminded that they were going up against real human beings with human needs and desires. He shook off that feeling, though, and focused on the mission at hand.

They came to another split in the road, but this time Natasha signaled for Bucky to stay back and follow the plan. She then signed for Tony to follow her.

Tony hesitated for a millisecond. He wanted to say something to Bucky, but with other sentinels around he couldn’t risk it.

Tony turned his back on Bucky and hurried after Natasha, who had already taken off.

Tony bit the inside of his cheek as he jogged behind Natasha. He focused on his desire to wish Bucky luck, and hoped that somehow the emotion translated over well to Bucky. He also hoped that it wouldn’t feel like he was forcing his emotions on Bucky. He wanted it to be as if he’d left his journal open, and if Bucky happened to look, he’d be able to see what Tony had written down.

Natasha stopped and held up her hand.

Tony skidded to a halt.

Around the corner a group of HYDRA agents chatted amicably.

Natasha held out her hand for a smoke bomb.

Tony produced one from his belt, and a lighter too. He passed the two items over to Natasha.

Natasha peered around the corner.

She lit the fuse then rolled the smoke bomb into the hall.

The agents began to panic.

Doors from rooms nearby opened and agents spilled out to see what the commotion was all about. Natasha dove into the smoke and struck.

Tony clenched his jaw as he listened to Natasha do her thing. He even felt a spark of pride when he heard the static of her Spider Bites. He was tense and frustrated though. He wanted to join the fray, but his method of attack would draw even more attention.

Natasha returned to his side and motioned for him to move.

Natasha and Tony’s journey continued on mostly undisturbed except for the occasional patroller walking about, but Natasha was always fast and always managed to leave the agents unconscious before they could make a sound.

The real problem was that they didn't have much in the way of rope or cuffs, so as to ensure that if the agent woke up they wouldn’t get far. Tony and Natasha had lucked out with one guard having cuffs on him, and another guard they’d thrown into an empty room and jammed the lock.

Steve’s heartbeat grew louder the more they progressed. Tony could taste Steve’s scent in his mouth, but it was tainted. There was the salty smell of sweat from exertion that was also mixed with the sour flavor or fear-induced sweat. In addition there was something else—something animal-like, something that smelled just like the mutant wolves and it made Tony’s stomach drop and churn.

Natasha threw herself at Tony just as one of the walls exploded.

Tony coughed and gasped, the dust seeping into his lungs.

The smell of wolf was pungent.

Maniacal laughter poured into the corridor, accompanied by claws scrapping into cement and heavy canine breaths.

Boots pounded toward them.

Natasha jumped up and rolled out of the way asthe werewolf lunged and punched the wall right where she’d stood a moment prior.

The wolf turned its head and glared down at Tony.

Tony raised his gauntleted hand and aimed a blast at the wolf’s face.

The wolf howled as it was sent arcing across the corridor.

The maniacal laughter stopped.

The dust had cleared, and Tony could see an agent standing where the werewolf or some explosive had destroyed the wall (Tony really hoped it had been an explosive, because not even werewolves should be _that_ strong).

The agent scowled at the werewolf, which was trying to get up but Natasha was already on top of it and electro-shocking the beast unconscious.

“You know, I approve of the fact that you want to redecorate the place, but really, your methodology is just terrible.” Tony aimed a blast at the agent.

The agent ducked—sentinel.

Well, crap, Tony thought, and dodged as the sentinel came charging at him.

Five more agents turned down the corner and aimed guns at Tony.

Tony cursed under his breath and shot a blast at the group of new arrivals while also ducking to avoid a direct hit from the sentinel attacking him. Tony rolled under the sentinel’s legs at the same time he attacked the guards with his faux-repulsor. As the guards fell, Tony kicked the sentinel’s legs out from under the man and ran toward Natasha.

Natasha’s eyes widened, but she wasn’t looking at Tony, instead she was staring at the werewolf, who was actually still fully conscious and writhing under her Spider Bites.

The wolf struck out, almost ripping Natasha’s leg out from under her. She just barely jumped out of the way in time.

Tony yanked out one of his mini bombs and a lighter. He lit the fuse and dropped it next to the werewolf as he ran past, grabbing Natasha by the arm. “Cover! Cover! Cover!”

Tony ran behind the corner they had come from just as the bomb went off.

“Well, if they didn’t already know we were here, they certainly do now,” Tony said.

“They attached something to the skull of that wolf,” Natasha stated. “It looked like something that sends out electro shocks.”

“Ah, so wolfie already had a tolerance to electricity. Probably some kind of control transmitter so HYDRA can use the wolves in battle. Must be new, because I didn’t see—”

The sentinel from earlier came barreling down the hall, out for blood. Natasha got him in a chokehold and knocked him unconscious. She set the sentinel down on the ground.

“Enough talk,” Natasha commanded. “You find Steve and the others. They should be on this floor. I’ll deal with HYDRA.”

“Right.” Tony nodded, and let Natasha take the lead. He listened for Steve’s heartbeat and zeroed in on it.

He followed Natasha into the hall where the bomb had gone off. A few HYDRA agents were still standing, but Natasha took care of them quickly. The werewolf twitched on the ground but was otherwise immobile.

Tony made it to the other end of the hall and ran for it.

A HYDRA scientist peeked out from one of the labs, and Tony elbowed the man in the face as he sprinted past.

Steve’s heartbeat grew stronger, causing Tony’s own to skyrocket in anticipation.

He was faintly aware of Sam and Clint’s scents growing stronger and their heartbeats accompanying Steve’s, but his focus was all on Steve.

Other HYDRA agents and scientists appeared from hidden corridors and rooms and got in his way. Tony easily took each and every one of them down, only having to use another smoke bomb once to make a quick getaway and throw off the aim of the guards behind him.

Tony reached a reinforced door and yanked on the handle.

The metal screeched as it slid across the cement.

The scientist who Tony had spied being forced to play Frankenstein earlier sputtered in surprise and moved as if to grab something, but Tony shot off a blast from his makeshift gauntlet. The scientist fell to the ground.

“Your left!” Sam shouted, from the table he was strapped to.

Tony turned only to be pounced on by a large werewolf decked out in Captain America gear.

 _Shit,_ Tony internally screamed as the werewolf lunged for his throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for waiting patiently for this chapter. Since I wanted to finish my other chaptered Winterion fic (Bottom of the Bottle), and I needed time to prep for the Winteriron Holiday Exchange, this chapter was significantly delayed and I greatly appreciation all of you who have stuck around and continued to kudo, bookmark, and leave comments.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short. There is a reason though. A good reason. From a writing perspective.

“Sorry!” Tony shot Steve in the face with his repulsor.

Steve yelped as he was sent crashing into one of the lab tables.

“Any other werewolves I have to worry about?” Tony shouted as he tried to stand, but his balance was all off. Two heartbeats battled for his attention in his head. There was Steve’s loud, battle ready heart, and Bucky’s which was fluttering like a humming bird’s in a panic.

Clint lifted his head up from the table he was strapped down to. “Perfect timing. Only Steve’s been turned. Well, you know, besides all of the people experimented on before him.”

Steve stood up and flung the remains of the table he’d crashed into against the wall. Steve’s gray, triangular ears pushed down and he snarled, revealing a sharp set of white teeth.

Tony gulped. “Oh, Grandpa, what big teeth you have.”

Steve roared and charged at Tony, swatting at him with his arm.

Tony ducked and scurried away. “All right, all right, no old man jokes; I get it.”

Steve knocked over a tray of chemicals that began to erode the floor where they’d fallen.

_Crap._ That was not good.

Tony maneuvered himself to the right, trying to lead Steve away from the puddle of eroding chemicals.

Steve hunched his shoulders and snapped his jaw at Tony.

Tony winced and held up his faux gauntlet. “C’mon, Steve don’t make me do the whole ‘I know you’re in there’ speech. That thing is so over done by Hollywood.”

Steve raced at Tony and jumped, dropping backwards and kicking forward—it was such a human-Steve move that Tony stood there like an idiot and let Steve kick him full force in the chest.

Tony cried out as he hit the ground.

Beads of blood gathered on his chest where Steve’s hind claws had nicked him.

Tony cursed and tried to sit up, only to get four-hundred or more pounds of fur, muscles, claws, and teeth on top of him. Steve pinned Tony’s armed hand to the floor and growled.

Tony’s throat went dry and his heartbeat skyrocketed to a tempo that drowned out all noise except for the matching one several floors down.

_Bucky_.

Steve lunged. Tony tensed and cringed in anticipation of Steve’s jaws shredding apart his skin and ripping out his trachea.

A cold, wet nose pushed furiously into Tony’s neck and shoulder.

“Ah!” Tony shuddered and gritted his teeth. “Cold!”

Steve trailed his nose around Tony’s neck and sniffed the other juncture between shoulder and neck. Steve lapped at the meeting point, then nipped it playfully.

“Oh god, not this version of _Little Red Riding Hood_!”

Steve lapped at Tony’s skin some more and Tony squirmed. “Gross.”

Steve blew hot, dog breath into Tony’s face then head butted him.

It was disgusting and foul. It smelled like a garbage dump. The moment Tony got Steve home, he was going to take Steve to the vet and have the vet brush his teeth. “You mind getting up, captain wolf?”

Steve’s ears fell back at Tony’s request. He whimpered and nuzzled Tony’s chin.

“I think he likes you,” Clint hollered from the table.

“I just hope he doesn’t like me too much. As I said, I do not want this to go down like some other versions of _Little Red Riding Hood_. I’m not going to come out of this singing: ‘And he made me feel excited—well, excited and scared.’”

“Since when do you watch musicals?” Sam asked.

“Just because I don’t advertise something doesn't mean I don’t do it.” Tony wiggled under Steve. “Come on, Steve. I just want to sit up. What if I promise to pet you or something, will you get up then?”

Steve growled.

“I’m not trying to be patronizing, you asshole. I would just really like to not have my body squished under you. That is not the death I have envisioned for myself.

“Can you imagine the headlines? _Iron Man Squashed to Death by Captain America_! Also, _Captain America: Secretly a Furry?_ ”

“You know, for a man not wanting to make this a sexual thing, you keep bringing up sex,” Sam pointed out.

“I got an apex predator sitting on top of me! I am allowed to babble about whatever the hell I want, even if it’s inconsistent with my true thoughts and feelings on the matter.”

“Or it’s a Freudian slip,” Clint said.

Tony glared as best as he could at Clint and Sam with Steve blocking half his view. “Steve, eat them.”

Steve sat up straight and turned his head toward Clint and Sam. He sniffed in their direction. His hackles rose and he snarled as he pushed himself off of Tony.

“Uh, Tony, what did you do?” Clint tried to scoot farther up the table and away from Steve who was prowling closer.

Tony let loose a stream of curses as he pushed himself up and seized Steve by one of his haunches.

Steve whirled and growled into Tony’s face, casting spittle everywhere.

“Okay, first: rude. Second, no eating Clint or Sam. They’re too boney.”

“Hey!” Sam and Clint said in unison.

Tony’s intestines churned. His hands trembled. His makeshift gauntlet not only had a weaker blast, but the power unit he was using was limited to how many blasts he could shoot off before he drained it all up. By his math, Tony had about three more shots; it meant a fight with Steve would last longer than if Tony had gone in there with just bombs, but that didn’t promise him the ability to incapacitate Steve. Steve had already taken one hit and had shaken it off. At this rate, Tony would probably have to make the whole building explode before he could knock Steve unconscious.

It was a possibility that Tony could easily pull off, but since his teammates were inside the building as well, it wasn’t a real option.

Steve’s muscles loosened. His ears remained flat on his head as he studied Clint and Sam. He grumbled then snuffled Tony’s hair.

Tony sighed in relief and stroked Steve’s arm. “If you’re feeling bloodthirsty there are a bunch of HYDRA agents out there that you can beat up. Maybe even a few werewolves.” Tony pitched his voice like he was talking to a baby. “Who wants to go beat up the other werewolves? Steve does. Steve does. Isn’t that right, Steve?”

Steve glared.

Tony coughed and changed his tone to something more serious. “Will you please go out there and protect Natasha and Bucky, and fight off any other werewolves you see?”

Steve cocked his head then nodded.

He lumbered out of the door.

Tony pretended to wipe a stray tear from his eye. “My little baby, off to destroy people.”

“Tony! Save your movie references for later and get us off of these damn tables,” Clint demanded.

“Coming!” Tony raced over to Sam, just to spite Clint. He whistled in appreciation at the cuffs that started at Sam’s wrist then went up to his elbows. “This is going to take some serious work.” Tony grabbed the edges of the cuff and tried to pry it open. “Yup. Lots of work.”

“Considering they had to strap Steve to one of these, I think they can handle sentinel strength,” Sam sassed.

Tony lifted his head to look Sam in the eye as he sassed the man back, only to stop short at the three small metal transmitters attached to Sam’s skull. “Aw crap. You two wouldn’t happen to know if Steve had this fashion accessory on him?” Tony tapped the transmitter. “I was kind of a bit distracted by the whole him sitting on me thing and didn’t think to look.”

“Because HYDRA let us anywhere near him once they finished with their experiment on him?’ Sam replied.

Someone was cranky.

Tony looked to Clint.

Clint frowned. “I did see something metal on his head, but I was little too focused on trying to fight off the agents hooking me into this thing to catch what it was.” Clint wiggled his arms for show.

Tony cursed and looked around the room. His eyes landed on the corrosive chemicals on the floor.

Tony ran the math in his head. He just needed to weaken the cuffs so he could rip them off; he could do that before the chemicals ever touched Sam’s skin.

Tony ran to one of the lab tables and grabbed a large swab and swiped it across the dangerous puddle.

He ran over to the cuffs and dabbed the surface before the swab was devoured by the chemicals.

A bellowing howl sent a shiver up Tony’s spine.

Three snarls responded to the howl.

Tony grabbed another swab and repeated what he’d done with the first cuff.

He watched as the metal was slowly eaten away, and when the cuffs hand melted considerably, Tony carefully ripped them apart with easy. He helped Sam off the table, making sure Sam did not step or touch any traces the chemicals.

Tony tapped the transmitters on Sam’s head. He pushed and prodded them, trying to figure out through touch alone what kind of adhesive had been used.

Sam winced.

Tony scowled and marched over to the tables of lab equipment and picked up a screwdriver. “If I electrocute you, I’m sorry.”

Sam took a step back. “That does not fill me with confidence.”

“It’s not supposed to.” Tony cupped Sam’s face and did his best to disable the transmitters quickly and carefully. Each minute that went by felt like someone was inch by inch peeling off a thin layer of skin off his back; he couldn’t stop thinking about Steve out there with transmitters strapped to his head too.

Eventually, Tony was confident that he’s disabled all three and he released Sam’s face.

Tony unhooked his makeshift utility belt. He pointed to one type of bomb. “Smoke.” He pointed to another that he’d purposefully designed to look different. “Explosive.” He pulled out the light then put it back in its pouch. “Bucky and Natasha are out there two. We’re trying to do a take over. Go!” He shoved Sam out of the room.

Sam didn’t need to be told twice.

Tony went to Clint’s side. Clint had transmitters on his head too.

“And here I thought you had forgotten all about me.” Clint winked at Tony.

Tony wiggled the screwdriver in Clint’s face. “Cuffs first or transmitters?”

“Well, since you already have the screwdriver…”

“Ah!” Bucky gasped sharply from two floors below.

Tony straightened.

A faint cooper smell filled his nostrils.

A growl built in Tony’s throat.

His world zeroed in one what his senses could pick up from Bucky. Heavy breathing. Metal screeching under strain. Sweat. Elevated heartbeat. Blood.

Blood.

Clint pushed against his restraints. “Tony, no. I know Steve is in danger, but he is a big scary werewolf right now, and—”

“Bucky.” Tony white-knuckled the screwdriver.

“What?” Clint asked.

Tony took a step toward the door.

“Tony, no!” Bucky shouted.

Tony flinched and shook his head. He blinked, his head clearing.

He had to rescue Clint and then he could worry about Bucky.

Tony whirled on Clint with the screwdriver.

Clint yelped. “Jesus! Don’t lunge at someone just after you’ve been zoning out, and what the hell about Bucky? Did Bucky do something to Steve?”

Tony shook his head as he disabled Clint’s transmitters. “I probably shouldn’t say anything since Bucky and I never discussed how or when we would tell the team, or even if we would since… you know what? You don’t really need to know our maybe-sorta secret either, but since Natasha probably already knows and you two are the epitome of the perfect guide and sentinel pair, she’ll tell you anyway, so—”

“Holy fuck! You bonded with Bucky!”

Tony paused in his work. “Wow. You really are perceptive.”

“Are you two nuts?”

Tony flinched. “Can't be any worse than Steve and me.” He finished disabling one of the transmitters and move on to the second one.

“You and Steve would be fine if you just got your heads out of your asses.”

“You know, most people wouldn’t insult the person with a screwdriver aimed at their head.”

“I still can’t believe it.” Clint flinched and craned his head back, causing Tony to scowl in displeasure. “Shit, Nat,” Clint whispered. He glared at Tony. “Hurry up, Stark. She got hit bad.”

“Going as fast as I can.” Tony disabled the second transmitter.

Clint cringed and winced the whole time Tony worked on the third.

Clint was all but squirming by the time Tony got to work on his cuffs. Clint didn’t even wait for Tony’s help off the table once Tony tore the cuffs apart. He flipped off it and ran.

Tony took a moment to catch his breath. He put a hand over his heart and listened to—

Snarling, a lot of growling, someone taunting the Avengers.

“You wouldn’t want to hurt your dear captain would you?” The asshole who’d been threatening the lead scientist on the werewolf project hollered over the growls, bangs, and slashing.

“He can take it,” Bucky said.

Gunfire rang out.

The blood rushed to Tony’s ears, and he fell to his knees as the urge to protect and destroy rushed through him like ice cold water. He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t think properly. Bucky was attacking Steve. Bucky was attacking his guide, but Bucky was also his guide and Bucky was hurt, so he needed to protect Bucky. He needed to protect Bucky, but he needed to protect Steve. He needed to stop Bucky. He needed to stop Steve. Eliminate the threat. Destroy the threat.

Tony gasped as sharp pain lanced his brain.

Tears gather in his eyes, blurring his vision.

He took deep breaths, trying to fight off the pain. He pushed himself to his feet and immediately slipped and almost landed in the corrosive chemical puddle. He pushed himself up again and ran to the wall and caught himself on it.

The world was tilting.

He gritted his teeth and headed out of the room.

The battle had migrated to one floor.

Tony tripped and stumbled.

He looked down.

One of the werewolves lay unconscious on the ground. Claws marks slashed across its chest and blood pooled out near its skull.

Tony blinked, knowing there was something important about that, but he stumbled onward.

Two different breathing patterns. Two different heartbeats. Two very different battle sounds.

Like a busted radio signal, he heard chopped phrases, sounds of impact, and electrical charges, but just as they would break through his haze, his senses would be engulfed by Steve and Bucky.

Both were bleeding now. Both were exhausted and out of breath. Their footing was clumsy.

Tony stepped over the rumble of a fallen wall and entered the room.

Everything was in slow motion.

Clint and Sam were fighting the man who seemed to be running the place—the guy who’d been threatening pseudo Dr. Frankenstein. The two were trying to get a black box from the man. While Sam and Clint did that, Natasha and Bucky fought Steve.

Natasha attacked Steve from behind, but Steve whirled and knocked her into the wall. She fell and slumped downward.

Bucky aimed his pistol.

Tony tensed.

Protect Steve. Bucky was the threat.

Tony aimed his gauntlet at Bucky, but when Bucky pulled the trigger no bullet came out.

Horror dawned on Bucky’s face. His hand flew to his second gun.

Steve’s attention had already snapped to Bucky. He roared and launched.

Cold fear pierced Tony’s heart.

He had to protect Bucky. Steve was the threat.

Tony shot the repulsor blast.

And suddenly the frail presence of Steve that was always just in the back of Tony’s mind was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Tony’s head felt empty, and his senses dulled.

No. “Dulled” wasn’t the word. Everything was as crisp and sharp as it had always been except for Steve. Steve’s heartbeat and breathing were no longer so prominent, no longer a constant background noise. His sweet scent didn’t tease Tony’s nose like it used to—he had to focus on smelling it; it wafted around him anymore.

He saw Steve before him, but Steve was no longer _there_ like he had been.

Tony’s heart ached.

The repulsor blast hit Steve square in the chest and knocked Steve back into the ringleader of the facility.

Clint and Sam squawked as Steve and the man barreled past them.

The leader dropped the black device he’d been holding and Clint picked it up.

Clint shouted something, and Tony turned his head.

Clint motioned like he was going to toss the box to Tony.

A loud, low growl emitted stole his attention.

Tony turned his head toward the sound.

Clint shouted at Tony again, but Tony’s focus was on Steve.

Steve pulled back his lips and bared his teeth. His claws embedded themselves into the cement and tore it shreds. His muscles bugled as he hunched. His eyes pierced Tony with a fierceness that hadn’t been there before. He sniffed the air and growled again.

His ears went flat and scented the air again, sneering at Tony.

Realization hit Tony; Steve didn’t recognize him without the bond.

“Tony?” Bucky raised his voice, concerned tainting it.

Steve’s head snapped toward Bucky.

With a roar Steve attacked.

“No!” Tony charged at Steve and fired off another blast, but Steve was faster, he drew up short of the blast’s range and then continued on his path.

 _One more hit_ , Tony noted of his gauntlet. He’d get to use it one more time before it’d be useless.

Bucky had whipped out his spare gun and shot at Steve, but Steve barreled on unperturbed.

Tony threw himself at Steve’s neck and used his weight and momentum to knock Steve off his path.

Steve whirled and flung Tony off him.

Tony hit the ground and rolled into a crouch.

His fingers curled into fists as he grit his teeth.

He was going to punch Steve in the furry face if the jackass went after Bucky again.

Steve snarled.

Suddenly Bucky’s posture shifted and he holstered the gun in favor of a knife.

He marched toward Steve unafraid.

The Soldier was out.

Steve swiped at Bucky and dodged.

Tony used the distraction to run up to Steve’s flank and knee him.

Steve snarled, but before he could strike, the Solider stabbed him in the ribcage. At the same time, the Soldier pulled out a second knife and passed it to Tony.

Tony didn’t think, just grabbed and attacked Steve.

He was vaguely aware of his teammates shouting at him to stop. He felt one of them grab him, but he shrugged them off, and when they tried to grab him again, the Soldier almost cut their hand off. After that, the team kept their distance but continued to try to get Tony and the Soldier to break their concentration.

The Soldier had climbed Steve’s back and was using his legs to immobilize Steve’s arms. He pressed the barrel of his gun to Steve’s skull.

Tony slid right in front of Steve and aimed his last repulsor blast into Steve’s snapping jaw.

Natasha jumped out of nowhere and tackled Bucky off of Steve, then swiped one of Steve’s legs out from under him so he stumbled and the repulsor blast missed.

“No!” Tony shouted.

And then Natasha’s hand wrapped around Tony’s ankle. Electricity raced up Tony’s leg. Tony saw black before he hit the floor.

* * *

Tony’s mouth felt like he’d swallowed fifty cotton balls. His brain was equally fuzzy and it tickled in some places. The stale and pungent air toyed with his nostrils and made him want to gag. Luckily, the odor was also mixed with the smell of bandages, balm, and Sam’s natural scent, three smells that made it so he was able to hold the contents of his stomach down.

Tony blinked open his eyes, the corner of his pillow blocking half of his view. It didn’t matter though. Half a view was enough to tell him he was still in the Hydra facility. “Did I—” It sounded like his vocal cords had been put through a blender. Tony cleared his throat. “Did I try to kill Steve?”

“To be fair, he was trying to kill all of us,” Sam stated from somewhere near the foot of Tony’s cot.

Tony licked his lips. “Bucky… he went Soldier mode on Steve.”

“Well, his sentinel was going up against a werewolf, and said sentinel was acting particularly blood thirsty. I don’t know how strong your bond is or what kind of emotions he picks up from you, but I’m guessing you probably triggered that.”

Guilt drowned Tony. He buried his face in his pillow and wished with all his might that Thor would strike him down with a lightning bolt.

He’d not only tried to kill Steve, but he’d triggered Bucky.

He really was the worst. Maybe Bucky had been right all along? Maybe they shouldn’t be partners? Except now Tony didn’t have a bond with Steve. So unless Tony could find some way to reestablish his bond with Steve, Bucky was stuck with him.

But Steve didn’t deserve a sentinel who tried to kill him either.

Tony grimaced.

“I’m not saying you should blame yourself for what happened, Tony,” Sam spoke calmly. “No one could have predicted that you’d trigger the Winter Soldier, and Steve was going after Bucky. It’s understandable that you lost it a little. Even if you have two bonds now, you’ve been on the edge of completely losing it so many times, it’s still going to creep up on you for a while. Trust me. I’ve seen that happen to a lot sentinels on the battlefield after they’ve lost a guide and found another. It’s easier, but slip ups do happen.”

Tony didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to say anything, truthfully, but he knew this was also the moment when he needed to reveal that he’d broken his bond with Steve.

“Did we win?” Tony asked.

Sam chuckled. He patted Tony’s ankle. “Yeah, bud, we won. We got the place on lockdown, and we’ve already contacted SHIELD. In a few hours we’ll be off this island and headed back to New York.”

“Good. I was starting to miss my tech.”

“How much do you remember of the fight?” Sam asked.

Tony shrugged, and felt a bandage on his shoulder push back against the movement. “Most of it, all though it’s kind of hazy. Everything had been moving so slowly and my memory is pretty much focused on only Steve and Bucky. I know you and Clint were trying to get some device from one the agents, and Natasha got taken out of the fight for a while, but…” Tony frowned and rubbed his head, “I feel like I should know more.”

“That device you saw Clint and I fighting for was the thing that controlled the werewolves via the transmitters. Steve had taken out the other werewolves before you arrived, but once that asshole with the box arrived Steve turned on all of us. Bucky and Natasha were keeping Steve distracted while Clint and I tried to get a hold of the device. Of course once we got a hold of it, we had no idea how to operate it.”

“And I was too focused on fighting Steve and defending Bucky to be of much use,” Tony grumbled.

“Luckily, Natasha’s good with tech too. Once you and Bucky were taken out of commission, she used the control to knock Steve out. We put him in one of the reinforced rooms HYDRA built anyone they made a werewolf.”

Tony nodded.

There was a moment of silence, and Sam shifted.

Without looking at Sam Tony knew Sam was staring at him. He could feel those eyes penetrating him and searching for answers to silent questions.

“Steve’s hurt,” Sam stated.

Tony nodded.

“Bucky though… he’s really messed up.”

Tony’s stomach dropped. He pushed himself up on trembling arms, which were wrapped from wrist to elbow in bandages (he didn’t even remember Steve clawing him there). “Is he okay? Is someone taking care of him?”

Sam cursed under his breath. “You broke your bond with Steve, didn’t you?”

Tony froze, his mind replaying his conversation with Sam and picking it apart to figure out where he’d given himself away. “Steve is a big boy and a werewolf right now. He can more than take care of himself. Bucky, however, just went knife to claws with a werewolf. I think a little extra concern for Bucky is understandable.”

“Yeah.” Sam slowly nodded his head. “You know, except for the fact that Steve is a werewolf. That’s more of a big deal than a few battle scars the last time I checked.”

“Is he though?” Tony cocked his head to the side. “I mean right now? Is it nighttime? Daytime?”

“We still have a few hours until sunrise.”

Tony nodded. “So he is still furry.”

“You’re distracting me,” Sam said. “You broke your bond.” Sam sat up straighter and snapped his fingers. “That’s why Steve attacked when he hadn’t before.”

“He could have still been under HYDRA’s control,” Tony argued.

“But he wasn’t, was he?” Sam pressed.

Tony bit the inside of his cheek.

“When you came into that room Steve and Bucky were both your guides right then, and they were attacking each other,” Sam spoke slowly, puzzling out the events. “You chose to protect Bucky instead of Steve so your bond with Steve must have broken.”

“Or maybe it was just because I hit him?” Tony offered, resisting even though he knew there was no point to it; he just didn’t want to think about what had happened—about how badly he had screwed up.

“But you hit Steve in that lab, and you were still bonded to him. You chose Bucky.”

“I didn’t choose Bucky.”

“But subconsciously you must have, and since your bond with Steve has always been weaker than the average bond, that subconscious decision must have—”

“Shut up!” Tony said with more force than intended.

Sam snapped his mouth shut. He silently looked Tony over, his face tight with frustration and annoyance. “I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but this affects the whole team. This can’t be ignored.”

“It can be for now.” Tony shoved himself off the cot, his feet touching the cement floor. “I need access to HYDRA’s labs. I need to figure out how HYDRA turned Steve into a werewolf so I can reverse it. The sooner the better; otherwise, Steve is going to be locked up in Hulk’s cell until we can find a cure. Then we need to get off this island. I’ll also probably have to fill out some paperwork for SHIELD and—”

Sam clamped Tony’s shoulder. “I get it, Tony. You don’t want to talk. Just do me a favor? Don’t delude yourself into thinking that this is something that can be swept under the rug forever.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Sam smiled. He patted Tony’s shoulder. “Now, you sure you don’t want to check on Bucky before you tear apart the labs here?”

Tony did. He felt unsettled after everything that had happened, and he knew if he could just see Bucky for a moment it would ease most of the tension and anxiety he felt.

He just didn’t know if Bucky wanted to see him.

“Is he okay?” Tony asked.

“He’s banged up like you, but he’s got the super serum to help him through the worst of it.”

Tony hugged his arm and debated what would be the best course of action.

“Finding a cure for Steve takes priority.” Tony squared his shoulders and headed for the door.

“Five minutes to check on Bucky isn’t going to kill you.”

No, but it would come close enough.

* * *

“The moon gemstone,” Tony read off the HYDRA file. “The moon friggin’ gemstone… I’d say this is the craziest thing I have ever read about, except that would be a lie.”

Silence answered Tony in the lab.

Tony ignored the pang of loneliness that hit him in the chest. It was times like these when he really missed FRIDAY and JARVIS. Heck, even Dum-E and You would be welcomed right about now. He’d even let Dum-E use the fire extinguisher on him.

Tony closed his eyes and massaged his scalp. “It’s okay, Tony. You’re dealing with a gem that has properties that allow it to infect people with a virus that mimics the symptoms of lycanthropy. It’s probably radiation, actually—just like Bruce’s transformation, and it’s the lack of sunlight that causes its victims to transform. Steve and the others just need some more vitamin D, and then everything will be okay. We are not dealing with another magical gem. We are not.”

They were dealing with another magical gem.

Tony groaned.

“There is always a scientific explanation for everything, Tony. Always. This is just something that science hasn’t touched upon yet. Obviously HYDRA was working on something here, so there must be some scientific link, and if they can find it, so can you, because you are a genius and you stole all of their paperwork.”

Tony flipped through the files. He skimmed a few lines on the gem. So far what HYDRA had was a bunch of theories and a few journal entries from Dr. Frankenstein about Subject One’s reaction to the gemstone and the experiments that followed.

Subject One had not survived the initial tests.

There had been a handful of people turned into werewolves, but many of them had died for one reason or another. For some, it appeared the affects of the gemstone were too much of a toll on their body. For others they went mad and killed themselves. Then there were the ones who survived, only to be killed when they were celled with another werewolf.

Bile rose up in Tony’s throat as he read entry after entry. He slammed the file shut when he came across pictures and turned away from the file.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, but he couldn’t calm the anger, guilt, disgust, and sorrow he felt for all of the victims—even for the ones who’d volunteered to be experimented on. He also felt sick with himself, because for one brief moment all he could think was: thank god Steve had been one of the later experiments and not the first.

It was a terrible and selfish thought, and it made him question if he was no better than HYDRA.

So caught up in his self-loathing, he didn’t pay attention to his surroundings, so he was surprised when he heard Bucky’s approach just a few paces from the door.

Tony’s heart jumped to his throat and his eyes roved the room for a hiding spot. It was too late though, Bucky shoved open the door and walked inside.

Sections of Bucky’s gear were sliced or chewed open, and underneath the holes were white bandages, some of which were stained red with blood. Nicks covered Bucky’s face, and there was also a square bandage taped to the corner of his forehead.

Guilt churned Tony’s stomach.

Bucky scowled. “Stop that. I’m fine.” His eyes flickered over Tony. “Not so sure about you though.”

Tony held up his bandaged arms for show. “I think I’m doing better than you.”

“Lift up your shirt.”

“So forward. I expect at least a first date before I start showing off the goods.”

Bucky marched over to Tony and yanked up Tony’s shirt.

Tony’s entire torso was bandaged.

Tony pushed down his shirt. “To be fair, from what I can feel, my entire stomach isn’t cut up; I think someone just didn’t want to spend time covering every individual wound, so they just wrapped up the whole thing.”

Bucky glared at Tony’s stomach.

Tony frowned and shielded his belly from Bucky. “Listen, just because you have abs of steel does not give you the right to judge my marshmallow belly.”

“I’m not judging your belly.” Bucky scanned the room as if looking for threats. “What had you so upset a minute ago?”

“Oh, you know.” Tony faked a smile. “HDYRA lab files are the thing of dreams. The perfect bedtime story.”

Bucky sneered and checked the room again, this time his gaze landed on the file Tony had been reading. He looked like he wanted to burn the file but he made no move toward it.

“I’m sorry,” Tony suddenly blurted out.

Bucky’s attention whipped to him. “About what?”

Tony grimaced. He rubbed the back of his head and scuffed the floor with his foot. “About… triggering you. It never occurred to me that now that you can feel my emotions, it might cause you to… well, you know… react.” Tony cringed at his wording. He made what he’d done to Bucky sound so much more innocent than what it had been.

A violation.

Bucky brows knit together and his lips pursed. His head turned just a centimeter away from Tony’s, but he continued to hold Tony’s gaze. “It’s not the first time I’ve been triggered on this island.”

“Yeah, but it’s the first time I directly triggered it. If I hadn’t gone into… I don’t know. Sentinel mode? Protective mode? Pissed off and not thinking mode? Then you wouldn’t have gone into Soldier mode.”

“That’s not necessarily true.” Bucky’s frown deepened. His shoulder rose and dropped minutely, signaling his discomfort. “When things get dangerous I fall back on the Winter Soldier, sometimes intentionally and sometimes it just happens, and with the way that fight was going, I would have snapped eventually.”

It was an excuse. Tony had no idea why Bucky was excusing what had happened, but that was exactly what he was doing.

And despite Bucky’s words, his body gave off enough cues to tell Tony just how uncomfortable Bucky was with what had happened.

“But I still caused it,” Tony insisted.

Bucky sighed and ran hand through his hair. “Just stop,” the words were strained with exasperation and tension. “I really don’t want to think about this right now. I just wanted make sure you were okay.”

A beat of silence.

And then…“I’m dandy.”

“You’re sarcastic,” Bucky responded.

“That too.”

The corner of Bucky’s mouth twitched in an effort to smile. “So what exactly have we got here?” Bucky went over to the machine they’d seen Dr. Frankenstein working on through the window.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hope you really like magical gemstones, because if you do, you are really going to love this.”

* * *

Tony was surprised when Bucky decided to stick around the lab and help him open the insides of the device HYDRA had used to turn people into werewolves. Tony grumbled to Bucky about the differences between the actual machine and the schematics he’d found. It made him want to take machine thoroughly apart so he could have full grasp of what made it tick, but he restrained himself for now. Better to wait until SHIELD arrived to cart the thing away and take it to a lab where Tony would have all the proper tools than dismantle it now and risk damaging it.

That didn’t stop Tony from prying it open, reaching into the core, and taking out the red, glowing gemstone inside—or at least try to.

Bucky swatted Tony’s hand. “Don’t touch it.”

“I’m not going to let SHIELD get a hold of a machine that shoots lycanthropy causing rays! At least, not an operational one. I take the stone out, the machine stops working but it still maintains the integrity of its structure so I and a couple of SHIELD’s finest can study it later.”

“And then when the gemstone touches your skin, you’ll get hit with a full blast of whatever it is that gem is radiating to turn people into werewolves. I may not be a genius like you, but even I can read a file and interpret HYDRA’s schematics well enough to know that this machine is designed to control and regulate the gem’s power output. What do you think is going to happen when you touch it with your bare skin?”

“That I’ll join Steve as a werewolf and we will form our own pack. The two of us will run off together and live happily ever after, and you won’t have to worry about being my guide any more.”

Tony reached for the gem again.

Bucky smacked his hand and scowled. “No.”

“Okay, fine.” Tony rolled his eyes. “I will put gloves on.”

“You’ll put gloves on and you’re going to find tongs or something around here that you can use to take the gem out.”

“Why you gotta ruin my fun?”

“Why is your definition of fun touching things that could turn you into a wolf?”

“Hey, at least it won’t turn me into a slug.”

“Very funny.”

“I live to—” Tony cut himself off. Someone was approaching—no, two people. Natasha was the second one—her footsteps were always harder to detect. The first one though, Tony recognized all too well.

Steve.

Tony’s mind raced off in twenty different directions. The first of which was confusion; shouldn’t Steve be locked away somewhere? Wasn’t he still a werewolf? Then it really hit that what he was hearing was _human_ Steve’s footsteps. Sunrise must have hit, and Steve was no longer a wolf. That did present a scientific conundrum for Tony. Was it sunlight that caused the transformation or not? Had Steve been locked away somewhere with access to sunlight or had he been in the dark? If it was the latter then why and how had sunrise caused Steve’s transformation?

Tony focused on that line of thinking instead of the panicking voice in his head that wondered how Steve would react after Tony had beat him up and broken his bond with him.

Steve pushed open the door. He was bruised and cut up just as bad as Bucky and Tony, but at least he was human.

Steve sagged at the sight of Tony and Bucky.

“Than goodness you’re safe.” Steve strode into the room and bear hugged Bucky.

 _Ouch_. Tony winced. He’d been braced for anger or to have a hundred questions thrown at him at once, but he hadn’t expected to be out right ignored. Then again, perhaps it was naïve of him to think that Steve’s first concern would be to yell at Tony and/or confront him about the bond. Bucky was Steve’s best friend, and if Steve had any recollection of the fight, he probably wanted to make sure Bucky wasn’t emotionally scared or anything by his latest Winter Soldier slip.

Bucky’s eyes darted to Tony as he awkwardly embraced Steve back. “I’m fine, Steve. More worried about you. You’re still technically a werewolf, right?”

Steve glanced over his shoulder.

Natasha hovered near the doorway. She nodded.

“Guess that means I’ll need to be locked up again before night fall,” Steve said. “Unless you have a cure already?” Steve looked around the room.

“Working on it,” Tony answered. “Don’t think I’m going to find a cure by tonight, but give me a couple of days.”

“Tony.” Steve’s face lit up like he was seeing Tony for the first time in months. He stepped around Bucky and gave Tony a half hug and a pat on the back. “I was worried up you too.”

He looked from Bucky to Tony. His grinned widened. “So the three of us are going to have a talk it sounds like.”

“Not now,” Bucky and Tony said in unison.

Steve jerked back in surprise.

“Everything’s been a mess,” Bucky said in explanation.

Tony nodded his head. “A terrible, terrible mess. I don’t even know what I’m thinking any more.”

“Me too.” Bucky gripped the side of his head and shook it.

“You’re partners now though, right?”

Bucky and Tony looked at each other then faced Steve. “It’s complicated,” they spoke in unison again.

Steve chuckled. “Well, if you’re already talking like that, things will probably work out for the best.” Steve clamped his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed it. “I told you, you’ll make a fine guide. You’re still the best.”

Bucky clenched his jaw and his fingers curled at his sides.

Tony didn’t need empathic abilities to feel the rage and frustration boiling inside Bucky.

Scared that he might upset Bucky further, but wanting to comfort Bucky, Tony grazed his fingertips along the back of Bucky’s hand—testing to see if Bucky would accept a small amount of comfort.

Bucky’s hand twitched, but he didn’t pull away.

Racing footsteps and heavy breathing came toward the room, accompanied by Clint’s scent.

Clint skidded to a halt next to Natasha and grinned. “Guess who just arrived.”

“If it’s Elvis, I don’t care,” Tony said.

“How about Rhodey along with a bunch of helicarriers and SHIELD agents?”

“My honeybear is here?” Tony crowed, truly delighted. He cupped his face and batted his eyelashes. “I finally feel like a true princess, like Princess Zelda or Peach. More like princess Zelda though, because at least by the end of the games she usually does something to help the hero in the final fight. Not always, but enough times to make a noticeable difference between her and Peach.”

“To think not long ago I would have been gloriously oblivious to what you’re referencing,” Bucky said.

Tony swatted Bucky on the arm. “You’re just jealous because I love Rhodey more.” Tony stuck out his tongue.

“Put that tongue back in your mouth unless you’re going to use it.”

Tony stuck out his tongue more and leaned into Bucky’s face.

“I’m giving you one more warning, Stark. Put the tongue back in your mouth or I will show you the proper way to French kiss.”

Tony popped his tongue back in his mouth. He frowned as he mulled over Bucky’s threat. “You know, I am a firm believer in kissing everyone once—as long as they are not a psychopath or someone bent on world domination.” Tony grinned and stuck out his tongue again.

“You asked for it, Tony.” Bucky seized Tony by the back of his head and yanked Tony toward him.

Tony yelped, his tongue popping back into his mouth as Bucky kissed him hard and sloppy.

The kiss lasted two seconds—not even long enough for Tony’s brain to properly register it in time—then ended with Bucky ripping their faces apart and smirking. “Never play kissing chicken with me, Tony.”

“Did I really just see that?” Clint asked.

Natasha nodded.

Steve was wide-eyed with innocent surprise. He chuckled a moment later. “Wow, Bucky, you should have said something.”

Bucky scoffed. “Don’t read anything into it, Steve.” He looked pointedly at Tony. “Or you either.”

Tony was doing his best not too. He really, really was, but after everything that had happened, his brain would freak out if Clint so much winked at him or Natasha sashayed passed him. So Tony shoved and kicked down his panic and overanalyzing thoughts. Instead he pressed his knuckles to his mouth and went teary-eyed. “Honeybear is never going to forgive me for cheating on him.”

“Home wrecker,” Clint threw at Bucky.

Bucky huffed and headed for the door. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am sick of being stuck on this island and inside a HYDRA facility. I’m going outside where I can hop on a hellicarrier and get some actual shut eye.”

“Good plan,” Clint followed Bucky.

“We’ll need to take you to Fury,” Natasha said to Steve. “He’s going to want to make sure it’s safe for you to travel with us. We can’t have a werewolf running around on board come night fall.”

Steve nodded then turned to Tony. “You coming?”

Tony glanced at the machine—the moon gemstone still tucked inside it. “Just give me a few minutes. I want to make sure our Werewolf Maker is safe to transport.”

Steve nodded, and followed Natasha out of the lab. “Don’t take too long. Fury is going to want to talk with you too.”

Tony waved off Steve’s comment and turned to the Werewolf Ray Beam Machine of Nightmares and Poor Schematics. “Yes, Mom.” He looked around the room for a pair of gloves. When he found them he donned them and reached inside to grab the gemstone.

* * *

The first person Tony spotted when he exited the HYDRA facility was Rhodey.

“Honeybear!” Tony threw himself at Rhodey, not caring that his best friend was in his War Machine armor. If anything, Rhodey’s fashion choice made it all better, because 1.) Tony liked metal and so he did not mind hugging it at all, even if it poked and jabbed him in sensitive places, and 2.) it just meant Rhodey could pick Tony up and twirl him around like a princess.

Not that Rhodey was doing that—the jerk.

“Tony!” Rhodey exclaimed, as he put some space between him and Tony so he could look his friend over. “Are you okay?”

Tony held up one of his bandaged arms. “Oh, you know, survived an explosion, a tidal wave, werewolves, and a bunch of HYDRA agents. No big deal.”

Rhodey grinned. “And all you got were a few surface injuries?”

“My ribs feel a little tender.” Tony hugged his side. “Carry me to the plane, sweet prince?”

“I think Steve has a walk it off policy, and I’d hate to go against it.”

“That’s only if we die.”

“And how can I be sure that this isn’t some _Sixth Sense_ bull shit where you are dead, but I can see you?”

“Oooh,” Tony cooed delightedly. “A _Lost_ and _Sixth Sense_ crossover. Rhodey, you should forget super heroing and become a writer.”

“And leave myself open to you calling me up everyday to hang out, because my schedule is _supposedly_ more flexible?”

“It would be more flexible!”

“You know nothing about the writing industry.”

“Neither do you.”

“Do you two need a room?” Natasha asked from where she was studying a tablet that she must have gotten from one the SHIELD agents running around.

Tony shook his head. “Rhodey still refuses to consummate our relationship.”

Rhodey sighed in exasperation. “Tony, I swear to god, get on the hellicarrier, get cleaned up, rest; or I will tie you to one of the cots.”

“Kinky.”

“Go!”

“Aye, aye, Colonel!” Tony mock saluted and headed to the hellicarrier.

Tony stopped at the top of ramp leading into the aircraft. He looked around the HYDRA facilty and island and sighed in relief. Maybe it was too soon to celebrate—since they’d probably still be on the island for a few more hours as SHIELD rounded up the HYDRA agents—but a great lift had already been lifted off Tony’s chest.

He’d be home soon.


	9. Chapter 9

“Daddy’s home!” Tony threw out his arms as he waltzed out of the elevator and onto the communal floor of the tower.

Steve snorted in amusement at Tony’s antics.

Tony just grinned and threw himself face first onto the couch. His injuries cried out in protest but his muscles cooed in joy.

“Welcome back, boss!” FRIDAY chirped. “You were gone longer than anticipated.”

“HYDRA abducted me,” Tony stated.

“I’m disappointed to hear that, boss. Is there anything you’d like me to do to them in retaliation?”

“Vengeful little thing, isn’t she?” Clint asked as he pushed and maneuvered Tony’s legs around so he could flop onto the couch too. He kicked his legs up on the arm of the couch and rested his head on Tony’s back.

“She’s just one program away from becoming evil,” Tony said.

“It better be more than one program,” Rhodey said as he walked past the couch and whapped Tony on the head. “I’ve already fought one evil robot intent on destroying the world, I really don’t need another.”

“I think we can all agree with that,” Steve said from somewhere in the room (Tony was too lazy to lift his head to see where Steve had wandered off to).

“Here, here!” Sam said, and it sounded like he’d given up on finding a chair and had just plopped himself right on the floor.

“Enjoy team bonding time for a little while longer boys,” Natasha said. “We only have a few more hours until sunset.”

Steve swallowed hard. “Yeah… we should make sure the Hulk containment room is strong enough for werewolves.”

“It is.” Tony hugged the couch cushion and closed his eyes.

“We should run tests to be sure.”

“Based off HYDRA’s tests and calculating the super serum into the equation, you should be fine.”

“We should still test it.”

Tony lifted his head and pouted. “Please don’t take me away from the comfy couch.”

“Tony, it’s a safety issue,” Steve argued.

“Fine,” Tony sighed. “But only if someone carries me down to the lab.”

No one volunteered.

“All of you suck.” Tony flopped back down onto the couch.

“Steve, carry him,” Natasha said.

Steve jumped. “Why should I?”

“We either wait the extra ten minutes it will take to get him off the couch, or you can carry him. You’re strong enough that it should be easy. Plus, you’re the only one who needs to go to the lab with him.”

Tony nodded. He’d agree with anything Natasha said if it meant he didn’t have to walk anywhere. He just wanted to curl up and sleep for three days straight.

“Maybe Bucky should do it?” Steve suggested.

“Maybe you should learn to shut your face, Rogers.” Bucky had plopped himself on the second couch in the room. His breathing and heart rate were slow and steady. If everyone left him alone for a few minutes, he’d probably fall asleep. “Just because I’m his guide doesn’t mean I’m his Ma or his boyfriend.”

“Could you imagine if Bucky was Tony’s mom? Clint mumbled into Tony’s back. “What kind of crazy family tree would that be?”

“Come on, Tony.” Steve kneeled in front of Tony and prodded his shoulder. “We’re just testing the strength of the room. It shouldn’t take that long.”

“The best and fastest way to test it is when you are a werewolf,” Tony grumbled.

“Tony.”

“All right, all right.” Tony pushed himself up, causing Clint to slide down his body and curl up at the other end of the couch. Tony heaved himself off the couch, stumbling for a couple of steps. He rubbed his head as he got his bearings. “Fine let’s go. Someone bring me coffee later or I swear on all that is science I will end all of you.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” Natasha asked.

“By adding that last program to FRIDAY.”

“Boss, perhaps it would be wise if you did not reveal your evil machinations to those who could stop you prematurely.”

Tony waved off his AI’s concern and instead headed for the lab, Steve close behind. “Whatever. You’ll protect me.”

“Your confidence in me is appreciated, Boss,” FRIDAY responded as she opened the elevator for him.

“Do I detect sarcasm?”

“Never.”

All of Tony’s teammates snickered.

Tony frowned. “I hate all of you.”

Steve chuckled. “It’s just a joke, Tony.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony feigned annoyance as he slipped his hand into his trousers’ pocket. His fingers curled around the small metal box he’d been able to piece together in HYDRA’s lab to contain the moon gemstone. Steve’s cautious nature actually gave him the perfect opportunity to enter his lab and sneak the gemstone inside for later research.

The trip down to the lab was quick. Tony slipped the box out of his pocket and onto one of his tables as he riffled around for the various devices he’s need to measure Steve’s strength. He figured some good old-fashioned weight lifting would be a good gauge, but he also needed to measure the force of impact of Steve’s punches, and see if his speed had increased at all, along with any other possible enhancements. Tony suspected that he wouldn’t see any difference in strength while Steve was human, but the moment Steve went furry everything would change. Unfortunately, measuring Steve’s abilities during such a state would not be easy, especially if Steve damaged any of the equipment while a werewolf.

Tony didn’t voice his speculations as he ushered Steve out of the lab and to the gym where they could take proper measurements.

His goal was to make sure that when Steve was human he functioned at his normal capacity—no more, no less—just as the other werewolves in HYDRA’s lab had demonstrated during their testing. As long as Steve’s strength measured around the same then Tony could trust that his calculations about the Hulk’s containment room remained true.

Tony strapped multiple devices to Steve and had Steve run several exercises. Even if Steve was stronger with his new werewolf abilities, Tony was going to run him through enough exercises that Steve would be too tired to want to eat anyone.

Just like Tony. God, he needed some coffee.

The elevator slid down the gym and opened, carrying with it Bucky’s metallic scent and coffee.

Tony twirled, ignoring Steve for the moment so he could coo at Bucky. “My darling love, you have returned to me.”

Bucky quirked an eyebrow. “Is that aimed at me or the coffee?”

“Which one gets me the coffee?” Tony grinned.

Bucky snorted softly and marched up to Tony.

Tony made grab-hands at the cup, but before he could wrap his fingers around it, Bucky brought the cup to his lips and sipped it.

Tony’s heart fell.

Bucky smirked and offered the cup to Tony. “Scared of a few germs, Tony?”

Tony blinked, thrown by the childish question and action. “No!” He swiped the cup. “Besides, I already had your mouth on mine, so whatever diseases you have, I already have too.” He sipped his coffee and sighed happily. The bitter taste danced on his taste buds and woke his senses. “I love you,” he whispered to the cup.

“Would you marry coffee if it was personified?”

“I’d marry it and make love to it every day until I died from a heart attack or over stimulation.”

“It disturbs me how much sincerity I sense from you.”

Tony grinned and took another sip of his coffee as he watched Steve beat the stuffing out of one of the gym’s punching bags. “Not a bad way to go. The little death followed by the big death.”

“I’m just imagining how traumatized your partner would be.”

“Now why do you have to take it to such dark places?”

“Would it be more happy and romantic if you both died from over stimulation?”

Tony mulled over Bucky’s question. “It depends. I think if we were in orgasmic bliss and confessing our eternal love for each other it could be very romantic, but if we were in pain because of the over stimulation, even with dramatic and epic love confessions, I am not so sure we could pull off making it romantic. Tragic, maybe.”

Steve stopped punching and turned to face Bucky and Tony. “What the heck are you two talking about over there?”

“Death by sex,” Bucky stated. “Is it romantic or just tragic?”

“It’s definitely tragic if you don’t get to the climax first,” Tony stated.

“No argument there,” Bucky said.

“You two are ridiculous.” Even as he spoke, Steve smiled fondly. He turned around and went back to punching the bag. “In a couple of months you two will probably be as close as Natasha and Clint.”

Tony’s shoulders jumped to his ears. He really didn’t want to have this conversation now, but since Steve had brought up the topic…

Bucky’s fingers brushed Tony’s wrist.

Tony looked up at Bucky.

Bucky shook his head.

Tony sighed.

So Bucky didn’t want to talk about it just yet either. Good. Very good. Tony needed at least one full night of sleep before he could tackle the sentinel-guide bond issue, especially since he didn’t know what he wanted anymore. He wanted a guide, but after what had happened inside HYDRA’s base, Tony wasn’t so sure it was a good idea for him to be Bucky’s sentinel. Bucky needed someone more grounded and not so easily angered. That meant Tony would have to reestablish his bond with Steve though, which he wasn’t even sure he could do. Theoretically it was possible, but since he’d had so many problems with bonds in the past, Tony was doubtful. It also didn’t seem right to force Steve back into a bond with him when Steve appeared so happy. He was practically a ray of sunshine.

If Tony could, he wouldn’t have any guide at this point. He didn’t want any of them to suffer from his emotional baggage.

Tony watched Steve knock the punching bag off its hook and go fetch it.

Tony swallowed his nerves and straightened his shoulders.

He could deal with his doubts and fears tomorrow. Right now he had to make sure Steve wouldn’t break out of Hulk’s cell.

* * *

“What do you have for me, FRIDAY?” Tony pushed his swivel chair out and rolled from one lab table to the next.

A hologram popped up in front of him, displaying the readings FRIDAY had taken from the moon gemstone.

“Some interesting readings, boss. Similar to the ones you picked up when you examined the mind stone, but vastly different too.”

Tony skimmed over the display. “I see what you mean. Not quite a sibling to the mind stone, but perhaps a second cousin thrice removed?”

“That certainly is an analogy for it.”

“And what are we looking at with HYDRA’s information?”

Another hologram popped up, projecting figures and graphs that FRIDAY had collected and generated based off the files Tony had found at the HYDRA base.

“That would—I’m sorry, Boss, but Agent Nick Fury is calling and he is using the emergency line.”

“The urgent emergency line or the I’m pissed off and I demand your attention emergency line?” Tony inquired.

“The latter, Boss.”

Tony motioned for FRIDAY to connect the call.

The two other holograms slid backward and were replaced by a third one of Fury’s enraged face. “Stark,” Fury began, “Why is it that the machine that turns people into werewolves is missing a very important piece to power it?”

Tony hummed. “This doesn’t sound like a very good joke, but I’ll go along with it. Why, Fury?”

“Tony,” Fury’s voice took on a warning tone.

Tony scoffed. “Why does everyone always suspect me when something goes wrong?”

“Oh, trust me, Stark there are many things that go wrong everyday, and I don’t blame them on you. Now when it comes to tech not operating after you’ve been around it, _that_ I blame on you.”

“I make tech. Why would I sabotage it?”

“Because you’re a paranoid bastard just like me. Now what did you take from the machine?”

“Just some cheap jewelry.”

“Jewelry? This wouldn’t happen to be the moon gemstone that is mentioned in the HYDRA files we found?”

Tony scoffed. “Now really, Nick, if you knew that much, I would have thought you capable of deducing what I took from the that werewolf generator.”

“I suspected, but I felt I should confirm first.”

“So you call me up and accuse me of sabotage. How very kind of you. Could have at least asked me directly instead of playing games with me.” Tony mock pouted and put some hurt in his voice. “I have enough people in my life who like to toy with my emotions.”

“Stop with the dramatics, Stark. I assume since you have the gemstone you have been running tests.”

“Of course. Can’t have Steve be a werewolf forever. We need the Hulk containment cell when Brucie decides to rejoin the team again.”

“Send me your information.”

“FRIDAY,” Tony intoned.

“Data already sent,” FRIDAY said.

“That’s my girl.”

“So before I send your file to my scientists, any thoughts you’d like to share about what you’ve learned? Anything my team should be looking into?”

“I just finished most of my tests, and was a bout to do a thorough read through when you called. Looking over the schematics for the Werewolve’s Susie Bake Laser, it looks like it was designed to amplify and channel the gemstone’s power while also manipulating it. You have your basic energy outputs, which you can see in the data I sent you, and then you have the outputs that are noted in HYDRA’s files. While some outputs are the same, some have been altered. Based of the alterations, those hit by the laser beam reacted differently. It could affect intelligence, strength, and mental stability. It’s actual quite ingenious really.”

Fury scowled.

“I didn't say I condone what they were doing, but the amount of manipulation and just how refined it is…” Tony shook his head. “…it’s not easy. Dr. Frankenstein wasn’t just some random scientist they grabbed off the street. He had some idea what he was doing.”

“I’ll have my agents keep that in mind while they interrogate him.”

“Boss, Mr. Barnes has requested your presence in Steve’s living room. He wishes to discuss important matters with the two or you.”

Tony grimaced. He’d been hoping to buy another day by locking himself in the lab. Maybe if he acted like a conversation wasn’t needed between the three of them, everything would go away? He knew it wasn’t likely, but he could hope, right?

“That reminds me. When were you going to inform SHIELD of your new partner, Stark?”

Tony scoffed. “You’re not my mom; I don’t have to tell you everything. And it sounds like you found out anyway, so really, I don’t understand why you are complaining.”

“If I were you’re mother, I would have slapped the sass out of you by now. And when it comes to knowing who your guide is, SHIELD needs to know in case something happens to Bucky. Now according to Sam Wilson’s report it sounds like you broke your bond with Steve, but no one else has filed such a claim. Care to inform me if Sam is telling the truth, or did he feel like adding some drama to his report to make it more interesting?”

“Boss, Mr. Barnes would like to know if you are coming or not. He demands at least some form of response.”

“Well, Stark?” Fury pressed.

Tony scoffed and pushed out of his chair. “As you can hear, Fury, I have a date with two cute Super Soldiers who want to discuss feelings. I really don’t have time for your needless interrogation into my personal life. FRIDAY, shut him off.”

“Stark—” The hologram of Fury’s face vanished, and with it his audio feed.

“I have informed Mr. Barnes that you are on your way,” FRIDAY cheered.

Tony cursed. He’d just been trying to shut Fury up. He’d planned to give himself some more time before responding to Bucky’s summons. “You devious little AI. I’d say I would donate you to a community college, but you’d probably like that. So many poor college students to make miserable with your Machiavellian ways.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Boss.”

“Sure you don’t.” Tony shook his head as he strolled out of his lab and into the elevator. Not like he could put off meeting with Bucky and Steve now. If he didn’t show up the two would team up and hunt him down, then proceed to grill him on why he;d lied (even though he hadn’t; FRIDAY had just jumped the gun).

Might as well get the inevitable over with too, he supposed.

Tony’s stomach twisted as he set foot in the elevator. The seconds it took for the elevator to shoot up to Steve’s floor was enough time for sweat to gather on Tony’s palms.

When the elevator opened it was to Steve seated casually on the couch of his living room looking happy, albeit a little tense. His eyes followed Bucky who leaned against the wall, his fingers tapping out an anxious beat along his metal arm.

Tony swallowed and put on a smile. “Hope I didn’t keep you two waiting too long.”

Bucky grunted out reply and pointed to the seat next to Steve. “Sit, and calm down. Neither of us are going to bite your head off.”

Tony nodded, but instead of sitting next to Steve on the couch, he plopped himself in the armchair next to the couch, so he could watch both guides with ease.

Steve leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. In a matter of seconds his expression had gone from tentatively friendly to scrutinizing. “Is something wrong?”

Bucky nodded. “The bond between you and Tony broke.”

Tony’s muscles jumped together. He listened intently to Steve’s heartbeat and breathing to pick up on the man’s emotions before Steve spoke.

Steve blinked in surprise and sat up straighter. “It did, but that’s fine.” Steve touched his chest, over his heart. “I admit it feels a little strange after always having this sense of Tony always in the back of my mind—even a little lonely—but that’s not unusual when a bond is broken.” Steve smiled. “Please don’t tell me you two have been worried about that? I really don’t mind.”

Tony winced.

“It’s only been a few days, but I can already see how much better Tony is doing, and I’ve told you multiple times, Bucky, that you would make a great guide. I don’t care what SHIELD says, you’ve always been the best when it comes to guiding sentinels. It might take some time to get used to it again, but I know you and Tony can make it work.”

Bucky grimaced as Tony’s heart clenched.

Those were some kind words on Steve’s part, but Tony couldn’t help but wonder if—

“I can’t be Tony’s guide,” Bucky stated. “It needs to be you.”

And there was the sucker punch from Bucky.

Tony tried to suppress the sting of Bucky’s words, but to no avail. Even when he reasoned that he’d known Bucky’s opinion on the matter for some time now, there was still that part of him that had hoped for acceptance, even if it wasn’t deserved.

Bucky’s attention shifted to Tony briefly, but then he attached his gaze to Steve and plowed on in determination.

“I’m not emotionally stable, and the other day proved that if Tony loses control then there is a good chance I’ll revert back to the Winter Soldier. You know as well as I do that while that mindset can be helpful, there have also been times when it has been detrimental. It’s not worth the risk having two teammates who aren’t in full control of themselves.”

Steve opened his mouth then shut it. He opened his mouth again, and for the second time closed it without a word. His shoulders drew together, and it looked like at any moment he’d leap off the couch. “I can’t believe you’d say that,” finally spilled out of Steve’s mouth.

“That I don’t want to put my teammates at risk?” Bucky pressed, purposefully focusing on that part of his reasoning and not the rest.

Steve shook his head. “I know the Winter Soldier is a delicate matter; that even to this day you might not have enough control to recognize friend or foe if hit with the wrong trigger, but you’ve also haven’t had a full lapse in over year. Even when you're the Soldier you’ve maintained some control. I can’t believe that having a sentinel—someone who can anchor you just as much you them—would be a bad thing.”

“But he isn’t just capable of anchoring me!” Bucky snapped. Or are you going to ignore everything I just said?”

Steve held up his hands in a show defense. “I’m not saying the reverse isn’t true, but maybe focus on the positive instead?”

“There is nothing positive about this!”

Oh! Oh… Wow… That… Tony had to stop himself from touching his heart. That hadn’t just hurt emotionally, that had been a physical pain. Like a knife jabbed right in the center of his chest scar. Ow.

Bucky’s head swiveled to Tony. He looked equally pained and also shame-faced. “Sorry,” he grumbled.

“Don’t worry about it,” Tony dismissed.

“That,” Steve pointed at Tony then at Bucky. “That right there. I could never pick up Tony’s emotions from across the room like that. I always had to be touching him, and even then I couldn’t always get a clear read. What you just did proves that your bond is strong, and it will only get stronger if you let it.”

“I don’t want it to get stronger. I want it gone.”

“Bucky I know you can—”

“This isn’t about whether I can or can’t do it, Steve. This is about making a responsible decision.”

Steve shot up from the couch. “Is it? Because we’ve had this argument so many times before, I’m just not sure if you’re looking for excuses so you don’t have to try—so you don’t have to take the risk.”

“That’s the point, Steve; the risk is too great. Besides, what about you and Tony? It doesn’t sound like you or Tony have been taking many risks.”

“What does that mean?”

“Funny thing about being trapped on island with someone, you two start talking and you learn things, and from what I learned, you and Tony didn’t even try to most basic technique to strengthen your bond, which is just to talk. Talk about personal shit. Friggin’ get to know each other beyond the surface. Learn fears, hopes, dreams, and all that crap!”

Tony and Steve both stiffened.

They glanced nervously at each other then looked away.

Tony bit his bottom lip. Yeah, Steve and him didn’t talk about that stuff, but…. He trusted Steve to have his back in a fight. He trusted Steve to be honest with him. He didn’t trust Steve with his past. Rhodey was probably the only person he trusted wholeheartedly with that information—even Pepper he had spared some details when they talked about their lives.

Tony had always assumed Steve was the same way when it came to his past. It was one of the many reasons that Tony, no matter how desperate he got, never pushed Steve to talk. They didn’t need to know each other’s pasts. They just needed to care and respect each other; that’s what had mattered.

“I’m not going to force Tony to talk about his past if he doesn’t want to, and he’s not going to do the same to me.” Steve clenched his fists. “Another important aspect about being a guide and sentinel pair is respecting each other’s boundaries. It can get convoluted what with the guide always sensing emotions from the sentinel, and the sentinel always aware of the guide’s presence or heartbeat, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are boundaries and that they needed to be respected. You taught me that.”

By the end of Steve’s sentence, Steve wasn’t the only one clenching his fist; Bucky was too. His face was slightly flushed with anger and his heart rate had risen. “That still doesn’t change anything. A bond between Tony and me is dangerous. It has to be you two.”

“But Tony’s mental—”

“Then _talk_! Go to another island with werewolves. I don’t know. Have a friggin’ honeymoon or something. Do everything you can to strengthen the bond, and then when you’ve tried everything, only then come to me. I should be the last resort.”

“You are.”

Bucky scoffed.

Tony…Tony didn’t know what to say. Honestly, he hadn’t known what to say for a while. Bucky was so vehemently against being his partner and Steve—

“Don’t just disregard what I said,” Steve raised his voice. “You have no idea how much Tony and I have tried.”

“And you have no idea what’s going on inside my head. You have no idea if it really is safe for me to be Tony’s guide or not. The only reason why you are fighting so hard for this is because you’re clinging to the past. That’s always been the problem! You need to accept that I am not the person or guide I used to be.”

“How can I when you won’t even try?”

“Who says I haven’t been trying?”

That’s when the screaming match really began.

Tony gritted his teeth and curled his fingers tightly around the arm of his chair. His nerves were electric and his eyes followed Steve’s and Bucky’s movements with a narrowed focus. He knew Steve wasn’t a real threat to Bucky—at least not at the moment—and he knew that the two of them needed to get this fight out of their system. He didn’t like it though. It put him on edge. It made him feel like he had to get up and fight.

“Jeez, Mom and Dad, I get neither one of you want the kid in the divorce, but you think you can cool it for a moment?” Tony joked.

“That’s a terrible analogy,” Steve criticized.

Bucky on the other hand froze. His eyes were slightly wide with panic, and he looked cautiously at Tony.

Tony forced himself to grin.

“I have to go.” Bucky fled for the elevator.

Steve hollered after Bucky, but Bucky was already gone—faster than a cat threatened with a bath.

Steve slumped at Bucky’s departure. He ran his hands through his hair and dropped down onto the couch. “Damn it. I didn’t mean to explode like that. I just—I just want him to see what I see. He can do this; I know he can.”

Tony huffed and leaned back in his chair, delighted to have the fight done and over with. His nerves still felt frayed, but at least he could focus on something other than Steve and Bucky for a moment. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to see it. Also, he has a valid point.”

“I know.” Steve rested his elbows on his knees and clutched his head. “I know he does, but he’s just so stubborn and I feel like the only way he’ll ever see just how capable he is, is when he is finally forced to uses his capabilities.”

“But do you want to be the one to force him?”

Steve snorted, amused. “Okay, who is the guide here? Because you sound like one right now.”

Tony grinned a genuine smile. “Hey, I did have the best guide once, contrary to popular belief, some of the things he said did rub off on me.”

Steve shook his head. “You never had the best guide. That’s Bucky.”

“He _was_ the best guide, Steve. Right now with the way he’s acting, he’s not the best guide for anyone.”

Steve sat up straighter, looking ready to fight.

Tony rolled his eyes. “I never said Bucky wouldn’t reach that pedestal you’ve put him on ever again. I said: _right now_. There’s still hope for the future.”

Steve sighed and slumped against the couch. “You’re right. Thanks, Tony.”

Tony made his smile even brighter as he stood to leave. “I always am. And you know what? I’ll even do you a favor and go talk to him. See if I can’t boost his confidence a little or at least calm him down. I owe him for his help the last few days.”

“He’s going to insist that the two of us bond again,” Steve heaved, massaging his forehead.

“I’m sure I can convince him to chill for a few days on the subject. Once he’s calmed down maybe I talk about dual custody or a probationary month.”

Steve hummed in thought. “Actually, a month might be a good idea. He’ll try to make it a week or two, but maybe…”

Tony held up his hand to silence Steve. “A month I know I can get out of him.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “We didn’t just _literally_ bond on the island; we _figuratively_ did too. Let me talk to him, and everyone will be happy. I promise.”

Steve chuckled. “If you think so, because I know right now he’s not going to want to hear what I want to say.”

“I’ll get Nat’s help too. Together, we’ll get Bucky to agree to a month of Tony Stark babysitting.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem, now excuse me while I hunt down your best friend, and then go back to the lab to find the cure to your little wolf problem.” Tony strolled to the elevator.

“Tony,” Steve said as the elevator doors slid open.

Tony stepped inside, but FRIDAY held the doors open. “Yeah?”

“Thanks, I mean it.”

“Like I said, Steve, ‘No problem.’” The doors slid shut, and Tony’s happy façade dropped.

He frowned and clutched the elevator’s handle bar.

Everyone was miserable, and it was all his fault.

He knew what he had to do.


	10. Chapter 10

“I feel so special getting a personal invite to your lab,” Rhodey teased as he spun around in Tony’s swivel chair.

Tony jokingly scoffed. “You act like I never invite you down here.”

“Usually the invite comes with ‘check out my cool new invention.’ I think this may be the first time I’ve ever gotten a ‘I crave human interaction, please come to my lab and watch me work’ invite.”

Tony put down his tablet. “Oh, Honeybear.” Tony straddled Rhodey’s legs and wrapped his arms around Rhodey’s neck. “I’m so sorry, I’ve made you feel negelected and ignored. Here, let me make you feel better.” Tony puckered his lips and leaned in to kiss Rhodey.

Rhodey shoved his hand onto Tony’s face and pushed Tony away. “Nope.” He chuckled. “Nope, this is exactly how I ended up missing out on dating so many girls in college. You come at me like some temptress and then all the lovely ladies refuse to date me because none of them want to be the homewrecker of our relationship or my beard.”

“Honeybear.” Tony pouted and leaned in like he was going to give Rhodey a peck on the cheek. “You hurt me. I love you so much, yet you always push me away.”

Rhodey craned his head away from Tony. “You know if you were locked in a castle and there was a sleeping spell on you that could only be broken with a kiss I would be there shoving my tongue down your throat in a heartbeat.”

Tony wrinkled his nose. “You don’t have to use tongue.”

Rhodey swatted Tony’s thigh. “Tease.”

Tony wiggled his eyebrows. “You know it.” He slipped off Rhodey’s lap and went back to studying FRIDAY’s readings on the moon gemstone and Werewolf Ray Machine. He’d already come up with a few theories on how to reverse Steve and the others’ lycanthropy, but nothing he would want submitted for testing. The percentages for success were still too low, but he would find a solution soon, especially if he hacked SHIELD and got a hold of some of their ideas.

“Can I just say how good it is to see you so healthy?” Rhodey sighed blissfully.

“I’ve been healthy. My cholesterol is even down.”

Rhodey shook his head. “You know what I mean, Tony. For a while now you’ve been zoning out and your senses were getting overwhelmed almost everyday. You were also so stressed out. You’re just so much more lax and in control right now. I’m just so happy for you.”

Tony grinned. “Thanks.” He winked. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Rhodey grabbed Tony’s wrist and squeezed. “Which is why I request you to forgive me for my bluntness when I ask that you don’t screw this up.”

Tony jolted but kept up his pleasant demeanor. “What are you talking about, Honeybear? Why would I want to screw up something that keeps me happy, healthy, and sane?”

“Because—and I say this with love—you are messed up in the head with a thousand and one insecurities and you think that you don’t deserve happiness.”

“I deserve happiness,” Tony protested.

Rhodey huffed. “You do, but when it comes to your happiness versus someone else’s you always let your feelings slide and focus on making the other person happy.” Rhodey squeezed Tony’s wrist. “That’s how you’ve always protected people, Tony. Before weapons and before Iron Man, you’ve always protected people by concealing your thoughts and feelings.”

Tony scoffed. “The last time I checked I am pretty blunt.”

Rhodey grinned. “Don’t get me wrong; you are, and some times that helps people too. Sometimes we need to hear what we don’t want to, which is exactly why I’m talking to you about this. You are the most honest and secretive person I know, Tony, and I love you all the more for it. But this situation between you, Steve, and Bucky has me worried that you are going to do something stupid to keep everyone happy.”

Tony rolled his eyes and pulled his wrist out from Rhodey’s grasp. “I’m not stupid—far from it, actually. Steve and I just weren’t cutting it, and Bucky is the magical cure. The logical thing to do is to let Steve be on his way and work things out with Bucky so I can live the rest of my life sane. …or the rest of his life sane.” Tony frowned. “…being a sentinel sucks.”

“Being a guide isn’t so great either, or have you forgotten about the discrimination guides still face because of generations thinking that guides were too fragile for physical work and were only allowed to be in the military or other positions deemed ‘sentinel’ only for the sole purpose of ensuring that the sentinels there didn’t lose their shit.”

Tony held up his hands. “Got it. Crossed a line.”

“I’m not mad, and I get what you’re saying. No one is thrilled to be so utterly dependent on another person, and unfortunately for you, you are very dependent on Bucky.”

“Thanks for making me feel better,” sarcasm dripped from Tony’s voice.

“Bet I can make you even happier. Let me see your tablet.”

Tony slid the tablet to Rhodey, who maneuvered a few things around on screen and punched in a few numbers. He flipped the tablet around for Tony to see what he’d done. “I may not have all of your tech skills, but I do know my weapons. Think this might help you get closer to a cure for Steve?”

Tony examined the tablet. Pride and love bloomed in his chest. “I could kiss you right now so bad, Honeybear. I’ll even use tongue.”

“Not really feelin’ the tongue right now, so…” Rhodey shrugged.

“Oh you are getting the tongue.” Tony leaned down to kiss Rhodey.

Rhodey shoved his face away and laughed. “Get off me, perv.”

“I love you!”

“Love you too. Now keep your lips to yourself.”

* * *

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Tony teased lightly as he approached Bucky.

Several hours had passed, and it was nighttime. Tony had waited until the evening to confront Bucky about what had happened in Steve’s room to give the man some time to cool down. When FRIDAY finally reminded Tony about his plan, she’d also revealed that Bucky was hanging out near the Hulk’s cell and watching Steve wolf out.

Steve paced the cell in his lupine form, ears down and shoulders hunched. He watched Bucky and Tony through blood red eyes.

It was creepy as hell and Tony shuddered.

“Wasn’t expecting to be here myself.” Bucky followed Steve’s movements just has intently as Steve monitored his own.

Tony coughed to clear his throat. “So should I leave you and your boyfriend alone, or…”

“Jealous?” Bucky smirked.

Tony scoffed. “And what do I have to be jealous of? I have Rhodey, who is a sexy beast.” Tony mock pouted. “Although he is rather cold. I’m starting to think he might not be lying when he says he has no sexual attraction toward me.”

“I’m sure in a fuck or die situation he’d help you out. You might even be in his top five choices of people he’d want to fuck or be fucked by if he was put in such a position.”

“Top two!” Tony insisted.

Bucky smirked, his twinkling eyes silently asking: “Really?”

“You are so mean to me,” Tony huffed.

Bucky turned, finally ignoring Steve for two seconds to really look at Tony. “What do you want, Tony?”

“World peace?”

“And if you weren’t Miss Universe?”

“A cheeseburger.”

“Very funny. Come on, I can tell there is something you want to talk about.”

“Is that because you can read my emotions?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “No, because you are just that easy to read.”

“I’m insulted.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest.

“Tony,” Bucky said, his tone mimicking the one Steve used when Steve wanted Tony to be serious.

Tony uncrossed his arms. “Okay, fine, I want to talk, but…” Tony gestured at Steve. “I’m not sure how well he understands us and I rather have this conversation in private.”

“Fine with me.” Bucky headed toward the exit.

“Really? That easy?” Tony followed closely behind Bucky.

“Sometimes you really do just need to ask. Plus, I have some things I’d like to say too.”

Tony mock gasped. “Bucky Barnes actually wants to talk with me?” Tony threw his hand to his forehead. “I think I might faint.”

“Yeah, yeah, keep acting like an ass. It makes me _really_ want to talk to you.”

“Everyone wants to talk to me.”

“You need a new joke. It’s always ‘everyone wants to—insert verb here—me.”

“Not my fault so many people want to do things to me.” The door shut behind Tony as the left the monitor room of the Hulk’s cell.

Bucky leaned against the wall. “So which one of us should let our heart bleed first?”

Tony wrinkled his nose. “I just redid the floor, so could we please not bleed all over it?”

“Deflecting.”

“Ah, sounds like I’ve been volunteered to go first. Okay.” Tony cleared his throat and focused on sounding sincere and giving off honesty vibes. “I get it. I get that you don’t want to be my partner, and I don’t want to force myself on you or anyone. So I agree with you. We shouldn’t be partners.” Wow, honesty was real easy when being honest. “That being said, it will take a while for our bond to dissolve anyway, and it probably isn’t a good idea for Steve and I to try and reconnect when he turns into a werewolf every night. Rhodey and I are really close to a cure though, so in a few days, Steve and I can work on rekindling our bond. Until then, can you be patient with me and tolerate it for a week or two?” Tony held up his hand. “I promise I will get to work on dissolving our bond once Steve is back to normal.”

Bucky’s face scrunched. He scrutinized Tony, his stance and expression radiating distrust.

Tony sighed in exasperation. “C’mon, Bucky, you know as well as I do that there is no fast fix for this.”

“You really don’t mind?”

“Mind what exactly?”

Bucky gestured between them. “Breaking this? Rebonding with Steve?

“I’m offering, aren’t I?”

“But I felt…” Bucky frowned and bowed his head. His eyes flashed with thought as he pondered what he’d just been about to say. Finally, he raised his head to meet Tony’s eyes. “I know I hurt you back there. I know Steve did too.”

Tony leaned away from Bucky. “Yeah, well…I was confused and not sure what to do.”

“That divorce comment was laced with a lot of truth behind it.”

Tony held up his hands. “Hey, hey, please stop with the ‘you are hurt and broken inside’ speech. Yes, there was some truth there, but I’m better now. I know what needs to be done, and I know what I need. I need a partner who wants me, and that is not you. Maybe one day it will be, but for now, I refuse to settle for someone who rather get in a screaming match with his best friend than deal with me.”

Bucky winced. “Sorry about that.”

“As I said, I’m over it.”

“Still, I knew you were upset, and I did nothing to help you.”

Tony shrugged. “Just one more reason to back up your argument that you can’t be a guide.”

Bucky cringed and guilt socked Tony right in the jaw.

“Sorry,” Tony apologized.

“No, no,” Bucky said. “I deserved that, and you’re right. I just wonder what we’re going to tell Steve.”

“Let me handle that. Steve and I may butt heads, but when we’re not fighting each other, we’re actually a pretty good team. He won’t be happy, but he’ll understand. Just try not mention it to him.” Tony scrunched up his face as if he were in physical pain. “I really do not want to hear you two arguing again. Even without the double bond it messes with me.”

“Deal.”

* * *

“And you’re absolutely certain that this will cure me? All three of you?” Steve’s head swiveled between Fury, Tony, and Rhodey.

“Hey, all I did was help jog Tony’s brain.” Rhodey pointed at the hologram readout of what was in the injection that would cure Steve. “All this stuff goes beyond my area of expertise, but if you got SHIELD and Tony telling you this will cure you. Then I say you have about a ninety-five percent chance that they are right. Worse case scenario? You are a werewolf twenty-four seven.”

Steve grimaced. “Exactly the kind of thing I like to hear.”

“Hey, Project Rebirth had even less likely odds,” Tony argued.

“Yeah, but failure didn’t result in turning me into a dog.”

“Technically you wouldn’t be a dog, Captain,” Fury said.

“Close enough.” Steve held out his arm toward Tony. “Not like I have much of a choice though. Inject me.”

“That’s the spirit!” Tony picked up a cotton ball and dabbed it in some rubbing alcohol before cleaning the spot where he’d insert the needle. Once cleaned and prepared, Tony shot Steve up with what he hoped to be the cure to this werewolf radiation disease, or whatever the hell SHILED decide to label it as.

Steve flexed his arm as Tony threw away the cotton ball and needle. “That was anticlimactic.”

“Unless you make things go boom, a lot of discoveries in science are like that. Quiet. Wonderful. Majestic.”

“Do we need to leave you alone with the lab equipment, Tony?” Rhodey joked.

“No, I learned my lesson with the bunsen burner back in college.”

“While I find this discussion hilarious and enlightening,” Fury cut in. “We still expect you to lock yourself up tonight, Captain. You should be fine, but no sense in taking unnecessary risks.”

“Are you trying to be ironic?” Steve asked.

Fury grinned knowingly. “Glad to see you still have your sense of humor.” Fury turned to go. “I expect all of you can take it from here?”

“Sure thing, dictator.”

Fury turned on Tony.

“Did I say that out loud?” Tony asked Rhodey.

Rhodey shook his head.

“Always a pleasure, Stark, and don’t think I forgot our last conversation.”

Tony stiffened. “Things are in a transient phase. I’ll update up you on any personal information once things have settled.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Fury nodded his head in acceptance then left.

“Well, unless you need me. I was promised waffles.” Rhodey headed for the exit.

Tony frowned. “Who promised you waffles?”

“Clint and Sam. I think they want someone to join their bird club or something. That or they are just decent human beings who make waffles for their friends, unlike some people.”

“Love you too, Rhodey. Save me a waffle.”

“Will do.” Rhodey left.

Which meant Steve and Tony were alone.

“So it looks like you talked to Bucky,” Steve said.

Tony hummed noncommittally as he put away the cotton balls and alcohol. “He was pretty reasonable once I let him cool down. We agreed this is an interim thing until we figure out what to do.”

Steve frowned. “But you’re going to keep your bond with him, right?”

“Yes, Stevie Wonder, for the time being we’re keeping the bond.”

“But—”

“Steve, we agreed that we weren’t going to push this on Bucky. A probationary month is a start. Let him warm up to the idea, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. Pressuring him is only going to make him more hesitant to accept me.”

“You two do seem to be getting along better. You don’t snap at each other, but I don’t see you hanging out a lot either.”

“Steve, it’s only been a couple of days, and Bucky and I were not glued at the hip before.” Tony patted Steve on the knee. “I know you’re excited, but don’t rush it. We’re big boys; we know how to handle ourselves, and we’ll move at our own pace.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Are you sure there isn’t something I can do?”

Tony smiled. “Steve, the less you are involved, the better.”


	11. Chapter 11

Tony knew the moment Steve was cleared for duty that Fury would assign Steve a mission. Fury—either because he wanted be extra cautious about sending in a once werewolf off to parts unknown by most of the world or because he decided Steve needed an extra grace period of rest—actually waited three days after Steve had received the cure to request Steve’s presence at SHIELD.

When Tony learned that Steve had been called away, he internally cheered.

With Steve around Tony had to act like he wasn’t avoiding Bucky, which he was. He was doing everything in his power to put distance between them so the bond wouldn’t strengthen. Time was not his friend, so he needed the bond to be as weak as possible before he could implement his plan.

That meant spending long hours in his lab and workshop, then coming out for a quick meal whenever Bucky was in the communal kitchen to create the illusion that he wasn’t hiding from Bucky.

Those times in the kitchen were awkward.

Bucky kept glancing at Tony like he expected Tony to rip off his face and reveal a terrible monster underneath, while Tony forced a smile and focused on only positive emotions. Tony sidestepped any questions about the bond, which luckily Bucky didn’t have many of anyway, so that made things a little easier on Tony. Although, Bucky’s tentativeness around him irked Tony. Bucky wasn’t one to shy away from things usually, and everything he said and did around Tony was with caution.

Tony wondered if Bucky sensed something from him, but Bucky never called Tony out on it, and knowing Bucky, if he had an inkling of what Tony had planned, he’d team up with Steve and the rest of the Avengers to stop Tony.

With that in mind, Tony hacked into SHIELD and monitored Steve and his debriefing with Fury. Natasha and Sam had tagged along and apparently were assigned to the same mission as Steve, which Tony was grateful for. The more people occupied with their own thing, the easier it would be for him to pull of his ploy.

Tony opened up the SHIELD file on Steve’s mission. “You makin’ a copy, FRIDAY?”

“Already done, Boss.”

“Good, let’s make a few alterations, then show them off to our friends who don’t going running off on SHIELD missions days after being rescued from an Island of evil and misery.”

“And what would you like to have altered, Boss?”

“Obviously they can’t have a successful mission without me, so I think you know what to do.” Tony grinned.

“Sure thing, Boss. At what time shall we put down that Fury requested your presence on this mission?”

“Let’s pretend he calls me up twenty minutes from now.”

“Taken care of.”

“Perfect.” Tony worked with FRIDAY to edit down the mission’s information to make it look like Tony had been given the bare minimum information and that he would be expected to report to Steve for further details upon arrival. After all, Fury would never send so much classified information without a direct link to Tony’s server; the man wasn’t lying when he’d described himself as paranoid. Tony made up a few things about some possible high tech weaponry in play and the need for more aerial support.

Tony looked over his doctored file and grinned to himself. “Excellent work, FRIDAY. We really do make a great team.”

“Thank you, Boss; although I do feel like I did most of the heavy lifting.”

“Pfft.” Tony waved her off. “Sweetie, someone needs to learn to share credit better. Now, have you uploaded the file to my tablet?”

“Yes, Boss.”

“Good. Now, if those nosy friends of mine start looking around for information on the mission what are you going to pull up for them?”

“I believe I know the answer to this one, Boss, but may I get a hint anyway?”

“You’re so sassy today, FRIDAY.”

“Well, it is Monday. No one likes Mondays.”

“But everyone loves Friday.”

“Oh, Boss, you’re so punny.”

“Thank you, now back to the serious stuff.”

Tony and FRIDAY went over the plan and once Tony was sure he had everything in place, he went up to his penthouse to clean up before tracking down Bucky to the communal floor—tablet in hand.

“Hey Bucky-babe!” Tony cheered as he strolled into the kitchen. He plucked an apple out from the bowl of fruit on the counter and bit into it. He perched against the counter. “Guess who has got great news?”

Bucky wrinkled his nose as he chopped celery. “Don’t talk with your mouth full; it’s disgusting.”

Tony took another bite of the apple, chewed, then opened his mouth so Bucky could see the half-eaten apple.

“Real mature.” Bucky batted playfully at Tony.

“You bet I am.” Tony swallowed the apple bite. “So guess already!”

“You and Rhodey have decided to elope? Or is it you and Steve?”

“Well, the second may not be so far off.”

Bucky paused in chopping his vegetable. “What do you mean?”

Tony rolled his eyes in feigned exasperation. “C’mon, Bucky. What have we been talking about since you and I have bonded? I need to kick you to the curb and get back with Steve.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed. He was looking at Tony in that distrusting way again, the one that was both distrustful and penetrating. “You and Steve are going to bond? Already?”

“Kind of have to.” Tony powered on his tablet and pulled up the fake SHIELD file. He passed the tablet to Bucky.

Bucky took the tablet and read over the file, his frown deepening has he skimmed it.

“Fury could not have made this decision. It’s stupid.” Bucky looked up from the tablet piercing Tony with a glare. “No one would be stupid enough to separate a newly bonded sentinel and guide. The distance would be enough to snap the bond.”

“Why do you think he’s been harassing me about our status? I finally came clean and told him about ditching you for Steve. He probably thought this would be the perfect time for Steve and me to rebond. Seems like adrenaline fueled situations really help me connect with people.”

Bucky shook his head. “No. This is too risky. If you and Steve don’t bond soon after the bond between us breaks then you’re going to be in no mental state for combat. He should have picked Rhodey.”

“He didn’t though. Rhodey is free right now; if Fury wanted Rhodey on this mission then he would have put Rhodey on it. There is probably more to it than what we see here. Fury’s an evil dictator, but I doubt he’d put my sanity and life in danger if there wasn’t a good reason. Plus, he probably has a contingency plan in place that he also left out of the file. He likes to be mysterious like that.”

Bucky chewed on his bottom lip. He scrolled through the file and shook his head. “I don’t believe this.”

Tony took the tablet from Bucky. “The man is a phone call away. Just ask FRIDAY and she’ll call him up right now.”

Bucky stared at Tony and shook his head in disbelief. “You can’t be this calm.”

“You’re the empath, so…”

“No.” Bucky shook his head again. “No, that’s exactly why I’m having such a hard time believing you. The last few days, everything I’ve been getting from you is…” Bucky motioned at Tony’s body. “…It’s been positive and happy, and you can’t be that happy.”

“Thanks,” Tony said sarcastically.

“And I am right, because I’ve heard your heart skip a beat and I’ve heard your heart rate skyrocket. Signs that you were nervous and surprised. Your shoulders and jaw have also been tense, all while you’ve been projecting this blanket of happiness. What are you hiding from me?”

Crap. Tony needed to alter his strategy. “Fear? Hurt? Anger? Frustration? Take your pick really.” Tony shrugged. “I’m just trying to make the best of a bad situation, Bucky. As I told you, I don’t want a partner who doesn’t want me, but dealing with the back and forth between you and Steve, and knowing that no one is one-hundred percent satisfied with this outcome takes a toll. I didn’t want to add my negative emotions to yours.”

“I would have been fine with it.”

“Oh?” Tony quirked an eyebrow and took another bite of his apple. “Because that’s not what you said before.”

Bucky grimaced. He rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah…well…I’m only going to be your guide for a little longer, so the least I can do is take on some of your emotions.”

Tony patted Bucky on the shoulder. “No need to strain yourself on my account.”

Bucky scowled. “It’s not a strain. It’s—“ Bucky cut himself off. He growled in frustration. “It’s… I don’t know. Just… I was jerk when we were talking about the bond and what to do about it. I—”

“I get it. You feel guilty and want to make it up to me, but, Bucky, I’m fine. There is nothing you can say or do at this point that is going to make things better, except to just let things play out the way they’re supposed to.”

“I still can’t believe that Fury would send you on a mission without me at this point.”

“Bucky, I didn’t have to inform you of the mission.” Tony clamped a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’m telling you, though, because I didn’t want to go away and have a few hours or a day from now you suddenly feel the bond break and you not know why. I didn’t want you to panic.”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m calling Fury.”

“Go for it.” Tony clapped Bucky’s shoulder and sauntered toward the kitchen’s exit. “But I was supposed to leave upon receiving orders, so I’m going now. I’ll be flying in the Iron Man suit though, so if you learn something new or Fury changes his mind just have FRIDAY call me up, okay?”

“Will do.” Bucky nodded then stared at the ceiling. “All right, you super computer, call the big scary guy with the billowing trench coat.”

“Right away, Mr. Barnes.”

Tony headed out of the room. Everything was going according to plan. Bucky was going to talk to “Fury” and FRIDAY, using audio clips from the man in question, was going to confirm that Tony was assigned to the mission, and that Bucky would not be coming along.

It had been a little touch and go, but Tony had pulled off the first part of his plan.

As Tony stepped into the elevator to get his Iron Man suit his heart lurched.

He wanted to say goodbye to Rhodey.

Except Rhodey had always been so damn perceptive when it came to Tony.

Tony couldn’t risk it. It was risky enough that he’d confronted Bucky. He really should have just left and let FRIDAY deliver the information, but Tony had wanted to see the first half of his plan through. FRIDAY would take care of everything else now.

Tony sucked in a deep breath as the elevator opened to his lab.

Time to pick out a suit.

* * *

Tony spent several hours just flying west and focusing on breaking his bond with Bucky. It wasn’t easy, contrary to how everyone on the Internet and Self Help Books tried to make it sound. He had to imagine himself severing a literal bond between him and Bucky, but while his imagination came up with a lot of clever images, it wasn’t until he was halfway over the country that Tony felt the sharp snap of his and Bucky’s bond.

For a second Tony couldn’t breath. The night sky speckled in stars and the lack of oxygen sent his brain reeling to a place he rather not have it. Tony gasped for breath and waited for his panic attack to subside. When it did, he felt weak and sickly, and loathed himself for showing such weakness, even if he was the only around to witness it.

He flew back to New York.

Tony stopped just outside of the city. He took the armor off and commanded it to fold into a brief case. Once that was done, he bought a burner phone and hailed a cab.

Tony tensed with each passing second as the cab drove closer to a familiar neighborhood that Tony only ventured into when hosting a specific charity event—one for the Maria Stark Foundation.

The cab pulled up to the old Stark Manor, and Tony exhaled heavily. He paid the driver and trudged up the path to his old home’s doorstep.

He swallowed hard as he walked into the cold, dark, home.

The house was sparely furnished, just a few pieces kept around after one of the fundraisers for the Maria Stark Foundation. The only reason the place wasn’t covered in dust was because Tony paid for a housecleaning team to come in twice a month.

He’s already canceled all of his appointments with the house cleaning service.

Tony pulled out his burner phone and dialed FRIDAY as he headed to the back of the house. “How’s everything going, FRIDAY?”

“Mr. Barnes attempted to contact Captain Rogers after speaking with Fury. I used audio from Captain Rogers in the past to assure Mr. Barnes that you and Mr. Rogers have been spending some time together and that he is confident you two will form a new bond. Mr. Barnes tentatively accepted the answer. Colonel Rhodes is not happy about your departure or mission, but he has yielded. Mr. Barnes though has been pacing for the last several hours. Has your bond broken, boss?”

“It has.”

“I see…” Tony didn’t remember programming FRIDAY to express worry, but his AI’s were quite advanced and very capable when it came to learning. “Boss, you designed me to take care of you, and I find that your recent commands put your mental and physical health in danger.”

“I’ve already overridden any protocols that would force you stop this from happening, FRIDAY.” Tony found the door that lead to the lower half of the house, and to a special room that Howard had been forced to use when Maria and him had been fighting and his senses got overwhelmed.

“Understood, Boss; however, I feel that must attempt to urge you to—”

“Follow the commands I gave you before I left, FRIDAY. Keep up the mission charade as long as possible. Don’t give away my location or any information that could lead the others to me, and if anyone or anything attacks, use the spare Iron Man suits to help the Avengers.”

“But Boss—”

“Sing Me to Sleep Protocol, FRIDAY.”

“Yes, Boss.”

Tony hit the end call button on his phone and he stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

He reached out and patted the wall to his left, searching for the light switch. When he found it, he flipped it.

Florescent lights filled the room, and across from Tony was a cell much like the one designed for the Hulk.

Tony had always hoped to go down fighting. Losing his mind in his old family home? Not ideal, but safer for everyone else.

Tony dropped the phone a pail nearby and headed into the cell. He set the door to lock behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short. Next chapter though is already at 5K and still being written.

Tony had forgotten to bring food.

The little voice in his head that liked to psychoanalyze himself questioned if he’d forgotten or subconsciously chosen to “forget” to bring food and water into the containment room.

He’d locked it from the outside, so there was no way out for him.

So he had three days.

Well, wasn’t that just charming?

Tony’s stomach churned with worry and self-loathing. This was not the way he’d wanted things to play out. He could tell himself over and over again that being back in his old home made things better, but as the minutes passed with nothing to do but stare at the walls, Tony couldn’t lie to himself anymore.

He didn’t want this. He wanted to go out fighting or peacefully in his sleep from old age.

What he was doing was now was crazy.

Maybe he’d been wrong to think the bond with Bucky was making him better. This was the most insane thing he’d ever done.

He was just so sick of it though. Sick of being dependent on someone else. Sick of having to be tolerated.

Didn’t he deserve the right to just end this mess of life before it got worse?

He’d done his good deeds. He’d become Iron Man and saved people. He’d turned Stark Industries into a business for clean energy and already doing so much to improve the world.

It didn’t make up for all the lives that had been ruined because of him and his company, but at least he’d made some stride toward doing the right thing.

Except…

Tony thought of Ultron and all the damage that had done. He thought about all the people who had been hurt after he’d become Iron Man. He thought about Pepper and how hard he’d work to keep them together only for things to fall apart in the end because with every good thing he tried to do he did two or more terrible things.

How many years now had he been doing this dance of trying to help others and bring peace and all that stuff he once would have called “hippie bullshit,” and how many times had he ended screwing something up?

Maybe the reason why he couldn’t bond with any guides besides Bucky and Steve were because he wasn’t a sentinel after all?

What kind of sentinel fucked up the way he did or even as much as he did?

What kind of person?

He’d done what he could. The world was better without him now.

* * *

Tony’s stomach rumbled.

He licked his dry lips.

He closed his head and slumped against the wall of his cell.

There was a mouse in the attic. It nibbled on something soft and plastic, stopping every few seconds to listen for a predator or threat before going back to gnawing.

Its heartbeat was fast and its tail swished impatiently on the floor.

It was a poor substitute for a guide, but Tony used its vital signs to keep himself coherent a few hours longer.

* * *

The speck on the clear cell walls was driving Tony bonkers.

He kept rubbing at the black speck with the hem of his shirt but it wouldn’t go away. It must be on the other side of the containment room. It must be, so there was no way Tony could get to it, but—

Tony kept rubbing at the speck. He rubbed at it until the threads on his shirt began to fray and his knuckles turned red from rubbing them against his cage so much.

* * *

The dust particles danced so beautifully in the air. Truly breathtaking.

There were so many, and if he weren’t so focused on them he’d never have seen just how magnificent they really were.

“Dance” wasn’t just a poetic word he’d chosen. The particles drifted through the air with a grace that one would not expect from what would be considered mundane. No, they were spectacular and could be the inspiration to so much art in the world if others would just stop and focus.

Tony was distantly aware that his constant focusing caused his head to pound and the corner of his eyes to go fuzzy and well with tears, but he didn’t care.

It was all so lovely.

* * *

One of his armors had landed just outside his home; he could tell by the whirrs and clank of the metal plates.

Tony tensed.

No one was supposed to be here, not even one of his armors.

Tony fingers curled into fists.

He ran at his cage, only to slam into the wall and fall flat on his back.

Tony’s blood boiled and he bit his lip. The taste of cooper filled his mouth as he rushed at the wall again and slammed his fist on it.

His home! Someone was invading his home! And they were using his armor to do it.

Tony growled and kicked at the walls holding him. He clawed at the door and rammed into it.

“Tony?” Rhodey’s slightly altered voice came from the war machine armor.

Rhodey stepped down the stairs leading into the sublevel room, his faceplate lifted.

The florescent light hit the War Machine armor and Tony froze as the light made the armor shine and bounced off the armor to create little patches of light along the walls.

Tony stared, entranced by the shine and the lights.

He startled when the door to his prison was opened and Rhodey stepped inside.

_Intruder!_

Tony lashed out. He jumped back and kicked the intruder square in the metal chest as he’d seen one of his previous guides do to several opponents.

The intruder stumbled and shouted his name.

Tony aimed for a punch for the one place the intruder was vulnerable: the face.

The intruder seized Tony by the wrist, stopping him in time.

The intruder pleaded with Tony, but Tony would not be stopped.

He had to protect his domain.

Tony used the intruder’s hold to perform an acrobatic move. He threw his weight back, forcing the intruder to outstretch his arm and bend down, then Tony flung his weight around so his leg slammed into the intruder’s helmet and kicked it off his head.

The intruder yelped in surprise. He barreled into Tony.

Tony screamed in frustration and grabbed at the wires and plates along the intruder’s shoulders as the intruder pinned him to a wall.

The armor the intruder wore beeped and whirred as Tony took it apart like a wild animal.

The intruder dropped Tony, and Tony landed on his the balls of his feet, ready to spring into action, but before he could tackle his opponent, the intruder got Tony in a chokehold.

Tony grunted and gasped as he tugged at the metal arm around his windpipe.

The corners of his vision turned black.

He jabbed his elbow into the intruder’s side, causing himself agonizing pain.

He blacked out.

* * *

“You tied him up?” A familiar deep cadence stirred Tony from oblivion.

“He attacked Rhodey,” another familiar voice said—heartbeat wild and blood rushing. Anger. “It may have only been about forty-eight hours, but he’s been running borderline for so long without you he just snapped. He had to be restrained.”

Cuffs on his wrists. Metal. His design based on the metal’s contours. Tony tugged on the cuffs and growled deep and low when he was met with resistance.

He opened his eyes only to scream in pain and curl up in a ball as the light blinded him.

“Tony!”

His name came out too sharp and loud.

Cars. Buses. Subways. Trains. Birds. Cats. Dogs. People. It was all too much. His ears. Oh god, it felt like someone was taking a drill to them to get to his brain.

A one metal and one flesh hand cupped Tony’s face, covering his ears. Someone kneeled over him, blocking the light that even through his eyelids tried to burn out his retinas.

A forehead pressed against his and lips hovered over his own, allowing Tony to feel every inhalation the person above him took.

Person.

Person!

He wasn’t supposed to be around people! He’d hurt them! He’d—

“Clint,” the deep and familiar voice from before cut through the rest of the noise, somehow leveling out the other sounds so they became distant background noises again. “Clint, help me.”

The second voice cursed, and the soft cushions beneath Tony dipped as a second person came close to him.

Tony flailed and bucked, trying to dislodge the person on top of him.

Suddenly the person on top of him flung himself down on Tony.

Tony froze.

His head was right next to the person’s neck. The smell of metal, oil, gunpowder, and earth lulled Tony’s heartbeat to slow and match those of the person on top him.

The person on top of him cupped the back of Tony’s head and encouraged Tony to bury his nose in the crook of the person’s neck.

Tony hesitated.

He shouldn’t be near people, but that smell… something about it was so comforting and…

Tony buried his nose into the person’s neck.

The person sighed and stroked Tony’s head.

The second person who had taken residence next to Tony let out a breath of relief. “Thank god. I was worried we’d—”

The person on top of Tony shushed the other one.

Person Two stiffened, which in turn made Tony tense.

Person Two quickly relaxed. “Should I stay, or…”

“In his state, he might need two guides to calm him if he acts up again.”

Tony let out an indignant sound.

“Okay, but I’m getting his third bag now while he is calm.”

“Clint—”

“His hydration levels are still low, and bag number two is almost out. Don’t worry. You’re not going to break him in the five minutes I’m gone.”

The person on top of Tony tensed.

Tony grumbled incoherently in displeasure.

Person Two shifted and left, leaving Tony alone with the one on top of him.

The person on top wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist and squeezed. “I think I already broke you. I’m sorry.”

Tony grumbled and nuzzled closer to that fantastic smell.

* * *

Nice Smelling Person rarely left Tony’s side.

It seemed like Nice Smelling Person only left to use the bathroom. Otherwise he would eat in bed with Tony, and if his muscles felt sore, he’d stand and stretch right next to where Tony was forced to rest. Nice Smelling Person’s scent got stronger the more time he spent with Tony—indicating that the man was not bathing. His smell was also becoming tainted with Tony’s, and Tony could not deny that he took a certain thrill in that.

Nice Smelling Person was his.

It delighted Tony until something in his head clicked.

Nice Smelling Person was a guide.

Tony wasn’t good enough for a guide. All he ever did was hurt and burden his guides.

Tony shoved Nice Smelling Person away.

Nice Smelling Person gasped in surprise as he was thrown off the bed and hit the floor. “Tony, why did you—”

“No.” Tony trembled and gripped the sheets. “No.”

Nice Smelling Person’s heartbeat skipped and sweat broke out across his skin, strengthening his scent even more.

Tony whimpered, wanting so much to smother himself in that smell but knowing that he couldn’t. He couldn’t hurt another guide.

“Are you hurt?” Hands cupped Tony’s face.

Stormy blue eyes met Tony’s then flicked to the needle in Tony’s arm, connecting Tony to a bag of mush that the person called food.

“No.” Tony pulled his head out from the guide’s hands.

The guide fisted the bed sheets and bit his bit bottom, tugging the flesh of his lip taut. “Are you hot? Do you need a fan? Do you have a fever?”

The guide tried to cover Tony’s forehead with the back of his hand but Tony jerked away.

“Don’t.”

Heartbreak formed on the guide’s face. The guide looked away as his heart gave low beat indicative of sorrow. “Right. I understand. Let me get Clint instead.”

The guide rose to leave, and Tony couldn’t stop himself. He grabbed the guide’s metal wrist and yanked the guide back onto the bed. Tony quickly scooted away, trying to create distance between them.

His own heart pounded wildly and his head throbbed. He needed to protect the guide from himself and push the guide away, but if he pushed the guide away then Nice Smelling Person would be sad and Tony didn’t want that either.

A plaintive sound of distress broke through Tony as he curled up and grabbed his throbbing skull.

Nice Smelling Person curled around him and held Tony close. He made soothing sounds. “It’s okay, I won’t go anywhere if you don’t want me to.”

Tony let out another distress sound. “You should,” Tony rasped.

Nice Smelling Person shifted to get a better view of Tony. “I should what?”

“Go,” Tony croaked.

“Do you want me to?”

Tony whined.

Nice Smelling Person hugged Tony tighter and didn’t leave.

* * *

Tony’s person was panicking. His person’s heartbeat had skyrocketed and once again his sweat glands were secreting.

Tony growled and rolled on top of his person and pushed them back against the headboard.

His person gasped in surprise.

The intruder in his and his person’s room stopped just within the doorway. The intruder was blond like the second guide who entered the room on occasion and who his person called Clint. This intruder was also a guide. Big and smelling like he’d just spent hours trapped on some sort of aircraft based on the type of oil smell he was covered in and the numerous other smells he brought with him.

He also smelled like sugar and that Irish Spring soap that was popular.

Like a lighter refusing to light, something was clicking in Tony’s head but he wasn’t getting a flame.

“Tony,” Sugar said, caution and worry in his voice.

Tony sneered at him.

“Tony.” Sugar gestured at himself. “It’s me, Steve.”

“He doesn’t recognize people yet. At least not by appearance or name,” Tony’s person said, his heartbeat still rapid.

Tony reached down and squeezed his person’s leg comfortingly. He’d protect them from this intruder.

Sugar held up his hands in a show of no harm. “I’m not going to hurt anyone, Tony. I just want to make sure you’re safe. You had me scared. When Bucky and the others contacted me about your so called ‘mission’ and we realized what you were doing, I about lost it myself.” Sugar took a slow step toward Tony and craned his neck. He gestured to the vulnerable area of flesh. “If you need to, smell me.”

Tony did not know what to make of this intruder. They didn’t appear to be threatening his person, but his person was still frightened.

Tony grumbled. He loosened his muscles, but held his protective stance in front of his person.

“Sorry,” his person hung his head low. “I think he is reacting to me.” His person buried his face in his palms and groaned. “God, Steve, I fucked up so bad. What if this is it for Tony? What if he never recovers? I ruined his life and all because I was an idiot.”

Tony threw himself at his person, wrapping his arms around them and squeezing as tight as he could. He nuzzled their cheeks together.

The mixture of salt and water alerted Tony to the tears gathering in his person’s eyes.

Tony just held on even more.

* * *

His person had been offering Tony a bite of his eggs for breakfast when Tony felt it.

That feeling of someone in the back of his head, that connection and tether to another person.

His person—his guide gasped.

Tony clenched his fists and looked away in shame.

He wasn’t supposed to have a guide. He’d destroy any guide he’d have. He needed to go far away and break the connection. He needed to—

Tony had started to climb out of bed when his guide yanked him into a hug and tucked Tony’s head under his chin. “It’s okay. You’re not going to harm me. It’s fine, Tony. Please, just stay.”

Tony frowned, not understanding his new guide at all. Why couldn’t he see—

Metal, gunpowder, oil, and something earthy: that was his guide’s smell. That had been his previous guide’s smell too.

Oh.

Same guide.

So Tony hadn’t destroyed his last one.

That… that was comforting, albeit confusing.

Tony frowned harder.

His guide sighed. “I’m confused too, but I want you to stay. Promise you’ll stay? At least until things get better.”

Tony still didn’t understand, but if this was his guide, former and present, then he’d do what he could to make his guide happy.

Tony nodded and fisted his guide’s shirt so he could pull his guide closer.

* * *

Bucky.

Tony stared at Bucky’s face. The man had been sleeping seconds ago, but based on his breathing patterns he was awake now, but refusing to open his eyes.

Tony was thankful for the illusion of slumber, because he really needed the next several hours to make sense of everything.

He remembered bits and pieces of what had happened, but so much of it was a blank mess or various senses.

And Bucky and him were bonded again.

Guilt rammed Tony through like a javelin, and he was paralyzed with fear and indecision.

Keeping his eyes closed, Bucky reached out and grabbed Tony’s hand and held it.

Tony squeezed back. “You weren’t supposed to be stuck with me,” he mumbled.

Bucky squirmed closer so his chin rested on Tony’s shoulder. “Rather be stuck with you then lose you.”

“Rather you not be stuck with me.”

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand harder and ran his thumb across Tony’s knuckles. “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong.”

“Because I’m an asshole, and sometimes I get tunnel vision just as bad as Steve.”

“I won’t argue with you there,” Tony grumbled.

Bucky sighed. “Can we just stay like this for a little while longer?”

“Only if you promise to take a shower afterwards.”

“Promise.”


	13. Chapter 13

Showering was awkward.

At least, intellectually Tony knew it was supposed to be awkward. Emotionally he was just too worn down to care.

Bucky was seated on the bathroom floor with his back pressed against the sink’s cupboard, and purposefully looking away.

When Bucky had gotten up to shower, he’d hesitated at the edge of the bed. Slowly, he’d pushed himself up.

Bucky had only taken two steps before something in Tony’s chest clenched and his hands trembled. Tony cursed and clutched his hands together.

Bucky was suddenly there and holding Tony’s hands. The tremors died down a minute later.

Bucky had tried to move away again, but every time Tony’s body shook at his absence.

It had been embarrassing, and Tony had wanted to bury himself in the covers and pretend the world didn’t exist. The only reason why Tony hadn’t was because Bucky had been his charming asshole-ish self.

Bucky flipped back the blankets and tugged Tony to the edge of the bed. “Come on. If I smell, then your reek. You’ve only been getting damp washcloths baths the whole time you’ve been out of it. You need a shower too.”

“What is this? Some RomCom? A Porno? You trying to take a shower with me and see the goods, Barnes?”

“I was thinking we’ll take turns, but if you’re so determined to get your hands on me that you’re now projecting your desires onto me, then perhaps I will have to sacrifice myself for the greater good and join you. Up.” Bucky lifted Tony out of bed and to his feet. “I’ll even go first so you don’t have to wait one more second to marvel at my physique.”

Tony scoffed. “Your physique is not that impressive.”

Bucky smirked. “Say that after you see me naked.”

Bucky had kept his promised and showered first. Tony had kept his head turned slightly away as Bucky cleaned himself. It was a little harder to avoid seeing flashes of Bucky’s privates when the super soldier went to get towel and wrapped it around his waist.

Tony was secure enough to admit that Bucky could probably have his pick of any partner with his attributes.

Too bad the guy wasn’t much for dating since Hydra.

“You’re thinking about me,” Bucky mumbled from his spot on the floor, his head turned so he was looking at the exit and not at Tony.

Tony hummed as the hot spray pelted him. The warmth of the water loosened his muscles and eased his bed aches. He ran his fingers through his hair as he lathered his short locks with shampoo. “You can tell?”

Bucky wrinkled his nose. “The emotions I get from you are different when you’re thinking about me.”

Worry gnawed at Tony. He dropped his hands from his hair and looked at Bucky. “Does it bother you? I can try to make it stop.”

Bucky sat up straighter and turned his head toward Tony, only to swivel it back into place when he got an eyeful of Tony’s nakedness. “No. I just…” Bucky clenched his jaw, struggling for words. He tried again. “I just wasn’t expecting it after everything that happened. I had expected our connection to be weaker.”

“Well, we spent how much time in a bed together after we bonded?”

“More just a couple of days more.”

“Huh?” Tony said, feeling oddly calm about the whole scenario. “Weird. Proximity helps, but I still would have expected only to experiences signs of a strengthening bond after seventy-two hours.”

Bucky bowed his head. “The bond may have formed about two days ago, but we’ve been in that bed for over a week.”

Tony closed his eyes and let the water wash over him.

All it took was closing his eyes and suddenly Bucky’s presence in the back of his mind was so much stronger and radiant. He could focus on it all day. He wanted to. He wanted—

Bucky was standing under the spritz with Tony and holding Tony’s hands, the water drenching him after having just dried himself minutes ago.

Tony blinked as he stared up into stormy eyes.

“Did I just zone out?”

“I think so.”

Tony frowned. “But I focused on you. I thought focusing on you was supposed to do the opposite and stop me from zoning out.”

“I think you’re still recovering and not everything is working properly.” Bucky bowed his head. “Sorry.”

Tony shrugged, once again unable to find the energy to care.

Bucky frowned and studied Tony’s face. He cussed and pulled Tony into a hug, wrapping his arms around Tony. “You’re shaking and numb.”

“Numb?” Tony repeated while he glanced down at himself. His knees were quaking, but it wasn’t so bad.

“Emotionally,” Bucky explained. “Come on. Let’s get a towel on you and set you down somewhere before you—”

Tony’s knees gave out and Bucky yanked Tony to himself just before Tony could hit the shower floor.

“ _That_ ,” Bucky grumbled. He shook his head. “I’m going to princess carry you on three, understood?”

“I don’t need to be princess carried.”

“Not even if I got Rhodey?”

Tony thought it over.

Bucky took advantage of the moment and swung Tony up into his arms. “Sorry. You’ll have to make do with me.”

Tony huffed and flopped his head against Bucky, not caring.

God, he felt tired.

Bucky set Tony on the bed. He moved to leave, but Tony latched onto Bucky’s wrist, his whole body shaking.

“Please,” Tony’s teeth chattered. Panic pierced his heart as his body went cold. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

A litany of profanity poured out of Bucky’s mouth as he urged Tony to the middle of the bed. “Don’t know what’s going on either, but this might help.” He grabbed the blankets and cocooned Tony and himself in them so tight, they were pressed chest to chest without any space in between.

Tony’s teeth stopped chattering but the tiny tremors wracking his body continued.

Tony rested his forehead on Bucky’s shoulder and gripped the elbow of Bucky’s metal arm.

The slick and smooth feel of the metal under his fingertips mixed together with Bucky’s presence and scent stopped the shaking.

Tony sighed in relief, but a bit of fear still clung to him.

“We can ask FIRDAY to look into it, but I think we’re going to have to stay close for a while,” Bucky said, his warm breath tickling Tony’s forehead.

“Bond loss trauma, you think?” Tony suggested. “Similar symptoms, except usually forming a bond, even a weak one, is enough to stave it off, and ours is growing.”

“Yeah, but bond loss trauma usually occurs with death or other tragedies. Not many people who suffer from it get a chance to rebond with their original partner.”

Tony lifted his head. “FRIDAY, look into this.”

“Will do, boss.”

Tony sighed and squeezed Bucky’s arm.

“Sorry.”

Tony scowled. “Stop saying that. I made my decision.”

“And you’re saying nothing I said or did factored into that decision?”

Tony pushed at Bucky’s chest. “I don’t want talk about this if I can’t storm out when you piss me off.”

“Then just let me apologize.”

Tony glared at Bucky.

Bucky glared back.

They held each others’ stares for a long time before breaking.

Bucky huffed as he pulled Tony closer. “Is it messed up that after feeling that numbness from you I am sort of happy to feel your anger?”

“Masochist.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Only for you.”

“Awesome. I’ll get the whips and chains.”

“I prefer candle wax.”

“…Are you serious?”

Bucky sighed and lowered his forehead onto Tony’s. “Tony, we’re naked in bed together. Now is not the time to ask these sorts of questions.”

“Now is the perfect time! We’re naked!”

Bucky shook his head, but Tony could feel the silent chuckle reverberating in Bucky’s chest.

* * *

“I’m fine,” Tony yanked on Bucky’s hand—the closest motion he could perform that was as aggressive as shoving Bucky’s hand away. A part of him really wanted to slap that hand away, but his more raw and sensitive side yearned for extra contact and support.

Bucky’s brow furrowed as he stared at their interlocked hands and dissected the emotions he was picking up from Tony.

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand tighter while running his metal on through his hair in exasperation. “You know I can tell that you’re lying, right?”

“You couldn’t before,” Tony sassed without thinking.

Bucky flinched and dropped Tony’s hand so fast, Tony scrambled to grab it again and drew Bucky back toward him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

Bukcy shook his head and looked away. “Yeah, you did.”

Tony’s cheeks inflated in indignation. “But not like that! Not in the I blame you way, but in the… in the it happened way. Nothing is your fault.”

Bucky snorted in disbelief, still not meeting Tony’s eyes.

Tony took another step toward Bucky, the only thing blocking them from standing chest to chest was the their interlocked hands.

Tony leaned sideways, angling his head so he appeared in Bucky’s line of vision, their noses two inches apart. “Hey.”

Bucky yanked his head back, but at least he didn’t look away from Tony.

“Hey,” Tony tried again. “No being a downer on my first day out this room since…well, you know when.”

Bucky nodded. “Right.” He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “You sure you’re ready?”

“No, but even I know I can’t avoid this forever. Also, kind of don’t want to. I am so sick of this room. I’m going to have it repainted. Maybe get some new furniture too. Also, pictures. I need pictures of…”

Bucky’s thumb brushed Tony’s knuckles.

Tony stared, forgetting the rest of the world as he became enraptured by Bucky’s movements.

Disappointment hit him square the chest when Bucky stopped.

“Sorry,” Bucky apologized again.

Tony scowled. “I’m really starting to hate that word.” Tony tugged Bucky to the exit. “Come on, I’m getting out of this room now.”

The first part when it came to leaving was intimidating, but easy. Leaving his bedroom to enter his the living room of his penthouse was a small challenge. No one was on his floor but him and Bucky; although, there were clues left about that told Tony quite a few of his teammates had at one point or another shown up during his…episode.

Tony shook his head, not wanting to think about the matter.

He hauled Bucky over to the elevator and stepped inside it.

Tony’s heart rate quickened, and suddenly he was being hugged by Bucky.

Tony groaned as his pride cried out in fury, but everyone other part of him sighed in bliss. He could soak his senses in Bucky, let himself feel calm, and revel in the wondrous connection in the back of his head.

He really _could_. FRIDAY had found only the tiniest amount research done on partners who suffered from traumatic bond loss and were able to reconnect, and it was common for all of them to go through a stage in which the two parties needed constant physical contact. The sentinels also reported getting lost in their guides often, while guides admitted to being far more sensitive to their partners’ emotions and unable to block them out. It was like the bond was working over time to reaffirm that the guide and sentinel were connected.

And that was it.

There weren’t any hidden repercussions that came whether Bucky or Tony chose to or chose not to act on their impulses. If Tony wanted to, he could spend the entire day with his eyes closed and just listening to Bucky’s heartbeat and all would be fine. He wouldn’t become obsessed with Bucky or anything of the sort.

Also, he wasn’t going crazy again.

Tony’s hands shook as he brought them up. The temptation to grab the back of Bucky’s shirt and fist the material there was great.

Tony gritted his teeth and pushed down the temptation.

Bucky let out a noise of pain.

Tony couldn’t stop himself then. He grabbed chunks of the back of Bucky’s shirt and pulled Bucky so close to him they were plastered together. He rested his forehead on Bucky’s shoulder and breathed in Bucky’s intoxicating and calming scent.

Bucky returned the favor, and Tony inwardly preened as Bucky sucked in his scent too.

The elevator doors slid open.

Tony knew without looking that Clint and Natasha were the ones in the communal living room, and that the two were staring at him and Bucky.

Embarrassment flowed through Tony, and once again he was of two minds. The ever-present side of himself that wanted Bucky wrapped around him constantly and his sense of pride and independence.

He was acting too needy and clingy, and—

Bucky nuzzled Tony’s neck and Tony melted as Bucky’s stubble scraped across his neck and just under his jaw a tad.

“Wow,” Clint said. “You two are like an octopus.”

Natasha punched Clint.

“Ow! Like you weren’t thinking it.”

“Thinking it and saying it are two very different things.”

Tony turned just enough so that his head ended up tucked under Bucky’s chin as he glared over his shoulder at Clint. “Jealous?”

From his spot on the living room couch, Clint eyed Tony and Bucky then glanced at Natasha.

Natasha cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.

Clint shrugged.

Tony sighed, annoyed how once again Clint and Natasha demonstrated how they were the perfect sentinel and guide pair. How were they always able to communicate without speaking? Even an empathic bond on the guide’s part could not be enough. Clint must be able to read Natasha’s mind or vice versa, because _really_ those two were just ridiculously too skilled at reading each other.

Bucky lifted his head and craned his neck back to look Tony over. His face scrunched in confusion.

“What?” Tony asked.

Bucky’s eyes flickered to Natasha and Clint then to Tony. His gaze lit up with understanding, and the arms wrapped around Tony held him a little tighter. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Tony huffed in annoyance, and extracted himself from Bucky’s embrace while slipping his hand back into Bucky’s.

He pulled Bucky over to the second couch. He dropped himself into the corner of the couch and tugged Bucky down beside him. “FRIDAY pull up the news.” Tony turned to Clint and Natasha. “Unless you two want to watch something else?”

“Okay, so we are not going to talk about what happened,” Clint stated.

Natasha flicked Clint’s ear.

Clint snatched up her hand and squeezed her fingers before letting them go. “What? It’s a fair question. Tony practically attempts suicide and all of us are supposed to ignore it?”

Clint’s word sucker punched Tony.

Bucky pressed his side against Tony’s, becoming a physical; barricade between Tony and Clint.

“Yes,” Bucky and Natasha said in unison.

Clint’s expression soured. He opened his mouth to speak, but Natasha squeezed his shoulder and cut him off.

“There will be a major discussion later.” Natasha looked at Tony with a promise in her eyes. “For now though, let Tony get acclimated.”

Tony huffed. He wrapped his arms around Bucky. He dragged Bucky’s upper body down so it lay against Tony’s. Tony’s hands rested on Bucky’s abdomen. A quiet voice in Tony’s brain pointed out that he was holding Bucky like a teddy bear. “I’m not made of glass.”

“Tony,” Natasha stated his name flatly. “This isn’t a question of strength, this is a question about emotional recovery, and based on how touchy you and Bucky are right now, I suspect you aren’t as fully recovered as you’d like us to think.”

Tony scoffed and tucked half his face behind Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re boring. You bore me. FRIDAY, where is my news programming?”

“Right away, Boss.” The TV turned on to a local news station that was talking about a cat trapped in a tree.

Tony settled into the couch. Unable to sit completely still, he drummed his fingers across Bucky’s abdomen.

Clint stood up and stretched. “Okay, well, I have too much on my mind now to sit still. Nat, gym?”

Natasha nodded. She followed Clint to the exit, but stopped to speak to Tony. “I am glad you are safe.”

Tony grunted in response.

Clint and Natasha left, and Tony’s insides swirled with guilt and indecision. Perhaps it would have been better to hold off on leaving his room. Emotions were higher than he had anticipated.

Bucky laced his fingers with Tony. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worrying about anything.”

“Whatever you say.”

Tony poked Bucky’s cheek. “Don’t call me a liar.”

“I never used the word ‘liar.’”

“You implied it.”

“Nope,” Bucky popped the ‘p’. “By the way, I think that’s the third time this week that same cat has gotten caught in a tree.” Bucky nodded at the TV screen.

“Yeah?” Tony asked.

“Dumb cat.”

“Cats are majestic creatures.”

“And stupid as hell.”

“I’m divorcing you.”

“You’re not even married to me.”

“I’ll marry you then divorce you.”

“Only if I get to pick out the honeymoon.”

Tony was about to respond when he heard the elevator shoot up. It had risen past the lower floors of the tower and had gone past some of the personal floors of the Avengers. It stopped on the communal living room floor, right where Tony and Bucky were.

The elevator doors opened and Rhodey entered the room.

Tony’s heart lurched. The desire to launch himself at his best friend and hide in a corner warred inside him.

There was no scowl or frown on Rhodey’s face, but Tony could tell by the way Rhodey carried himself that he was furious.

Rhodey nodded upon seeing Tony then turned to go. “Good, you really are at least somewhat back to normal.”

“Rhodey, wait.” Tony shoved Bucky off of him, but kept a hand on Bucky’s shoulder to maintain contact. “I…That was a great chokehold you preformed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a master of martial arts or anything like that—although I could be—but really, someone would have to be an idiot not see—”

“Tony,” Rhodey cut him off. “I’m so pissed off right now. I have been worried about you for days, and have not been able to be angry. Now that I know you’re safe, please, just let me be angry.”

Tony’s heart was crushed. “Honeybear.”

Rhodey held up his hand. “If you say anything else to me right now, I’m going to tear you a new hole, and I don’t want to do that. You and Bucky do…” Rhodey’s face scrunched up. “You know what? No. I am going to comment on this.” He pointed at Bucky and Tony. “This is fucked up. You two are acting like nothing happened. I bet you two haven’t even discussed anything about this second bond between you two, which honestly, I’m not so sure if it’s healthy for you two to be bonded again.”

It was like Rhodey was wringing out Tony’s heart. A stone like lump formed in Tony’s throat, and underneath his fingers he felt Bucky tremble with emotion. His quickened heartbeat mingled with Bucky’s.

They were both in distress.

And so was Rhodey. His heart beat just as frantically and his limbs trembled minutely with contained emotion.

Tony sucked in a deep breath, knowing he had to make the situation right but not sure how. “I get that.”

“Do you?” Rhodey asked. “Do you really understand how important it is for you two talk this thing over and not just play pretend like it’s sunshine and kittens? Because not talking is exactly what led to this mess in the first place, and it’s what is going to lead to it again. And, and—” Rhodey closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to yell at you. I don’t even want to fight with you right now, so just…let me go for now.”

Tony nodded even as fear turned his blood cold.

Bucky reach up and clasped Tony’s hand on his shoulder.

Regret creased Rhodey’s face. “You two should talk. Not just with each other, but with Steve too. You should also get a mediator since last time went so well.”

“Got any suggestions?” Tony asked.

The corner of Rhodey’s mouth quirked as if he were about to grin. “Give me a couple of days, and I can get you a mediator. Until then though, I’m going to mind my own business.”

And with that Rhodey left.

His departure stung, but Tony would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t understand why Rhodey reacted they way he had.

He’d be furious too if he ever learned that Rhodey had tried to throw his life away.

Then he’d probably grab all his alcohol and drown himself in it until he felt numb.

Rhodey was handling the situation much better than Tony ever could.

Tony flopped onto the couch and curled into Bucky’s side. He closed his eyes and breathed deep.

Bucky plopped his head against Tony’s and also sucked in a deep breath. “You want to stay down here for a little longer or do you feel like retreating for now?”

Tony snorted. “Would you judge me if I said I rather go back to the penthouse?”

“Not at all.”

* * *

The problem with spending so much time alone (with the exception of Bucky) for those first couple of days was that it allowed him to think. Think about the bond to be specific. Rhodey was right. At some point Tony and Bucky were going to have to discuss it. The problem was, Tony didn’t know what he wanted anymore.

After almost losing himself completely to his senses, he didn’t want to go through that again, but he was still left with the moral question of whether it was right to force a bond between him and Bucky or him and Steve if neither of the two guides wanted him as a sentinel. Everything told him it was wrong, but at the same time what other choice did he have?

Besides letting his senses overtake him again.

Tony shuddered, his insides turning cold.

Bucky was right there, standing behind Tony and wrapping his arms around the genius.

Tony stopped what he was doing—making a sandwich—and leaned into Bucky.

Was it wrong that he received so much joy from such simple embraces? It felt like it.

Bucky huffed, his breath tickling the hair on the back of Tony’s head. “Stop feeling guilty.”

“We really need to talk about how you seem to think emotions can be switched off and on. Are you sure you’re not a robot?”

“Deflecting.”

Tony scoffed. He soaked in the simple contact, listening to Bucky’s heart and breathing.

It felt so good to be so connected to someone.

And maybe that was part of the problem. Before Tony and Bucky had been connected, but they had kept their distance as much as possible. Now they had spent days sharing the same bed, living in the same space, and touching each other whenever possible. The connection between them felt so much stronger now, and the idea of it breaking chipped at Tony’s heart.

Bucky squeezed Tony. He nuzzled his nose behind Tony’s ear. “Why do you always have to think about depressing things?”

“Why do you have to ask so many annoying questions?”

Bucky sighed and began to withdraw.

Tony clamped onto Bucky’s wrist and held him in place.

Bucky let out a breath of relief and leaned against Tony.

They stayed like that in silence for ten seconds.

“Make me a sandwich,” Bucky whined into the back of Tony’s neck.

Tony scowled. “Make your own.”

“But I like yours better.”

“No, you’re just lazy.”

“You would really let your guide starve?”

“You’re not going to starve.”

Bucky released a plaintive sound in the back of his throat. “I have a high metabolism, Tony. Don’t be cruel to me.”

“And people think I’m a drama queen?” Tony huffed, but he gathered the makings for a second sandwich.

Bucky chuckled and lightly headbutted Tony. “Thank you.”

Tony grunted his acceptance of the gratitude.

The elevator hummed as it rose through the floors.

Tony kept one ear out for the elevator as he made sandwiches for him and Bucky.

The elevator rose and opened to the penthouse, and Steve sweet scent wafted into the room.

There was a pause as neither one of the three acknowledged the others followed by Steve’s perplexed, “You two look cozy.”

Tony huffed as he sliced a tomato and plopped the strips of vegetable onto the sandwiches. “Been like this for the last few days, Steve. Not your first time seeing us like this either.”

It was true. The avengers were giving Tony and Bucky space as they went through their rebonding, but Steve had still visited once a day. He never said much, just held some small talk then would leave. If his brow was always furrowed as he left and his mouth pursed like he wanted to say something but his better judgment was stopping him from doing so, Tony didn’t mention it.

Tony wouldn’t deny it, if called upon, that he found Steve’s silence odd and disturbing. Steve always spoke his mind.

It really revealed just how affected Steve had been by Tony’s actions.

“True,” Steve said with a hint of hesitance. “But you two are being very domestic right now. Is there something else going on?”

“Jeez,” Bucky huffed. “Kiss a fella once and suddenly you’re dating him. What do you think, honey?”

Tony finished making Bucky’s sandwich and shoved it in Bucky’s mouth. “I think you’re looking a little skinnier than usual. I really should fatten you up, beau.” He patted Bucky’s stomach for emphasis.

Steve held up his hands. “All right, all right. I get it. You two have your… _thing_ , and no one should question it.”

“I don’t like the way he said ‘thing,’” Tony stated.

Bucky said something muffled through his mouth full of food.

“So sexy, babe,” Tony teased.

Bucky swallowed a bite then grinned. “I know, sugar.”

“You two are terrible.” Steve wandered over to the living room portion of the penthouse.

“So is Rhodey coming up here soon, or is it just the three of us?”

Tony’s heart squished at Rhodey’s name—they still hadn’t had a talk yet. “Why would he come up here?”

Steve frowned. “He mentioned something about an important discussion and that you two wanted me to come up here around this time.”

“What important discussion?” Bucky bit into his sandwich. “I don’t remember anything about an important discussion.”

Tony put on the top layer of bread to his sandwich and froze. “It’s a trap.”

Bucky stiffened. “Are you quoting Star Wars or do you really mean—”

“It’s a trap,” Tony repeated as the elevator descended several floors down, all the way to the bottom of the tower.

“Why would Rhodey trap us?” Steve asked.

Tony shook his head and gathered up his sandwich. Steve was far too naïve if he had to ask such a question. “Because he loves me.” Tony took his first bite of his sandwich and moaned a little as tomato, lettuce, cucumber, mayo and tuna filled his mouth.

“So he wants to trap you?” Disbelief coated Steve’s voice.

Tony rolled his eyes. “You don’t understand the complexities of friendship.” Tony turned in Bucky’s arms and nudged Bucky. “I’m sorry your friend is such a failure.”

“It’s a burden on my heart,” Bucky said dramatically.

Steve flushed. “Hey!”

Bucky snickered. “Teasing, Steve.” Bucky popped the last his sandwich in his mouth and swallowed. “Delicious. Thanks, Tony. I’d kiss your forehead, but Steve would get suspicious if I did.”

“Damn.” Tony mock glared at Steve. “Thanks for ruining my day.”

Steve sighed in exasperation as a small smile played on his lips. “Sorry. I didn’t know you wanted Bucky to kiss you so bad.”

“So I assume that even though Rhodey is apparently trapping us, you’re okay with that since you haven’t run from the room?” Bucky interjected as the elevator rose up again.

Tony took another bite of his sandwich, nibbling away at it. “He’s probably just going to have the three of us talk about bonding.” Tony winced. “You know what? Maybe I should run and hide for now.” Tony weakly tugged against Bucky’s arms, but Bucky held him close.

“Maybe it is time for the three of us to have that conversation,” Bucky said.

Steve grimaced but nodded.

Tony pouted. He prodded Bucky in the chest. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I’m not excited about this talk either, considering what happened last time.”

That elevator doors opened at the tail end of Bucky’s sentence.

“That’s why I’ve brought a neutral party,” Rhodey declared as he marched into the penthouse.

The soft, floral scent of Pepper wafted into the room.

Tony’s stomach fell out of him.

Bucky’s rested his chin on Tony’s shoulder and rubbed his hands up and down Tony’s hips and waist in a comforting manner.

“Ms. Potts.” Steve stood at attention, appearing as if he were about to salute Pepper. “It’s been a long time.”

Pepper smiled, but the expression was strained. Her concerned gaze darted to Tony before returning to Steve. “It has been. I just wish we were meeting under happier circumstances.”

Tony knew he should say something—plaster on a smile and greet her like nothing had happened in the last few weeks that deserved discussing—but he couldn’t find the words or energy to do so. He was at such a loss that he put down his sandwich and instead grabbed the hands Bucky had on him and dragged them over to his abdomen so that he was encased in Bucky’s arms.

“Me too,” Steve agreed, shooting Tony his own look of concern before arching a brow at Rhodey and Pepper. “I am confused though. Since when has Ms. Potts been a neutral party when Tony is involved?”

Pepper matched Steve’s arched brow with one of her own, and a smarmy smile. “I love Tony, but I have never been afraid to tell him the truth, even if he doesn’t like it. Also, thanks to my position at SI, I am used to playing mediator between people who I am familiar with. Dissecting arguments and information to find the best solution for everyone is a specialty of mine.”

“So you’re just going to come in here and play therapist?” Tony spat out, sounding more bitter than he had intended.

Pepper didn’t flinch under his tone, unlike many who would have. “I’m here to help as a friend. From what Rhodey has told me, it sounds like you three really do need someone to help you three focus on what’s important and coming to a compromise.”

Pepper’s face turned steely as she leveled Tony with one of her no nonsense stares. “Emphasis on compromise, which means not everyone is going to end up perfectly happy or getting what they want.”

Tony scoffed, feigning apathy. “This feels like a Natasha thing. Natasha should be mediating.”

“Natasha is just as pissed as I am,” Rhodey said. “She’s just better at hiding it. Also, you won’t listen to Natasha, but you’ll listen to Pepper, even if you’re acting like an ass right now to her.”

Tony huffed. “I am not—”

Rhodey and Pepper glared at Tony.

Even Steve did too!

Tony sighed and leaned against Bucky. “Fine. I’m acting like an ass.” He turned his head so his nose was pressed against Bucky’s neck. “I just hate this Kumbaya stuff.”

“Deal with it,” Rhodey said.

Rhodey clamped a hand on Pepper’s shoulder and squeezed. “Can you handle it from here?”

Pepper nodded.

Rhodey returned the gesture and headed for the elevator.

Tony pushed out of Bucky’s arm, only staying connected to Bucky by the fingertips of one hand. “You’re going?”

Rhodey paused just short of the elevator. “As I said, Tony, I’m pissed. I don’t think I can talk you rationally until you get this bond thing sorted out. Otherwise, all I’m going to do is yell at you and try to ensure some way that you never pull this stunt again. And if you think what I’m doing now is too forceful or pushing the subject too much then…” Rhodey clenched his fist and looked down at the ground.

He took a deep breath. “Just forget it for now. Talk. Figure this shit out, then talk to me.” Rhodey marched into the elevator and punched the button so the doors closed.

Tony’s heart ached.

Bucky moved to comfort him, but Tony put his hand between him and Bucky.

He didn’t want the physical comfort of Bucky. He wanted to feel this sadness and pain; it might help him focus and motivate him to find a workable solution to the bond problem at hand.

Pepper took a deep breath and gestured at the couches and chair in the living room. “Should we all take a seat?”

Tony nodded. He trudged past Pepper, only to stop a few paces short of a chair. “Sorry for the not so warm greeting,” he mumbled to Pepper.

A sad smile tugged on Pepper’s lips. “These aren’t easy times. It’s okay. Plus, I’ll yell at you later.” Her eyes twinkled with mirth.

Tony smiled softly at her and took his seat.

Bucky slowly joined them, eyeing all the possible places he could sit before taking up space in chair between Tony and Steve.

Pepper plopped herself down next to Tony. She crossed on leg over the other and took a deep breath. “All right. Rhodey gave me a basic outline of what has been going on the last few weeks. I know about the island and werewolves, and even about a few things before that. That being said, I’d like all three of you to start at the beginning and tell me the story from your perspectives. The details may be similar, but I have a feeling the three of you have very different stories about what has happened. Also, no interrupting or correcting each other.”

Steve, Bucky, and Tony nodded and each took their turn explaining what had happened.

Pepper listened intently as Tony, Steve, and Bucky told their side of the events that had transpired in the last week or two. Her face was that of statue that only came to life like gargoyle whenever one of the men tried to interrupt the other to argue their point or correct something the other said. The three of them were in Pepper’s kingdom now, and she would not tolerate interruptions.

“This discussion the three of you had was in the tower, correct?” Pepper asked after the three men had expressed their sides of the story.

Tony nodded, his gut churning with apprehension.

“Let me see it,” Pepper demanded.

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Tony said.

“I was brought in to help you three figure this situation out, and part of that requires to me to know where things went wrong between you three and try to fix it.To do that I need to see the discussion you three had.”

“You heard it from all three perspectives,” Tony countered. “What difference would seeing the video make?”

“A lot, if my suspicion is correct. FRIDAY, if you’d please.”

FRIDAY hesitated, but when Tony didn’t forbid the AI from showing the footage, FRIDAY projected a holographic video of the discussion.

Tony cringed as he watched Steve and Bucky fight again. He didn’t miss how the two men also cringed and sank into their seats, seeming to want to get sucked into them with each passing second.

Finally the fight ended, but the video didn’t stop.

Tony’s conversation with Steve afterward played, and Bucky sat up in his chair.

Tony gripped the arm of his seat. Bucky had already known that Tony had misled him and Steve; it wasn’t that big a deal. He didn’t know what Bucky was getting so worked up about.

Except Tony did.

There was a difference between knowing and actually seeing such a thing happen. Bucky was probably recalling later that day when Tony had come to him and he was piecing together just how seamlessly Tony had deceived him with a few well chosen sentences.

The video ended and the room was filled with silence.

Pepper cleared her throat and uncrossed her legs. “I’m going to give myself two minutes to be emotional about this and then I will go back to being the voice of reason. Do all three of you understand this?”

Tony and the others nodded.

“Good.” Pepper took a deep breath.

Pepper seized the pillow cushion off the couch and hit Tony on the head with it. “What the hell is your problem!”

“Ow!” Tony raised up his arms to block her blow. “Hey! Need I remind you that I’m the one who just locked himself away with the intent to go mad? You really think shouting and literally attacking me is the smartest thing to do?”

“Normally, no, but you have such a thick head that it takes dramatics to get things through to you sometimes, and right now I am so pissed off with you, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“I’m a victim!”

“Of your self!” Pepper whirled on Bucky and Steve. “Oh, and don’t think you two are entirely innocent here. I’ll be getting to you two in a moment.”

Both Bucky and Steve straightened, but didn’t say anything to contradict Pepper.

Pepper tossed the pillow at Tony, which Tony caught. “All of you are at fault here because not one of you can communicate, but Tony I am disappointed in you because instead of facing this problem head on, you handled it like a brooding, angsting teenager. That conversation I just saw: why didn’t you say anything during the entire discussion?”

“Bucky and Steve wouldn’t let me.”

Pepper hit Tony with a deadpanned stare. “Bucky and Steve wouldn’t let you?” Pepper repeated. “Tony Stark, the man who is known for not keeping his mouth shut and for always trying to get the last word in, did not speak up because Steve and Bucky wouldn’t _let_ him?”

 _Crap_ , Tony internally cursed. Pepper knew him too well. “It’s not like they invited me to talk.”

“Since when do you need an invitation?” Pepper asked. “Also, the very fact that they invited you up to talk was an invitation. Tony,” Pepper took a deep breath and calmed herself. ”Tony, I love you, but after everything I heard and after seeing that video everything tells me that you wanted this to happen.” Tears gathered in the corner of Pepper’s eyes. “And I just don’t understand why—why to such an extent. I can understand the guilt and feeling trapped in a lose-lose situation, but why would you—” Pepper covered her mouth as she sobbed.

Tony jumped out of his seat and kneeled in front of Pepper. He grabbed her hands in his and shushed her. “Hey, hey, look at me. It’s like I said before, Pepper: I’m a hot piping mess. I just thought this was the best solution for everyone involved.”

“Going mad?” Bucky voice sliced through the conversation.

Tony tensed.

“Almost dying? Or was dying a part of the plan too?” Bucky accused.

“Bucky.” Steve reached out to cover Bucky’s hand, but Bucky wouldn’t stop glaring at Tony. Clearly, the honeymoon was over, because the tender and caring side of Bucky that had been on display for the last few days had been replaced with a furious one.

Tony couldn’t really blame him; Bucky had just witnessed the moment Tony had decided to deceive all of his friends. Tony would be mad in Bucky’s situation too.

“No,” Bucky said to Steve. “I’ve been acting supportive and caring this whole time, but I’m pissed off. I never wanted to see you like that, Tony. I never wanted you to suffer, but then you had to run off and almost get yourself killed, and I just don’t know what to do any more. It was already hard enough wanting to help, but not feeling like I could, while also knowing if I took the risk it could lead to my old programming resurfacing and taking control. Now not only am I dealing with that, but I can’t help but doubt myself even more, since I apparently was too blind and self-centered to see what was happening with you, and I had fucking access to your emotions.”

Tony groaned and threw his head back. “Oh my god, are we really coming back to this again? It’s like a never ending circle with you. You’re a fine guide and my decision isn’t your fault.”

“I was your guide at the time this happened, Tony.” Bucky’s voice dropped an octave. “Forgive me, if I doubt myself for letting this happen to you.”

“You didn’t **_let_** anything happen to me. I chose this.” Tony whirled on Bucky and Steve. He scowled at both of them. “Pepper’s right. I did choose not to speak up. I went into the discussion with the intent to listen, dissect information, and act. I learned that neither one of you wanted to be my guide, and after decades of struggling to find one for me, I just finally got fed up and decided it wasn’t worth the hassle. It wasn’t worth putting the burden on someone who didn’t want to be there.”

Bucky shot up out of his seat. “Who said I didn’t want to be there?”

“You!”

“No, I’ve only ever said I’m not worthy—that I’m not good enough and that you need someone better.”

“What I’d needed _is_ you.”

“And I would been fucking thrilled to have had you if it weren’t for Hydra and my own fucked up mind.” Bucky took a deep breath. “I wasn’t lying to you on that island, Tony, when I said my emotions are a mess.”

“And I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t care.”

“But you should care, because you deserve better. Why don’t you get that?”

“Why don’t you get that you’re just fine, Bucky?” Steve asked.

“Shut up!” Tony and Bucky whirled on Steve in unison.

“Personally, I think it is time for everyone to shut up,” Pepper said as she wiped away a stray tear with her sleeve. She sniffled and straightened her shirt. “Everyone, deep breath on three. One, two, three.”

All of them took a collective breath and released it.

“Good,” Pepper said. She pointed to Tony and Bucky’s seats. “You two sit. Now that I’ve calmed down we are going to discuss this like rational adults.”

Pepper turned to Steve. “First things first, Steve: stop. Stop pressuring Bucky. If this were a normal situation in which Tony could in fact choose any guide, to everyone else in the world you would look like a complete and total asshole. You are trying to push Bucky into a relationship that he doesn’t feel ready for, and he is justified in feeling that way. Bucky has every right to be concerned about his mental health and how that will affect Tony. I would even argue that since Bucky is the person Tony has formed the strongest bond with, he has even more of a reason to be so. After all, if Bucky’s mental health does end up harming Tony, who can Tony turn to?”

“But Bucky—” Steve started, but Pepper held up her hand to silence him.

“Bucky knows himself better than you, Steve. And I apologize for being blunt here, but I feel that this is something that needs to be said or else you might continue to push Bucky: You are trapped in the past. Bucky was a fantastic guide, but over seventy years have passed and things have changed.” Pepper’s expression softened into something sorrowful. “It’s great that you want to support him, but you have to do that by supporting his decisions.

“Also, don’t get so wrapped up in Bucky’s wants and needs that you ignore other factors, such as Tony. If you had been thinking beyond Bucky, and what you wanted for Bucky, you might have noticed that Tony wasn’t speaking up during that discussion you three had.”

“Don’t blame Steve for what I did,” Tony said.

“I’m not,” Pepper stated. “But I’m not going to let Steve’s tunnel vision slide either. You’re an adult and responsible for your own actions, so I won’t blame Bucky and Steve for what you chose to do, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let the behavior that lead to you being able to drive yourself insane be excused either.”

“I’m not their responsibility.”

“No, but all three of you are teammates, and teammates should look out for each other off and on the battlefield.”

Tony wanted to make some snide comment about how they weren’t some characters in a Disney movie where the power of love, friendship, and teamwork would solve everything, but he knew Pepper would shut him down. She was in killer shark mode right now, and she wasn’t going to tolerate his smartass comments.

Plus, he had just made her cry.

The guilt gnawed at Tony.

“Now you,” Pepper turned to Bucky.

Bucky tensed as Pepper stared at him, mulling over what she wanted to say.

Tony was surprised when Pepper’s shoulders dropped and her expression became more open than it had been with Steve. “What is going on Bucky? Because I can psychoanalyze you for hours, but I really need to hear what is going through your head right now.”

Bucky shrugged. “I already spoke my piece.”

Tony internally flinched. Bucky was pissed off at him, and that’s all that mattered to Bucky right now.

Bucky grumbled and palmed his face. “Tony, please stop taking everything I say negatively.”

“How can I not? You’re being very negative.”

“Tony, stop being obtuse,” Pepper said. “Bucky just told you he feels unworthy of you. You do understand what that means, right?”

“Of course I do.” Tony huffed.

“So you understand that it means he holds you in high regard?”

Tony’s brain stuttered to a halt.

Pepper sighed and shook her head. She turned back to Bucky. “Bucky, I’m not going to pretend I understand everything that is going on in your head right now; I don’t think a lot of people could. That being said, even though you don’t always express it the right way, it’s clear to me that you care a lot about Tony. You wouldn’t be resisting bonding with him as much if you didn’t. You also wouldn’t have helped Tony after he was found and rebonded with him if you didn’t care.”

Pepper looked between Tony and Bucky. “Both of you care about each other, which ironically seems to be the reason why things played out the way they did. Tony didn’t want to burden you, Bucky, and Tony, Bucky didn’t want to burden you either.” Pepper threw her hands up. “You’re kind of both perfect for each other in that sense.”

Tony and Bucky looked at each other.

Tony scrunched his face as he scrutinized Bucky. “Perfect” wasn’t the word he would use for them, unless it was combined with the word disaster. As much as he liked Bucky, after everything that had happened to them, they had proven that were a complete mess together.

Memories of Bucky holding onto Tony and trying to bring him back to himself swam to the forefront of Tony’s mind.

Tony corrected himself; Bucky and him hadn’t been a complete disaster. Despite how much they had messed up, they had still reconnected when it mattered most.

Then again maybe that was being too forgiving of their past actions.

But there had been moments on the island too.

Tony frowned. He just didn’t know what to think about him and Bucky anymore.

“I’m confused too,” Bucky confessed and hung his head low. He gripped the side of his head as he bent over and glared at his feet. “This is such a mess.”

Tony nodded.

“I hate it,” Bucky said.

“You and me both.”

“It is a mess,” Pepper agreed. “It’s a big mess because both of you are in position where two have this illusion of choice, but not really.”

Tony perked up. “What makes you say that?”

Pepper smiled sadly. “Tony, do I really have to break it down for you?”

Bucky raised his hand. “Maybe not for him, but for me: yes.”

Pepper took a deep breath. “You two don’t have a choice when it comes to bonding or not. It’s time to face the facts here: Tony and Steve’s bond is not cutting it.” Pepper looked at Steve and Tony. “You two could try to reform your bond, and maybe for a while it would work again, but the fact is, it was weakening despite every effort you two had made to strengthen it.”

“Maybe they can fix it though?” Bucky argued.

“Maybe,” Pepper acknowledged. “But the odds are unlikely at this point, and personally, it just seems like a band aid. Even a bond between you and Tony might be a band aid in the long run.”

Tony and Bucky flinched.

Pepper frowned. “I know that’s probably not easy to hear, and I don’t like that idea either, but for all we know, a few years from now the same thing that happened with Tony and Steve may happen between you two.”

Tony’s heart lurched, not liking that idea at all. “So you’re saying I’m destined to go insane?”

And suddenly Bucky was standing right behind Tony and holding his hand.

Tony’s nerves jumped in surprise, but a moment later settled. He squeezed Bucky’s hand, the shape and feel of Bucky’s fingers familiar and calming. Bucky squeezed back, and wave of reassurance flowed through Tony.

“That’s not what I was saying, Tony,” Pepper spoke calmly. “And I honestly hope that such a thing isn’t true. I’m just trying get across to all three of you what kind of situation you are in. As I’ve just established, the bond between you and Steve had dwindled and is more likely to continue dwindling if you reestablish it. That means as of right now the only person who can form a strong bond with you is Bucky, and Bucky while you have every right to say no to that bond, I think you’ve already proven that no matter your fears and insecurities, you would never willing let Tony become overwhelmed and mad.”

Bucky stared intently at Tony as his fingertips brushed against Tony’s hand. “No.”

Pepper sighed and gestured at Tony and Bucky. “This is why I say you two are given the illusion of choice. Even if you were to end your bond now and reestablish the one between Steve and Tony, months from now or even years from now, you two are most likely going to be bonded, whether you two are ready for it or not.”

“So then the real question is, are you two going to put it off?” Steve interjected.

Pepper narrowed her gaze at Steve. “And…?”

Steve blinked not understanding Pepper for a moment. There was a flash of realization across his face once he figured out what she was getting at. “And I’m fine whatever you two choose.”

Steve sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. “I really didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t want you, Tony. I know we don’t always get along, but I still care for you. You’re like an obnoxious little brother who likes to make everything explode.”

Tony smirked. “And you’re like a grandpa to me.”

“And Bucky?” Pepper prompted.

Steve jerked a tad in his seat. He eyed Bucky, and Bucky in return eyed Steve.

Steve’s face crumpled. “Sorry, Buck. I just really thought I knew what was best for you—for both of you. I’m a real idiot sometimes.”

“Yeah, you are,” Bucky said.

Pepper stood up, pulling down her skirt so it wouldn’t rise up. “And this is the part where Steve and I leave.”

“What?” Tony sputtered. “But why? I thought you were going to help us?”

“I just did Tony. What you three needed was a reality check and for someone to lay all the cards on the table for you three. Everything is out there in the open now. Steve just said he is willing to be your partner again, so now it’s up to you and Bucky to decide if you two want to continue with your bond, and that’s something you two should discuss privately.”

Tony’s stomach churned with nerves. He opened his mouth to say something that would bring Pepper back, but he was cut short when Bucky leaned forward and rested his chin on Tony’s shoulder. Tony turned his head to look at Bucky, his face communicating his silent question.

Bucky sighed, closed his eyes, and wrapped his left arm around Tony’s waist. “She’s right.”

“I hate talking about feelings.”

“He really does,” Steve added in as he stood up and followed Pepper to the exit.

Tony scowled. “No giving away all my secrets, Steve.”

“It’s not a secret, Tony,” Pepper quipped, an exhausted smile on her face.

Tony silently promised he’d check on her later.

The bundles of nerves in Tony’s throat and stomach grew as Pepper and Steve left. He just knew he was going to screw this up somehow. He’s tried being direct before, but when it came to this mess, Tony—

Bucky pulled Tony against him and nuzzled Tony’s cheek. He wrapped his other arm around Tony, not once letting go of Tony’s hand as he did so.

“You’re being very affectionate,” Tony said casually. “I mean, hugging and hand holding has become a regular thing, but nuzzling is taking it to another level.” He glanced back at the exit to see if Pepper and Steve where still around. He wasn’t ready for this conversation. He wasn’t—oh!

Bucky had stopped nuzzling Tony, and in instead had guided Tony’s head to his neck, giving Tony better access to Bucky’s scent.

Tony hummed as gunpowder, metal, oil, and that earthy musk that belonged solely to Bucky filled Tony’s nostrils. Tony sighed and slumped against Bucky.

Bucky nuzzled Tony again, keeping Tony’s face near the juncture of his neck and shoulder as he did so.

Tony closed his eyes and happily breathed Bucky in. “Can we just… stay like this for a bit?”

“Can we move to the couch at least?”

Tony nodded. He hugged Bucky and led him backwards towards the couch. Tony dropped onto the soft cushions, hauling Bucky down on top of him.

They laid there on the couch for several minutes, soaking in each other’s presence. For Tony Bucky’s scent combined with his steady heartbeat and breathing centered him. In the back of his mind he could hear all of his thoughts and doubts, but they were little more than whispers. He felt a strong sense of contentment and peace.

Tony let out a long and deep breath.

Bucky copied the action and loosened his grip on Tony’s waist. He shifted so he was propped up more. “Sorry. Still not good with words. Physical contact seems to be the best way to calm both of us down.”

Without thinking, Tony reached up and brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen across Bucky’s face. “You sure you’re not a huggy person?” He teased, knowing that their current predicament had them touching every chance they got. “Because I feel like you are one.”

Bucky grinned, the expression soft and full of weariness. “I think if we continue with this bond, I’m going to have to become one.”

“You don’t have to. …become a huggy person or stay bonded to me.”

Bucky groaned. He closed his eyes and lowered his forehead onto Tony’s. “Pepper’s right. Even if there is a chance that you and Steve could reform your bond and make it stronger, it seems more likely that you and me are kind of inevitable.”

Tony huffed, feigning nonchalance. “Sounds romantic.”

“Not really, but I’m sure on the surface that concept could sell quite a few paperbacks.” Bucky pushed himself up again. He examined Tony’s face, searching for something. Finally he sighed and cupped Tony’s face. “I’m going to sound like a complete sap for saying this, but after the disaster of our last serious conversation, I want to make things clear: I don’t want to lose you, Tony. Not as a friend or a teammate. I still think you deserve a better guide—one who isn’t as messed up as me—but if you’re willing to give this shot then so am I.”

Tony cupped Bucky’s face too. “You sure? I can rebond with Steve for a few months. Give you time to—” All the air got knocked out of Tony’s lungs, as Bucky did his best impression of a tackle from their entangled position.

“God if you had access to my head like I have to yours right now, you’d really get just how much what you just said just messed me up.”

Tony frowned. He went over his sentences.

His bones jumped in his skin when he realized how close what he had said just then sounded like what he’d told Bucky when he’d started his crazy plan to go unbonded.

“Sorry.” Tony let his arms fall to his sides, suddenly not so sure he had the right to touch Bucky.

Bucky had a different thought in mind, though, because he grabbed Tony’s hands placed them around his waist. “Trust me, if anyone should be apologizing around here, it’s me.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s me.”

“No, it’s me.”

“You’re really going to be stubborn about this?”

“What about you, you hard-headed genius?”

Tony paused, incredulity coming over him. “Dear lord, Pepper is right. We were made for each other. We’re both guilt-riddled idiots. Granted, I’m the one at fault.”

“You want to start something, Stark? Cause I will kick your ass just to prove to you that I’m at fault.”

“Yeah, just try to do that while I’m in the armor. Don’t think I’ll go easy on you just because you’re pretty.”

“I could say the same to you.”

“Flirting with me won’t save you.”

“Ditto.”

“No original dialogue, Bucky?”

“I wouldn’t want to bruise your sensitive ego with all of my spectacular insults.”

“Fuck.” Tony threw his head back against the arm of the couch. His stomach undulated with restrained laughter. He bit his bottom lip to subdue a chuckle, but he couldn’t stop the upward curl of his lips. “Why are you so perfect?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Rhodey is never going to forgive me for cheating on him with you. This kind of banter is reserved for just for him and me.”

“Well then let’s put an end to it right now and address what we’re both avoiding.” Bucky’s fingers pressed against Tony’s waist. “I want to be your guide, Tony. Do you want to be my sentinel?”

“Not if you’re asking out of guilt or some sense of obligation.”

Bucky huffed. He lowered himself again and nuzzled Tony’s neck. “Listen, Stark, I’m not going to lie and say those things aren’t factors here, but I will say this: I wasn’t lying earlier when I said if it weren’t for Hydra I would have been happy to have been your partner. Also, I don’t just go around nuzzling every sentinel I find, no matter what their condition.”

“Thank god for that. They may get the wrong impression.”

“Tony,” Bucky huffed across Tony’s neck. “Just give me one serious answer, and then you can make as many quips as you want.”

Tony mulled it over. He wished guilt and obligation weren’t at play in Bucky’s decision, but if Tony were being completely honest, he was probably responsible for heightening those emotions in Bucky with what he had done. He didn’t want to trap Bucky, but if what he said was true…

“Say it again,” Tony demanded. “Say you you’d be happy to have me as a partner.”

“I’d be happy to have you as a partner.”

Bucky’s heartbeat didn’t stutter when he’d answered.

He was telling the truth.

Tony throat and mouth went dry, and he had to swallow hard to moisten them again.

“Okay. I mean, this probably isn’t going to a perfect partnership. I think we lost any chance of anyone considering our partnership healthy, but I’m willing to give it a go.”

Bucky sighed. “Good.” He flopped down on top of Tony, squashing the genius under him.

Tony squawked. “Hey! Get off!”

Bucky grunted. “Too tired. You wore me out. Too many emotions. Too much sappiness. Need rest.”

“This partnership is doomed to failure.”

Bucky swatted Tony’s thigh. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“If you’re going to stay on top of me can I at least tell people we made out?”

“Only if you tell people what a skilled kisser I am.”

“Deal.”


	14. Chapter 14

Tony paced the room.

Bucky sighed from the floor where he was doing climbers. “Just go talk to him.”

Tony stopped walking the penthouse living room and huffed. “I can’t do that. There is no way the pizzas I ordered for him have arrived yet, or the vintage comic books I bought him. The pizzas are going to be another five minutes and the comic books—”

“Actually, boss,” FRIDAY’s voice came from overhead, “Rhodey received the pizzas you order for him two minutes ago.”

“Huh? That breaks the average delivery time. FRIDAY, make note of this instance.”

“Will do, boss.”

Bucky stopped doing his climbers and rolled over so he was seated on the floor with his arms propping up his back. “We both know how much you want to talk to Rhodey. I can go with you if—”

Tony held up his hand to silence Bucky. “Nope. No way. Rhodey and I will talk alone. Besides, if I end up telling him that I’m cheating on him with you, then he might punch you if you’re in the room when I make the confession.”

“You’re deflecting again.” Bucky sighed and switched his position so he was cross-legged and holding his ankles.

“You know, maybe it’s not a good idea for me to go? We haven’t spent that much time apart, and we don’t want what happened a few days ago to repeat itself. Who knows how long or how far I can go without you?”

“I’ll monitor the bond, and come racing down there to hug you the second I feel anything remotely similar to what you were experiencing after our rebonding.”

Tony crossed his arms over his chest and bit the inside of his cheek.

“I get that you’re scared,” Bucky said.

“I’m not scared,” Tony said.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Then go talk to Rhodey. He’s your best friend, and yeah, he’s mad, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He’ll get over it.”

“People don’t just get over what I did.”

Bucky grimaced. “I know.” Bucky took a deep breath and stood up. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m going to—” Bucky swayed and almost fell.

“Bucky!” Tony ran and grabbed Bucky before Bucky hit the ground. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Tony listened to Bucky’s vitals and took a whiff of the air around Bucky to see what had caused Bucky’s fainting spell.

Bucky grabbed Tony’s arm and squeezed. “I’m fine. Remember, you’re emotions are coming through a little stronger than usual. You’re anxiety and anger are doing a number on my stomach and head.”

Guilt punched Tony in chest. “Sorry.”

Bucky squeezed Tony’s arm in reassurance and forced a smile. “It’s okay. Nothing I can’t handle.”

Tony wasn’t so sure about that. “I’ll go talk to Rhodey. Maybe that will get rid of my anxiety.”

Bucky patted Tony’s arm before slipping out of Tony’s hold. “Do it for you, not for me.”

Guilt roiled in Tony’s stomach.

“Tony, you’re going to feel emotions. It’s fine. Don’t feel guilty just because you’re human.”

Tony understood what Bucky was saying, but he couldn’t will away his sense of remorse. “I’m going to go talk to Rhodey.”

Bucky nodded, still smiling. “Okay. You know where to find me.”

Tony nodded quickly and headed for the elevator. With a quick command to FRIDAY to take him to Rhodey, Tony rode the elevator down to Rhodey’s floor. He twisted the hem of his shirt around one finger and bit his bottom lip. His nerves wreaked havoc on him.

He took a deep breath to quell them.

When the elevator opened to Rhodey’s floor the first thing Tony smelled was the delicious aroma of pizza. His mouth watered and his stomach grumbled. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had pizza. Why hadn’t he ordered some for himself?

He walked the hall to Rhodey’s room and stopped at the door.

Never had a door been so ominous in Tony’s life.

Tony took a deep breath and knocked.

In less than a second, Rhodey answered, holding a plate of pizza in his hands. “FRIDAY said you were coming,” Rhodey greeted.

“And you didn’t have her turn me away?”

Rhodey didn’t say anything. He took a step back and nodded for Tony to come in.

Tony hurried to do so. He feared Rhodey would change his mind at the last second.

“Take a seat.” Rhodey gestured to sofa. Twelve boxes of pizza were stacked on top of the coffee table.

Tony did as instructed. He frowned as he sat there, feeling stiff and unnatural. Tony shifted and spread his limbs out to force himself into a relaxed pose, but it too felt unnatural. Tony shifted and kept on maneuvering until Rhodey took a seat next to him on the couch. He offered Tony a glass of water and a plate for the pizza.

“You don’t have to share. I can order my own,” Tony said.

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “I’m not such an asshole that I wouldn’t let you have my food, let alone food that you bought for me.”

“Yeah, but you’re mad.”

Rhodey threw his head back and groaned. “I don’t know what I am Tony.”

“Well, you’ve been saying you’re mad a lot, so…” Tony trailed off.

“I’m mad, I’m scared, I’m confused, I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m pretty much every negative emotion a person can experience right now.”

Tony picked up a slice of pizza and put it on his plate. “If it makes you feel better, Bucky and I talked. We’re staying together.”

Rhodey sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I’m happy you talked, and I’m happy that you two are going to stay together; although, I still have my doubts after everything that has happened.”

“You and me both.” Tony nibbled on the tip of the pizza slice.

“I just don’t understand, Tony.” Rhodey looked at the ground and shook his head. “I don’t understand why you felt like you couldn’t come to me, and I don’t understand why you would think hiding your broken bond with Steve and then breaking your bond with Bucky was okay.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Obviously, I knew it wasn’t okay if I didn’t tell you my plan.”

“Maybe ‘okay’ isn’t the right word here. How about ‘viable’? What made killing yourself a viable option?”

Tony scoffed. “I was breaking a bond, not killing myself.”

Rhodey slapped his hands down on his knees, looking furious. “Don’t bullshit me, Tony. Don’t play this game where you try to lawyer me by hiding behind fine details like that. You had locked yourself away without any food or water.”

“I forgot.”

“You want me to believe that?”

“Yes.”

Rhodey paused. “Okay.” He closed his eyes and took a moment to center himself. “Let’s say I believe you; you still put your life at risk, and I can’t understand why.”

“Because I was tired of the sentinel-guide bullshit. Why do Bucky or Steve have to be tied to me? Why do I have to be tied to them? Why are any of us forced into these partnerships that, at least for me and my partners, we don’t really get a say in? I wanted a say, Rhodey, and I wanted it to end, because no one deserves to live a life chained to an individual who doesn’t want them.”

Rhodey didn’t say anything, just looked at Tony in a manner that told Tony Rhodey was absorbing everything Tony was saying and processing it, turning it over to make sure he understood everything Tony was trying to communicate and then some.

“Bucky didn’t want me as a partner,” Tony stated. “Neither did Steve. I was forced on Steve, and I was pretty much forced on Bucky. I don’t think that’s right.”

“It’s not,” Rhodey stated. “It’s not right or fair, except you’re thinking about this as a one way street. It’s not just you who gets forced on Bucky or Steve. They get forced on you too.” Rhodey shifted so he was more face to face with Tony. “Bucky isn’t fully stable, Tony. There is a reason SHIELD has written down in their files that Bucky shouldn’t be someone’s guide. And Steve? I like Steve, but I feel like, if anything everything that has happened has shown that he’s just as human as everyone else. He was so focused on what he wanted that he ignored you.”

“But he’s not responsible for me, and I’m not just saying that because he was no longer my guide at the time. Whether Steve is my guide or not, he’s not responsible for my wellbeing. Just like how you’re not either.”

Hurt flashed in Rhodey’s eyes.

“You’re not,” Tony stated. “You’re my friend, and we love each other, and we do look out for each other’s wellbeing, but you have your own life and I have mine, and there is only so much we can do for each other.”

Rhodey’s fists clenched and his jaw tightened. Tears formed in Rhodey’s eyes.

Tony jerked back, startled.

Rhodey glared. “That is so much bull crap. You’re my friend, Tony. I’m always going to look out for you, which is why I am so furious. I’m pissed at you, because you would take my best friend from me, and because you value yourself so low that you somehow think killing yourself is option, or will somehow make things better. But I’m also just so pissed at myself for letting you get to such a point, and somehow making you feel like you couldn’t come talk to me.”

Tony sat up straighter. He tossed aside the plate he’d been holding, not caring about the mess it made. “You never made me feel like that. Well, okay, maybe recently with the whole ‘I’m too pissed to talk to you’ shtick, but I assume we’re not counting that.”

“So then why didn’t you talk to me?”

“Because I thought I had it handled.” Tony sunk down into the sofa cushions. “I _thought_.”

“That was the stupidest thought you ever had.” The tears poured down Rhodey’s face and he sniffled. “God damn it. I fuckin’ want to hug you right now, but I’m still so friggin’ pissed off.”

“I wouldn’t mind a hug.” Tony opened up his arms.

Rhodey threw himself at Tony and dragged Tony into a bear hug.

Tears prickled in Tony’s own eyes. He screwed his eyes shut and forced the tears to go away. He wouldn’t cry.

“You really did that because you felt like you were some burden?” Rhodey mumbled through tears.

Tony shrugged, forcing his emotions down. “Yeah. How could I not? Steve had never chosen to be my guide in the first place, and the moment Bucky became available Steve was shoving Bucky and me together. Plus, Bucky didn’t want to be my partner either.”

“Steve’s an idiot, who thinks he has the answers to everything when really he is just as much of dumbass as everyone else. I’ll punch him for you, if you want.”

“You better do it with the War Machine armor if you don’t want to break your fist on his perfectly chiseled jaw.”

“Bucky’s an idiot too if he doesn’t want you as a partner.”

Tony frowned, remembering the discussion that had happened between him, Steve, Bucky, and Pepper. He pulled out of his hug from Rhodey. “He didn’t think he was worthy either.”

“Bucky?”

Tony nodded.

Rhodey was quiet for a moment. “I guess that makes sense. After everything he’s been through, he probably has a lot of guilt. Then add on top of it that he’s been told he’s unfit to be anyone’s guide. I can see why he didn’t feel worthy or capable of being your partner.”

Tony shook his head. “I don’t get it. I mean…I do, but I don’t. I know he has his past, and I know SHIELD has labeled him as an unfit guide, but I’m me. I’m probably the worst sentinel out there. Why would he think so little of himself? Especially compared to me?”

“Funny,” Rhodey stated drily. “I’m wondering the same thing about you.”

Tony thoughts came to a screeching halt, as Rhodey’s statement bulldozed past Tony’s mental defenses and slammed him with realization. “Fuck.”

Rhodey nodded.

“Fuck,” Tony repeated. “Pepper is right. Bucky and I are perfect for each other. We’re both so fucked up in the head.” Tony whirled on Rhodey. “You don’t think Bucky is going to do anything crazy now, do you?”

“I would hope not, but I’ve had my hopes crushed before.”

Tony grimaced.

Rhodey cursed and dragged his palm down his face. “Sorry. That came out wrong, and was such a dick thing to say. Fuck, just… ignore me. I’m still not in my right head now.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Tony said, his attention going to Bucky. He pushed himself off the sofa. “I know that this discussion isn’t over and we need to talk more, but I really need to go check on Bucky. This bond loss thing is so unpredictable and who knows when we’ll next be clamoring to hug each other.”

Rhodey stood, following Tony to the door. “Okay, we’ll put this on pause for now, but before you go I have something to say.”

Tony stopped in front of the door and waited.

Rhodey braced himself. “I want you to talk me, but I also know that I can’t be the only person you talk to. I think you should attend therapy.”

“Rhodey,” Tony said his friend’s name like a curse word. “I have been through the ringer with that crap. I am not going through it again.”

“Please consider it, Tony.”

Tony glared at Rhodey.

Rhodey exhaled heavily. “Fine. I can’t force you into anything. But remember you are not a burden. You have done so much good, and I want you to keep doing good and living, and just being your amazing self, and if Steve or Bucky ever make you feel like shit again, please come talk to me so I can either yell at them for you or punch them.”

“What happened to understanding where Bucky was coming from?” Tony asked.

“Which is why Bucky will most likely get yelled at, whereas Steve will get punched. I am not making any promises about that though.”

“Right. I feel my bond calling, so…” Tony let his lie trail off.

Rhodey nodded and waved Tony out. “Go. Hug the hell out of that grumpy raccoon.”

“Will do.” Tony left.

It was just paranoia and anxiety, Tony told himself, but now that he’d realized how similar Bucky’s thought processes were to his own, Tony couldn’t rid himself of the sense of dread that plagued him. He focused on Bucky and detecting his heartbeat as he rode the elevator up to the penthouse. With each second Tony got closer to Bucky, Bucky’s breathing and heartbeat grew louder. The sounds calmed some of Tony’s nerves, but he wouldn’t be fully at ease without seeing Bucky for himself.

The elevator opened and Bucky was standing there, arm braced against the wall and body slumped. His hand was over his heart as he scanned Tony. “Whatever Rhodey said has worked you into a tizz.”

Tony cupped Bucky’s face without any warning and looked Bucky in the eye. Bucky looked exhausted but determined to push himself.

“Please don’t be like me and do something stupid,” Tony pleaded.

Bucky jerked his head out from Tony’s hold. “What?”

Tony grabbed Bucky’s elbow and squeezed. “Okay, I know right now everyone is expecting some kind of woe is me attitude or for me to be fragile like glass or something, but Rhodey said some things, and now I’m freaking out, because you and I share some really nasty traits and since we share some traits I can’t help but think we probably have similar reactions and thoughts processes, and I don’t even know if I’m making any sense to you, but you’re just as messed up as me, and you have all these insecurities and a lack of self worth, which is stupid because you’re so fuckin’ badass, but also cuddly like a teddy bear—a teddy bear with claws and muscles—and…and…” Tony’s hand trembled on Bucky’s arm. “And please, do not screw up like me.”

Bucky stared wide-eyed at Tony.

Tony forced himself to let go of Bucky. “I know. I come off as crazy, and maybe it’s everything I’ve been through recently, and maybe Rhodey is right that I need to see a therapist, but I don’t want to, and I also don’t want to…” Tony tried to picture Bucky locked away in a room with no food and water and expecting to go mad and die.

A lump formed in Tony’s throat. “Fuck.”

Bucky wrapped his arms around Tony and held him.

Tears formed in the corners of Tony’s eyes. He cursed. “I’m sorry, you’re probably getting so many emotions right now, and if they are anything like what I am feeling-”

Bucky kissed Tony on the forehead and suddenly all of the doubts and fears were wiped away and replaced by confusion. “Did you just kiss my forehead?”

Bucky squeezed Tony tighter and grumbled. “Instinct.”

“You’re instinct was to kiss my forehead?”

“At least it wasn’t your mouth. I’ve been reading articles online that say that’s not romantic anymore.”

“You were trying to be romantic?” Tony scrunched his nose.

Bucky huffed and tucked Tony’s head under his chin. “No, but I figured if two people in love can’t kiss each other to shut one of them up, then I definitely can’t do it with you.”

“So you kissed my forehead…like a mom.”

“You don’t want me as a mother. I grew up during a time when spanking a kid was considered normal.”

“You can spank me if you want,” Tony said.

Tony groaned in embarrassment. “Sorry. I’m conditioned to flirt when the opportunity strikes.”

Bucky rubbed his hand up and down Tony’s back. “You feel calmer. I can sense all those other feelings are just lurking about though.” Bucky unwrapped his arms from Tony, and took Tony’s hands instead. He guided Tony to the couch and sat down. With a gentle tug, he pulled Tony into his lap and had Tony rest against his chest. “I don’t plan on killing myself, Tony.”

Something in Tony’s chest loosened. “Good. …Did you ever consider it?” Tony didn’t know what had possessed him to ask such a personal question, but now that it had slipped out, Tony was genuinely curious.

“Before, during, or after Hydra?”

Tony stiffened. “What does that mean?”

Bucky shrugged. “I had a few dark days. During Hydra they wiped me so much that I didn’t care one way or the other if I lived or died. After Hydra…I wanted to live, but I just wasn’t certain if I could. I’d done so many terrible things, I wasn’t sure I was worthy, at the same time I just… I knew the option was there, but I just wasn’t ready to give up—not after I had gone through so much. It would be such a waste, and I knew Steve needed me. Before Hydra though… well, maybe not entirely before Hydra, but before the Winter Soldier: definitely.” Bucky raised his flesh arms and stared at his wrist. “After I was given the serum… that first night back, I considered drinking myself dead.”

A lump formed in Tony’s throat. He twisted so his side was pressed against Bucky's and his nose brushed Bucky’s neck. He wrapped a possessive and protective arm around Bucky. “You talk like it’s normal. Like it’s the weather or something.”

Bucky shrugged. “You do too. It’s really disconcerting.”

“Yeah, well, so was your confession.” Tony threw his leg over Bucky’s, entangling himself even further with Bucky. “Really, where were the dramatics? The tears? The long speech about how everyone did you wrong?”

“Where was yours?”

Tony twirled the hem of Bucky’s shirt around his finger. “Do my emotions… do they take you back to that place at all?”

Bucky didn’t answer right away. “Yes and no. It helps me remember that time more vividly, and if I focus on it, I can even remember those feelings, but it’s not the same. Like that fake sugar Sam likes to put in his coffee.” Bucky sneered. “It’s similar, but not the same. Also, my memories don’t leave a bad aftertaste.”

Tony chuckled. He knew he shouldn’t; this was too serious a moment for laughter, but he couldn’t help it. In the end, Tony didn’t care, because Bucky snaked an arm around Tony’s waist and smiled down at Tony like he hadn’t in days—a genuine a smile. “You laugh, but have you tried that fake crap?”

“Are you kidding me? Pepper tried to get me to switch to that stuff years ago. It’s terrible.”

Mirth shown in Bucky’s eyes. It was soon erased when a yawn forced itself out of him.

“Tired?” Tony asked.

Bucky groaned. “Today has been emotional for both of us; I don’t think my body was prepared for any of it.” Tony opened his mouth and Bucky tapped his finger to Tony’s lips. “And don’t apologize or feel guilty.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Because telling me not to do ‘the thing’ has done so well in the past.”

“Then how about this? I’m not going to apologize for farting when we’re in the same room, so don’t apologize for having feelings.”

Tony wrinkled his nose. “You’re equating farts to feelings?”

“Both are natural parts of existence, and with your heightened senses, it’s going to be like a dozen skunks in one room.”

“Ew.”

Bucky laughed.

* * *

“I want to go see Pepper,” Tony announced as he made his morning coffee the next day.

Bucky grunted as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. “I need to run.”

Tony tapped his fingers on the kitchen counter. “So we have a bit of a problem. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go for a run while we’re still so clingy.” Tony looked pointedly at Bucky’s hand that had drift to Tony’s hip while Bucky rummaged around in the fridge for food. “Also, I probably shouldn’t visit Pepper alone during this time either, unless you’re right outside the door or in the room, so—”

“Why don’t we just go on a run together and visit Pepper along the way? She’s at SI, right? That’d give us a good amount of distance to run.” Bucky pulled out a banana and slammed the fridge door. “I only need half of this if we’re going on a run. Want the other half?”

“Should you really be eating at all before a run? I’ve heard horror stories about people puking their guts out on street corners. Also,” Tony grimaced, “I am not running with you. I may be a sentinel, but I do not exercise like you and Steve do. There’s no way I could keep up with you.”

Bucky pulled out a knife from one of the drawers and sliced the banana in half. “I need to eat something, and half a banana won’t make me puke.” Bucky placed one half of the banana back in the fridge. “Also, I can carry you.”

The coffee maker beeped its completion.

Tony gawked at Bucky. “You intend to princess carry me all around New York just so you can get your run and I get to talk to Pepper?”

“I was thinking more like I give you an epic piggyback ride.”

“Yet the press and paparazzi would still have a field day with it.” The corners of Tony’s mouth curled as he pulled a coffee mug out from the cupboards. “I’m almost tempted.”

Bucky smirked. “It would probably be one of the most positive scandals the press has ever written about you. ‘Tony Stark rides the Winter Soldier.’”

Tony sputtered. “Oh thank god I wasn’t drinking coffee just then. Did you intentionally make that innuendo?” Tony poured himself a cup of that delicious, heavenly drink of caffeine and splendor.

Bucky peeled open his banana and nibbled the tip. He wiggled his eyebrows at Tony.

Tony chuckled and smacked Bucky on the arm. “That is just terrible, dirty humor. I expect something of a higher caliber from you.”

“Sorry, this is all you get from me.”

“God damn it. Why you gotta be so perfect?” Tony sipped his coffee.

“Did you not just insult my sense of humor?”

“True perfection is flawed,” Tony stated. “And apparently, immature.”

Bucky stuck his tongue out at Tony.

Tony mimicked the action back at Bucky.

Tony enjoyed another sip of his coffee. “Let’s do it.”

Bucky grinned from ear to ear. “I’ll switch into my sweats and do some warm ups, let me know when you’re ready.”

“Will do.” Tony went to the kitchen table and sat down with his coffee. He had FRIDAY pull up a newsfeed for him to skim over while he enjoyed his first cup. Even with the news to keep him distracted, Tony finished the beverage in a few minutes and went for seconds. He took his second cup to the bedroom where he switched into his jeans and a T-shirt.

He might have been a little slow getting dressed as he admired the view of Bucky doing push ups. Tony wouldn’t deny that a number of his teammates were attractive, and that Bucky was one of them. Also, there was just something mesmerizing about the flexing of Bucky’s back muscles as he did his push ups. The movements were so fluid and effortless it was hard _not_ to look and marvel.

Maybe Tony should consider doing some more exercises, if he could look half as good as Bucky, he thought to himself.

Bucky paused and looked over his shoulder at Tony. “You ready?”

Tony slurped down the last of his second cup of coffee. “Yeah, just let me put this in the sink.”

Tony did as he said he would and headed for the elevator where Bucky waited.

Suddenly Tony’s nerves acted up and he wasn’t sure if he should just climb on Bucky there or wait until they were on the ground floor, because—

Bucky turned around and showed Tony his back. “Climb on.”

“Can I do a run and jump?” Tony asked.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Sure, whatever gets you going.”

“Oh, well that requires a little wine, some good conversation, and some not so subtle inappropriate touching in public places.” Tony backed up a few paces.

“We can ask Pepper about the wine when we get to SI, and your crotch is going to be rubbing up against my back so that counts as inappropriate touching in public.”

Tony chuckled. He ran and jumped, Bucky catching him like they’d practiced the maneuver.

Tony looped his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and neck. “Great, now we just need some excellent conversation. I guess that is going to be hard though, considering the lack of maturity that comes out of your mouth.”

“Like you can talk, Tony.” Bucky carried Tony into the elevator and waited patiently to be taken to the ground floor.

“Hey, my conversation skills are amazing, and I talk about a lot of adult things.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.”

Tony opened his mouth to speak, but cut himself off when the elevator stopped and the doors opened at Steve’s floor.

Steve and Sam stared gawked at Bucky and Tony.

Tony waved at Steve and Sam. “Hello.”

“Is there a reason you are riding Bucky?” Sam asked.

“Oh god, his humor is as bad as yours,” Tony said to Bucky.

Bucky smirked at Sam. “Thank you for joining me in the gutter.”

“Is this caused by your bond breaking?” Steve asked.

Tony wrinkled his nose at Steve. “You can’t just ask someone that, Steve.”

Bucky nodded. “Rude.”

Steve flushed. “Sorry, I just—“

“We’re teasing,” Tony said.

“But it’s still very rude,” Bucky added.

“They’re right, Steve,” Sam pointed out. “That’s actually very personal information, and while you may be close to Bucky and Tony, it’s not your place to ask something like that.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Just get in the elevator already. Bucky and I want to go for a run.”

Sam entered the elevator like nothing was abnormal; whereas, Steve stepped into it like someone had told him there was a tripwire hidden across the ground. He eyed Bucky and Tony. “You two seem better,” Steve said, his voice dripping with hesitance. “Happier.”

Tony mock scoffed. “Bucky is totally immature and likes to pick on me.”

“Tony is equally immature, and he likes to pick on me too, but I just have snappier and better comebacks so he gets pouty and acts like a sore loser.”

“I do not!” Tony ruffled Bucky’s hair until it looked like Bucky had been running through a tornado.

The elevator reached the ground floor, and Bucky bolted for the exit.

Tony waved farewell to his teammates. “You’ll see us on the news at six!”

Tony wished he could have heard Steve and Sam’s responses to his shouted goodbye, but he’d just have to make due with their reactions to photos and videos of him and Bucky running around New York like a couple of dorks later. The Internet was going to be filled with so much footage. Everywhere Bucky and Tony went someone pulled out a phone or camera and snapped a picture of them. Tony wouldn’t be surprised at all if some news stations weren’t already reporting on Tony’s epic piggyback ride through New York by the time he and Bucky reached SI.

Tony grinned as Bucky carried him in through the front doors of SI and he saw on one of the small TVs in the reception area a picture of him tugging on Bucky’s hair and pointing at something in the distance while Bucky casually glanced in the direction of Tony’s finger.

Bucky gently set Tony down. Tony chuckled at all the wide-eyed looks and sneaky glances they were getting from people on the ground floor.

“C’mon.” Tony grabbed Bucky’s wrist and tugged him to the elevators. “Time to see the queen of the company.”

“I don’t think your employees will ever look at you the same way again,” Bucky said, a hint of laughter in his tone.

Tony waved it off. “Nah. It will last about a week, then it will go back to normal. A lot of people are used to me doing crazy things. Now if it had been Steve who I had rode over here…” Tony threw his hand over his heart. “I’d be evil incarnate. I’d have defiled a national icon. Old ladies would hit me with their purses every time I’d walk past them.” Tony hit the button that would take him to Pepper’s office.

“We’re still talking about just a piggyback ride, right? And about Steve Rogers, right? Cause the Steve Rogers I know is not some church boy, and is actually quite the rebel.”

Tony scoffed.

“Just because he doesn’t dye his hair green, pierce his tongue, and wear a black leather jacket everyday whether it is hot or cold doesn’t mean he is not a rebel,” Bucky protested.

“Try telling that to the rest of the world,” Tony said.

Bucky’s face scrunched.

The elevator opened up to Pepper’s office.

Pepper leaned against her desk as she talked on the phone with someone from R&D and flipped through her tablet and tapped on the screen.

Pepper beamed at Tony and Bucky’s arrival. She waved for them to take a seat on the plush chairs.

Tony did so, but Bucky hung back against the wall.

Tony turned in his chair and sent a curious look Bucky’s way.

Bucky gestured for Tony to ignore him.

Tony frowned, but before he could say or do anything about Bucky’s reaction, Pepper hung up.

“So I don’t think I really need to say this, but the press is having a field day thanks to you two.” Pepper smiled and patted Tony’s shoulder as she walked by to take a seat at her desk.

“Just tell me how many headlines have been unintentionally sexual,” Tony said.

“I’ve counted three so far.” Pepper frowned at Bucky. “You can sit down, Bucky.”

Bucky motioned that he was fine in his corner.

Tony huffed and once again twisted in his seat so he was facing Bucky. “We’re not going to stop bothering you until you come out of the time out corner. Honestly, if you’re so scared of Pepper you should have told me.”

“I’m not scared of Pepper.” Bucky slowly crossed the room to take the seat next to Tony. “I wanted to give you two some sense of privacy.”

“My life is an open book,” Tony stated.

Pepper hit Tony with a deadpanned stare.

“What?” Tony asked.

“Because you’ve never had a secret, not once in your life?”

“I swear it,” Tony said.

Pepper rolled her eyes. “I’m glad you came over; although, I wish you had called beforehand. It’s only because of the media reporting everywhere you and Bucky were going that I realized you were headed this way. I was able to shift one of meetings around to later tonight.”

“Sorry, spur of the moment decision,” Tony said. “I just wanted to make sure you are okay.”

Pepper frowned. “I should be the one asking you that.”

“Yeah, but you cried.”

“Oh, Tony,” Pepper’s voice was full of sympathy and guilt. She reached across the space between them and touched his knee. “I’m sorry I lost my composure, and for hitting you with a pillow, but you really shouldn’t be checking on me. In fact,” she squeezed his knee, “I should have come to see you. I didn’t handle myself as well I as I should have at the tower. I just… I’d only been told a few days ago, and I did my best to keep my composure, but when I realized…” Pepper cut herself off. “I’m sorry, I’m making this all about me again, and I shouldn’t.” She forced a smile. “How are you?”

Tony’s heart ached for Pepper. “Listen, you don’t have to apologize for the pillow thing. If it had been Rhodey I would have done the same to him. Although, I wouldn’t have done it to you, because you scare me, and I am man enough to admit it.” Tony mockingly side-eyed Bucky.

Bucky huffed, but kept quiet.

“Tony, please, you don’t have to put on a brave face for me,” Pepper said. She bowed her head. “I just feel terrible. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.”

“Hey, you helped Bucky, Steve, and me get our heads out of our asses, so I think you’ve already done your part.”

Pepper bit the inside of her cheek, debating saying something.

Tony didn’t like that at all. “Come on, Pep. You know you can ask or tell me anything.” It felt like an iron fist was gripping his heart. “Not that you have to, of course, since, well… you know… we…” they weren’t dating anymore.

Bucky’s hand went to his chest, massaging it gently. His eyes flickered between Tony and Pepper.

“I keep thinking about everything you told me, Tony,” Pepper said quietly. “And even though I can reason my way through your motivations, emotionally I just… it’s like my head accepts and understand why you did what you did, but my heart just doesn’t.”

Pepper turned a glare on Bucky. “And even though I know it’s not your fault, that you have every right to choose who is your partner and that these are exceptional circumstances that steals that right from you, I just… I’m so furious with you. Why wouldn’t you want Tony? Maybe on the surface he seems arrogant and selfish, but he’s actually one the most selfless people I know. It’s the very reason why he did what he did.”

Bucky turned his head away from Pepper, not arguing with her.

Pepper sighed. “That’s the problem though. I don’t know what your relationship was like right before this happened, but it’s obvious that you saw the good in Tony too, and you didn’t want to burden him with yourself.”

Pepper shook her head.

Tony faked a smile. “As you said, we’re perfect for each other. Neither one of us wanted to be a burden.”

“And it just makes me mad, because from what I can tell, you two have your issues, but at the end of the day both of you are good people.” Pepper pushed a strand of hair behind her ears and took a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m talking about myself again. I just…” Pepper paused, mulling over her next words. “…I want both of you to be happy. I just wish I knew how to make it happen.”

Tony reached out to take Bucky’s hand in his, drawing comfort from the touch.

Bucky looked at Tony and their interlocked fingers. After a moment of silence, he tugged Tony toward him so Tony’s forehead rested on his shoulder.

“This is a good first step,” Bucky said.

Tony nodded and squeezed Bucky’s hand tighter. “I still don’t like it.”

Bucky tensed.

Tony closed his eyes and tried to focus on his emotions and projecting them so Bucky would understand what he was trying to communicate. “I don’t like that neither of us have a choice. It’s honestly some cruel joke of the universe that we really get no say in the matter unless one of us is asshole enough to want me to go insane.”

“I don’t want—”

Tony pressed a finger to Bucky’s mouth and shushed him. “I didn’t say you do or did. It’s kind of hard to make that argument when even when you were rejecting me you were trying to get me and Steve to work it out and see if there was any way the two of us could strengthen our bond. Plus, I do remember you saying that were willing to be my partner, but you wanted Steve and me to explore every avenue before I tried anything with you. A real asshole wouldn’t have given a shit one way or the other, but you obviously didn’t want me to go unbonded. And I now get that you thought you were the burden.”

“Doesn’t exactly make it what I did okay either,” Bucky grumbled.

“Listen, can we both agree we were panicking and did and said stupid things?” Tony asked.

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek.

Tony huffed. “I’m not hiding anything from you, Bucky; you can sense my sincerity.”

Bucky didn’t meet Tony’s eyes.

Bucky’s muscles tensed.

Tony cocked his head and examined Bucky.

His gut sank as he realized what had caused Bucky’s reaction.

Guilt. Bucky felt guilty because even though Tony was probably pelting him with sincerity, Bucky couldn’t bring himself to trust what Tony was saying or projecting—not after what had happened the last time Tony had projected emotions at him.

A lump formed in Tony’s throat. Without thinking, Tony threw his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and tugged Bucky down toward him so he could nuzzle Bucky’s neck.

Bucky stiffened at first then loosened up once he realized Tony wasn’t attacking him or doing anything of the sort.

Bucky looped an arm around Tony’s waist and rested his head on top of Tony’s. He released a heavy sigh as he sank against Tony. “Sorry,” Bucky mumbled.

Tony shook his head. “Can’t exactly blame you for having some trust issues after I lied to you and everyone for a week.”

“No, I—”

Tony slapped Bucky’s thigh. “Shut up, you idiot. This situation is messy and complicated as hell, but there is no denying that I used our bond to trick you, even if you were smart enough to question it after a while.” Tony shuddered. “Actually I’m kind of glad you did; otherwise, I might not be here now.”

Bucky sucked in a sharp breath. The arm around Tony tightened, plastering him against Bucky.

“Would you two like me to leave you alone?” Pepper asked.

Tony shook his head. “It’s fine. There’s just still so much to talk about.” Tony scowled. “I hate it. I just want it to be over with, and no, I do not mean that in the suicidal way. I just… I made a mistake. I don’t intend to do it again, but…” Tony growled in frustration. “I’ve barely interacted with anyone, and I can already tell that everyone is going to treat me differently. No one cared when I almost offed myself by flying into a black hole. I did that to save people, and to be fair, I thought I was saving people too when I isolated myself.”

“But you weren’t Tony,” Pepper said. “And those two instances are very different. Also, don’t think for a moment no one was affected by that moment with the black hole. My heart almost stopped when I saw you fly into it, and I’ve been more terrified of losing you since.”

“They aren’t that different,” Tony said.

Pepper scowled.

“All right, all right,” Tony said. “Maybe there is some difference, but the end result would have been the same if things had gone south in either situation. One dead Tony.”

Pepper cringed. “Please don’t say that so casually.”

“It’s true,” Tony said.

Bucky huffed and guided Tony’s head back under his chin where Tony had plenty of access to Bucky’s comforting scent. “I don’t think you’re going to get much better responses. He’s in a stubborn mood.”

Tony huffed even as he scented Bucky’s neck and cuddled against Bucky’s side. “I am not.”

Bucky’s fingers massaged Tony’s scalp and Tony moaned as it eased the tension out of his body. “Please, never stop doing that.”

Bucky smiled as his fingers drifted down to where Tony’s neck and skull met.

Tony went limp against Bucky. “I will marry your fingers.”

“If you can find a country where that is legal, then maybe I’ll consider it; otherwise, the only way you are marrying my fingers is if you marry me, and you haven’t even asked me out on a date yet.”

Tony grumbled incoherently.

Pepper shook her head. “I’d say this is the oddest thing I’ve seen when it comes to Tony, but that’d be a lie.”

“I’m going to marry Bucky’s fingers.”

“When you find a country it is legal in,” Bucky stated.

“When I find a country it is legal in,” Tony agreed and basked in the glorious scalp massage.


	15. Chapter 15

“Congrats, you and Bucky broke the Internet,” Clint said from behind Tony.

Tony whirled and threw his hand over his heart. How the hell had Clint managed to sneak up on him? With his senses he should have been able to hear Clint coming. “What the heck did you do? Teleport into the kitchen?”

Clint shrugged. “You tend to be distracted when you make coffee, I just took advantage.” Clint smiled. “Also, I’ve practiced sneaking up on Natasha, so—”

“And he still can’t sense when I sneak up on him,” Natasha said as she strode up behind Clint.

Clint jumped and spun around. “Holy shit! Why’d you do that?” Clint’s head swiveled between Tony and Natasha before landing on Tony. “You saw her coming and didn’t warn me?”

“Revenge.” Tony grinned manically.

Natasha tossed a newspaper onto the kitchen counter. A picture of Tony and Bucky consumed the front page. Tony was greatly disappointed by the banal headline that lacked innuendo.

Tony wrinkled his nose as the coffee maker clicked off. “They still print those things?” He grabbed the coffee pot and poured his favorite drink into a mug large enough to hold two servings.

“So things between you and Bucky are going well then?” Natasha inquired.

“Yup,” Tony popped the ‘p’ sound. “There’s a lot of floundering and way too many emotional conversations, but overall we’re doing good. He’s a lot more funny than I originally thought he was. I can actually believe some of Steve’s ‘Bucky is awesome’ stories.”

Natasha nodded, taking in what Tony had said.

“And how are you doing?” Clint asked.

Tony frowned and sipped his coffee. “What kind of question is that? I think the answer is obvious if you two actually read that ancient artifact.” Tony nodded at the newspaper. He shoved himself away from the counter and headed for the living room.

“I think it’s a fair question to ask,” Clint hollered after Tony.

“Not in the mood to talk about it,” Tony sing-songed over his shoulder.

Clint sighed and followed on Tony’s heels. “Listen, I’m sorry if I came off as a jerk before. I was just mad and frustrated and I just didn’t know what to do. Riding Bucky through New York aside, Natasha and I just want to make sure you are okay.”

Tony changed his path, deciding to forgo spending time on the communal floor, even though just a few minutes ago he’d decided that he needed to see something other than the inside of his penthouse. “I’m fine.”

“Fine has variable definitions.”

“Don’t you quote Star Trek at me,” Tony reprimanded Clint as he stepped into the elevator.

Clint deflated. “Okay. If you don’t want to talk then I’ll accept that, but please keep in mind that Natasha and I just want to know that you’re doing well. You scared us for a while there, and we’re concerned.”

“Your concern is appreciated,” Tony said flatly. “But I’ve already done the Kumbaya shtick enough times in the last forty-eight hours that all I want to do is drink my coffee and laugh at cat videos on the Internet. FRIDAY, up.”

“Right away, boss.” The elevator doors closed, cutting off what Clint had to say.

Tony slouched against the wall as the elevator rose. He really did appreciate Natasha and Clint’s concern, but right now, all he wanted to do was forget about everything that had happened and just spend an hour or two enjoying life—not being reminded that he’d almost given it up.

He’d talk to Clint and Natasha eventually—hell, he should probably just arrange a meeting with the whole team to get everything done and over with at once so that they could stop worrying and so that he could move on.

Later though, right now he needed to curl up on the couch and relax.

* * *

“This is bull shit,” Tony struggled to control his volume.

After what felt like an eternity, he’d finally went down to his workshop just to tinker for a little, but and less than an hour later Fury had waltzed in and started acting like the dictator of Tony’s life. “You can’t come down here and tell me that I’m benched from the Avengers! Are you trying to get people killed?”

“Tony,” Bucky, who had peacefully been reading something on his personal tablet while Tony had been working, had stood up and was headed toward Tony. His hand was outstretched like he planned to touch Tony, but Tony scowled and jerked his body away from Bucky, making it clear he didn’t want to be touched.

“No, don’t tell me to calm down. I just asked a fair question.” Tony whirled on Fury.

Fury was impervious to Tony’s rage, which only pissed Tony off more.

“It’s not arrogance talking when I say I am not only one of the heavy hitters on the team but I’m also air support and possess a genius intellect that can’t be rivaled by anyone on the team. Taking me off the team would be the stupidest thing you could ever do.”

“Against an alien army?” Fury questioned. “I agree. Against a Hydra base or two, or even against an Inhuman?” Fury gave a deferential nod. “Depending on the Inhuman, maybe you’re needed, but as for a small Hydra base or a terrorist group? There are enough Avengers to take one of those down without you. When we need the big guns we’ll call you in.”

“And you think I won’t go chasing after my team?” Tony crossed his arms over his chest. “You really think they’ll stop me from helping them?”

“That’s on them, but if you do that you’ll be acting on your own, and that means SHIELD will not step in to protect you legally, which I am also sure means nothing to you. However, before you call your lawyers and tell them to get ready to prep for future legal battles, perhaps you should look into all of the lawsuits SHIELD and the government has gotten when it comes to the Avengers. You’ll be hiring every god damn lawyer in the city to cover your ass, something I think would even break you bank after a while.”

Tony scoffed. “I’ve never been afraid of a legal battle.”

“Fine, then allow me to speak to your rational side which has decided to go on vacation for the moment since you seem to be ignoring the reason why I am giving you this order: You just attempted suicide not that long ago. If you were an actual agent of SHIELD you would have been put in a holding cell to be monitored and you would already be talking to a therapist.”

Tony’s muscles bunched and his nerves tingled with uncertainty. It was only his anger that kept him from bowing out of his fight with Fury. “So? I am not an agent, and as I have told you many times in many forms: you are not the director of me.”

“You think I like this? You think I’m punishing you?” Fury paced around on the workbenches, eyeing the equipment of Tony’s workshop. “This is for your safety and the safety of others. As of right now, you’re mental state is questionable. If you want SHIELD’s backing then you’ll have to attend therapy and be cleared for the field.”

“I’m not going to therapy.”

“Then the next time you go out to fight, chances are it’s going to be without SHIELD’s backing, and while you might be able to brush off any legal skirmish that may arise from your first solo act, I promise you you’ll be struggling after a while.”

Fury’s expression softened. “Don’t make this harder on yourself.”

Tony scowled, and his fists curled at his side.

Bucky stepped up next to Tony. “I’m not going to lie and say after everything Tony’s been through bringing up therapy as an option is a bad idea; however,” Bucky’s voice dropped an octave and he gave Fury a look that promised a fight if Fury so much as dismissed the next words that would come out of his mouth, “that doesn’t give you or anyone the right to pressure Tony into it. Therapy is absolutely meaningless if you’re just going to shove the person into it. They have to go willingly.”

Bucky’s words gave Tony pause. He hadn’t expected Bucky to back him up—not against Fury.

“An excellent point, Sergeant; however, I would still be an idiot if I sent Tony or you into the field without some sort of mental exam.”

Bucky jerked. “Me?”

Fury nodded. “Yes, you. A man who SHIELD thought would be best left unbonded now bonded to a sentinel who just attempted suicide. You bet both of you need a mental examination before SHIELD can even consider backing you.”

“So now you’re not only trying to prevent me from helping others, your trying to do the same to Bucky, “Tony accused.

“And how do we know helping others is what will happen?” Fury asked. “I have reports from that island that tell me, the two of you lost control of yourselves, and from what I can gather, it was because of your bond. I am not being unreasonable here, Tony, and you know it. Trust me, I want to believe that that everything that has happened these last few weeks has just been a string of bad luck and poor choices that won’t be repeated, but what you and I do affects so many people. I can’t just on good faith ignore everything that has happened. As you pointed out, you’re free to jump into battles as you see fit. And just like before SHIELD, you can take care of any fallout, and I wish you all the best. I even hope that after all this blows over that we can work together again, but for now nothing you say or do is going to change the fact that SHEID won’t back you without a mental exam or therapy or some sort.” Fury glanced at Bucky. “Both of you.”

Tony just wanted to punch Fury. He understood what the man was saying and that this wasn’t a personal attack from Fury, but it still felt like one.

He’d gone from being backed into one corner into being backed into another one, and he didn’t like it.

Bucky’s fingers brushed across Tony’s hand, silently asking permission to take Tony’s hand.

Anger and pride encouraged Tony to pull his hand away, but logic told him that this was just Bucky trying to help and comfort. It took every ounce of Tony’s willpower to grab Bucky’s hand and hold it.

Fury’s attention flicked to their clasped hands. “I hope you know I’m not lying when I say I wish you two the best. Whatever issues happened to bring us to this point, I hope they are resolved.”

Tony scoffed. “’Resolved?’ You act like Bucky and I just had a spat over who gets control of the TV remote.”

“I would think you would appreciate the understatement. Knowing your friends and teammates, if they haven’t already barraged you with questions, statements, and platitudes then they are certainly going to do so. They’ve probably been biding their time and waiting for you to get a little stronger.”

“They certainly have,” Bucky grumbled.

Tony whirled on Bucky. “You going to share that information with the class?”

“Let’s just say I get a lot of texts from Steve and Natasha.” Bucky frowned. “I’ve gotten a few from Sam too.”

“What’s so odd about Sam doing that?”

“I didn’t say it was odd.”

“You’re face did.”

Bucky hesitated. “Sam just asks about me too. I wasn’t expecting that.”

Protectiveness swelled in Tony’s chest. Tony understood that he was currently the center of attention and that everyone was monitoring him to some degree, but he didn’t like how other than Sam, Bucky seemed to be being used as some sort of information vending machine by the others. He didn’t like it for himself or for Bucky.

Bucky and him were going through a transitional period, and it wasn’t easy. Treating him as a liaison without any regard for Bucky himself ticked Tony off.

“Don’t worry about me,” Bucky said to Tony.

“Too bad. You’re my guide. I’m not letting anyone mess with you, even if they don’t mean it.”

“Well, that’s a good sign, at least,” Fury commented.

Bucky scowled. “You said what you came here to say. Don’t be a smartass.”

“Just an observation,” Fury stated. He gave a small nod. “Unless you two have questions, I will be going now. You know how to contact me if and when you’re ready to discuss therapy.”

“Don’t wait by the phone,” Tony said.

Fury didn’t sass Tony back as he left the workshop.

Once Fury disappeared, Tony scowled and let go of Bucky’s hand. “Can you believe that asshole? Acting like I need him or his super not so secret organization to protect me from a bunch lawsuits. Hell, acting like I need their approval at all. Iron Man existed before the Avengers and he’ll—”

Tony stopped mid-turn.

Bucky was half seated on one of Tony’s workbenches. He was bent forward and pinching the bridge of his nose. He breathed deeply and hugged his stomach. His hair fell across his face, obscuring most of it from view, but Tony could still see the tightness in Bucky’s jaw.

Worry doused out Tony’s anger.

In two strides, Tony stood in front Bucky. He clasped Bucky’s knees and leaned into Bucky, their foreheads a hairbreadth apart. “What’s wrong?”

Bucky grunted. “Nothing. Just a lot of anger. It hurts my head, and… just feels like I’m slipping.”

“What do you mean ‘slipping’?”

Bucky took a deep breath. He shuddered. “Just…slipping. It’s hard to describe without making it sound worse than it is.”

“Then just describe it. I’ll keep in mind that it sounds worse than it is.”

Bucky tensed.

The temptation to speak further words of encouragement was great, but Tony knew all that would do is add unnecessary pressure to Bucky.

Bucky’s hands went to Tony’s hips. He slowly lifted his head and met Tony’s eyes.

Tony sucked in a sharp gasp of air as the blank gaze of the Winter Soldier stared back at him.

Bucky blinked and it was gone. He looked away. “I’m still aware and in control, but it’s like trying to hold sand. You can do it, but grains are still going slip out between your fingers.”

“Sorry,” Tony said.

“I told you not apologize.” Bucky sighed and rubbed his temple with the heel of his palm. “I just have to work on it.”

Guilt twisted in Tony’s gut. “Bucky, this is one of the reasons why you were scared to bond with me.”

“And right now we’re still recovering from our bond breaking and reforming. I’m getting your emotions stronger than ever. I’m going to be more affected by them for now.”

Tony didn’t like that answer. His hands slid up Bucky’s knees to Bucky’s head. Slowly, so Bucky could pull away if he chose, Tony slid his fingers through Bucky’s hair and held Bucky’s head. Tony searched Bucky’s face for any signs of deceit. What he saw was exhaustion. “I wish I could pick up on your emotions like you can mine.”

“You’re doing a good job so far,” Bucky mumbled.

Tony shook his head. “I can’t tell if you’re just saying that to make me feel less guilty or if you really believe what you are saying.”

“What do your instincts say?”

“It’s a half-truth,” spilled out of Tony’s mouth far easier than he’d predicted it would. “You’re right. Right now my emotions are coming in stronger than before and there’s hope that we won’t have to worry about that once we get over the bond loss B.S. However, we can spend quite a bit of time apart now. And this,” Tony cocked his chin at his hands, “me holding you like this isn’t some bond compulsion, this is just me being touchy-feely. Some of our symptoms are dying down, but I’m not too sure the emotional feed is. Also, it doesn’t change the fact that right now you feel like you’re slipping back to who you used to be, and I think that terrifies you.”

Tony met Bucky’s stare, trying to see if Bucky would look away, but Bucky met him head on.

“Am I right?” Tony asked.

The hands on Tony’s hips squeezed him.

Bucky didn’t answer.

“If this bond is going to work we’re going to need to be honest with each other,” Tony said. “Especially after everything we’ve been through.”

Bucky sighed. He slouched against Tony, his forehead resting on Tony’s shoulder. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am.”

Bucky grunted in amusement.

Tony ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair, massaging Bucky’s scalp like Bucky often did to him.

Bucky moaned.

Tony grinned. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Now I know why you wanted to marry my fingers so bad.”

“Still do.”

Bucky was silent as Tony continued to massage his scalp.

Bucky took a deep breath and released it. “Your instincts are spot on.”

Tony tensed a little, but kept massaging Bucky’s head. “If it’s any consolation, there’s a part of me that wishes they weren’t.”

“Picked that up,” Bucky mumbled. He took another deep breath and pulled away from Tony. “Maybe the emotions are the last of the symptoms to disappear, and maybe I am worrying for no reason, but I can’t help but wonder if this is permanent.”

Tony opened his mouth to speak, but Bucky placed a finger on his lips. “And I don’t want to hear you apologize. You didn’t increase the strength of the emotions coming through the bond, and it is unrealistic for you to try and smother your emotions all the time or avoid negative ones. I just…” the fingers Bucky had on Tony’s hips twitched. “…I just don’t know what will happen if I lose control.”

“You’re preaching to the choir,” Tony said.

“As far as I know I never bonded when I was the Asset. I don’t know if the bond will keep me in line or if I’ll go completely off the rails and try to kill everyone.”

“You make it sound like no one in this tower can defend their self.”

“A few of you can’t without weapons or armor, and not everyone is armed at all times. Plus,” Bucky hung his head low, “how do I know I will come back if I fully revert to the Asset?”

Tony’s heart twisted with guilt and sympathy. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and head, and pressed Bucky’s face to his chest. He wished he could promise Bucky that he had nothing to worry about, and that everything would be fine, but he’d hated false platitudes most of his life, and he didn’t feel like giving them out. “I don’t know, but you can sure as hell bet that if that ever does happen, the team and I are going to do everything we can to bring you back to yourself. Steve spent years hunting you down while you were under Hydra’s control. He and the rest of us will do it again if we have to.”

“But you can’t promise that I’ll come back.”

“No. But as I said, no one is going to give you up without a fight.”

* * *

Hours later, Steve asked as he waltzed into Tony’s lab. “Did you get the information I sent you?”

Tony hummed as he brain switched its attention away from the readings he’d gathered from the moon gemstone before his personal life had taken over everything going on around him.

“The one about Vision and Wanda coming back from their mission? Yes.”

Steve strolled up to the table Tony was sitting at. He skimmed the holographic images and readings in front of Tony. “You also saw that they have been informed of what has been going on for the last few weeks?”

“I saw.”

“Vision expressed some concern and Wanda… she struggled.”

Tony snorted. “Wanda and I have a strained relationship, Steve. Don’t worry, my ego is not hurt because she didn’t break down into tears.”

“I just don’t want you thinking that she—”

“Wishes I were dead?” Tony rolled his eyes. “Our relationship is strained, but even I know that she doesn’t hate me that much.”

“They’ll probably want to talk to you,” Steve said.

“Which is further reason for me to just get everyone together at once and hash things out.” Tony took a deep breath, trying to keep his frustration in check. If he was starting to feel a headache, he didn’t want to think what Bucky was feeling. “I just want to get this done and over with and move on.”

Steve’s brow wrinkled. “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Why not?” Tony huffed. “I realize I made a mistake. I won’t do it again. Why does there have to be anything more to it than that?”

“Because what happened affected everyone, Tony, and some people aren’t ready to move on. We all care about you, and even though you say you’re fine and that you want to move on…” Steve trailed off.

“None of you can be sure if I really mean that or if I’m deceiving all of you again.”

Steve didn’t say anything, just shifted awkwardly.

Tony sighed. “You know, it’s okay for you to be blunt with me. I’m not going to freak out if you say something I don’t want to hear. I’m used to that.” Tony smiled. “Fighting like cats and dogs is pretty much what we do, Steve. I’d be disappointed if you started tiptoeing around me because you’re afraid you’re going to hurt my feelings.”

Steve slumped. He ran his hand through his hair. “Sorry, Tony. This is all just so new to me.”

Tony shrugged. “Welcome to the club, I guess.”

“Fury is pressing me to talk you into therapy,” Steve stated.

Tony scowled. “Figures.”

“I don’t think therapy is a bad idea,” Steve said. “I just think the way Fury is going about it is bad. Look at Bucky. Therapy helped him.”

“Listen, Bucky and I have gotten closer, and I’m even fond of the guy, but I’ll be the first to admit that Bucky is not the person you should be using as an example for why therapy works.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow. “Really? Don’t you remember what Bucky was like when we got him back from HYDRA?”

Sullen. Angry. Bucky had had the tendency to lash out. Bucky also frequently had lost control or fallen back on his Winter Soldier persona.

Now some days Bucky could compete with Grumpy Cat when it came to best frowny face but he also laughed and joked. There was a spark to him that hadn’t been before.

“I hate therapy,” Tony stated.

“That’s fine, and if you choose not go to therapy, that’s fine too,” Steve said. “I’ll support you.”

Tony grinned. “Taking Pepper’s words to heart, huh?”

Steve smiled at Tony. “Pepper is an exceptionally smart woman. I’d be an idiot not listen to her.”

Tony sighed. He stared at his holographs. He poked at the holographs and drew symbols and figures across the projected information.

He wanted to move on with his life, and it seemed like putting up with a few therapy sessions was something he was going to have to do.

Also, as much as he hated therapy, maybe it would help him and Bucky. Bucky was right that Tony couldn’t keep his emotions in check twenty-four/seven, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t learn a few techniques that could help be less prone negative emotions or at least deal with them faster. No one had to know what Tony discussed in therapy. He could actually use the time to inquire about such techniques.

“I’ll think about it. Let me get through talking to the team all at once first though, cause I swear if I have to do more than one more emotional talk, I am going to lose it.”


	16. Chapter 16

“I probably shouldn’t say this, but what you are doing is ridiculous and a little bit adorable,” Bucky said as he set the bowl of potato chips on the coffee table.

Tony grunted as he pushed one of the sofas in place so that he had a circle of couches around the coffee table in his living room. “Aw.” Tony batted his eyelashes at Bucky. “You think I’m adorable?”

“I said _this_ ,” Bucky gestured to the couches and the bowls of food Tony had set out on the table, “is a little adorable. It’s mostly ridiculous.”

“I’m still cute though, right?” Tony asked.

Bucky pinched his forefinger and thumb together.

“I’m more cute than that,” Tony argued.

“I don’t know about that. I’ve known a lot of cute people,” Bucky teased as he went to the kitchen to retrieve the two different batches of hummus Tony had ordered from a local restaurant. “Quite a few cuter than you.”

Tony picked up a throw pillow and tossed it at Bucky’s head. “Jackass. I’m the most adorable person you have ever met.”

“And the most violent.” Bucky eye-rolled as he picked up the two dishes. He eyed the coffee table. “I don’t think there’s any room left for these on the table.”

“Then we’ll grab a spare table and add on.” Tony could use his nightstand.

“How about we cut back on the overdoing? I get that this is a big deal, and part of the reason why you have so much food is in the hopes of keeping everyone from talking too much, but everything is going to be fine. Everyone here is your friend.”

“I’m not sure Wanda is my friend,” Tony countered.

Bucky hit Tony with a deadpanned stared as he moved around the plates and bowls of food on the table. He managed to squeeze in one bowl of hummus onto the table. “You and Wanda aren’t besties, but you care about each other. Case and point, before we bonded, we weren’t best friends, but when the Quinjet went down I didn’t let you drown.”

Tony frowned. There had been so much going on since the initial crash that had led them to this point that Tony had forgotten that little detail. “You’re right, but now I wonder: why did you save me?”

Bucky huffed in annoyance. “Tony, really? You need to ask that. Didn’t I just say—”

“I mean why did you save me and not Steve or someone else? Steve’s your best friend, and considering what happened the last time Steve was in any sort of aircraft that went down over the ocean, I would think he’d have been your priority.”

Bucky shrugged. “You were closest at the time. Plus, you’ve never been a big fan of bodies of water.”

Surprise shot through Tony. “I never told you that.”

“You didn’t have to. I noticed it myself.” Bucky shrugged for the second time in less than a minute. “When I saw you in the water I knew you were panicking. The thought of saving Steve or anyone else didn’t even cross my mind.”

Maybe it was morbid, but Tony felt oddly touched by Bucky’s confession. “Thanks.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Kind of was actually. You saved my life, Bucky.”

Bucky didn’t met Tony’s gaze as he once again tried to make room for the second bowl of hummus on the overcrowded table. “It’s what Avengers do. Besides, I ruined it quite a bit of your life too.”

Tony sighed and went over to Bucky. He clamped his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Please don’t make me have to get all touchy feely already. It’s bad enough that in a few minutes, I’m literally going to have everyone up in a circle to share our thoughts feelings.” Tony threw his head back and groaned. “When and why did my life become a terrible after school special?”

Bucky took a deep breath and touched the hand Tony had placed on his shoulder. “I’ll try. Forgive me for feeling guilty?”

“Considering how many times I’ve tried to apologize for this mess after we agreed to stop with all of this apologizing and guilty crap? I think I can make an exception,” Tony answered.

“Boss, Wanda and Vision are already on their way up? Should I delay them or allow them to arrive early for your…” FRIDAY hesitated “…’circle of feelings.’”

Bucky arched an eyebrow at Tony.

“Don’t judge me,” Tony said to Bucky. “Let them come up, FRIDAY. Might as well get this pain in the ass over with.”

“You know you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Bucky said. “Everyone will understand. This isn’t exactly the most pleasant thing to talk about.”

“If I don’t do it now then I’ll never do it,” Tony said.

At that moment the elevator opened and Wanda and Vision stepped out.

A soft, small smile curved Vision’s lips, while Wanda smiled nervously. She had looped her arm through Vision’s and she clung to him for support.

“Stark,” Wanda greeted.

Tony nodded. “Maximoff.”

Vision disentangled himself from Wanda and floated over to Tony. He opened his arms. “It is good to see you again my friend, though I must admit that my chest aches for you after Steve informed Wanda and myself of your recent tribulations.”

Tony happily hugged Vision. Vision wasn’t JARVIS, and there were some days when it was painful to be around Vision, but Vision… he had his zen thing going on, and Tony liked it. “Thanks buddy. This is why you are my favorite.”

“You seem to have a lot of favorites,” Bucky commented.

Tony withdrew from Vision’s embrace. “I can have as many favorites as I want.” Tony stuck his tongue out at Bucky.

“Unless you plan to stick your tongue down someone’s throat, you really should stop doing that,” Bucky quipped and flopped onto one of the couches.

“Maybe I will, Bucky. Maybe I will,” Tony playfully threatened.

“You seem happy,” Wanda said cautiously.

Tony waved off her comment. “Funny thing about emotions and mental states, they are always changing. So just because someone is depressed a week or two ago doesn’t mean they are now.”

Wanda nodded, although her expression was full of doubt. She took a seat on the couch across from Bucky. She picked up a slice of pita bread from the plethora of food on the table. “It is good to see you’re doing better.” Wanda turned her focus to Bucky. “And you too. My understanding is that you’ve gone through quite a bit as well.”

“Not as much as Tony,” Bucky deflected.

Tony scoffed. He plopped himself down next to Bucky. He threw his leg across Bucky’s lap and draped his arm across Bucky’s shoulder. “He’s probably gone through just as much as me. He just didn’t have a mental breakdown that resulted in him almost killing himself.”

Wanda and Bucky flinched.

Vision just nodded as he sat next to Wanda. “I see.”

“Boss, the rest of the Avengers are on their way up now.”

“Fantastic. Vision, I know you just sat down, but I’m really comfy here half on top of Bucky. Would you mind going to the fridge and grabbing a few drinks for everyone? I have a feeling with how much salt in this food everyone is going to be thirsty.”

“Not at all.” Vision stood and went to fetch the drinks.

When he came back with his arms full of cans and bottles, the rest of the Avengers piled out of the elevator.

There was a lot chatter and joking as everyone entered the penthouse.

“Sweet,” Clint cheered and dove right into the bowl of potato chips. He snatched one up and ate it. “Food.”

“This looks like a party,” Rhodey said.

“It is one.” Tony gestured for everyone to take a seat. “A celebration of life party. We’re all alive and happy, and we won’t let anyone say otherwise.”

“Great segway into why all of us are here,” Steve said as he took a seat. He plucked a few grapes off one of the dishes.

Natasha joined him on the couch, taking two bottles of beer from Vision. She handed one of the beers to Clint, who settled in close to her.

Sam and Rhodey took beers from Vision too, and grabbed a few napkins as the picked out bits of food from the small banquet Tony had laid out for his friends.

Rhodey seated himself next to Tony, their legs touching.

The physical contact was reassuring, and Tony smiled at his best friend as he responded to Steve. “I’m just being factual, unless someone wants to come clean about being a zombie or a vampire.”

“Don’t joke,” Natasha said. “After the werewolves, anything is possible.”

“Sadly, she’s not kidding.” Clint picked up a cashew, threw it in the air, and caught it in his mouth.

Tony sighed wistfully. “Ah, the lives we lead. So interesting.”

“You can say that again,” Sam stated.

“I probably will, but for now, let’s get down to business.” Tony paused. “…to defeat the huns.”

Everyone groaned.

“I saw an opportunity and I took it,” Tony defended himself.

Bucky playfully smacked Tony’s leg in reprimand. “Stay on topic.”

“All right,” Tony acted put upon. “So let’s not beat about the bush here. All of you are here because I had a mental break down that resulted in my near death, and now all of you are concerned about my mental health. I’m fine though—well, as fine as I have always been. Point being, Bucky and I are doing great and we can finally spend a good chunk of the day apart. Also, I’m fine.”

“That is excellent to hear, Tony,” Vision said.

“Tony,” Steve said in his serious voice, which Tony rather hated at the moment. “I think we’re going to have to talk about it more than that.”

Tony huffed. “I really don’t have anything else to say though. I’m good. Really.”

“That’s great,” Sam said, calm and smiling. “But you have to understand that from our perspective we are still concerned because not all of us understand everything that happened. We've pieced together some things, such as the fact that you didn’t want to be bonded to someone who doesn’t want you, and after reflecting on the past we can see why you interpreted Steve and Bucky’s constant shoving you at the other as rejection. Be that as it may, it’s hard for us to know that in our heads, while we also know Steve and Bucky didn’t mean to come off that way at all. It leaves us wondering where the communication break down occurred and what all of us could have done to stop it from happening. Also, what we want to know now is, how can we make sure this doesn’t happen again? Because none of us want to see you suffer. We want you to be happy, and you deserve to be happy.”

Tony raised an eyebrow and looked around the room. “So did all of you nominate Sam as your spokesperson or something?”

“Sam has a lot more experience with these kind of things.” Steve rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Fine with me. Makes it so I don’t have to follow a bunch of conversations at once.” Tony burrowed closer to Bucky. He rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder. “The answer to your question is: nothing. I know all of you want to help, but this is me and my issue, and I’m dealing with it the best way I know how.”

“But you don’t have to do it alone,” Sam said.

“I’m not,” Tony said. “I have Bucky.”

Bucky glanced at Tony from the corner of his eye but didn’t speak up. He did squeeze Tony’s leg though.

“Speaking of which,” Tony started, “stop using Bucky as a liaison. He’s got his own shit going on too. I’m not the only one who went through our bond breaking and reestablishing. He’s also had his own doubts and fears about this bond as long as I’ve had—it’s kind one of the many reasons why there was so much arguing that lead to my break down. The only difference is he didn’t run off to go die alone or anything like that.”

“We were just worried about you,” Natasha said.

“Thanks, but if I want you to know something I’ll let you know. Just ask me. I understand why you might be hesitant to do so, but please, just ask.”

“You sure this is going to work though?” Clint pointed at Bucky and Tony. “After everything you two have been through do you really think things will turn out for the best?”

“No idea,” Tony said. He wrapped his arm tighter around Bucky’s shoulders. “But we have to try, and at least now Bucky and I are communicating, so there is hope for us yet.”

Sam nodded. “Okay. We can accept that, but only if you remember that we are here to help you, and if things don’t work out you can come to one of us. Remember, we want you to be happy. Both of you.”

“Well,” Tony reached down and scooped up a handful of blueberries. “Then you guys better start eating and sharing crazy stories, because right now what will make me happy is a nice little party.”

Sam grinned. “That we definitely can do.”

* * *

Tony subtly looked around the office of the SHIELD therapist’s office. He’d expected sleek walls and tables with no personal items to be seen. He’d been surprised when instead he’d walked into a room with a number of family photos, three hanging house plants, and a poster of a puppy and a kitten kissing. Even the couch, which he had thought would be something stiff and belonging to the 90s, was plush and new.

“Not the worst office I have seen. Could still use some color, and a computer that isn’t five-years old. SHIELD really needs to update its equipment.” Tony muttered from his spot on the couch.

Dr. Han, a middle-aged woman with a bob, nodded as she took her seat across from Tony. She looked down at her notepad and skimmed it. “I have some notes about why you’re here, and what Fury would like us to discuss.” Dr. Han crossed her legs and set down the notepad on her lap. “So I know why Fury wants you here, but I don’t know why you are here. What is your personal goal with therapy?”

Tony scoffed. “Honestly, I just wanted to see if you knew any techniques to help with emotional control. Besides the stuff everyone already knows.” Tony smirked. If this woman thought was getting anything more out of him, she’d be sorely mistaken.

Dr. Han nodded. “All right, we can go over some techniques. Is there anything else you would like to discuss today?”

“Nope.” Tony pulled out his cell phone and pretended to look over his schedule. “In fact, I’ll probably leave early today. Busy man, you know.”

“I’m aware.” Dr. Han picked up her notepad and put it on her desk. She uncrossed her legs and sat up a little straighter. “All right, now you said you already know a few techniques, so let’s go over them, and I’ll see what I can suggest.”

Tony’s smirk faltered. He had expected her to push him to talk about his suicide attempt more. “Is this some super secret spy technique to get me to share my deepest darkest secrets?”

Dr. Han shook her head. “No, Mr. Stark. You said you wanted help when it comes to controlling your emotions. Now, obviously we are not machines. We feel emotions everyday, and it a healthy part of our lives, but sometimes we do let them get the better of us. In such situations usually what we have to do is take a step back and ask ourselves why we are reacting and feeling a certain way, and that’s what a lot of techniques come down to. It’s taking that moment put the world on pause and reflect.”

“Because if I’m at a board meeting, I can just pause the meeting and take a moment to chill,” Tony said sarcastically, even though he could and had done just that many times in the past.

Dr. Han smiled. “A very interesting scenario, and you’re right. Sometimes we can’t put the moment on pause, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find ways to help us keep our composure until we have a moment to process. Now, these techniques that you know of, have your tried any recently and have they been successful?”

Tony stared at Dr. Han.

He was either dealing with a fruitcake or…. No he was dealing with a fruitcake, but an interesting one. “So you’re really _not_ going to push me to talk about how I almost killed myself?”

“Pushing such a discussion usually is more detrimental than helpful. If and when you are ready to talk about it, we can, but for now you came here for something else. So let’s talk about that.”

“Okay,” Tony said, not quite believing Dr. Han. “Let’s talk.”

* * *

“Can you imagine!” Tony threw his arm over his eyes dramatically. “A teenager with a nanny! The humiliation. My original wound!”

“Understandable. During our teenage years we often struggle for independence. A nanny would be an additional figure of dependence for you.”

“Ugh. It was even worse. I was a genius. I was already headed off for MIT. Everyone was having sex and drugs and I had a nanny! And not even a cute one from Sweden.”

“I see.”

“Although, it was cool it see my nanny karate chop one my teachers on accident.”

* * *

Tony waltzed into the gym where Bucky was in the middle of doing sit ups. He plopped himself down on the ground in front of Bucky and rested his hands and chin on Bucky’s knees. “Hello, beautiful.”

Bucky paused, seated upward. His tank top rode up to show off a small strip of skin. Sweat stained the top’s armpits. “You’re in a really good mood.”

Tony beamed. “You like it? Does it make you feel good inside?”

Bucky huffed and shoved Tony’s face away, a smile on his lips. “It does. Like I swallowed a kitten.”

Tony mock gasped. “You eat kittens? You are pure evil.”

Bucky threw his head back and laughed manically.

Tony snickered. He hugged Bucky’s legs to his chest. “I think I traumatized my therapist—hard to say since she’s almost as skilled as Natasha when it comes to keeping her cool. Either way, I think I scarred her for life. It was fun.”

“Tony Stark: the sadist.”

“Guilty.”

Bucky huffed and ruffled Tony’s hair. “So therapy wasn’t that bad?”

“I was only halfway through my nanny stories when I left, so I have to come back next week in order for her to understand the true depths of my pain.”

“Poor baby,” sarcasm dripped from Bucky’s voice.

“I also got a few calming exercises from her. The obvious take deep breathes kind of thing. She also highly recommended extended meditation together for the two of us. She said when bonds grow stronger it’s not uncommon for the guide to need to meditate more so they can adjust to the strength of the emotions coming through the bond. Having the sentinel participate and be supportive supposedly helps too.”

“You asked about ways to help me during your therapy session?” Surprise was evident in Bucky’s voice.

“Of course,” Tony said. “You’re greatest fear right now is losing control. As someone who has always struggled with control, not only do I empathize, but since I’m part of the reason why you’re struggling in the first place, I want to help.”

Bucky groaned and threw his head back. “You really know how to make a guy feel shitty.”

Tony sat up straighter. “What’d I do now? I’m innocent.”

“You did nothing wrong.” Bucky shook his head. “You’re just being a sweet guy, and I feel like more of a heel for making you feel like shit for so long. I feel like I’ve spent the last ten years kicking puppies or something.”

“You have a bit of an animal abuse theme going on today.” Tony reached across Bucky’s legs and poked Bucky’s cheek. “Also, don’t make me rehash what we’ve been saying about the past. Clean slate, remember?”

Bucky nodded. “Right. Right.”

Bucky sighed. He curled himself around his legs and hugged them, bringing Tony and him exceptionally close. “I’ve also been thinking about something lately.”

“I’m listening.”

“It seems like we can now go a long time without needing physical contact.”

Tony nodded.

“So maybe in the next few days I should stop sleeping over at the penthouse and instead stay in my room? First thing I’ll do every morning is come over to your room, and… Tony?” Bucky frowned. He lowered his legs so there was no barrier between him and Tony. “What’s wrong? You’re really upset.”

Tony internally cursed himself and Bucky’s empathy abilities. It felt like someone was squeezing his heart while also scooping out his insides. He was hollow and aching. He hadn’t expected such a strong reaction from himself, and he wasn’t mentally prepared to deal with it.

 _Breathe_. _Pause. Breathe. Analyze._

Tony tried to analyze where his feelings where coming from so he could break them down and calm himself, but all he could think of were words and phrases along the lines of “No. Don’t go. Please stay.”

“Tony.” Bucky took Tony’s hand in his and squeezed. “You’re scaring me here. If you don’t think I should sleep in my room right now, then we can put it off for a while longer. You just have to tell me that.”

Tony nodded. “Right. Right. I get that.”

He got that eventually Bucky would have to go back to living in his own room. He’d probably start spending a lot of time on his own, which was fine, because Tony wasn’t needy, except he kind of was sometimes, and…

Tony stared at Bucky, his eyes locking onto Bucky’s lips.

Bucky frowned in confusion. “Tony?”

Tony licked his lips. “I’m about to do something really stupid.”

“What are you—?”

Tony lunged at Bucky and kissed him hard.


	17. Chapter 17

Bucky pulled back from the kiss.

Tony was frozen in place, half sprawled on top of Bucky.

Bucky looked at Tony with wide-eyes filled with so much emotion that Tony couldn’t decipher what was going on inside Bucky’s head.

“You just kissed me,” Bucky stated.

Tony nodded.

“You just kissed me in a non-joking manner.”

Tony nodded again.

“Have you been hiding feelings from me?”

Tony paused, thinking over his answer. He didn’t think he had been, but he wasn’t sure how else to explain his reaction, even to himself. “I’m not sure. I just really wanted to kiss you just then.”

Bucky didn’t answer right away.

Achingly slow, Bucky nodded. “Okay.”

Tony licked his lips, remembering the brief pressure of Bucky’s against his. “I kind of want to do it again.”

Once again Bucky nodded, his own tongue coming out to brush along his lips. “Yeah…I think I want to kiss you again too. We probably shouldn’t though. We’re still trying to figure things out, and throwing in any sexual or romantic relationship would be a really stupid thing to do.”

“I agree wholeheartedly.”

Tony and Bucky stared at each other.

Tony wasn’t sure which of them moved first, but one second they were just holding eye contact then the next they were lunging at each other like they were dying of thirst and the other was an oasis. Hands went everywhere, sneaking under shirts, touching ribs, skimming chests, and teasing waistbands.

Bucky’s top had gone missing, and Tony was on his back with one leg wrapped around Bucky’s waist, encouraging Bucky to grind against him.

Tony gasped as Bucky sucked a hickey onto Tony’s neck. “We probably should stop.”

Bucky took a deep breath and pried himself away from Tony’s throat. “You’re right,” he managed between huffs.

Bucky’s hair was in disarray and his chest puffed and fell with each heavy breath.

Tony couldn’t resist.

More clothes were shed and Tony was on top of Bucky. Bucky was down to just his boxers and Tony’s shirt had been tossed across the room. The button on Tony’s pants had come undone.

Bucky broke their kiss. “We should take this slow.”

Tony nodded in agreement and kissed Bucky.

He moaned as Bucky tongue teased his lips and mouth.

Tony pulled back. “Maybe we should go take a cold shower? You know, calm down?”

Bucky nodded and pushed himself up so Tony was seated in his lap. In one quick move, he wrapped Tony up in his arms and stood.

Tony hugged his legs around Bucky’s waist and embraced Bucky’s shoulders. He peppered Bucky’s face, throat, and clavicle with kisses as Bucky carried him to the elevator.

They never made it to the shower. Instead they stopped at Tony’s bedroom.

* * *

Tony huffed as he tried to get more air in his lungs. His heart was still pounding and he was covered in sweat and hickies. He was flushed and his muscles were wonderfully limp with exhaustion. It took all of his strength just to lift his arm to cover his forehead.

Beside him, Bucky breathed just as shallow and fast as Tony. His scent was extra potent and mixed with Tony’s in a way that satisfied Tony like nothing else. It was heady and it was them; the perfect combination of earth and metal. Tony just wanted to curl up and bury his nose against Bucky’s collar and breath in the smell. The only thing stopping him was his lack of strength and energy.

Bucky sighed and rolled over in the bed so he was facing Tony. “I did not think we had that many rounds in us.”

“Me neither. I’m too old for multiple rounds of sex, at least anything more than two. What the hell did you do to my body to make it come so much?” Tony demanded to know.

Bucky chuckled and rested his head on Tony’s shoulder. “Just listened to my partner. You were quite vocal. Plus, you were pretty damn skillful yourself.”

“And you had excellent aim. Also, those fingers are not just fantastic at scalp massages.” Tony played with the ends of Bucky’s hair.

Tony took a deep breath. “So…as enjoyable as that was, on a scale of one to ten, what are the odds that we just made a terrible mistake? Ten being apocalyptic.”

“I want it to be a negative number, but I have no idea,” Bucky said.

Tony nodded in agreement. “What does this even make us?”

“No clue.”

Tony snorted. “You are not helpful at all.”

“Well then, what do you want us to be?”

Tony paused. “I don’t know.”

“Welcome to my world.”

Tony nodded in agreement. The sex had been phenomenal, and he would love to keep it going, but starting any type of relationship now just didn’t seem smart. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted a relationship. He cared for Bucky, and his feelings for Bucky only grew stronger each day, but the timing was all off.

“Can we just keep having sex ?” Tony asked.

“Yes,” Bucky answered without hesitation.

Bucky pushed himself up on his forearms and pecked Tony on the mouth. “We can even go again right now if you want.”

Tony groaned. “I really don’t think there is anything left in me.”

“Do you still want me to try though? We’ve been going strong so far.”

Tony thought about it. With a sigh and he threw his arms across the bed and closed his eyes. “Just take me. I don’t care if I come dry or not.”

Bucky smiled lasciviously. “As you wish.”

* * *

Tony was never so thankful that he kept a secret stash of crackers in his bedroom.

He’d lost track of how long Bucky and him had been in locked in his bedroom, but he knew it had been over a day and that he’d turned away a few phone calls from his friends when they tried to check in on him. He was also sore all over in the most spectacular way, and his body was covered in bruises were Bucky has latched onto his skin and marked him.

The markings pleased Tony, but not as much as his own trail of love nips along Bucky’s flesh. Tony could trace the constellations where he’d marked Bucky on his chest, legs, and back.

If Tony could, he’d stay locked away in his bedroom even longer with Bucky, but they needed sustenance, and not only had they eaten through all of Tony’s crackers, but the only thing left in the penthouse’s kitchen was some moldy celery.

Bucky’s stomach growled as he rolled his shirt down his chest and abs. He huffed in annoyance. “Never have I been so angry to feel hunger.”

“You and me both,” Tony huffed. He looked down at his unbuttoned shirt and groaned. He did not want to button his shirt, it was too much effort, and it meant that sexy times were really over.

Bucky strode over to Tony and began buttoning up Tony’s shirt. “We can make a couple of sandwiches and when we’re done eating we can hoard any food we find lying around in the communal kitchen.”

“Already had FRIDAY put in a delivery order for more food, so we don’t need to take from the communal kitchen. The delivery should be here in an hour.”

“So that’s what you were doing while I was in the shower.” Bucky finished with the last button and kissed Tony’s forehead. “I was wondering why you didn’t join me.”

“It pained me not to,” Tony said with a fist over his heart.

Bucky smiled and nodded at the elevator. “C’mon. Besides, getting some food, we probably need to let our teammates see that we are alive and well.”

“Do we have to?”

“No, but it would be the nice thing to do.”

“Who said I was nice?”

Bucky lightly smacked Tony’s butt in reprimand.

Tony grinned suggestively at Bucky. “Don’t like the self-deprecation, huh? Maybe I’ll keep at it, if it means you keep slapping me like that.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“No, I just love sex.”

Tony and Bucky kept up their banter as they took the elevator down to the communal floor.

Tony laughed at something Bucky had said as the elevator opened and the two of them stepped out.

“Holy shit! Natasha was right!” Clint exclaimed from his perch on the kitchen counter—a bag of potato chips in his hands. “You two really did have a sex marathon. I can smell it from here and I don’t even have enhanced senses.”

Tony and Bucky both stopped mid-step. Neither one had expected such a greeting right away from any of their teammates.

Steve almost knocked over the pot of boiling water he had on the stove. He sputtered in surprise. “You two couldn’t possibly have been having sex for the last three days.”

“It’s been closer to four,” FRIDAY piped in.

Tony shushed his AI, then look appraisingly at Bucky. He whistled in admiration. “Wow. I haven’t had a sex marathon last that long since college. Thank you for the assistance.”

“I’m more impressed by the fact that the tower’s alarm never went off during that time,” Bucky said.

Clint pursed his lips in thought. “You know, that is actually impressive.”

Steve’s head swiveled between Tony and Bucky.

“Got something to say, Steve?” Tony asked, his stomach knotting in anticipation of Steve’s speech about mental health and the proper time to start a relationship.

Bucky grabbed Tony’s hand and squeezed it.

Steve shook his head and looked away. “Are you two dating or is this something casual?”

“Casual,” Bucky answered. He quickly cursed. “I just remembered, I was supposed to see my therapist yesterday.”

“Tell him you were in physical therapy.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at Bucky.

Bucky snickered. “Considering I got a double whammy of good emotions, you might have a legitimate argument there.”

Clint nodded. “Oh yeah. Bonded sex is the best sex. Does wonders when you are emotionally and mentally exhausted.”

Steve looked at Clint oddly. “I thought you and Nat…”

Clint scoffed. “No. We never did. I have bonded with other sentinels before, and the sex is amazing. There’s a reason why for the longest time a guide and sentinel bond was the equivalent of getting married, and that is part of it.”

Tony nodded. He may not get the double emotional impact, but being able to focus solely on Bucky for hours—being able to explore and touch every inch of skin, listen to every moan he elicited and watch as Bucky’s body shuddered and arched just by the touch of Tony lips or hands was euphoric and calming to Tony in a way nothing else had been. Not even hours of meditation had ever helped him achieve such peace and bliss.

Just the thought had Tony craving more.

Bucky’s hand clenched Tony’s and tugged Tony close to him.

Tony almost purred in delight as his back rubbed against Bucky’s front.

Bucky wrapped Tony up in a possessive embrace and kissed his temple.

Steve scrunched his nose and covered it. “Guys, I can smell your pheromones. Please, stop.”

“Aw, Stevie,” Bucky teased, “You know you’ve had worse.”

“Actually, I haven’t.” Steve pinched his nose and looked away. “Did you two even shower?”

“Of course we did,” Tony responded haughtily. “Do you think we’re wild animals?”

“You smell like it.”

“I’m so glad I don’t have enhanced senses.” Clint popped a chip in his mouth and crunched it.

“So other than the smell you have no other comments?” Tony asked Steve.

Steve huffed. “Whatever makes you two happy. I’m not going to stand in your way.”

“Aw,” Bucky cooed. “Steve’s maturing.”

“Steve is dying from your stench,” Steve countered.

“We better make sandwiches and go back to my room then.” Tony reluctantly pulled himself out from Bucky’s embrace. “I hate to be responsible for the death of an American icon.”

“Very funny,” Steve said sarcastically.

* * *

“Oh god. I’m out of chapstick, condoms, and lube, and I _might_ only use chaptsick once a month. Feels more like every other month.” Tony was sprawled across his bed. Naked, sweaty, exhausted, and probably ten pounds lighter than he was a week ago.

Bucky groaned, smothering his face in the pillow next to Tony. “I don’t think I’ve seen my bedroom in a week. Every time I’ve had to go out, I just borrow one of your pants. By the way, I ripped the thighs of one of your jeans.”

Tony fought to lift his head so he could look at Bucky. “Why didn’t you use my sweats?”

“They were too faraway at the time.”

Tony nodded. “Good point.”

For a moment they just laid in bed.

“I think my therapy session is tomorrow,” Tony said.

Bucky grunted. “Same here.”

“Good. We’re responsible for getting each other out of the tower.”

“What’s our record for longest time spent outside of the tower?” Bucky asked.

“I think two hours,” Tony said.

Bucky groaned and hugged his pillow. “We’ve become sex addicts.”

“But it’s just so _good_.” Tony threw his head back and moaned.

Bucky lifted his head from the pillow and smiled at Tony. “I know.”

* * *

“You seem cheerful today, Mr. Stark,” Dr. Han said as she held the door to her office open for Tony and gestured for him to take a seat.

“Of course.” Tony settled on the couch, crossing one leg over the other as he beamed. “I have hundreds of nanny stories and I can’t wait to share all of them with you.”

Dr. Han nodded as she took a seat of her own. “Excellent. Before you continue though, may I inquire as to how things are going with the techniques I gave you?”

“Honestly, I have no idea if they work. I’ve been too busy having sex to test them out. Good sex equals happy me, and happy me equals very happy guide. Why don’t more people suggest sex to help with positivity? I already feel a million times better.”

“That’s good to know, Mr. Stark. When you have a moment though, do try at least one of the techniques I talked about.”

“Sure. Whatever. Now about my nanny…”

* * *

Bucky and Tony stopped as they entered the communal floor only to be met by all of their friends and teammates occupying various pieces of furniture. A large, paper banner had been hung across the ceiling with the word “Intervention” painted in bold strokes.

“We’re delighted that you two are getting along and are happy,” Sam started.

“But you two need to chill out with the sex,” Rhodey cut in. “We know what you did on the kitchen table, we know about the elevator, and we know some kinky shit went down in the gym and workshop. Either learn to keep it in your pants for more than few hours or go to a hotel.”

* * *

Bucky and Tony went to a hotel.

* * *

“Nooooope,” Tony spun around his lab in his rolling swivel chair.

Fury’s angry face stared back at Tony through Tony’s phone display.

“This is no joke, Stark. We need the moon gemstone back here at SHIELD where it can be kept safe.”

Tony pretended to mull it over. “Nope, sorry. I’m just not feelin’ it. After the HYDRA fiasco with SHIELD, I can’t really believe you when you say the gem will be locked away in the safest place on Earth. At this point it is safer with me.”

“Stark—” Fury began, but Tony cut him off.

“You know, I find it very suspicious that you’re suddenly demanding the gem now. It’s been almost a month since the Avengers’ little impromptu visit to Werewolf Island and suddenly you want the gemstone back.”

“I’ve wanted the gemstone ever since I learned you stole it.”

“’Stole’ is such an ugly word. Relocated to a more secure site sounds so much better.” Tony leaned back in his chair and raised the phone up so he could look at the screen. “Be honest with me, Fury, if you can manage to avoid double talk, why the sudden urgency? You may have wanted the gem before, but as long as I kept you in the loop about any information I found on it, you seemed content to let me keep it.”

“My scientists have been going over the readings and trying to replicate them.”

“You’ve been trying to replicate something that turns people into werewolves?” Tony sat up straighter. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I’m the guy who created a powerful and deadly robot to protect the earth, and even I know what you’re doing is too risky and stupid. Can you even fathom what could happen if HYDRA, AIM, or anyone who just wants to be a jackass ever found your research?”

“Calm down, Stark. I’m very aware of what a threat the gem could be. That’s why I was trying to learn more about it. Figure out where it could have possibly come from and how it ended up in HYDRA’s hands. Something like that doesn’t just happen. There’s more going on here, and your comparison to the Infinity Gems is more apt than we thought.”

Tony frowned. He recalled the readings and just how similar they had been to what he’d picked up from the Tesseract and Mind Gem. Similar, but still different enough for Tony to discard the possibility of the moon gemstone being an undiscovered Infinity Gem. Also, the moon gemstone lacked the same amount of power as the Infinity Gems according to Tony’s readings.

“Here, I’m sending you a file. After inputting the information you, HYDRA, and our own team of scientists came up with and then trying to replicate those numbers to recreate something like stone we noticed something.”

“FRIDAY open Fury’s file for me,” Tony said to his AI.

Tony almost fell out of his chair when not only did pages of information appear in holographic form before him, but in the center of the room was a blue globe of data that processed information so fast and seamlessly it was like neurons fired off in the brain.

Next to the blue globe was a silver one that much like the blue appeared to function like a human brain, but Tony was too focused on the other orb of information to pay too much attention to the silver one.

“Ultron.” Tony heart lurched at the name. “What the hell this?”

“Relax, Stark. It’s not Ultron’s actual system. No one wants to risk him coming back. That’s just a fancy light show to give you a visual representation of what we are dealing with. Compare it to the silver hologram next to it.”

Tony’s heart still pounded in his chest. He clenched his jaw and fists. He wanted nothing more than to erase the image of Ultron from his view.

His eyes skimmed over the silver ball of data.

He frowned and stood. Tony circled the data. “It’s almost exactly the same.”

“It’s even closer to a human brain, Stark.”

“You know, I really don’t appreciate people trying outdo my AI programs. It makes them insecure. Isn’t that right, FRIDAY?”

“I’m critiquing every single one of my flaws and wondering why you created me in such a manner at this very moment, boss.”

“See?” Tony joked. “She has anxiety and low self-esteem.”

“Stark, wherever this gemstone came from and whatever it’s original purpose may have been, it has a certain level of sentience.”

“Yet it never says, ‘Hello. How are you doing?’”

“This isn’t a joke,” Anger leaked into Fury’s voice. “Once Thor is back from Asgard I’m going to have him take that gem away, but until then we have lock it away. HYDRA was using the gem to create werewolves, but I have a feeling that in the wrong hands it could be much worse than that.”

“Ultron with werewolves?” Tony asked mildly, although inside he was panicking and his brain was running at top speed. “We did find a cure, so it can’t be that bad.”

“I rather not take the risk.”

“Agreed. The only problem is you still haven’t given me a good reason to give the gem to you. If anything, you’ve done the opposite.”

“Stark—”

Tony hung up on Fury.

He hunched over in his chair to think.

The problem was, he did a lot more lamenting and panicking than thinking.

Tony cursed and tossed his phone on the table. He paced around the room.

“Anything I can do to help, boss?” FRIDAY asked.

Tony shook his head.

Thor had no estimated arrival time. The guy could be gone for another month or two. Worse, he could be gone a year; although, Jane would give Thor hell for it.

Tony bit the inside of his cheek.

He’d hoped to continue to study the moon gemstone a little more. Hell, if it weren’t for everything that had been going on the last few weeks, he probably would have learned that the gem was sentient long ago.

Tony shook his head and went over to the storage unit where he’d locked away the gem for the time being.

He pulled out the metal box containing the gem and opened it.

The ruby like gem glowed brightly.

Tony slammed the metal box shut and cursed.

A second later he opened it a crack. “Okay, little buddy, just how sentient are you? Stop glowing if you can hear me.”

Tony shoved down his inner voice that pointed out that the gem didn’t have ears.

Red light continued to peek out from the box.

“All right, so either you are a terrible listener, or I don’t have to worry about you critiquing my fabulous singing skills from my last couple karaoke sessions.” Tony closed the box and set it on his workbench.

Tony went to one of his drawers and pulled out a pair of gloves and goggles. “FRIDAY getting everything fired and ready. We’re going to run some tests on our own and then we are going to figure out what we’re going to do about this bad boy.”

“Will do, boss. Bucky is calling by the way. Should I patch him through or would you prefer for me to leave him a message?”

“He’s probably trying to figure out what freaked me out,” Tony mumbled as he pulled on the gloves. “Patch him through. Give him a visual feed if you can.”

“Would you like a visual feed as well, boss?”

“Of course.”

Bucky’s face popped up in a hologram in front of Tony. Behind Bucky was the wrestling ring, where Natasha and Sam appeared to be lounging after a long workout.

Bucky frowned, sweat dripping down his brow. “What happened? You were really panicky there for a moment.”

“Ah, you know Fury. The man does not hold his punches and he showed me some information pertaining to Ultron.”

Bucky grimaced. “Do you want me to punch him for you?”

Tony laughed. “It would probably be easier for me to punch him myself. I get called into SHIELD more often than you, and I usually work with him. I’d have a much easier time punching him, whereas, you’d have to punch your way through all of SHIELD before you could get to him.”

“I could wait until we hold a meeting at SHIELD and punch him then,” Bucky said.

“I would love to see you try, but I think this is the part where I am supposed to be a mature adult and tell you that he isn’t worth it.”

The corner of Bucky’s mouth quirked up in a smile. “You’d still love to see me do it though.”

“I would probably drop to my knees and give you a blow job if you did.”

“We can hear you,” Sam hollered in the background.

“Good. I want you to.” Tony smiled wickedly. “By the way,” he directed at Bucky, “so sexy fun times are probably going to be delayed later than usual. I need to run some tests and they are going to take a few hours.”

“You have a schedule now?” Natasha asked.

“We needed one or else we’d never get anything done,” Bucky said over his shoulder at her.

Bucky returned his attention to Tony. “Okay. As long as you’re doing well. Are you sure you don’t want me to go down to your lab and check on you?”

“If by ‘check on you’ you mean have sex, I would absolutely love to, Bucky-babe, but this is important.”

Bucky huffed in amusement at Tony’s responses. “I actually meant exactly what I said.”

“Sure you did.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Tony. FRIDAY, hang up the call.”

FRIDAY cut off the audio and visual feed from Bucky.

Tony nodded to himself. “Okay. Now that that is out of the way. Let’s get to work, FRIDAY.”

* * *

Tony was a genius, but even he could admit when something was outside of his expertise, and after several hours of poking and prodding the moon gemstone, Tony knew he needed assistance.

Vision examined the red jewel nestled in its metal box. “It is and it is not sentient.”

Tony groaned and rubbed his hand down his face. “You’re not supposed to speak riddles.”

Vision smiled. “Forgive me, but that is the simplest explanation.”

“And what is the not simple explanation?”

“The moon gemstone is an extension of a greater being.” Vision roved his hand over the gem without actually touching it. “A dying being who wished to pass on their powers to someone worthy. This stone is much more similar to that of Mjolnir in that capacity.”

Tony glared at the gem. “You mean it’s like the hammer that thinks an elevator is more worthy than Steve or me?”

Vision’s eyes twinkled. “I assure you, Mjolnir does not think of you or Steve that way, but yes, Mjolnir has no discrimination against elevators.”

“I still say the elevator is not worthy.” Tony walked over to the table and leaned over the gem. “So what? This thing is just waiting for someone with the right attributes and then what? It turns them into a werewolf forever? Gives them the power to create werewolves?”

“It is hard for me to say.” Vision frowned. “The gem has been through much. It’s memory faded. All it knows is its mission.”

“So a lyncanthropy causing gem with similarities to the Infinity Gems and the same amount of sentience as Thor’s hammer.” Tony shook his head. “I don’t like it, especially when we’ve already seen what one terrorist group was able to do with it small scale. Large scale…” Tony shook his head. “I don’t even want to think about it. Especially since HYDRA found a way to control anyone they infected with the gems powers. Imagine a world of werewolves being controlled by HYDRA.”

Tony paused for a moment as he really let his words sink in. “You know, it’d actually be a little funny if it weren’t such a real possibility.”

Vision nodded. “It would be best to relinquish the gem to Thor. The gem comes from another dimension from what I can tell. Thor might know of a way to return it to its proper place.”

“I’m all for that, but what do we do in the meantime? I can keep this thing locked up, but these kind of things have a tendency of wandering off no matter how hard we try to seal them away.”

“It is a dilemma,” Vision admitted.

Tony bit his bottom lip.

One answer blared loudly in his mind, but he had his doubts.

“It’s not just that these things tend to disappear,” Tony said. “Other stronger and more powerful things tend to follow them. The Tesseract and Loki for example.”

Vision nodded solemnly. “We should have a discussion with the others. We need to come to an agreement on how we should proceed with the gem.”

Tony nodded, but once again his mind was moving at light speed. Something needed to be done and the sooner the better.

“Is there anything else you’d like to ask me for now?” Vision inquired.

Tony shook his head and waved Vision out. “I just need a moment to think.”

“I will leave you to ponder then.” Vision headed for the exit.

Tony waited for Vision to leave the lab before he snatched up the gem and metal box and headed toward where he kept his laser.

“Everyone batten down the hatches. I’m about to make this pieces of jewelry explode.”

* * *

Okay, so the gem didn’t explode on the first try or the second. It also didn’t corrode when Tony poured one acidic substance right after another onto to the gem, but Tony refused to give up.

Tony ducked behind his protective screen after reconfiguring the settings of his laser.

By his calculations the gem should be nothing more than a pile of dust by the time he was done with it.

“Boss, I must advise against this.”

“Just shoot the damn thing, FRIDAY. We’ll have DUM-E clean up the mess after.”

“Whatever you say.” The laser charged up.

Tony sucked in his breath in anticipation.

The laser struck.

An angry red, glow burst from the gem.

An explosion rang out in the lab and Tony was thrown into the wall. The wind was knocked out of him as the protective screen he’d set up crashed into him and pinned him to the wall.

For a moment everything was white. He couldn’t hear or see a thing.

After a while he heard the faint ringing of an alarm and FRIDAY shouting something about contamination.

Tony’s vision started to come back.

That’s when he felt the first bone crack and his muscles shift.

Tony screamed in agony.


	18. Chapter 18

The Asset was hunched on the ground and someone was touching his back and asking him questions.

The Asset’s body ached as did it during the early half of his sparring sessions, yet there was only one person and they were unarmed based on the quick glance the Asset stole.

The Asset breathed deep, pushing the pain down, but paused.

The pain wasn’t his nor was the quaking rage that went along with it.

“Bucky,” the man touching the Asset said.

The Asset struck out against the man.

The man jumped back, and the Asset used the opportunity to put distance between them.

The Asset froze.

The man gasped.

The Asset recognized the man. He had fought the man before and he had glimpses of fighting alongside the man now. The Captain.

The Captain raised his hands in a placating manner. “Bucky, please, it’s me.”

The Asset glanced around. They were outside in a park.

The Captain approached the Asset.

The Asset reached for the knife strapped to his thigh.

The pain in the back of his mind grew stronger along with the presence of someone else. The presence was like a ghost standing next to him and whispering in his ear. He couldn’t quite describe it, but he knew innately what it was: his partner.

His grip tightened.

He had a partner.

The image of small yet well built man popped into his head. The Asset’s partner.

There was no command or reasoning for it, but the Asset felt compelled to seek out this partner of his.

Something inside him protested just the notion of abandoning or ignoring his partner.

The Captain reached for the Asset’s knife.

The Asset thrust the knife at the Captain’s face. He no longer knew if the Captain was ally or enemy. He would not kill, but he would not be disarmed either.

The Captain blocked, and the Asset moved in for a knee to the ribs.

The Captain dodged and once again put distance between them.

The Asset’s entire body throbbed with his partner’s pain. His blood boiled with the need to destroy and attack.

The Asset scanned the Captain for any signs that the man would launch at him again.

The Captain continued to plea for the Asset to listen.

The Asset sprinted off in the direction he knew his partner would be.

The Captain shouted behind him and soon took off after the Asset.

The Asset tried to lose the Captain by running though traffic, diving between alleys, and taking the occasional rooftop, but the Captain kept on his tail. The Asset gritted his teeth, not appreciating the Captain’s pursuit. It was only the strengthening need to reach his partner that kept him going onward and not stop to remove the Captain from him.

He ran into the tower where his partner was and sucked in a sharp breath as he sensed a tidal wave of pain from his partner.

The Asset launched himself in the closest elevator, punching the button to shut the doors behind him so the captain could not follow.

“Sergeant Barnes, I assume you are concerned about Tony’s welfare, but I must advise—”

“Take me to my partner,” the Asset demanded of the feminine voice that came from the intercom.

There was a pause followed by a “Yes, sir.”

The elevator rose.

The Asset braced himself for a fight and held his knife at the ready. He did not know what would be on the other side of the elevator when its doors opened, but he would fight it if it was what was causing his partner pain.

Crashes and howls grew louder as the elevator rose.

The lift stopped and something crashed into the doors.

The doors opened to a room with overturned tables, lab equipment, and furniture. The Hawk man lay on the floor, scrambling for his arrows as his partner, the Widow, attempted to lift him to his feet.

The Falcon, the Vision, and the Machine were poised to fight but had paused.

The red witch with her powers forced a wolf-human hybrid creature down to its knees.

The Asset had fought one of these large wolf-like creatures before. He had fought two, although the first seemed a bit of a dream. The second one though, he had fought with his partner.

His injured partner who was nowhere to be seen, yet was in this very room; he could feel it.

The wolf whimpered and snapped its jaws at the witch. It tried to lash out, but her power kept it at bay.

The wolf whimpered and the Asset _knew_.

The Asset leaped at the witch and pressed his knife to her throat, slicing into the flesh, but keeping the pressure light enough to avoid slitting her.

The Witch gasped.

The wolf howled and hunched down lower to the ground as the Witch increased her power.

“Release him,” the Asset hissed into her ear.

“James, I understand that—“ The Vision tried to reason, but stopped when the Asset added pressure to the Witch’s throat.

From the corner of his eye, the Asset spotted the Hawk drawing his bow. The Asset whirled, putting Wanda between himself and the arrow.

The wolf growled and shoved itself onto shaky limbs, fighting the Witch’s power.

The Witch’s fingers twitched, hesitating to use her powers further on the wolf but desiring to do so nonetheless.

“Let Tony go, Wanda,” the Widow commanded the witch. The Widow’s gaze flicked between the wolf and the Asset.

The Witch tensed.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” The Machine said.

“Not saying it is, but I have a hunch,” the Widow said.

“Not really a fan of life-risking hunches,” the Falcon responded.

The elevator was moving behind the Asset, and he knew in a moment the Captain would join them.

He’d have to kill the witch and the rest then.

Just as the Asset determined his next course of action though, the Witch released the wolf from her enchantment.

With a roar the wolf lunged toward the Asset and the Witch.

The Asset threw the Witch to the ground and raised his metal arm to block the wolf’s maw.

The wolf snarled as it clenched its fangs around the metal arm and knocked the Asset to the ground. Its thick arms pinned the Asset on either side, while its claws burrowed into the ground.

The Asset snarled back and punched the wolf.

The wolf yelped, releasing the Asset.

The wolf and the Asset’s gazes met in a heated glare.

The bond between them burned, like two pieces of metal being welded together.

This wolf was his partner.

The Asset threw his arm around the wolf’s neck and yanked its head down, bringing his partner’s nose to his neck. His partner needed his scent, needing calming.

The rage in his partner quelled and the wolf snuffled along the Asset’s neck.

Not wishing to be in a vulnerable position, the Asset pushed the wolf’s head away and stood. Once The Asset was on his feet though, the large beast was back to sniffing along the Asset’s neck and shoulder.

The Asset placed his hand on the back of the Wolf’s neck, holding his partner in place as he eyed the room’s occupants to see if any would attack.

The Widow appeared to be the only person in the room unsurprised; although, the Asset could not be sure about the Machine—the Machine’s mask hid what the man inside was thinking.

The elevator opened and the Captain emerged.

The Asset tensed. The Captain led the others. If the Captain gave the command then the others would attack.

His partner growled and bared his teeth at the Captain.

The Captain went wide-eyed. “What on earth happened here?”

“It’s a long story,” the Machine answered. “But according to FRIDAY, Tony cracked the moon gemstone, and in doing so caused himself to be contaminated, so now he’s a werewolf.”

The Captain’s jaw clenched. “Please tell me we still have Tony’s cure lying around here somewhere.”

* * *

“Tony and the Soldier are secured,” Sam said as he entered the lab.

Steve let out a sigh of relief as he flipped one of the tables right side up. He bent down to pick up some of the tools off the ground, mindful of the broken shards of glass nearby. “Good. Do me a favor, and check on Clint and Natasha every few hours. I know they volunteered to monitor those two, but it’d be a good idea to let them take longer and more frequent breaks.”

Sam nodded and began picking things up off the floor, helping in the clean up process.

“Ow!” Rhodey hollered from somewhere deeper in the lab. “You almost rolled over my foot, DUM-E. Ack! And careful with the broom!”

Chirps answered Rhodey’s shout.

Steve shook his head. He’d been hearing similar conversations every five minutes or so. DUM-E was just so excited to have so many people in the lab, even if the place had been trashed.

“I believe I have found something of interest,” Vision hollered.

Steve’s attention perked up. He put down the items he’d had gathered and headed toward Vision.

When he got to the man, Wanda was already there. Her expression was crinkled with concern as she stared at the red gem in Vision’s palm.

Vision raised his hand so Steve could get a better look at the gem. “It appears FRIDAY’s assessment was correct.”

Steve’s brow knitted as he leaned forward to examine the gem closely. There was indeed a crack down the center of the gem as FIRDAY had said. “And that led to this explosion?” Steve’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead in surprise.

“The gem contained a great power within it,” Vision said.

“And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where that power went once it was released,” Wanda said.

“Released?” Steve plucked the gem out of Vision’s hand. It felt and looked like an ordinary stone.

“The gem contained a massive amount of power. I would imagine the crack in the gem worked much the same as a crack in a dam would. It’s amazing the gem is still intact at all,” Vision commented.

“But you’re saying that the power didn’t just disappear? That it went into Tony?”

“Power doesn’t vanish,” Wanda stated. “It had go somewhere, and Tony is a werewolf. There is only one logical conclusion.”

Worry prickled Steve’s heart. Steve had only been exposed to a small dose of the gem’s power whereas Tony had been hit with all of it. That couldn’t bode well for Tony.

* * *

“I’m half tempted not to give this to you after Tony’s antics,” Fury said as he handed Steve a vial of the cure Tony had created along with a syringe. Due to the wrecked state of Tony’s lab, it had been impossible to find any pre-made cure left over. Luckily, FRIDAY still had the formula saved and Fury was able to recreate it at SHIELD’s labs.

“All of you could have been turned into werewolves,” Fury continued.

Steve nodded as he took the vial. “I’ll have a talk with Tony about this later. For now the important thing is to cure him.”

“I agree.”

Fury and Steve entered the lift.

“I assume you have Tony and the Soldier in lock down,” Fury stated.

Steve internally grimaced but kept his outer expression neutral. “Not exactly.”

The elevator opened to Tony’s penthouse.

For a brief second the Asset was seated on the couch with a handgun in his lap while he idly scratched at Tony’s ear and watched the news. Tony’s eyes were closed and he turned his head into the touch.

A second later, the Asset glared at Steve and Fury and had his gun aimed at them.

Tony stood on the couch and growled deep. He snapped his teeth at Steve and Fury in warning.

“Your lack of security is a joke,” Fury said to Steve, never prying his attention away from the Asset and Tony.

The Asset’s brow knitted. He appeared to be considering shooting Fury.

Steve held his hands up, aware that he was giving the Asset and Tony full view of the vial and syringe he had. “We’re not here to harm either of you. We just want to give Tony a cure for his werewolfism.”

Tony growled and took a threatening step toward Steve.

The Asset directed his gun at Steve.

“Perhaps we should wait until morning?” Fury suggested. “Tony might be more reasonable during the day, and if he’s not,” Fury glanced at the vial, “that may not cure him anyway.”

Fury was right. As much as Steve and the others wanted Tony back to normal ASAP, injecting him with the cure would be challenging enough with him as a werewolf. The challenge would only double if the Asset was guarding Tony.

Steve slowly lowered his arms and backed into the elevator.

Fury copied him.

Once the two were inside the lift, the doors slid shut.

“Where to for now, Captain?” FRIDAY asked.

Steve breathed heavy and shook his head. “Communal floor.”

“I trust that you have good reason for allowing the Winter Soldier and a werewolf to roam free.”

Steve mentally groaned at Fury’s words. He understood Fury’s concern. He’d have the same reaction if the roles were reversed, but at the moment, Steve’s patience was already stretched so thin. “Now that they’re together neither seems keen to leave the building. They haven’t attacked anyone since their initial confrontation. Unless something changes, the team and I are going to leave them alone. Engaging them will only make things worse, as you just saw.”

The elevator stopped and Fury joined Steve on the communal floor. “Do you have someone other than Tony’s AI monitoring them?”

Steve nodded. “Natasha and Clint are watching them too. They’ll let the rest of us know if the Soldier and Tony make any dangerous moves.”

Fury frowned. “I’m not a fan of this.”

“I can understand why, but you saw how they reacted when they saw us. Right now it’s them against the world, and they are not going to let anyone near them.”

“That’s fine with me. I rather they isolate themselves, but the moment they decide to become social—”

“That’s when the team and I will step in,” Steve stated.

* * *

Tony woke to sore muscles and a very familiar chest under his head. His skull pounded and his mind was filled with residual images of his dream.

Tony shifted and burrowed himself closer to Bucky, disappointed that he was currently the only one of them naked.

Bucky ran his hand through Tony’s hair, letting his hand rest on the nape of Tony’s neck.

Tony grumbled happily and nestled against Bucky.

Tony forehead knitted together. Something was off about Bucky. He smelled the same and his breathing and heartbeat were regular.

Tony kneaded Bucky’s side.

Bucky tensed.

The small action sent off alarms in Tony’s head as realization dawned on Tony. It was minute, but Bucky was just slightly stiff under Tony, something Tony would not have picked up if he hadn’t spent the last several weeks getting to know Bucky’s body intimately.

Tony opened his eyes and lifted his head.

He inhaled sharply as the Soldier peered back at him.

Tony waited for the moment that the Soldier would blink and Tony would see Bucky, but the longer Tony held the Soldier’s gaze the more he realized that Bucky’s mind wasn’t hovering just below the surface.

The hand on Tony’s neck slid down Tony’s spine to the cradle of his back. The Soldier pushed against Tony’s back, forcing Tony to stay in place. He tucked Tony’s head under his chin and nuzzled the top of Tony’s head ever so slightly.

Tony’s eyes flickered down to the gun resting in the Soldier’s lap.

Tony’s heartbeat kicked up a notch, but before he could say or do anything, the Soldier picked up the gun and holstered it to his hip.

He used to his knuckles to rub soothing circles into Tony’s back.

“This…” Tony’s voice came out raspy. He winced at the sting. “This is nice.”

The Soldier made a non-committal sound.

“No offense. You’re really amazing, and I’ve always had a weakness for bad boys, but is there anyway I could get Bucky back?” Tony asked the Soldier. There was a pang in his chest. “I really miss him, and he’s going to freak out if he’s knocked out any longer. Actually he’s already going to freak out, but he’ll freak out less.”

The Soldier removed his chin from Tony’s head and stared down at Tony.

Tony smiled encouragingly.

The Soldier kissed Tony’s temple.

Tony wrinkled his nose. “That’s not what I asked for.”

“Tony,” FRIDAY said, her volume softer than usual. “Are you all right?”

Tony grumbled as the Soldier once again guided Tony into resting against him.

“Physically, I’m sore and tender and I want a bucket of pain killers, but otherwise I seem fine. Mentally, I think I may be having another breakdown, because there is no way I’m currently naked and curled up against the Soldier, who has just given me a kiss.”

There was a pause followed by, “I have relayed your information to Steve. He would like to know if you are aware of what happened after you destroyed the moon gemstone?”

Tony frowned. He glanced at the Soldier. “Obviously nothing good.”

“Boss, you are currently infected with lycanthrophy.”

Well shit. That had been a possibility when Tony had decided to destroy the gem, but he hadn’t thought such a thing would actually happen. The odds were low. Okay, maybe not _that_ low, but low enough that it was worth the risk to get rid of the damn thing. Especially when Tony considered that he had the cure to the disease. “FRIDAY, get a vial of Wolf-be-Gone ready.”

“Steve already has a vial. However, due to your companion, he is hesitant to bring it to you.”

Tony nodded. Okay. So Steve couldn’t come to him as long as the Soldier was around, so then Tony would just have to go to Steve.

Slowly and carefully, Tony lifted the arm the Soldier had on his back and slid off the Soldier.

The Soldier watched him, face pinched with confusion and distrust as Tony backed away from him.

The Soldier stood and grabbed Tony’s wrist.

He glared at Tony.

“I’m getting clothes?” Tony tried to say.

Somehow the Soldier glared harder.

“Okay, that was a lie. Listen, I need to get something from my friend Steve, but I can’t risk you murdering anybody so I need you to stay here.”

“I won’t kill,” the Soldier stated.

Tony’s heart jumped in surprise. “You spoke.”

The Soldier cocked his head. His eyes shimmered with calculation. “Should I stop?”

Tony bit the inside of his cheek to keep from cursing.

The Soldier was probably used to being told not to speak. Tony needed to correct his actions before he had an all but mute Soldier on his hands. “No, no. Speak. Please. I love your voice. It’s beautiful and deep, and I could listen to it all day. So please keep—”

Tony shut up when the Soldier cupped his cheek. “You’re noisy.”

Tony swallowed hard. “I need to make up for your lack of talking. Now, as I was saying, I need to talk to my friend Steve, but I can’t have you trying to kill him or anyone else. So if you can promise me that, then you can come along.”

“I already did.”

“Right…” Every logical part of Tony’s brain was telling him he should not let the Soldier follow him. “Let’s go then.”

Tony grimaced after taking three steps.

The Soldier was at his side a moment later, one hand on Tony’s hip and the other resting on Tony’s abdomen. “You’re hurt.”

“More like I feel like my muscles were put through a meat grinder, but nothing that could cause me to bleed out and die.”

The Soldier looked over Tony. Without warning, he bent down and scooped Tony in his arms like a princess.

Tony yelped and grabbed onto the Soldier. “Okay, I can admit I am a sucker for the princess carry, but I feel like I need to point out that you do not need to play the role of prince charming and carry me. It’s just a little muscle pain.”

The Soldier ignored him and headed toward the elevator.

“You know, it’s very rude to pick up people without their permission,” Tony said as he listened to the elevator rise for them.

“Should I put you down?”

Tony knew he should say “Yes” but now that he was being asked directly…

Tony pouted and looked away.

The Soldier grunted his acceptance of Tony’s answer and carried Tony into the elevator when it arrived.

The elevator took them to the communal floor where Steve and Rhodey waited.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Rhodey said. “Really, Tony? You got him to princess carry you? Also, clothes.”

Tony flushed, but feigned indignation. “I’ll have you know, he picked me up all on his own. I didn’t ask, and some things are more important than clothes. Also, this is your fault, Rhodey. If you would just princess carry me more, I wouldn’t have such a weakness for it when others do it. Honestly, I’d probably team up with Dr. Doom or Loki as long as they promised to carry me everywhere.”

“This really isn’t the time for joking,” Steve said.

“Who said I was joking?” Tony asked.

Steve huffed, but refrained from commenting. He eyed the Soldier warily as he approached Tony with a syringe and vial in hand.

“Please tell me one of you brought a sanitary wipe?” Tony asked. “You can’t just stick a needle in me without the proper care.”

Steve paused.

Rhodey grumbled and marched over to where they kept a spare med kit. When Rhodey came back, he had the wipe and couple of other supplies in his hands. He relinquished the items to Steve while keeping an eye on the Soldier.

Steve moved toward Tony again, and Tony could feel the Soldier tense with each step Steve took.

Tony was thankful that he had decided to stay in the Soldier’s arms. The Soldier couldn’t grab his gun as long as he held Tony. He’d have to drop Tony first and that would give Steve plenty of time to react.

Steve motioned for Tony to hold out his arm, and Tony did so.

Steve prepped Tony’s arm then carefully inserted the needle. Tony winced at the sting of the needle but said nothing as Steve injected him.

Fourteen seconds later, Steve removed the needle, slapped a band aid on the superficial wound, and hurriedly stepped back to give Tony and the Soldier space.

The Soldier did not look happy with Steve.

Tony held up his arm to show the Soldier. “Look, I’m not going to be a werewolf anymore. We should celebrate.”

The Soldier tightened his hold on Tony.

“There isn’t going to be any celebrating,” Steve cut in. “Tony, why did you try to destroy the moon gemstone without talking to anyone first? And Vision doesn’t count, because you said nothing about destroying the gem,” Steve cut off what Tony had planned to say in his defense.

Tony huffed. He hated it when Steve managed to stop his plan attack before he even got to say or do anything.

“I’m not so sure this is the conversation we should be having right now, considering…” Rhodey trailed off. He sent a meaningful glance the Soldier’s way, and Steve quickly deflated.

Steve sighed. “Rhodey is right. We’ll discuss this later. For now there is still one issue at hand.”

Steve didn’t have to say or look at the Soldier for Tony to know what he was referring to.

Guilt swelled in Tony’s chest.

Things had been going so well lately. Bucky hadn’t even mentioned the Soldier recently, and then Tony had to go and ruin everything. He hadn’t stopped to think how Bucky would be affected if something went awry while Tony was destroying the gem. Tony had just been thinking about getting rid of the threat before it became one.

The corner of the Soldier’s mouth twitched in a sneer. The arms around Tony became incredibly tight. The Soldier walked backward toward the elevator.

“Hey, hey!” Tony squawked in surprise. “Where are you going? I’m still talking to Steve.”

The Soldier glowered at Steve and Rhodey as he stepped into the lift with Tony. “They upset you. We’re leaving.” The Soldier pushed the button for Tony’s penthouse.

Before Tony could protest more, the doors closed.

“Are you protecting me? Emotionally?” Incredulity coated Tony’s voice.

The Soldier nodded. “You’re my partner.”

“Yeah, but you’re… you’re you.”

The Soldier raised an eyebrow at Tony, and carried him into the penthouse when the lift’s doors opened.

“You’re the Winter Soldier,” Tony explained. “Most fearsome assassin ever, or something like that.”

“And your partner.”

The Soldier set Tony on the couch.

“That too, but you must have had plenty.” Tony was aware that as far as Bucky knew, and as far as the HYDRA files went, Bucky had never had a partner while in HYDRA’s care. However, maybe the Soldier knew something that wasn’t in the files.

The Soldier frowned.

“Not one?” Tony asked.

“I don’t remember. Didn’t want one.”

Tony decided he should not go with the instinctive response of: “I doubt HYDRA cared about what you wanted.”

The silence between them was heavy and awkward. At least, it was for Tony. The Soldier didn’t seem at all affected by the quiet. In fact, he just kept staring at Tony creepily.

Tony scowled. “You know, you are just leaving yourself to be the butt of a really dated vampire joke, I hope you know.”

The Soldier continued to stare.

Tony’s stomach churned with worry for himself. He had no idea what he was doing. He was alone with a known assassin, which was worrisome on its own, but he was also dealing with the fact that Bucky’s persona was still out cold and Tony had no clue how to bring Bucky back.

The Soldier reached for Tony, and Tony tensed.

Tony gripped the arm of the couch to keep from jumping when the Soldier petted his head.

The Soldier grunted. “The wolf was better.”

Tony gaped. “Please tell me that was a joke. No, don’t. I might have a heart attack.”

“The wolf wasn’t scared.”

That gave Tony pause. “What was the wolf like?”

“Angry at first.” The Soldier shrugged. “Protective. My partner.”

Tony had thought if he could gather more information he might be able to find a way to bring Bucky back, but what he had learned wasn’t helpful at all. Tony wasn’t angry anymore, and while he did want to protect and help Bucky, he doubted those emotions were what were keeping the Soldier present.

“You know, if this were a fairy tale I could kiss you and Bucky would come back.” Tony sat up a little straighter. “Actually, maybe we should try that.”

The Soldier shook his head.

“I swear I’m a fantastic kisser.” Tony smiled and batted his eyelashes.

“No. You’re still vulnerable.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Tony held up his hand to silence the Soldier. “What you just said makes it sound like you can leave at any time. Can you?”

The Soldier didn’t answer.

Tony groaned.

“You have to be protected.”

“I am protected. I’m safe, and… and I never thought I’d be having this conversation with the Winter Soldier.”

The Soldier eyed him. “You’re still upset.”

“Because Bucky’s gone.”

The Soldier shook his head.

“You can’t really be sticking around until I find inner peace or whatever, right? That’s just… it will never happen.”

The Soldier remained his silent and statue like self.

Tony cursed. He’d better call his therapist to schedule an appointment for every day that week. Hell, he should probably plan for a month. He had the sinking suspicion that the Soldier wasn’t going to leave any time soon otherwise.


	19. Chapter 19

“Someone explain to me how the one time I desperately want to go to therapy, I can’t book an appointment day of unless it’s a life or death situation?” Tony huffed as he stormed into the common room, the Soldier tailing him the whole time.

Clint and Sam startled and paused their racing video game as they twisted on the couch to get a better look at the Soldier and Tony.

Natasha, who had been calmly reading, glanced up from her book and then repositioned herself so she’d be able to jump off the couch faster if she was required to do so.

Tony internally bristled at Natasha’s reaction, but he was able to stomp down the irrational part of him that saw Natasha’s actions as a threat to his guide. He knew Natasha was also operating under her own instincts to protect Clint and Sam.

“You’re trying to see your therapist?” Natasha asked. “What’s wrong?”

Tony looked around the room. “I knew I should have asked FRIDAY where Steve was before coming down here. I just assumed Steve and Sam would be having one of their tea and chocolate sessions after all of this angst.” Tony wrinkled his nose. “At least drink coffee you heathens.”

“Steve is covering for us,” Clint added. “He thought we could use a break from making sure werewolf you didn’t go crazy.”

Tony recognized a half-truth when he heard one. Clint and the others might have been monitoring Bucky and him before, but Tony would give up one of his PhDs if the team wasn’t keeping an eye on the Soldier 24/7 until they could be sure he wasn’t going to harm anyone.

Based on the venomous stare that could make a flower wilt that the Soldier aimed at Clint, the Soldier was not unaware of Clint’s attempt at a subtle information exchange.

The Soldier glanced about the room. His jaw tightened when he couldn’t find any cameras.

Out of habit, Tony reached out for the Soldier’s hand, his fingers lightly brushing the Soldier’s before squeezing—or at least, Tony had been about to squeeze.

The Soldier jerked his hand away from Tony’s.

Tony’s reaction was instantaneous. His heart lurched then pinched at the Soldier’s rejection.

The Soldier’s shoulders sprang together. His brow knitted as he prodded his chest.

Tony shook his head and took a deep breath. Bucky wasn’t the one rejecting him; it was the Soldier, and the Soldier rejecting him was fine. The Soldier wasn’t his friend or lover.

Tony startled when metal fingers interlocked with Tony’s.

Tony bit down a yelp as he was yanked closer to the Soldier.

Their shoulders brushed. The Soldier scrutinized their hands. His mouth was a thin line of befuddlement.

Tony slowly moved his hand away from the Soldier’s. He didn’t want to risk spooking or upsetting the Soldier by yanking his hand away, so he dragged it out of the Soldier’s grasp then took a step back.

Tony cleared his throat and returned his attention to his teammates, all three of which were watching him and the Soldier attentively. “If Steve is busy playing Big Brother, then I’m going to my lab to make sure all of you didn’t ruin it.”

“Wow.” Sam whistled in admiration. “The guy who turned into a werewolf and trashed his own lab is throwing shade at the people who cleaned up his mess.”

“Cleaning up a mess is easy. Having to decipher someone’s method of organization then reorganize everything so it’s the way I want it takes more time and energy.”

Tony huffed and headed for the elevator.

“Hey, Tony,” Sam hollered after him.

Tony paused and looked over his shoulder at Sam and the others.

“You know, you can talk to us.” Sam gestured at himself, Clint, and Natasha. “We may not be as unbiased as your therapist, but it’s better than nothing if something is really bothering you. Plus,” Sam grinned, “it might give you a few bonus points in Steve’s book. After the moon gemstone fiasco, it would assuage some of Steve’s worry and frustration if you demonstrated that you are willing to come and talk to us.”

Tony internally winced, but kept a straight face on outwardly. “I may have jumped the gun a bit, but overall it was for the best and it turned out okay.”

“You call turning into a werewolf okay?” Clint deadpanned.

“For only a night, and no one got seriously hurt?” Tony was desperately shoving down the voice in his head that was screaming Bucky’s name over and over again. “Yeah, worth it. Any potential threat that stone was is now gone, and we can go back to tracking down HYDRA bases and fighting off alien hordes without the fear of a werewolf army rising up somewhere.”

“I don’t know,” Natasha drawled. “Fighting a werewolf army sounds fun.” There was a twinkle in her eye.

Tony scoffed. “You would say that.”

“She is the one who single handedly stopped werewolf Steve, feral you, and soldier boy over there,” Clint pointed out.

“Show off,” Tony said, and headed for the elevator again.

“The offer to talk still stands,” Sam said.

Tony grumbled under his breath and shifted as he waited the two seconds for the elevator to open. He hurried inside with his personal living shadow following him on his heels.

Tony shoved his hands in his pockets and did his best to act nonchalant, but he knew with the bond the Soldier was fully aware of his discomfort.

Tony contemplated shutting off the bond like he’d done a couple of times when he and Bucky had bonded on the island. He recalled though Bucky’s extreme reaction and reconsidered the idea. Tony had no clue how the Soldier would react if he suddenly blocked him out; it was safer to let the Soldier continue to feel his emotions.

Perhaps though he should try subverting his more negative ones and project happiness as he’d done before? He could trick—

The Soldier hooked his thumb and forefinger under Tony’s chin and examined Tony’s face.

Tony froze but forced himself to say, “Excuse you, but you can’t go around touching people’s faces whenever you damn please.”

“You think too much.” The Soldier released Tony’s chin and marched out of the elevator right as the doors opened to the lab.

Tony gaped then snapped his mouth shut. He chased the Soldier into the lab. “I’ll have you know, Bucky likes it when I think. He said so himself.”

The Soldier cocked an eyebrow at Tony.

Tony scowled and stormed past him over to one of his tables that were covered in files and tools, all of which belonged in other areas of the lab.

Tony shoved the items aside clear up a spot where he could flip through the files and organize them accordingly. Luckily, he kept most of his files electronically, so he only had a few physical ones. Still, it was a hassle.

After five minutes, Tony spun around on the Soldier, who had been watching him the whole time. “You know, you can pull up a chair. It won’t be as creepy as you standing behind me and watching me. You make me feel like a prisoner in my own lab.”

Without a word, the Soldier waltzed up to the nearest chair, dragged it across the floor, and plopped himself in it.

“You have to have something better to do than watch me fix this mess,” Tony said.

The Soldier stared blankly ahead.

Tony shook his head. At least Bucky’s worst fear that the Soldier would go on a rampage seemed unlikely at this point.

Guilt stabbed Tony in the chest.

He needed to find some way to get Bucky back. The Soldier made it sound like he could go at any time, but that he refused to do so. So maybe if Tony could convince him to go, he could get Bucky back?

The Soldier said Tony was too vulnerable though, so how could he make himself less vulnerable?

Tony shook his head. Physically he was as safe as could be, and emotionally… well, he was always an emotional wreck. Therapy might help, but even if he could arrange several meetings, Tony had his doubts. Plus, he really didn’t want Bucky gone for that length of time. Tony already missed him.

A sharp pang of longing rang out in Tony’s chest. He mindlessly touched where the arc reactor had once been nestled in his body; it felt like he’d been hollowed out and filled with the reactor again.

The Soldier rose. He approached Tony. He gripped Tony’s elbow and studied him. “You’re in pain.”

An idea occurred to Tony just then. Maybe instead of making himself less vulnerable, he needed to make himself more vulnerable—make it obvious that without Bucky Tony was even more of an emotional wreck.

Tony took a shaky breath and let his emotions overcome him.

He gasped when he felt real honest to god tears pool in his eyes.

The Soldier swiftly cupped Tony’s face and wiped away the tears. He scowled. “What’s wrong?”

“Bucky,” Tony said, the name a punch to his gut. “I want Bucky back.”

The Soldier shook his head.

Desperation clawed at Tony and he gripped the hands holding his face. “You don’t understand; I need Bucky. And not just for sex. I need him. He’s put up with so much of my shit, and me him, and I could be the crappiest person on the planet and not only will he tell me to my face that, but he’ll still be there. And it’s the same for me. He can be a friggin’ asshole, but he’s my… he’s my…friend, my guide, and I just need him back. He’s the only person who understands half of the shit going on in my head sometimes.”

The Solider let go of Tony’s face and shook his head again.

Tony choked on a sob and froze. He blinked away tears as he stared at the floor in awe of himself. He was really getting emotional. It was like there was a torrent inside of him, and now that he’d unleashed it he couldn’t stop.

“I need Bucky back. I need to know that he’s safe, and that I didn’t screw him over because I made the same mistake I always make.” Tears. So many tears. “I’m supposed to be a genius, yet I didn’t even consider what would happen to Bucky if I messed with the moon gemstone. I made his worst fear come true. I screwed up so bad, and I just need to know the he’s okay. That we’re okay. That I didn’t just break the last straw holding us together, and that he’s going to leave for good, because I can’t… I can’t…”

The Soldier blinked rapidly, life entering his eyes.

Bucky inhaled sharply as he took in Tony’s face. “Tony? Where—“ Bucky cut himself off as he moved toward Tony with his arms open for a hug. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Tony cursed, not wanting Bucky (or anyone really) to see him so distraught. “I fucked up and you left, you bastard.” Tony threw his arms around Bucky’s neck and hugged him close. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Bucky’s arms wrapped around Tony’s waist. “What do you mean I left? Are you talking about when Steve and I went out for a run? And what the heck happened? I was with Steve last I remember. Why is your lab different, and Jesus, why are you crying?”

Tony tightened his hold on Bucky and let the words pour out of him. He tried to stop the waterworks—god damn waterworks—but his eyes refused to obey him. He told Bucky about the moon gemstone, turning into a werewolf, and the Soldier with tears flowing down his face. He felt embarrassed, but was mostly aggravated with himself when he got to the Soldier part and instead of calming down and being Bucky’s support system, he kept crying.

In his arms Bucky tensed as Tony quickly went over how the Soldier had appeared and that the man had recognized Tony as his partner and been steadfast in keeping Tony close.

“So no death, but from what I gathered, it sounds like he initially may have kicked some ass to get to me, but otherwise he was just a really creepy and overprotective guard dog,” Tony rambled.

Bucky trembled in Tony’s arms.

Tony buried his face in Bucky’s shoulder and sucked in a whiff of his scent; it might be the last time Bucky ever allowed Tony to be so close again. “I’m sorry.”

Bucky squeezed Tony impossibly tight. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. You’re freaking out.”

Bucky shushed him. “I’m going to be fine. He—I didn’t harm anyone.”

Tony pulled his head back to look Bucky in the eye. “If he does harm anyone, you know it’s not you, right? You two are completely different people. You’re hilarious and he is trying out for the part of the brooding bad boy in the next teen blockbuster.”

Bucky chuckled, the sound weak and broken. “Thanks.”

Tony didn’t know what else to say, so instead he just held on to Bucky and nuzzled his cheek against Bucky’s neck.

They were silent for a moment.

Bucky took a deep breath and his trembling lessened. “You know what’s really freaky though?”

“What?”

Bucky leaned his head back and raised up one hand to brush away the tears leaking out from the corner of Tony’s eyes, the action seemingly working like magic, because no more tears flowed after Bucky’s gentle touch. “The fact that you’re crying. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry. I’ve seen you get a few tears in your eyes, but never full out bawling.”

“Shut up.” Tony knocked Bucky’s hand away and hid his face in Bucky’s shoulder. “Stark men don’t cry, and if you tell anyone otherwise, I will kick your ass.”

“Aw, Tony,” Bucky tried to get Tony to look at him. Tony resisted at first, but after some nudging and twisting on Bucky’s part, Bucky and him were face to face. “You know I won’t think less of ya for crying.”

“I didn’t cry.”

Bucky sighed and shook his head. He leaned down and cocked his head so he could kiss the corner of Tony’s eye. “You sure? Because your eyes are looking a little red and puffy.”

Tony scowled, even as a part of him took consolation in Bucky’s kiss. “I’m sure.”

Bucky hummed. “Then I guess I’ll just leave this spot alone.” Bucky rubbed at the corner of the eye he hadn’t kissed.

“You can’t do half the job and then quit.” Tony turned his head so Bucky would have easy access to the corner of his eye. “Now kiss it.”

Bucky chuckled—a soft, but genuine sound—and pecked the offered spot.

The affectionate gesture soothed something inside of Tony.

Tony leaned into Bucky’s embrace. “I missed you.”

Bucky rubbed Tony’s back. “I’m glad I’m back.”

“I don’t want you to disappear again.”

Bucky nodded and rested his chin on top of Tony’s head. “Same here.”


	20. Chapter 20

“I admit, I overreacted and should have consulted the team first,” Tony said diplomatically as he held his guard up against Steve. The two of them were boxing as Steve took the time to explain (and maybe get a few punches into Tony’s solar plexus) calmly and rationally why he was very disappointed in Tony’s lack of communication.

“This just feels like a an endless cycle with you, Tony.” Steve aimed a punch for Tony’s head.

Tony blocked and stepped into Steve’s space, aiming a knee into Steve’s ribs. “That’s probably because it is.”

Steve blocked and used Tony’s precarious balance to knock Tony to the ground. Steve pinned Tony down. “That doesn’t make it better.”

“Listen,” Tony tried to grapple his way out from underneath Steve. “I’m a take charge kind of guy. I can play with a team and let you lead us around, but the moment something drops into my lap and no else is around, I’m going to mess with it until I get my desired results.”

Tony grunted when Steve effortlessly pushed Tony back down to the mat.

“I’m not okay with that, and people were around. They just weren’t in the same room as you.”

“Like you’ve never done anything reckless without consulting anyone first.”

Steve opened his mouth to speak.

“I’d like to remind you that Bucky and I are very close, so whatever you’re about to say can easily be backed up or dismissed by your best friend.”

Steve snapped his mouth shut. He clenched his jaw for a moment before finally saying, “Fine. You’re right that I have my moments too, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. You and everyone else get to yell at me when I run off on my own, and we get to do it to you too.”

“Great.” Tony wiggled under Steve. “So are you going to let me up now?”

Steve smirked and sat down on top of Tony. “Make me.”

“You would pin down your poor, loving friend, who has just poured his heart out to you?”

“You call that pouring your heart out?”

Tony dramatically threw his arm across his face. “Oh woe is me. My darling Steve has captured me under his thighs of steel. I am forever imprisoned unless one of my two darling knights can save me. Will it be Rhodey, or will it be Bucky?” Tony gasped and covered his mouth. “What if my darling but sadistic Steve chooses to have his wicked way with me while he has me pinned? My knights will never want me after I’ve been so thoroughly soiled.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “You’ve already been ‘ _soiled’_ by Bucky numerous times. I don’t care how casual you two are, you are officially off limits.”

Tony tried to sit up but failed. “Wait! Are you saying that there weren’t any limits before? That you would have happily had your wicked way with me? Oh god, Steve, do you know just how much sex you missed out on?”

The tips of Steve’s ears reddened, but he kept a straight face. “Keep it in your pants, Tony.”

“You’re not saying ‘no!’ Holy crap! FRIDAY, please tell me you are recording this.”

“Jeez, and what am I, a Steve replacement?” Bucky’s voice cut through Tony’s dramatics.

Tony yelped, and without even trying, he threw Steve off of him.

Steve made a sound of surprise as he hit the floor.

Tony scrambled to Bucky. “Heck no, Bucky babe. The wicked and wonderful things you do to me and let me do to you cannot be matched or replicated.”

Bucky made a show of crossing his arms and looking away from Tony.

Tony grabbed one of Bucky’s arms and used it for balance and he leaned up and kissed Bucky’s cheek. “You’re my favorite of favorites. No one else. I’d pick you over Steve any day.”

“I don’t know if I should be insulted or relieved to hear you say that,” Steve said.

Bucky’s hand rested on Tony’s cradle, drawing Tony closer. “You don’t know what you’re missing out on, Steve.” Bucky finally turned his head so he was looking at Tony. His eyes shone with happiness. He kissed Tony chastely, but his firm hold on Tony and the pheromones Bucky was releasing promised Tony more to come. “Utterly fantastic.”

Steve let out an annoyed breath. “Will you two just go already? I do not need to smell _that_.”

“Your loss.” Bucky bent down and swept Tony up into his arms.

Tony grinned. “Yes! Princess carried and I didn’t even have to ask for it.” He kissed Bucky hard on the mouth. “This is why you are my favorite of favorites.”

“I think there a quite a few more reasons than that.” Bucky’s voice dropped an octave, which did wonderful things to Tony and made his pants a bit on the tight side. “I’ll just have to remind you.”

“Remind away,” Tony latched his mouth onto Bucky’s and thoroughly explored Bucky as Bucky carried him through the gym, in and out of the lift, and toward Tony’s bedroom.

Bucky was almost to the bedroom door when Tony pulled away long enough to gasp for air.

The sunset haloed Bucky in an orange glow. Tony wasn’t much of an artist, but even he could appreciate the beautiful play of colors and light.

Tony rumbled happily and kissed Bucky chastely. “I’m all for sex, but you sure about this? It hasn’t even been a full day since your alter ego came out.”

Bucky maneuvered his hold on Tony and pinned Tony to the wall, his knee coming to rest between Tony’s thighs. His leg teased Tony with its barely there pressure. Tony moaned and tried to push down against Bucky, but Bucky held him in place as he trailed kisses down Tony’s neck.

“Wanna forget about that. Just want to feel good.”

Tony ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair and gripped tight, encouraging Bucky to focus on one spot on his neck. Tony shuddered as Bucky scraped his teeth along Tony’s skin, promising to leave a beautiful bruise there. “Now _that_ I can do for you.”

Tony freed one hand from Bucky’s hair and slipped it under Bucky’s shirt.

Tony reveled at the shudder he elicited when he glided his hand across Bucky’s abs, stopping just short of Bucky’s chest.

Bucky sucked down hard on Tony’s neck and Tony threw his head back. “Harder,” his tone came out breathy.

Bucky obliged and Tony once again tried to squirm down against Bucky’s knee.

A jolt of pleasure and pain rippled through Tony’s body as he received his delicious friction.

The pain grew sharper, and Tony hissed. His muscles squeezed together as he tried to push aside the pain.

Bucky withdrew from Tony’s neck, lust-clouded eyes shining with worry. “Tony?”

The pain got sharper, and Tony clutched his stomach.

“Tony!” Bucky clung to him.

Tony’s vision blurred.

He howled as his bones expanded and cracked.

Through his hazy vision, Tony spotted the night sky.

He screamed and then his vision went black.


	21. Chapter 21

Tony grumbled as metal fingers scratched his ears.

His ears flicked back and forth as he sniffed the air to figure out where he was and who he was with. He was in his penthouse and resting on the couch from what he could tell. His head was pillowed in Bucky’s lap; although, Bucky’s lap was much smaller than he remembered.

Tony tried to speak but all that came out was a growl-like sound.

Tony opened his eyes and felt his tail swish in agitation.

_A tail!_

Tony launched up onto his hands and feet and almost fell off the couch when where his human limbs should be were massive, furry appendages with claws.

Tony yelped as he whirled and spotted his tail tucking itself between his legs.

Tony hit the ground with a cry of panic and slashed one of the couch cushions on his way down.

The Soldier eyed the claw marks on the couch then turned his attention to Tony.

Tony wanted to swallow, but instead he growled and flattened his ears to his head.

He was a werewolf! How was that possible? He’d taken the cure! Maybe the cure had only worked on Steve because of the Super Soldier Serum? No, no, that couldn’t be. Something had gone wrong. Something—

The Soldier rested his hand on Tony’s head, drawing Tony out of his panicked mind long enough to hear his own whimpers and notice that he’d curled in on himself.

The Soldier kneeled in front of Tony and stroked Tony’s face. His eyes darted across Tony, examining him. “Your human self is in control.”

Tony’s tail wagged and he growled at it.

His claws left gashes in the floor.

The Soldier just kept petting Tony, acting oblivious to everything that was wrong with the current picture.

And damn it all, if the petting wasn’t soothing.

Tony huffed and rested his chin on the Soldier’s shoulder.

The Soldier kept stroking Tony and Tony became more lax with each passing moment. He slumped against the Soldier, and the Soldier bared the weight without complaint, despite Tony big quite a bit larger than him. The Soldier relaxed under Tony, his heart beat slowing down and his breathing going deep.

Tony closed his eyes.

This wasn’t so bad. Odd, but not bad.

Tony snuffled along the Soldier’s neck then tensed.

He shouldn’t be this affectionate with the Soldier. He should be sending the Soldier away and trying to get Bucky back.

Tony couldn’t find the strength to fight against the Soldier though. His brain was fuzzy and content. He was with his guide. His guide who was content and relaxed, something Tony loved. His guide moved and breathed, and just gave off such a different energy when he was relaxed. It was why Tony could spend hours after sex just running his hands up and down Bucky’s body, tracing equations into Bucky’s skin, and lazily kissing Bucky wherever he pleased. Everything was peaceful in those moments.

The solider leaned against the couch and wrapped his arms around Tony, hugging him. The Soldier buried his face in Tony’s fur and took a deep breath. He ran his fingers up and down Tony’s side, causing Tony’s muscles to turn to goo.

Tony closed his eyes and surrendered to sleep.

* * *

 Tony woke to his guide kissing his forehead and had a hand running up and down his naked flank. He’d have to look into using the synthetic fibers he’d used for Bruce’s hulk pants to make himself some underwear if he was going to keep transforming in a werewolf. Or maybe he could just borrow Steve’s uniform since it had similar fibers.

Tony blinked, opened his eyes, and craned his head back.

Bucky smiled fondly down at him. “Hey, stranger.”

Tony sighed in relief and snuggled closer to Bucky. The blanket that had been tossed over him slipped down and Tony yanked it up to his shoulder for warmth. His eyes flicked over to the window. He frowned when he still saw the night sky outside. “I’d say I’m not fully cured, but the sun hasn’t risen.”

“The sun will rise in an hour, Boss,” FRIDAY said from overhead. “Rhodey is currently monitoring you and Mr. Barnes. He would like to know your status.”

“Single,” Tony quipped. His muscles felt sore and abused. He didn’t have the strength to stand, let alone answer the questions that he was sure his friends had.

“Very funny, Tony,” Rhodey’s voice came over the intercom. “You two had all of us terrified when FRIDAY told us last night that you had transformed and Bucky had gone Winter Soldier again.”

“Someone must have messed up when making the cure,” Tony mumbled.

Bucky brushed a dark curl out of Tony’s face and kissed his forehead.

Tony tried to sit up so he could kiss Bucky back but he collapsed against Bucky.

Bucky clung to him, and kissed Tony’s temple.

“We contacted Fury and he double checked the formula and ingredients. It should have worked; however, Vision and Wanda came up with a theory.”

“I’m all ears.”

“You’re not going to like it. It has to do with magic and power. Basically, it comes back to the concept that power isn’t something that can be destroyed, so it has to be transferred and/or dispersed. You cracked the gem, the power was released, and now you are a werewolf.”

Tony groaned. “There has to be a cure.”

“We can work on one once it looks like you can move again. I’ll come up there with more of the original cure in a little bit. Maybe we can’t cure you completely of your lycanthropy, but maybe we can lessen the effects. After all, you’re human again and the sun hasn’t risen.”

“I am aware,” Tony said softly.

“No need for sarcasm.”

“No,” Tony said. Once again Tony tried to sit up, but couldn’t do so without Bucky’s help. He huffed and accepted that for the moment he needed to use Bucky as his personal crutch. “I was aware when I was a werewolf. I wasn’t before. Something changed.”

There was a pause. “Okay. We’ll figure this out later. For now, I’m going to make some more of that concoction. Call if anything happens,” Rhodey said.

“Will do,” Tony said.

The silence that followed told Tony that Rhodey had taken off to do as promised.

Bucky kept lightly pressing kisses to Tony’s forehead and stroking Tony’s sides.

Tony frowned. “I’m all right.” His kissed Bucky’s clavicle. “Stop worrying.”

“I saw you transform,” Bucky whispered. He gritted his teeth even as he kept kissing Tony. “I could feel your pain. The Soldier took over before I could do anything. I was terrified.”

Tony grunted. “Can’t blame you. A lot of people would be scared of a werewolf.”

Bucky scowled. He hugged Tony so tight it was uncomfortable. “I was scared for you, you idiot.”

Tony shook his head. “You shouldn’t have been. Not with the Winter Soldier sneaking out. I’m sor—”

Bucky smashed his mouth against Tony’s. The kiss was desperate and sloppy, and Tony could not keep up with the ferocity of it. All he could do was surrender to the fervor of Bucky’s kiss.

A small breath escaped Tony as Bucky pulled away.

“I don’t want to hear you apologize.”

“But I—”

Bucky kissed Tony again, and while the kiss was not the best, Tony would not deny that he really enjoyed Bucky’s new way of shutting him up.

“You’re my sentinel and I’m your guide, and we’re both messes. If we keep apologizing for that shit then we’re going to be apologizing every moment of every day. I’m scared to death of what the Soldier will do, but for whatever reason, he seems to be okay to just hang out with you, and if that’s all he ever does then I can live with that. I’m still not happy to have him come out, but I can handle that much.”

“That’s a pretty big turn around,” Tony commented.

“Tony, I just watched you in complete and utter agony as your body was transformed, while also getting the emotional feedback from it. My priorities have shifted immensely in the last few hours.”

Tony sighed and closed his eyes, soaking in Bucky’s presence. “Yeah. I guess I can understand that.”

“You have to stop scaring me like this,” Bucky said. “I’m an old man, you’ll give me a heart attack and I’ll die.”

Tony guffawed. It wasn’t that funny of a joke, but it tickled Tony in just the right way, and he really needed a laugh right now.

Once Tony’s laughter died down, they sat there in silence. Bucky continued with his tender touches and kisses while Tony lazily and calmly soaked in the affection.

Tony felt something from Bucky’s end of the bond. Something just as soft and tender as his touch, and Tony felt it coming from his end of the bond in return. The sensation warmed him, and despite how crazy everything had been it felt like Bucky and him were in their own little bubble of safety and protection.

Tony took in a deep breath as he felt the last of Bucky’s worry evaporate from his posture and he just held Tony.

Tony really did love moments like this.

Tony leaned up, finally have gained some strength back, and brushed his lips along Bucky’s. “I think I may be falling for you.”

Bucky cupped Tony’s face. “I know.” He kissed Tony, and Tony smiled.

The love he felt for Bucky grew. Of course that idiot charmer would reference Star Wars.

Bucky broke their kiss, but didn’t let Tony get far. “And just so you know, I’m falling for you too.”

“I figured out that much.” Tony slotted their lips back together.


	22. Chapter 22

Tony had his strength back, but he was enjoying the extra attention he was receiving from Bucky, so indulged himself a little and used Bucky as his own personal teddy bear and pillow as their teammates filled the living room and mulled over what to do about Tony’s lycanthropy.

Tony grumbled and scooted closer to Bucky when Vision prodded him in the side.

Vision shook his head. “I cannot tell what is happening with the power within you. The sentience that had been in the stone appears to have left.”

Wanda leaned over from the back of the couch and touched Tony’s forehead.

Tony scowled and smacked her hand away. “Enough with the touching.”

“I don’t sense anything either,” Wanda said.

“But the power is still there?” Steve asked.

Rhodey pulled up a miniature hologram of Tony’s body on his tablet. “According to FRIDAY everything looks normal. She’s still analyzing the DNA sample I collected.”

Tony grumbled. “My mouth still tastes like cotton swab. Next time can we use Bucky’s tongue to collect DNA?”

Bucky hugged Tony. “While I wouldn’t mind swapping spit with ya, I don’t think that’s the best way to collect DNA.”

“You know what is a fun way to collect DNA?” Tony wiggled his eyebrows.

Clint fake gagged. “Ew. How is it you two are so disgustingly flirtatious even when one of you is a werewolf and the other has a bad habit of going super assassin on us?”

Bucky winced.

Tony growled and bared his teeth at Clint.

Everyone froze.

Tony paused, his brain catching up with his actions. “Just to be clear, I swear I am not going feral. I think that was my new animal half rearing its ugly head.”

“Fascinating,” Vision said, eyeing Tony.

Bucky hugged Tony protectively and glared at Vision.

“Perhaps we should focus less on Tony defending his territory or whatever Tony thinks of Bucky as, and instead focus on how we handle this new situation?” Natasha said.

Rhodey tapped on the tablet and pulled up a few more images. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out, and it would help if the guy who always manages to run circles around me when it comes to this kind of stuff would stop mooning over his fuck buddy for a few minutes and help.”

Tony grumbled and wrapped his arms around Bucky. “Can’t. Too weak.”

Rhodey huffed. “Tony, need I remind you just how painful your transformation was last night? Do you really want a repeat of it tonight?”

Well, when Rhodey put it like that…

With a disappointed sigh, Tony sat up and held out his hand for the tablet.

Bucky pushed himself against the corner of the couch so there was more room and Tony followed him, keeping himself pressed against Bucky, which gave Rhodey plenty of space to sit down on the other side of Tony.

Tony flicked through the readings. “We have a time lapse of the last forty-eight hours?”

“Yes, boss,” FRIDAY said. “Should I play it?”

“No, I’m just asking because I want to make sure you’re not slacking while I’ve been wolfing out.”

“I’m insulted that you think I would.”

A clock popped up at the bottom corner of the image of his body. The clock quickly sped through the last forty-eight hours.

Tony cringed as he watched the image of himself transform into a werewolf. The image was just a silhouette, but it was still enough to make his stomach roil as he watched the fast contortion of his body that defied all physics and should have left him dead.  

The time lapse finished.

Tony flicked through the tablet and pulled up an image of his head during his first transformation and during his second. “Well look at that brain activity.”

Rhodey leaned in close. “Sorry, my neuroscience is a little rusty, what are we looking at?”

“Confirmation other than my own word that I was more in control of myself during my second transformation than my first.” Tony pulled up more information. “Second transformation and de-transformation were faster by a 2.3 seconds. FRIDAY replay what we were seeing after Werewolf Begone injection.”

FRIDAY did so.

“Slow it down before full absorption.”

“Anyone else feel useless here?” Clint asked.

Everyone shushed him.

Tony worked through the information, not liking the theories his brain conjured up.

“Well?” Steve asked.

Tony rested the tablet on his lap. “I am improving, but whether or not that is because of the cure I made for you it is hard to say. I’m not getting the same readings I was getting when you were a werewolf. I might be getting better, but without more testing, I can’t determine if it’s because of the cure or because of something else. Until I get more solid answers the best thing may be to continue injecting me with the Werewolf Begone and monitoring the effects.”

Bucky sat up straighter. “But that means you could end up transforming every night until you can figure out a way to tailor the cure so it works for you. That’s too much pain for you to bare.”

Tony nodded. “Morphine.”

“You want us to drug you?” Clint asked.

“Why not? It shouldn’t have an adverse reaction to the serum, and if we only do it right before I transform then maybe the transformation won’t cause me to pass out from the pain. As I said, this is different from what Steve had. Essentially, the only data I have now is what little FRIDAY has gathered. Trust me, if I could pull a new cure out of my ass right now I would do it.”

“Perhaps it cannot be cured?” Vision said.

Natasha eyed Vision. “You’re talking about the power transfer?”

Vision nodded. “The gem’s power is in you now, Tony. It may be that you are a werewolf forever.”

“But he transformed back into a human an hour before sunrise,” Bucky argued, “so something Tony did must have lessened the affects.”

“Or perhaps he is adapting,” Vision suggested. “We know virtually nothing of this gem or it’s powers. We know how HYDRA used it to create werewolves, but we have not seen what happens when a human has absorbed all of the gem’s power.”

“Which is why I say drug me up before sunset and let’s study me. We’re never going to get answers until we do so. Who knows, maybe Vision is right and am the team’s new Hulk.” Tony pouted. “I miss Banner.”

No one was happy with that plan, but after spending another hour circling back and forth around the idea, eventually everyone came to the agreement to wait and monitor the situation.

* * *

“Okay, I’m not even the empath in this relationship and I can feel your worry. ” Tony opened his eyes and uncrossed his legs from his meditative pose. Bucky had suggested after everyone left that Tony and him take some time focus on the bond and each other.

Tony had been greatly disappointed to learn that Bucky had not been referring to sex, but he’d take group meditation for now. After the last couple of days he’d had, he needed a moment to clear his head so he could approach the werewolf problem with a fresh mind.

To quote his internal hippie though, Bucky’s bad mood was harshing his vibes.

Bucky took a deep breath and released it, letting his shoulders slump. “I have a lot on my mind.”

“I swear just because I grow fur and fangs you are not suddenly a furry. There is a whole different criteria for that. Also, I am not a furry. …I think.”

“You know that’s not what I’m thinking about.” Bucky huffed.

Tony rolled onto his hands knees and crawled over to Bucky. “But wouldn’t it be more fun to think about that? Do you really want to keep thinking about this werewolf thing? Or is it the Soldier thing? Even if you think my werewolf drama takes priority over that, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s still making appearances. Albeit, non-murderous ones. Or is it both?”

Bucky’s hands went to Tony’s hips, giving an encouraging squeeze. “Yes.”

“That’s so depressing.” Tony climbed into Bucky’s lap. He wrapped his arms around Bucky and guided Bucky’s head to the crook of his neck.

Bucky breathed deep and relaxed.

Tony smiled. “Better?”

Bucky hummed. “A little.” His thumbs massaged Tony’s hips.

Tony chuckled. “You know, I love that I turned you into the touching type.”

Bucky snorted. “You did not.”

Tony wiggled his hips. “So did.”

Bucky squeezed Tony, then flopped onto the ground, letting Tony lay on top of him. His fingers drummed along Tony’s hip. “I like touching.”

Tony mock gasped. “Did you lie to me when we were on that island?”

Pink tinted Bucky’s cheeks and he looked away. “There was a lot going on and I had issues. I still have them. You don’t exactly see me hugging everyone, do you?”

Tony ran his palms over Bucky’s chest, loving the feel of Bucky under him. “No.” Tony grinned wickedly. “I get you all to myself.”

Bucky scoffed. “Glad to know that…” Bucky trailed off and frowned. “You distracted me,” Bucky stated.

Tony made a noncommittal sound. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re distracting me from thinking about—”

Tony cut Bucky off with a kiss.

Tony pulled away, replacing his lips with a silencing finger. “How about you let me keep distracting you?” He removed his finger and kissed Bucky again. “There’s nothing we can do about my werewolf problems that we haven’t done already, and unless you know some way how to deal with the Soldier then there isn’t anything we can do about him either.”

Bucky sighed and kissed Tony briefly. For a moment he just lay on the ground in silence, his hand mindlessly roving over Tony’s backside. “This helps. Touching. Contact. Keeps me calm. Makes me happy and I feel more in control.”

“Then let me make you happy.”

Tony leaned down for another kiss, but jerked to a halt when Bucky whispered, “You do.”

Tony froze. He wasn’t sure anyone had ever said that about him before.

Bucky cupped his face. “Hey, don’t go running off on me.” Bucky leaned up and kissed Tony’s forehead. “You promised to distract me.”

“Yeah.” Tony mentally shook off his surprise. His hands wandered over Bucky. “Yeah, sounds good.”

* * *

Tony had still blacked out when he transformed the third night, but the morphine had helped him last longer.

When he woke it was once again to the Winter Soldier. Unlike before though, the Soldier had laid Tony on the couch and was practicing his combat moves in the middle of Tony’s living room.

The Soldier threw a punch then yanked it back. He stood ramrod straight for ten seconds, as if waiting for a command. He glanced over at Tony.

Tony flicked an ear.

The Soldier grunted and went back to his training.

Tony grumbled and pushed himself off the couch.

He flexed his fingers and claws and watched them move. He did the same with his toes.

Tony stepped forward and wobbled before dropping to all fours.

Tony felt his balance shift and could tell right away that while his body was built so he could stand and walk around on two legs, he was faster and more centered when he was on all fours.

Tony eyed the Soldier.

The Soldier continued with his shadow boxing or whatever the hell it was he was doing.

Tony walked around the room, avoiding the Soldier’s space.

He sniffed, taking in more scents than he’d had before, but not feeling overwhelmed by them. He closed his eyes and listened. H swore he could hear farther and better too.

Tony’s stomach growled and he growled back at it.

The Soldier stopped his training. He looked over at Tony then marched to the kitchen.

Tony followed, curious as to what the Soldier was doing.

A moment later, Tony salivated as the Soldier pulled out a raw steak from the fridge.

Tony knew he’d been planning to cook that steak for tomorrow, but he was too ravenous to care. He licked his lips.

The Soldier tossed the meat at Tony, and Tony snatched it out of the air with his mouth. Tony growled and dropped the steak on the floor so he could tear into it with his claws. He devastated the steak in seconds and rumbled happily.

He was so happy and content that he didn’t think twice when the Soldier reached down and scratched him between the ears.

He was embarrassed to admit that his tail wagged when the Soldier pulled out the second steak in the fridge.

* * *

“Two hours before sunrise,” Bucky said before Tony could speak.

Tony groaned and arched his aching back. “So less time as a werewolf. Great. By the way, I think the Soldier thinks I’m his pet.”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek.

“Something you want to say?” Tony asked.

Bucky tapped his fingers on his leg. “It’s really inappropriate, but if I wasn’t still wary of the fella, I’d say it’s cute that my other half thinks your other half is his pet.”

Tony narrowed his eyes at Bucky. “Is this you hinting for pet play?”

Bucky flushed. “Forget I ever said anything.”

“Not so sure about full on pet play, but I’m open to collars.”

Bucky almost tripped in his attempt to get away from Tony and save himself from embarrassment. “How do you manage to turn everything into a conversation about sex?”

“It’s a gift.”

Bucky paused. He looked like he wanted to take off again, but he squared his shoulders and plopped himself next to Tony. “Other than the usual aches and pains, how are you doing?”

Tony poked his teeth with his tongue. “I think I have piece of meat caught in my teeth, but otherwise I’m just fine and dandy.”

“You sure? You’re a werewolf now, Tony. That’s some body horror level crap, and as someone who has gone through a version of that with the arm, I’m worried.”

Tony shrugged and ignored the prickling sensation in his gut. “I won’t say it gives me the warm fuzzies. Wait, no, it gives me the literal ones but not the figurative ones, which in this case, are far superior. Anyway, point is, I’m compartmentalizing and doing what I need to do to get through this. Maybe it’s permanent; maybe it’s not. Until I have answers, I’m not going to sweat it. I’d go nuts if I did. Plus,” Tony tapped on his chest where the arc reactor used to be, “not my first time dealing with body horror.”

Bucky captured Tony’s fingers in his and brought Tony’s knuckles to his lips. “Okay, but I’m going to be on the look out for any signs of distress.” He kissed Tony’s knuckles. “You can also just tell me if it really starts to bother you.”

Tony fluttered his eyelashes at Bucky in an exaggerated manner. “Oh be still my beating heart. You really know how to make a guy feel special.”

Bucky smirked. He trailed his mouth up Tony’s arm, kissing patches of skin all the way up to Tony’s shoulder and neck.

Tony laughed, the kisses tickling him. He weakly tried to pull away but Bucky was insistent on kissing every in of Tony’s neck. “Oh please, don’t ever go back to not being handsy with me. I love this too much.”

Bucky kissed the corner of Tony’s mouth. “I have no intention of doing so.”

* * *

“And that’s when I knew I had to put the dunce cap on DUM-E,” Tony said.

“Understandable. DUM-E sounds very much like a child, and when children put themselves and others in danger we need to address the issue and find ways to make it clear that the child should not repeat their action. However, what I would be concerned about is the emotional impact of having been forced to wear something demeaning and thus making him the target of his peers. You said you had two other AIs, correct?”

Tony struggled with his amusement and awe as he listened to his therapist. It usually took someone meeting and playing with DUM-E for the person to realize that DUM-E was more than a machine. To have Dr. Han acknowledge DUM-E’s intelligence while simultaneously reprimanding Tony (albeit lightly) for his treatment of the bot pleased Tony.

“JARVIS would never bully DUM-E, and YOU is more likely to poke and prod at DUM-E until they can run off and cause trouble when I’m not looking. Plus, I think DUM-E likes the hat. He only acts like he doesn’t when I acknowledge what it stands for, and even then I think he’s just playing with me.”

“I will defer to your judgment since I have no personal experience with AIs, and based on how you have talked about your family of AIs before, it sounds like you care for them deeply.”

Tony huffed and feigned apathy. “They’re just robots.”

Dr. Han smiled. “I’m sure.” She glanced at her clock. “I believe that ends today’s session, Mr. Stark. We can set up another appointment if you like, but as of today you are no longer required to attend any more sessions with me.”

Tony sat up straighter. “When did that happen?” Fury had said Tony only needed to attend a few sessions, but there had been no exact number given. He didn’t think there was one.

Dr. Han reached across her desk and typed something on her keyboard. “After our last session, I informed Director Fury that you were mentally fit for battle and recommended that you be given SHIELD’s backing should you the need arise. A few days ago your status on SHIELD’s records was officially changed back to approved for battle. I also have an email from Fury stating that after this session you would receive SHIELD’s support again. I can send you a copy if you would like.”

Tony nodded numbly. He was shocked. Happy, but shocked. He’d expected his therapy sessions to be dragged out longer, or at the very least he wouldn’t be allowed to leave them until he talked about his breakdown. “He doesn’t care that we never talked about the whole suicide thing?”

Dr. Han sat up straight, looking offended. “Mr. Stark, I know it may be hard to believe since SHIELD is a spy organization, but there is something known as patient confidentiality. Fury has no idea what we have talked about in these sessions, and he will continue not to know.”

“But aren’t you worried that I might slip up and try to harm myself again?”

“There is always that concern, Mr. Stark, and I would personally recommend more sessions to prevent that from happening in the future. However, we have had many sessions together now, and you haven’t shown any signs of a relapse. It would be unethical for me to require that you continue our sessions.”

“You do realize who you’re talking to, right? Tony Stark? I could have an entire book on psychology written about me and my issues.”

“Issues that everyone has, Mr. Stark. There isn’t a person on this planet who doesn’t suffer from something psychological. Some people feel they need the help of those in my profession, and some feel more comfortable with reaching out to friends and family. That is now you choice, Mr. Stark, and I support whatever decision you make.”

Tony opened his mouth to question Dr. Han further, but then thought better of it. This is what he had wanted: to get in and out of these therapy requirements as fast as he possibly could. Instead of talking himself back into therapy he should not question Dr. Han’s decision and just leave already.

Tony stood, straightening down his suit jacket. “Than I guess this is goodbye. Might see you around, but probably not. Bye.” Tony waved curtly as he exited the room.

As he shut the door behind him, Tony wondered if Dr. Han would have been so quick to release him if he had mentioned the whole werewolf thing.

Tony shrugged.

Oh well. He was free now, and the team and him had agreed until he could figure out what was going on with him, not to involve SHIELD, so really, what else could he do, but swagger out of SHIELD with the biggest smile on his face.

* * *

“Wow! I knew based off what you were saying things were getting better, but the numbers are a lot more interesting than I would have thought.” Rhodey paced around Tony’s lab as he read through Tony’s notes. “You weren’t kidding about the quantity of time dropping by an hour each night then only dropping five minutes once you’d hit the two hour mark. It’s almost close to exact.”

Tony spun around in his swivel chair and placed his hand on one of his desks. “That’s not all. FRIDAY pull up the injection files.”

The files popped up in holograph form and Tony pulled two from the front. “Once I’d hit the five minute drop, I decided to play around with some variables. As you can see here the amount of Werewolf Begone doesn’t affect the drop rate or even the brain. Whatever is causing my transformation time to shorten isn’t our little cure.”

“So then it’s a natural development?” Rhodey asked.

“That’s what I’m theorizing. I’ve noticed that I can have a lower dose of morphine now too. Whatever the gemstone did to me, it appears my body is adapting to it.”

“But,” Rhodey gestured to the charts on his tablet, “according to this, if things continue this way, you only have about a week or two left of these transformations, which I have hard time believing. HYDRA was only using a fraction of the gem’s power to make werewolves, and until you made a cure it was pretty permanent.”

Tony nodded. “You’re right. It doesn’t, which is why I’m wondering if perhaps something else is going on that we aren’t seeing. Something,” Tony could just taste the bile that wanted to rise in his throat at what he was about to say, “a little more mystical.”

Rhodey was silent for a moment.

“Who are you and what have you done with the real Tony Stark?”

“Ha ha,” Tony said drily. “I’m not saying that there isn’t science involved in this mess, but you’ve seen the readings. We’re not picking up the same things we were with Steve, and we aren’t picking up any anomalies in my system—one of the reasons why I decided to lower my Werewolf Begone dosage—other than when I’m a werewolf and that’s because, well… I’m a werewolf. Point is, maybe there is something on a microscopic level or some energy level that our tools can’t pick up. It doesn’t really matter though, because until I can invent something to detect such things, I am seemingly getting better on my own. It’s possible but improbable.”

“So looking at this as a disease. The symptoms are going away, but the virus strand—or cancer or whatever we want to compare it to—is sticking around.”

“Which means the possibility or resurgence or even mutation.”

“You think mutation is a possibility?” Rhodey asked.

Tony shrugged. “There are too many unknowns to give a yes or no answer. However, if it is possible that my body is fighting off the gem’s power then it’s also possible that not only am I adapting to the gem’s power but that perhaps the power is adapting and mutating to exist within me. It would tie into Wanda and Vision have been saying about not being able to destroy power and the gemstone’s power transferring to me.”

Rhodey massaged his temples. “This makes no sense and is giving me a headache. Let’s just get coffee and talk about something other than this.”

“Can I bring Bucky? He doesn’t go outside enough.”

“I think you’re partially to blame for that.”

Tony stuck out his tongue. “You’re just jealous because I have a hot boyfriend and you don’t.”

“Bucky’s your boyfriend? I thought you two were just fuck buddies.”

 _Crap_. Tony had slipped up. “There’s been no official discussion about titles, but he’s started moving more of his stuff into the penthouse, and we’ve been carpooling to therapy whenever we can. We also go out for ice cream after therapy.”

“Okay,” Rhodey said. “Some of that sounds very serious and some of that sounds very casual.”

“We wear each other’s clothes. Actually I wear his mostly. He doesn’t like suits, but I’ve noticed a lot of my underwear has ended up on him, and sometimes he’ll wear one of my band shirts.”

“I’ve noticed that, but Tony, I don’t think you need me to tell you the importance of verbally confirming that you two are more than fuck buddies.”

Tony grimaced. Yeah, Tony during his younger years had had quite few relationships where such talks hadn’t happened. There had been times when Tony had gotten burned because he’d thought the relationship was a lot more serious and then there were times when he ended up being the one confused and feeling cornered because he hadn’t known the other person had thought they were more than just casual.

Tony waved away the files he’d had FRIDAY pull up. “There might have also been a bit of a love confession, but not a full blown one.”

“What to you mean by that?”

“You know.” Tony gesticulated. “More of a ‘hey, I’m not in love with you yet, but I’m probably going to be in love with you’ confession.”

Rhodey scrunched up his face.

“It was romantic,” Tony defended himself. “He quoted Han Solo.”

“Oh god.” Rhodey shook his head. “You’re doomed. Let me call the wedding planner.”

“I am not doomed.”

“You are, and you don’t even know it.”

Tony stood up. “You know what? I don’t have to take this from you. I’m going to go get coffee.”

“Yeah, with Bucky.” Rhodey blew Tony a kiss.

“Shut up!”

“Bucky and Tony sitting in a tree~”

“What are you? Five?”

“Right now? Hell yes!”

* * *

Tony yelped as he rolled out of the way of… Tony wasn’t even sure what he and the Avengers were fighting. It was some tentacle monster that was able to split itself into smaller forms. Honestly, it was like fighting Blue Jello with tentacles.

Tentacles that apparently could melt through his armor, which was why Tony was currently dressed in only chunks of his suit.

“Uh, FRIDAY, spare suit, please?”

“I’m trying, Boss, but it appears that the creatures are able to communicate through great distances in some manner. Every time I get a suit close to you, one of them blocks my path and stops me.”

One of the blue jellies slashed out at him with a tentacle.

Tony jumped out of the way and grabbed a garbage can lid.

“I could really use some back up here,” Tony said over the comms.

“You and me both,” Rhodey responded.

“Don’t forget me,” Sam added. “These guys seem to really like metal. They keep going after my wings.”

“Bucky?” Tony asked, letting his worry leak through.

“There’s something orange in the center of them,” Bucky said. “It’s small, but after hitting it a few times the punk slowed down. Looks like it’s absorbing the bullets though.”

Tony breathed in a sigh of relief for Bucky then dodged out of the way of another attack.

He ran for the fire escape on of the buildings and jumped onto it. “Okay. Still need back up. I have no repulsors. Assholes went for my gauntlets first, and they took out the rest of my weapons too.”

Clint grumbled. “Electric arrows seem to stop them. I’ll be right over, Tony.”

“Widow Bites work,” Natasha said.

“Ripping them apart only makes more,” Wanda said.

“Try crushing the orange spot,” Steve instructed Wanda.

“I believe the creatures have taken a fancy to me,” Vision said.

“Vision! You better not be letting them absorb you or whatever it is they are doing,” Tony shouted as he climbed up the fire escape.

“They tried to, but while they seem to favor me, they do not wish to feed on me.”

“Feed?” Steve asked.

“Vision’s right,” Wanda chipped in. “I can sense that they are hungry. They want to eat metal.”

“I intrigue them,” Vision said.

“Vision, I swear if you’re letting them run their tentacles all over you—“ Tony cut himself off as he swung himself off of the fire escape onto the roof. He took a deep breath.

In the distance he could see Clint bounding across rooftops to get to his location.

Tony grinned. “You’re a little late, Legolas. I already,” Tony yelped as something tugged on his ankle and yanked him to the ground.

He hissed as his chin hit the roof, but pushed the pain down and twisted so he could see what had grabbed him.

Two blue jellies had cozied up in the vent and were eroding the vent away, but had decided that they wanted what was left of Tony’s boot as well.

The jellies dragged him toward them.

“Oh no you don’t!” Tony kicked and tried to wiggle free.

A growl reverberated in his throat and without thinking he swiped at the tentacles.

The tentacles fell apart like he’d taken a knife to them.

A high pitch sound came from the jellies.

Tony barely had time to recover before an electric arrow landed inside the vent and shocked the two blue creatures. The creatures turned gray before melting into a pile of mush.

Tony moved to cover his mouth as their sour smell filled his nostrils and teased his tongue with their foul taste, but he stopped short.

Clint skidded to a halt behind Tony. “Whoo! Got here just in time. No need to thank me for saving your ass. You okay?”

Tony flexed his fingers.

“Tony?” Clint asked.

Tony held up his fingers, showing off his claws.


	23. Chapter 23

Tony curled his fingers inward, keeping a look out for his claws that had long since sheathed themselves back into his fingers. He paid no attention to the debriefing going on around him as he flicked out his fingers.

No claws.

Tony frowned and tried again, concentrating extra hard on producing his claws.

It still didn’t work.

Tony curled his fingers inward again.

“BOO!” Bucky launched himself at Tony, grabbing Tony by the shoulders.

Tony screamed and fell out of his chair.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Tony clutched his heart and gaped at Bucky. “How many god damn times do I have to remind you that I am old and have a heart condition? Fuck,” he gasped. “I think I just lost five years off my life.”

Something pricked his chest. Tony looked down at the hand he had over his heart.

Claws.

“Okay.” Tony raised his hand and examined the claws. “Maybe I spoke too soon. Still, five years minimum.”

“Uh, Tony, you may want to check out your wannabe boyfriend,” Rhodey said.

Tony looked around the room and saw all eyes were focused on Bucky.

Tony looked up and saw the Soldier in Bucky’s place.

Tony took a moment to collect himself and come up with a strategy. This was the first time Tony had seen the Soldier during the day since his first experience as a werewolf. It made Tony wary, but he’d also been around the Soldier now enough to not panic.

“So,” Tony began. “Are you visiting because your other half scared the living daylights out of me or because of the claws? I really need to know for the sake of future reference.”

The Soldier glanced at Tony, but he watched Fury from the corner of his eyes.

Tony followed the Soldier’s gaze. He scowled when he saw Fury had a hand on his gun. “Move your hand away from the gun, Patches. He’s not going to do anything unless you make a move against us.”

“’Us?’” Fury repeated, hand still hovering over his gun.

“Yeah, ‘Us.’ Or did you not get the memo that soldier boy here and I are a team?”

The Soldier snorted incredulity. “The wolf and I are partners. You and I are only partners through bond.”

Natasha and Steve tensed in their spots.

Clint reached out and touched Natasha’s elbow while watching the Soldier warily.

Vision and Wanda were intrigued while Sam and Rhodey were confused by the new information.

Tony frowned. He had feeling he knew what the Soldier was getting at, but he couldn’t quite accept what his brain had pieced together.

The Soldier huffed, looking rather annoyed. “I won’t hurt him,” he said to the room.

“Great to know,” Fury said. “Forgive me if I don’t take the word of the man who tried to kill me.”

“Don’t take it personally,” the Soldier stated.

Tony gaped. “The sass is strong with this one.”

Fury sent Tony a nasty look. He refocused on the Soldier. “My understanding is you can disappear when you want. Well, right now we need the other guy. Tony is safe, but we need Bucky’s intel on what happened out on the field today.”

Protectiveness swelled in Tony’s chest. He pushed himself off the floor and between the Soldier and Fury. “Don’t tell him when to leave.”

Fury raised an eyebrow at Tony, sending the very clear message of: “Did you really just back talk me?”

The Soldier appeared equally surprised.

Tony frowned, also thrown by his own actions. He couldn’t really put into words why he didn’t like Fury telling the Soldier to leave, especially when he knew it would be better for Bucky if the Soldier retreated. Nonetheless, Fury’s command didn’t sit right with Tony.

“So is anyone else going to point out the new furry appendages on Tony’s head?” Clint asked.

Tony startled. He cocked his head back to try and see what Clint was talking about, but the problem with something being on top of his head was that the thing was on his head; he couldn’t see it.

The Soldier stood up and reached for the thing on Tony’s head.

Tony winced as the Soldier tugged whatever it was down.

Even with the Soldier's help Tony couldn’t see much, but he saw enough of the appendage to recognize it as a wolf’s ear.

“I’ve become a furry,” Tony stated.

The Soldier released Tony’s wolf ear.

Rhodey shook his head. “This shit just keeps getting weirder and weirder.”

Sam nodded. “Tell me about it.”

Fury shook his head. “This debriefing is getting out of hand.”

“Like always,” Sam said.

Fury hit Sam with a warning look.

Steve bit the inside of his cheek to keep from snickering, but Tony caught the sparkle in Steve’s eye that gave away his amusement. Steve hated leading debriefing meetings, so everyone knew he took a tiny bit of sadistic pleasure out of it when Fury was the one in charge of debriefing. Granted, it usually led to Fury turning to Steve and ordering Steve to take better command of his team, but for those few glorious moments in which only Fury suffered a headache, Steve was very content and happy.

“Do we really need to debrief what happened? Science experiment gone wrong. Blue sentient Jell-o with tentacles and a penchant for eating metal. We kicked ass. Got a few samples. SHIELD Scientists are studying the samples right now while agents are looking into who our mad scientist of the week is. Does this sound about right?” Tony asked.

“You skipped over the fact that you are apparently a furry, and your entire team decided to keep this from me.” Fury glared at everyone in the room.

“Hey, my lifestyle choices and sexual exploits are none of your business,” Tony said.

Rhodey covered his mouth with his fist while Clint faked chewing on a nail to avoid laughing.

“Cute,” Fury said with a little head nod. “Perhaps I should have used a different word? How about ‘werewolf’?”

“We wanted to find out as much as we could about Tony’s condition before telling you,” Steve rushed to Tony’s defense.

“I have hundreds of scientists and dozens of labs. The resources I could have given you would have helped you get more answers by now.” Fury’ tone brittle and filled with anger.

“And Tony preferred to keep his condition a secret anyway, and since Tony proved that after his initial transformation he was able to retain his sense of self while a werewolf, I deemed that no one was in danger and that he had the right to privacy. Especially since he would be and has been conducting his own research.”

“And what about our buddy over there?” Fury cocked his head at the Soldier.

“He’s been a perfect gentleman,” Tony snapped. “He’s been taking care of me every night I’ve transformed.” Tony felt his wolf ears press down low to his head and his claws twitch.

Fury kept quiet, but he scrutinized the Soldier and Tony.

“The Soldier has only demonstrated hostility when Tony has been in danger,” Natasha stated, breaking the silence. “While monitoring him, I also noticed that he is quite affectionate and protective of Tony. While I cannot vouch that he is an ally of SHIELD or the Avengers, based off my observations he is loyal to Tony. Admittedly more so to the wolf than Tony, based on what he said moments ago.”

Some of the anger evaporated from Fury at Natasha’s words. He wasn’t happy, but he’d gone from thunderous storm cloud to gray cloud passing by. “All right. I cannot change what has happened. That being said, I want a full report from you, Tony, about what you’ve learned so far.”

“Like hell,” Tony said. “I don’t want all of your agents knowing I’m a werewolf or whatever the hell I am now. All you need to know is that I have this under control.”

Fury stared pointedly at Tony’s claws. “I highly doubt that.”

Tony huffed. “I have most of it handled. This is just a new development. Clearly the moon gemstone’s powers are manifesting themselves differently in me than they did Steve.” Tony smirked. “What can I say? I’m a special snowflake.”

“You’re something all right,” Wanda quipped.

Tony’s claws sheathed.

“Oh!” Tony raised his hand to examine his clawless fingers. “Hmm. I wonder if it’s set on a timer right now or if it’s an emotional thing?”

“That is not very reassuring,” Fury grumbled.

“Just be happy I haven’t grown an extra meter and sprouted a bunch of fur. Also, can someone get me a hat or hoodie? As I said, I rather keep these things a secret.” Tony tugged on the tips of his ears. “Ow! Okay, more sensitive than I thought.”

Fury closed his eyes and took a deep, frustrated breath. “This debriefing is going nowhere. Everyone just fill out the proper forms and get them to me in forty-eight hours. Dismissed.”

Fury marched toward the door and was the first one to exit.

“I really hope he is getting me a hat,” Tony said.

Natasha rolled her eyes and stood up. Clint mimicked her movements.

“I gotta say, I’m still stunned by the ears and claws,” Clint commented. “Although, I do prefer them to your former appearance.”

“It doesn’t hurt at all?” Steve asked, worry in his tone. “Growing the claws or ears?”

“No,” Tony answered. “Feels very natural, but I’ve been noticing with each transformation that the pain has been less and less. I stopped using morphine last night. Everything still ached, but it was more like the kind of pain you get from overexerting yourself during a workout.”

“Fascinating.” Vision approached Tony. He circled around Tony as he examined him.

The Soldier pressed closer to Tony, his hand going to the knife at his hip as he watched Vision.

“Careful, Vision,” Wanda warned, her eyes glowing red as she monitored the Soldier.

Vision put some space between him and Tony.

“So what is the working theory?” Rhodey asked.

Tony shrugged. “Less theory and more question. If there is some sort of adaptation or mutation going on and this is the next stage or final product of the gemstone’s power manifesting within my body, does this mean that tonight I am not going to go through a full transformation? It seems like the powers are changing so I will be allowed to control the transformation and do a partial one whenever I want. Or at the least that’s what I’m guessing since we’re pretty much back to square one when it comes to data.”

“But this is good, right?” Sam asked. “If you can control when you shift then you're a real power house now. You might not even need the suit.”

“Don’t speak blasphemy. Also, I am still waiting on the hat.”

“I’ll get the hat.” Natasha headed for the door.

“Steve, no, stop her. She’ll pick out something ironic and witty. I don’t want anything that will draw attention.”

“Sorry.” Steve smiled in that special way that made it clear he possessed no remorse at all. “I can’t control Natasha outside of battle.”

Tony turned pleading eyes on the Soldier. “Save me?”

The Soldier cocked his head.

Tony sighed and turned away. “You’re no help. I’m doomed to—“ Tony yelped as the Soldier seized the collar of Tony’s shirt and hoisted the back end of Tony ‘s shirt over his head, effectively covering Tony’s wolf ears and causing Tony to relive traumatic childhood moments of bullying.

“Oh god, I swear if you give me a swirly I will make your life a living Hell.”

Tony yelped again as he was scooped up into the Soldier’s arms and carried out of the room.

“You know, I love the manhandling and the princess carry, but even I’m finding this a little much.”

Clint whistled appreciatively at Tony and the Soldier as they left. “That’s right, Winter, you show your sentinel whose boss.”

“Well,” Tony nodded his head from side to side, “sounds like your deemed safe by Clint. That’s how Wanda got on the team, so I guess that means you’re no longer a threat to the Avengers.”

The Soldier didn’t say anything.

* * *

“You never answered my question.” Tony frowned at his reflection and smoothed his hands over his head. His wolf ears were gone and he couldn’t feel any traces of them on his skull. No slits, no bumps, nothing.

Tony heard the Soldier pour himself a glass of water from the kitchen.

Tony paused at that. Over the last few weeks, he’d noticed that at first the Soldier only rummaged through Tony’s things when Tony needed something, but recently the Soldier had grown comfortable fetching himself food and water.

“I think there is chocolate cake in the fridge,” Tony hollered. “Help yourself.”

The Soldier appeared from the kitchen with a cup of water. He sipped the beverage as he watched Tony poke at his skull.

Tony huffed, giving up on his search for any traces of his wolf ears. “So did you show up because Bucky scared me or because of the claws? Because unless you only showed up for a few seconds, no one said anything about you making an appearance on the field when my claws first showed up.”

The Soldier didn’t say anything.

Tony groaned like a petulant child. “C’mon. I just want to know for my research. I need to know if trying to use my new claws will summon you or not. It’s not fair to Bucky if I’m constantly shoving down his consciousness and bringing out yours.”

The corner of the Soldier’s mouth twitched. He quickly gulped down a mouthful of water.

“You just thought of something,” Tony accused. “There is something you know that you are not telling me.”

The Soldier scowled.

Tony smirked. “I’m right, aren’t I? Share with the class.” Tony gesticulated, excited to get a hold of new information. He’d been in the dark for so long, it would be wonderful to know something factual.

The Soldier pinned Tony with a stare. “You always choose him.”

That was not the phrase Tony had expected to hear, not even remotely close.

Tony floundered for a second as he reorganized his thoughts. “Are you complaining to me about Bucky?”

“No. I’m complaining about you.”

Tony mentally flinched at the comeback. On the one hand, he felt pride for the Soldier. Whatever programming that had been a part of him must be weakening, because Tony couldn’t imagine that HYDRA would have allowed for the Soldier to speak in such a manner. On the other hand, Tony was pissed.

“What have I done besides be a cuddly werewolf around you? Also, did you not just see me defend you to Fury?”

The Soldier glared.

“Say something,” Tony demanded.

“You pick him.”

“Bucky’s my—“ Tony almost said boyfriend. “He’s my fuck buddy with whom I share special feelings for. He’s also scared shitless about what you are going to do when you’re free, so I think I’m in the right to take his side.”

The Soldier sneered, turning his head away from Tony. He clenched his fist. “Same question.”

“What?” Tony asked.

“What have I done?” the Soldier clarified.

_“He’s been a perfect gentleman. He’s been taking care of me every night I’ve transformed.”_

Guilt chomped onto Tony like a pitbull.

“Okay, you have one point there,” Tony admitted. “But your past—”

The Soldier turned his venomous gaze on Tony.

Tony shut his mouth. He took another moment to process the situation. The Soldier had been good so far. Perhaps a tad morally ambiguous, but good. He, like Bucky, had also been HYDRA’s weapon. The difference was, the Soldier had been aware of what he was doing while Bucky hadn’t.

But then again, how much awareness could a person have when their memory was being erased time and time again, and they put through physical abuse almost every day they were conscious?

Tony had never stopped to consider it before, but perhaps the Soldier was also victim of HYDRA? The Soldier had been a blank slate that HYDRA had crafted then turned into a weapon.

Had the Soldier even taken any joy out killing his victims or had he just been essentially a child given a gun and told by those in a power of authority to shoot?

If asked months ago, Tony wouldn’t have consider the Soldier to be a victim, but now that he was thinking about it he couldn’t help but wonder of that first impression was wrong.

“You’re my partner,” the Soldier stated. “We’re supposed to be allies.”

Tony nodded, understanding dawning on him. “And a real partner wouldn’t force you to lock yourself away.”

Tony winced as an image of the Soldier’s cryo-chamber came to mind.

He questioned if the Soldier saw Tony’s banishment of him as the same thing as HYDRA storing him away until he was needed again.

“You’re right,” Tony said. “Bucky is my partner, but you are too, and I haven’t been fair to you. However, this is not an easy fix-it. I can avoid sending you away as quickly as I have before, but Bucky still doesn’t trust you yet, and considering what happened for seventy years while you were in control, I can’t blame him.”

The Soldier frowned, the expression actually a positive sign considering he’d looked ready to punch a wall not long ago.

“I’m not going to argue whether or not you were forced to murder people for all those years, or if you didn’t have the mental capacity to realize what it was you were doing. The only person who knows that is you, and there’s no way for either of us to prove or disprove what was going on in your head then. I’m willing to focus on the present, and help Bucky overcome any remaining reservations he has about you, but you have to be patient. That could mean months or years of building trust.”

“You’re still taking his side.”

“But you’re not afraid of him,” Tony said. “See that is the difference, and why I am taking his side right now, because he’s _scared_ , whereas you’re annoyed.” Tony paused, not sure if he should say what was on the tip of his tongue. “...and hurt, but that’s because of me, not him.

The Soldier once again was silent. He took another sip of water but kept a watchful eye on Tony.

“You can sense my emotions; you know I’m not lying.”

“You’re not, but why are you not?”

“Because I want peace. After all of the shit I have been through with this sentinel-guide bull shit, I want peace. I want peace for myself and for Bucky. And I want it for you now too. The only way all of us are going to exist peacefully is to act like adults and be patient and communicate with each other.” Tony scowled. “God, I hate acting like an adult. I hate this whole conversation.”

The Soldier snorted in amusement.

The sound made Tony smile. “So can you work with me here or not?”

The Soldier eyed Tony.

There was a tense moment between them.

The Soldier closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, Bucky was there.

Bucky blinked, taking in his new surroundings. He grimaced. “He took over again, didn’t he?”

Tony nodded and strode up to Bucky. He wrapped his arm around Bucky and hugged him. “Yeah, but he was good.” Tony rubbed a comforting hand up and down Bucky’s back. “He’s been doing good.”

“I guess that’s what I get for scaring ya. I was just trying to help you with the claws. I could tell you were trying to get them to come out.”

“Yeah, thanks a lot you jerk.” Tony squeezed Bucky even tighter. “It gave me a chance to have an interesting conversation with the Soldier.”

“And what did he say?”

Tony leaned back and kissed Bucky’s cheek. “I’ll tell you tomorrow. You’re always frazzled after he comes out. Don’t worry though. It was good, nothing bad.”

Bucky slumped against Tony. He pressed his forehead against Tony’s and held on tight.

They stood there in silence for a minute, drawing comfort and strength from each other.

“It’s night time.” Bucky cocked his chin at the window. “Did I miss your transformation?”

Tony shook his head. He looked down at his hands, half-expecting to see claws again, but satisfied when all he saw were his regular fingers and nails. “Looks like things are changing.”


	24. Chapter 24

“Oh god, why did I agree to this?” Tony whined as Bucky pinned him to the mat.

Bucky huffed, sweat dripping down his brow. He patted Tony’s leg, which was hooked over Bucky’s shoulder. “C’mon, you got a good position here. Use your leg and weight to roll us over, or-” Bucky reached down and touched Tony’s other leg, which was located between Bucky’s legs“-use this one to knee me.”

“I’m not going to knee you down there.” Tony was horrified. “One, I know the pain of getting kneed in the crotch, and second, I wouldn’t dare damage those goods.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I thought you said you wanted to practice yourself defense?”

“Actually, I wanted to see if my claws would come out automatically when sparring or if it’s only a fear reflex right now.”

“Uh-huh.” Bucky patted the leg over his shoulder again. “So are you going to flip us over already, or are you just going to lie there?”

Tony made his eyes go half lidded. “I don’t know. I kind of like it down here now. Although…” Tony looped his leg around Bucky’s neck and used his weight to lower Bucky’s head down a few inches. “I wouldn’t mind a little more proximity.”

Bucky smirked. “Tempting, but last time we had sex in the gym someone turned the sprinklers on us.”

Tony threw his head back and groaned in aggravation. He released Bucky. “Don’t remind me.”

Bucky sat up on his knees and offered a hand to Tony. “Let’s go back to sparring. We can fool around later. Maybe in the shower.”

“Yes!” Tony pumped his fist in the air. “Shower sex.” Tony pushed himself up on his elbows and winced. His back was sore from hitting the mat several times already. He batted away the hand Bucky offered him. “Think I still need to lie down some more. Grab my water bottle for me?”

Bucky nodded and fetched Tony’s water bottle for him.

Tony watched Bucky as his partner crossed the gym to get the bottle. Tony paid attention to Bucky’s movements, posture, and breathing. All signs said he was content and relaxed, which had been Tony’s real goal when he’d asked for Bucky to spar with him. He needed to broach the Winter Soldier topic, but he wanted to do it when Bucky would have an open mind.

Bucky came back with the water bottle and held it out to Tony.

Tony grumbled as he forced himself into a cross-legged pose and took the water. He swallowed a swig of it before recapping the bottle. “So you up for talking about what the Soldier said last night?”

“Sure.” Bucky tried to act nonchalant, but Tony hadn’t missed the slight stiffening in Bucky’s muscles. Bucky dropped to the floor so he was seated across from Tony. He plucked the water bottle from Tony’s grasp and stole a gulp of water from it before saying, “What’d he say?”

“He basically feels like the ugly step-child in our relationship.”

Bucky stopped in the middle of taking a second sip. He frowned and lowered the bottle to his lap. “I don’t understand.”

“He doesn’t like that I have a preference for you when he’s also my partner.”

“He’s not though,” Bucky said. “We’re partners.” Bucky gestured between him and Tony. “You and the Soldier are not.”

“Except we are. The bond I have with you is the same bond I share with him.” Tony internally cringed, expecting the worst reaction from Bucky. “Like it or not, the Soldier and I are partners.”

Bucky bowed his and frowned, mulling over Tony’s words.

“I know you don’t want to hear that.”

Bucky huffed. “Damn right I don’t, but I can’t really deny it either.”

Tony kept quiet, allowing Bucky time to think and process the information.

“So besides just letting me know for the sake of knowing, why tell me that he’s…” Bucky frowned. “…jealous?” Bucky’s voice took on a disbelieving tone. “I didn’t even think he could get jealous.”

“He can, and he is,” Tony stated. “Or at least, he doesn’t like that I send him away.”

“It’s my body though. He doesn’t have the right to be in control.”

Except from the Soldier’s perspective it was his body too.

Tony wasn’t sure Bucky could handle hearing that though, so he kept that thought silent. “I don’t blame you for feeling that way.”

“Is he trying to take over my body more?” Bucky asked, horrified.

“I’m not sure. I think he just doesn’t want me shooing him away. He wants to feel like he has the same kind of partnership with me as I do with you. He didn’t say anything about wanting to be in control more.”

“But that’s implied if he said he doesn’t want you shooing him away.”

Tony grimaced. “Is it though?”

“Tony,” Bucky said his name full of incredulity. “You’re trying to defend a man who killed dozens of people.”

“I’m not defending him,” Tony rebuked.

Bucky’s heartbeat was racing and his blood was pumping so loud that it was almost deafening to Tony’s ears.

Tony held up his hands and rose to his feet. “You know what?” Tony back pedaled two steps. “Forget I said anything. I knew I was stepping on a landmine when I brought this up, but I promised the Soldier I would talk to you. I did, it didn’t go well, and now I think it’s just best for everyone if I go down to the lab and—”

“No.” Bucky launched up. He reached out as if to grab Tony but stopped himself. He clenched his fist. “The Soldier…” Bucky gritted his teeth. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “The Soldier is not an easy topic for me to discuss.” Bucky’s gaze drifted to Tony’s hands.

Bucky cursed and scooped up one of Tony’s hands and cupped it.

Tony’s claws hand come out.

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand. “I know you’re not trying hurt me, Tony. I’d know that even without the empathic abilities. Just… I’ve been in therapy for years now, talking about the stuff I—he—we did for HYDRA. And I know he’s been out a lot more recently and that he hasn’t harmed anyone, but he is my nightmare. So even though I know logically that maybe he is not the monster I believe him to be or that HYDRA made him, I am not in the emotional place to accept that.”

“I’m not asking you to be,” Tony said. “And I don’t expect you to be. And if you want me to, I will keep shooing him away whenever he makes an appearance, but I don’t want you unaware either.”

Bucky sucked in a large amount of air and released it. He sagged. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

A sorrowful smile crossed Bucky’s features. “Sorry about that. You probably didn’t want to see me like that.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Scared and freaking out.”

Tony hugged Bucky and patted him on the back, mindful of the claws that were still out. “Bucky, we’ve seen each other in some shitty situations. While I don’t want you to be scared, I’m not going to be upset at you for being afraid. I’d be too if I were you.”

Bucky scoff. “Tony, you transformed into a werewolf and barely freaked out.”

“Shove my head into a bucket of water and I’ll freak out.”

“What kind of asshole do you take me for? I wouldn’t do that.”

Tony winked at Bucky. “And that’s one of the reasons I like you.” Tony kissed Bucky on the cheek.

“‘Like me?’” Bucky said teasingly.

“Maybe more than like,” Tony said coyly.

Bucky’s hand went to Tony’s waist, pulling Tony in close to him. “How much more?”

Maybe it was Bucky’s warm breath ghosting along his lips or the way his eyes shined. Maybe it was leftover adrenaline from their borderline fight? Or perhaps Tony had just finally lost his mind, because he let slip: “Enough to want to be your boyfriend.”

Tony barely had any time to panic about letting the B-word slip. Bucky closed the distance between their lips and kissed him tenderly.

When Bucky pulled away, Tony was sad to lose the contact.

“Good, because I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend either.”

“Yeah?” Tony asked.

Bucky kissed him again, soft and brief. “Yeah.”

Tony chuckled. “We really know when to pick these relationship milestones. Sex buddies right after my mental breakdown. Sort of almost love confessions after I became a werewolf, and now boyfriends.” Tony leaned into Bucky and pecked him. “Are you going to ask me to marry you when were on a ship being overrun by pirates while some giant monster tries to destroy said ship?”

“Just for you, I’ll do it in space,” Bucky said.

Tony’s heart skipped a beat. “I think I almost swooned.”

* * *

“Shit,” Tony hissed and tried to jump away from the cup of coffee he’d dropped. He cussed when the cup hit the ground and splashed the ankle of his pants with hot coffee.

“Careful.” Bucky grabbed Tony’s shoulder to steady him.

Rhodey cursed under his breath and snatched a handful of napkins from the dispenser and tossed them on the ground where Tony’s coffee was spilling.

One of the barista’s scrambled to the back of the shop, shouting something about getting a mop.

Bucky plucked another handful of napkins out of the dispenser and wiped at Tony’s hand. Tony noted that the gesture also made it so Bucky was covering Tony’s claws.

Bucky looked pointedly down at Tony’s other hand.

Without looking, Tony knew that his claws had come out on his other hand too, so he stuffed it into his pocket.

The barista who’d gone to the back of the shop returned with a mop and wet floor sign.

“Sorry about that,” Rhodey apologized to the barista on Tony’s behalf.

The barista waved off his apology. “It happens.” The barista’s attention turned to Tony.

Tony stiffened. He was wearing a hoodie, sunglasses, and he hadn’t styled his goatee today so he’d be less recognizable on his coffee date. Bucky was in a similar disguise, plus a baseball cap. They shouldn’t be recognizable, but since the piggyback ride through New York they both had been getting a lot more attention than usual when outside the tower.

“Do you need medical attention?” The barista asked Tony.

Tony shook his head. “I’d ask for another coffee, but I’d hate to risk a repeat of my clumsiness.”

“We'd be happy to get you another drink.”

“Thanks, but I’ll stick to solids for now,” Tony said.

“Let’s go grab a seat.” Bucky steered Tony toward an empty table.

“Anything we can do to help?” Rhodey asked the barista.

After reassurance that the barista had everything under control, Rhodey joined Tony and Bucky at a small table tucked away in the corner of room.

Rhodey slid his cup of coffee toward Tony, so it was between them. “I’ll share with you, but only if you promise not to drink it all.”

“I love you.” Tony made a kissing face at Rhodey.

Bucky squeezed Tony’s hand. “Don’t go around telling other people you love them when you have a boyfriend.”

Bucky kissed Tony on the cheek.

“Somebody’s jealous,” Tony teased and returned the kiss, feeling happier than he’d been moments before.

“I won’t deny it.”

Rhodey wrinkled his nose at them. “You’ve gone from sex-crazy to disgustingly cute couple in just a few weeks.” Rhodey shook his head at them. “How are the nails?”

Tony looked down at the hand Bucky was holding. His claws were still out. “Give me a minute. Now that I’m calm I can get rid of them.”

“Take your time,” Bucky encouraged.

“That’s progress,” Rhodey commented.

Tony nodded. “I can get them to come out now on command, but every now and then they pop out on their own.” Which was exactly what had happened. He’d picked up his cup of coffee and had just brought it to his lips to drink when his claws had come out and pierced the cup.

“Wish it was faster progress,” Tony mumbled.

His claws finally retreated.

Sighing in relief, Tony released Bucky’s hand and examined his own to make sure that he’d retracted his claws all the way. Sometimes he’d accidentally leave the tips out.

“How about other things?” Rhodey flicked his ear, indicating “other things” he was referring to.

“You want to tell him about the tail?” Bucky smirked at Tony.

“Tail?” Rhodey went wide-eyed.

Tony flushed and grabbed Rhodey’s coffee. He tried to hide his embarrassment behind the cup. “It was nothing.”

“The pink on your face says otherwise.” Rhodey grinned from ear to ear. “Tell me.”

“Bucky and I were just fooling around.”

“And Tony got so excited he sprouted a tail. Even wagged it excitedly.”

Rhodey muffled a snicker behind his hand. “That’s bad. Guess it must have ruined your night.”

Tony and Bucky shared a look.

Rhodey gaped. “You didn’t?”

“We were already in the mood,” Tony defended.

“Plus, no harm in experimenting with new things. I already liked the claws.” Bucky shrugged.

Rhodey’s eyes all but bulged out of his sockets. “Are you two being serious? That’s dangerous.”

“As long as Tony isn’t doing any fingering it’s fine. A few scratches on my back or thighs isn’t a problem.”

Rhodey groaned and covered his face. “I should have never asked. Brain bleach. I need brain bleach.”

“You really shouldn’t have,” Tony agreed. “And for once you can’t blame me for over sharing, because not only did I not say anything, but I discouraged you from asking.” Tony passed the coffee back to Rhodey.

Tony craned his head around and kissed the corner of Bucky’s mouth. “Troublemaker.”

“You enjoy it.” Bucky squeezed Tony’s thigh under the table.

Tony smiled at Bucky, but didn’t agree with the statement aloud.

“You two really are disgusting.”

“But we’re happy,” Tony cheered. “And you’re okay with that, right? I know you haven’t been too crazy about us being sentinel and guide since… _you know_ , but I it’s been a while now, and the two of us are a lot happier than we were before, and…”

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold up.” Rhodey raised his hand to silence Tony. “Is that what this date is about? Are you asking for my permission to date?”

“Not your permission,” Tony clarified.

“More like your approval,” Bucky said.

Rhodey looked between them. “Is Steve going to get one of these weird dates too?”

“Steve is on a full support kick since what happened,” Tony explained. “Even if he has some reservations, he’s going to keep his mouth shut unless what he has to say is positive. Plus, he’s always been team Bucky and Tony to some extent, but you…”

“Tony,” Rhodey cut him off. “I may question the timing a little bit, and I may still have some concerns when it comes to your sentinel and guide status, but when it comes to romance and sex, you pick your partners. And Bucky is not the worst.”

Bucky scrunched up his face. “I think that’s a compliment?”

Rhodey snorted. “Wait until you learn about all of his exes. You may not think it’s much of compliment when you realize what trash he’s dated.”

“Rhodey!”

“I kept my mouth shut while you were dating them. I get to trash talk them now.”

Tony held his hands. “Fine. A lot of them were trash.”

“Thank you for your honesty.”

“But I don’t want you to just be okay with Bucky because I’ve dated worse,” Tony said.

“Do you two talk about stuff? Not just Avenger stuff or about the latest episode of whatever you two watch. Do you talk about the serious stuff?”

“Yeah,” Tony answered.

“Good enough for me,” Rhodey said. “The attraction is obvious. You two get along a lot better now. Really all I could ask for is if you two communicate, since you both suck terribly at it.”

“We don’t suck,” Bucky and Tony said in unison.

“Denial.” Rhodey smiled.

“We don’t need to take this abuse.” Tony mockingly huffed. “Come on, Bucky. Let’s make out until he’s so uncomfortable he leaves.”

Bucky yanked Tony’s chair closer to his. “Let’s.”

“The two most disgusting people I know,” Rhodey mumbled into his coffee.

* * *

Tony stirred from sleep. Bucky’s arm was wrapped around his waist and Bucky was spooning him from behind. Tony made a contented sound and burrowed backwards into Bucky, enjoying the warmth and the physical contact.

He frowned.

Bucky felt a little off.

Tony grabbed the arm around his waist and hugged it to his chest. He threaded his fingers through Bucky’s and squeezed Bucky’s hand.

Bucky squeezed back, the action hesitant.

That wasn’t right.

Tony let go of Bucky and rolled over to face his boyfriend.

Bucky’s eyes were closed and his body was lax, but his brow was furrowed.

Tony touched the ridges of Bucky’s brow, trying to gently massage it back into relaxation.

Bucky scrunched his nose and pulled away from the contact.

Tony paused.

“Soldier?” Tony asked.

The Soldier opened his eyes.

“What are you doing out?” Tony asked.

The Soldier blinked up at Tony.

Tony tensed and examined the Soldier. “Did Bucky have a nightmare? Did his fear trigger you? What’s going on?” Tony’s hand went to the Soldier’s chest and roved over his body in search of anything that would indicate that Bucky might have been in pain or fear before the Soldier showed up.

The Soldier grabbed Tony’s hands and held his hands in the space between them.

For two seconds they stared at each other.

The Soldier tilted his head. “Your hair is longer.”

“What?” Tony took his hand from the Soldier and touched his hair, which had grown out so much he could make a ponytail. Tony sneered and looked down at his arms, which were covered in hair too. “Crap. It’s just been ears, tail, and claws, so far. My body is probably working itself up to the point where I can do a full transformation by will. I really hope this stuff disappears and that I am not going to have to shave this every time.”

The Soldier reached out and played with a lock of hair. “It’s fluffy.”

Tony scowled. “It’s not, and you distracted me from my original question. So did the hair bring you out or is there another explanation?”

The Soldier tucked the strand of hair behind Tony’s ear. “I wanted to see my partner. Bucky was asleep.”

“Just because he’s asleep doesn’t mean you can come out.”

“You promised to talk to him.” The Soldier hit Tony with a hard look. “Did you?”

Tony sighed. “Yes, but you still scare the crap out of him. Heck, you still scare me a little.

The Soldier cupped Tony’s cheek. “I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“Thanks, but knowing something and believing it with every fiber of your being is different.” Tony lowered the Soldier’s hand from his face. “I told you this is going to be a long process.” Tony frowned. “Also, do you want to be out more or do you just not want me to always send you away right away?”

The Soldier made a confused and unhappy face. He glanced at the window in Tony’s bedroom and shook his head. “I don’t like this world, but I like…” The Soldier paused and pursed his lips in thought. “…I like our bond. It’s… frustrating, but nice.”

“So you’re not hoping to take over his life. You just want to spend time with me?” Tony asked.

The Soldier nodded. “Fighting is fine. I don’t mind fighting.” The Soldier scowled. “I don’t like grocery shopping.”

“What?” Tony jerked and sat up in bed just a tad. He shook his head. “You know what? I’m not even going to ask how you know you dislike grocery shopping. It’s probably an interesting but horrific story that doesn’t end well for someone.”

The Soldier nodded.

“I know you don’t want me to, but I am going to have ask you to leave soon. Even if Bucky is sleeping. Until he’s okay with it, I can’t encourage you to be around.”

The Soldier frowned. He slid closer to Tony and rested a hand on Tony’s hip. “Ten minutes?”

Tony bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to respect Bucky’s wishes, but at the same time he felt that he should compromise, if only to prove to the Soldier that he was trying to meet the Soldier halfway.

“Five.” Tony removed the Soldier’s hand from his hip. “Also, hands either at or above the waistline for you.”

* * *

Two weeks later and the good news was, Tony could control most of his shift—his body had yet to attempt a full werewolf shift since he’d begun his partial ones, but Tony predicted it wouldn’t be long before he’d go full werewolf again. The bad news: The Soldier was showing up more and more.

The Soldier only made short appearances and he was always nice to Tony, but Bucky had become more antsy.

He was always tense, and more than once Tony had caught Bucky spacing out then hurriedly checking his phone’s clock to make sure the Soldier hadn’t taken over while his mind had been wandering.

Tony wanted to say or do something to help Bucky, but he didn’t know what words to use or what actions would calm him. When Bucky asked about the Soldier, Tony was always honest with his report. Bucky was relieved when Tony would tell him the Soldier just followed Tony around for a few minutes and made casual conversation, but once that relief went away it was always replaced with befuddlement.

Tony couldn’t blame Bucky for his reaction. As Bucky himself had admitted, the Soldier was his worst nightmare. To hear that the monster who haunted his dreams was nothing more than a grumpy and brisk guard dog to his boyfriend couldn’t possibly mesh well with Bucky’s understanding of himself and the Soldier.

Bucky was trying to find answers to questions he had probably never considered before, and it wasn’t easy. That’s why Tony tried to hide his surprise and remain calm when Bucky asked him one day: “Has the Soldier ever made a move on you?”

“Made a move?” Tony had repeated at the time. He knew what Bucky was getting at, but he’d never expected such a question.

“Does he try to kiss you or anything like that?”

Tony had to pause before answering his question. “A forehead kiss or two, but nothing serious. Sometimes I have to remind him that he’s not allowed to touch my hips, but it never seems sexual when he does it anyway. I think…” Tony trailed off.

“You think what?” Bucky asked, worry eking into his voice.

“He’s never used the word, but I don’t even think he has the word in his vocabulary.” Tony delayed his response. “I think he may be asexual though.” Tony hurried to explain himself. “As I said, he’s never said anything, and I could be wrong, but I’ve never picked up on any sexual desire from him. I don’t even get pheromones off the guy, and we’ve been in some awkward “personal-bubble has been invaded” situations. Like him standing right behind me as I take something down from one of the cupboards. His dick was not interested then. Also no interest when I walked out of the shower that one time.”

“Asexual?” Bucky repeated.

Tony shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe he only likes women? I just know when it comes to me, there are no signs of sexual attraction.” Tony was not going to comment on romantic attraction. The Soldier’s mind was so different from Tony’s own, he wouldn’t even know if the Soldier could experience romance or if the Solider could only feel a deep affection or platonic love.

“Okay.” Bucky nodded. “Okay.” He nodded again and walked away.

It had been an interesting conversation, and one that Tony had mixed feelings about.

* * *

“You say he watches the news and talk shows?” Bucky asked.

Tony cringed as his jaw dislocated than relocated. He’d been practicing to grow his snout on command, and what he had learned was that it hurt like hell unless he transformed his whole face. “Yeah,” his voice came out rough.

Bucky leaned against the bathroom doorframe, meeting Tony’s eyes via the mirror. “What kind of talk shows?”

Tony raised his lip and poked at his fangs. “It varies. He doesn’t like anything with a lot of arguing. It gets him too tense and geared up to fight. I think he likes _Ellen_.”

Bucky nodded. He shoved himself off the doorframe, came up behind Tony, and pulled out a bottle of Advil from the bathroom drawer. “Take some. Your face is really hurting.” Bucky kissed Tony on the cheek.

“Thanks, babe.” Tony kissed Bucky back.

* * *

Tony lay sprawled on the floor and resting on his stomach. He swished his tail back and forth, enjoying how it loosened the muscles in his lower back.

At least there was one benefit to being a werewolf.

Bucky entered the living room in nothing but a towel. He was dripping wet from the shower. He glanced at Tony. “Does he listen to music?”

“He listens to what I play in my lab. I’ve offered to let him pick out a song or two, but he declines.”

Bucky nodded then started heading back toward the bedroom.

Tony sat up. “You know, you could always take off that towel and join me on the floor.” Tony patted the ground. “The carpet is nice and soft.”

“That’s not what you said when you got carpet burn last time.”

* * *

Tony had cut holes in the top of one his hoodies and was wearing it as Bucky and him strolled around the park and ate ice cream. His ears twitched whenever he picked up a strange noise. One girl complimented his ears for being so life-like and asked where he’d bought them. Tony had quickly lied and said that he’d made them himself.

Bucky licked his vanilla ice cream then paused. “Does he have a favorite food?”

“He doesn’t stay out long so I haven’t tested his palette, but I have seen him sneak a few potato chips here and there.”

* * *

Tony was in full werewolf form. He’d been practicing for weeks, but he’d finally gotten it down.

Bucky smiled at Tony.

Tony transformed back into his human form and scooped his boxers off the ground and put them back on. “Congratulations. You are officially dating a werewolf with the ability to transform at will.” Tony’s tone took on a teasing lilt. “He’s cute. He’s dangerous. He could eat your grandma and then pretend to be her.”

Bucky snorted in amusement but shook his head at Tony. “Please keep the _Little Red Riding Hood_ references to a minimum.”

“But tomorrow when I show off to everyone else I can go wild with the Little Red Riding Hood references, right?”

“Tony.” Exasperation and humor mingled in Bucky’s voice.

“This is a personal victory for me. No more surprise transformations that lead to broken coffee cups, ruined shoes, torn pants, or accidentally biting you with my fangs.”

Bucky gave a little head nod. “That wasn’t so bad. A little fang tease was fine. It was only bad when you broke the skin.”

“Oh really?” Tony purred. He focused on elongating his fangs just a tad. “Feel like a little teasing right now?”

“Not right now, but I’ll take a kiss.” Bucky opened up his arms, inviting Tony in.

Tony scrambled toward Bucky, launching himself into his boyfriend arms and hugging him. He shortened his fangs and kissed Bucky on the mouth. “Have I told you how much I like you recently? How you’re my super favorite? Absolutely adore you.”

Bucky chuckled and grabbed Tony’s hips. He kissed Tony. “Absolutely adore you too.”

“We should spar one of these days. Me in wolf form and you… well… I’m technically naked when I transform so maybe you could return the favor and afterwards we can take advantage of the lack of clothes?”

“With your claws? I’m not sparring you in that form without any armor on. I know you’d never try to claw me, but accidents happen.”

“Boo. You suck.” Tony kissed Bucky on the cheek and backed out of the embrace. “So victory dinner for my control of my transformation. What do you want?”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek.

“We can order from two places if that helps,” Tony offered.

“What if I said I did want to spar with you, but not in wolf form?” Bucky asked.

“I’d say Steve would probably be a better opponent, but sure. I can spar with you.”

“What if I said, I wanted to spar with you, and switch between being myself and being the Soldier?”


	25. Chapter 25

“You want to tag team me with the Soldier?” Tony asked, not quite sure if he was understanding, and not really caring if he was, because he was little too busy freaking out about the fact that it sounded like Bucky was about to willingly let the Soldier take control.

“Not exactly how I’d phrase it, but yes.”

_Don’t point out that this is a huge step and change in character! If he doesn’t realize it then he’s going to freak out when I point it out to him!_ “Any particular reason why?” _Shit! Was that too close to the truth? Will he noticed now and run away? What should I do if he does? What should—_

Bucky grabbed Tony’s shoulder. “Whoa, Tony. Breath. Breath. You’re blasting me with panic, and you’re going to pass out if you don’t breath. Breath!”

Tony gasped for breath. “Sorry, I just went into my headspace.” Tony cleared his throat. “As we were saying…”

Bucky shook his head and let go of Tony. “No. You’re scared. I’m not going to push you into something that terrifies you.”

Bucky started to back away.

Tony grabbed Bucky’s wrist and pulled Bucky back toward him. “No, no. It’s fine, Bucky. I’m not scared about sparring with the Soldier. Well, okay, maybe a little bit. But it’s more like ‘Oh god, I hope he doesn’t break my nose’ scared than ‘Oh god! I’m going to die! He’s going to murder me with just his pinkie!’ scared.”

“You were pretty terrified a second ago.”

“Because this is just so different, and I really want this to work out.” Tony tugged Bucky toward the couch, and had Bucky sit down with him. “I’m just thrown by the sudden change.”

“It’s not that sudden,” Bucky grumbled. “I’ve just been thinking about the Soldier more, and… I don’t know. He sounds more human the way you describe him. I’ve even told my therapist about some of the stuff you’ve said about him, and even my therapist thinks the guy sounds far more human than we’ve been giving the Soldier credit.” Bucky winced. “My therapist also said it could be an act to lull us into a false sense of security.”

“Well, if your therapist is SHIELD issued then I am not one bit surprised by that remark,” Tony said bitterly. He knew the Soldier’s actions could all be a mask for a serial killer or monster underneath, but after everything Tony had been through, he wanted to believe that the Soldier was just as much a pawn to HYDRA as Bucky had been.

Bucky looked down at his lap. His hands were clenching his knees tightly. “I just keep thinking how much easier it would be if the Soldier really is as harmless as you say he is.”

“I wouldn’t say harmless.”

“But you know what I mean. He likes you, or at the very least he cherishes the bond between you two, and so as long as that bond is there then I don’t have to worry about him coming out to murder people or run back to HYDRA.”

“You never said anything about HYDRA before.” Tony touched Bucky’s hand.

Bucky flipped his hand over so he could hold Tony’s. “Because I really didn’t want to think about that. As terrible as the Soldier going on a rampage is, at least I might be able to wake up and take control again, and maybe find some way to right whatever he has done wrong. If he were to go back to HYDRA…” Bucky’s grip on Tony’s hand became crushingly tight. “…it took me seventy years to fight through HYDRA’s programming. I don’t want to lose another seventy years. That’s assuming I’d be able to break through the programming again.”

“Bucky.” Tony wrapped his arms around Bucky and hugged him.

Bucky hugged him back, releasing a long and tense breath. “I want to believe that everything is going to be okay if I let the Soldier out, but the only way that is going to happen is by doing so in small increments.” Bucky made an unhappy noise. “He’s already done that a bit himself, but this time I want it on my terms.”

Tony pulled back from the hug but kept his hands on Bucky’s shoulder, gently massaging them. “All right. So you want to do that by sparring me. Odd choice, but I’ll go with it.”

“It’s because if there is ever going to be a time when I _have to_ let him take control it’s going to be in a fight. I’m always a little disoriented after he takes over. I want to see if with practice I can lessen that disorientation. Plus, it’s one of the few things we have in common: fighting.”

Tony nodded. “Okay. So should I set up a timer to go off every five minutes, and whenever we hit five minutes you two have to switch.”

Bucky nodded. “That’s what I was planning.”

“That will be easy enough.” Tony dropped his hands into his lap. “We should tell Steve and the others though.” Tony cringed. “After this werewolf fiasco, they’d chop off my balls if I ran off on my own ago, even if technically I’m bringing you along for the ride.”

“I won’t allow anyone to chop off your balls.”

“Thank you.”

“Except me.”

“Traitor.”

* * *

“And so in conclusion, Bucky and I would appreciate your moral support,” Tony finished his speech to his teammates. They were all seated around the living room, and while none of them looked particularly happy about Tony’s announcement, none of them were furious either.

Sam raised his hand. “As someone who has almost been killed by the Soldier, I’m a little hesitant to willingly let him out.”

“He hasn’t caused any trouble since he started reappearing,” Clint said off-handedly. “I’m not against it, but I would like to see more safety precautions taken.”

Natasha nodded in agreement.

“My experience with the Soldier is limited,” Wanda began, “but what I have gleaned from his mind tells me that he has a genuine interested in Tony. Vision?” Wanda asked.

“I haven’t noticed anything to the contrary,” Vision answered.

Rhodey and Steve were both silent. They’d taken to crossing their arms and looking pensive as they mulled over Tony’s speech.

“Is this what you really want, Bucky?” Steve asked.

“I’m a little more than fifty-percent sure, but it’s either this or I spend the rest of my life scared that one day I’m going to slip away and the next time I emerge it’s going to be to everyone I know and love dead or worse.”

“Does it have to be Tony?” Rhodey grimaced at Tony. “Sorry, man, I love you, but against the Winter Soldier, you’d need to have your armor on standby if the Soldier suddenly loses it.”

Tony grinned. “Except I don’t. That was the original reason why I planned this meeting.” Tony puffed up his chest. “I can go full werewolf now whenever I want to. If the Soldier comes after me, I’ll transform and…” Tony stopped. “I was going to say something really violent, but then I remembered who he shares a body with.”

“Thanks, doll,” Bucky said sarcastically.

Tony blew Bucky a kiss. “Any time, babe.”

“I want to see this transformation.” Clint sat up straighter.

“Maybe not in the living room?” Rhodey suggested.

“I’m not going to tear up the furniture.” Tony rolled his eyes. He began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Stop, stop!” Wanda turned her face I away. “I do not want to see you naked.”

“Wait? Wasn’t Steve dressed when he was a werewolf?” Sam asked. “Why do you need to be naked?”

“Because my dress shirt and pants lack the stretch Steve’s uniform has.”

“Don’t you have some sweats?” Clint asked. “You know, like the ones for Banner?”

Tony huffed and stopped fiddling with his buttons. “I hate those pants. They hide my figure.”

“I think your vanity can take a hit for everyone’s eyes,” Steve said.

“Like you can talk,” Tony said. “The only person here who has seen me naked more than Bucky is you.”

Bucky scrunched his face. “Is that true?”

“Don’t ask,” Steve and Tony said in unison.

“Besides,” Tony continued. “All of you have already seen me naked at least once.”

No one argued, but everyone looked around the room searching for the one person who hadn’t seen Tony naked.

Tony smirked.

“Are we sure Tony isn’t a nudist if we can all honestly say that each of us have seen him naked?” Clint asked.

“Wait.” Sam turned to Rhodey. “You roomed with him in college. How has Steve seen him naked more than you?”

Steve flushed. “Are we really going to focus on that detail?”

“I’m curious about that too,” Bucky said.

“Someone sounds jealous,” Natasha muttered.

“Steve’s my best friend, and I want to know why my best friend never told me how often he’s seen Tony’s junk.”

“Hello?” Clint waved his arms. “What about my question?”

“I still don’t want to see him naked,” Wanda grumbled to Vision.

“Everyone be quiet.” Tony raised his voice to be heard over his friends. “We are getting off topic here. We were talking about letting the Soldier out to spar with me a little. Now, as I just said, I can go werewolf, and I am ready and willing to give a demonstration, but let’s focus on the real important issue here.”

“I don’t know, Tony,” Steve said. He looked between Bucky and Tony. “I want to support this, but after so much time worrying about the Winter Soldier resurfacing, I’m hesitant to just say yes. Personally, even if you can transform into a werewolf, I want someone else nearby when you two spar.”

“’When?’” Tony repeated.

Steve huffed. “You two are stubborn and so defiant, I would be an idiot if I didn’t think you two would find some way to pull this off without involving us, which is why I rather work with you two than against you.”

Bucky made a face. “Thanks, but I’m not so sure if having someone else around is a good idea. The Soldier is fond of Tony, but everyone else…” Bucky trailed off.

“One of us could hover outside the gym,” Sam suggested. “We’ll let FRIDAY monitor everything, and if something happens, she throws open the doors and whoever is on duty rushes in while FRIDAY gets the others.”

Tony made a confused face. “Didn’t you just say you weren’t thrilled about letting the Soldier out?”

“Yeah, but I’m not an idiot either.”

“Is this—are all of you for real? Do you guys really have so little faith in me that you’d think even after you guys tell me you’re against something, I’ll run off and do it anyway?”

“Yes,” Everyone answered, including Bucky.

Tony whacked Bucky on the arm. “Et tu, Bucky?”

“Hey, I’m in the same boat as you, and my list of rebellious moments is a lot shorter than yours.”

“Well, you just haven’t been around long enough.” Tony made an ugly face at Bucky.

Bucky stuck out his tongue.

“We really should create a drinking game for you two. Every time they act like children we take a shot,” Rhodey said.

“We’d all be dead by the end of the day,” Wanda quipped.

“So…” Clint started. “If we’ve settled on letting Bucky and Tony do their sparring thing as long as someone is nearby, can we please see Tony’s transformation?”

Wanda turned away and covered her eyes. “As long as I don’t have to.”

“Any disagreements to the plan?” Steve asked.

There was a pause of silence.

Clint cheered. “All right! Let’s see werewolf Tony.”

“Technically, you’ve already seen him,” Natasha pointed out.

Clint shushed her. “We haven’t seen him in control.”

“That’s not going to change how he looks.”

“You’re so cruel to me, Nat.”

Natasha smiled. “I’m cruel because I love you, and it will make you stronger.”

Bucky hummed in thought. “Maybe I should start doing that?” He teased.

Tony smiled. “Do it, and I’ll turn all of your tactical gear into chew toys.” Tony lengthened his fangs and snapped his teeth at Bucky.

* * *

Tony stretched his arms and rolled his neck to work the muscles there. He enjoyed the view of Bucky doing his own stretches just a few feet away and used it as a distraction from what they were about to do. His nerves were jittery and his stomach was in knots. He wanted this to work for Bucky’s sake and the Soldier’s too.

Bucky stopped in the middle of his stretch and glanced over at Tony.

Tony lifted his leg and stretched his quadriceps. “Sorry. Are my emotions too loud? I’ll try to tone them down.” Tony let his leg drop and bounced on the balls of his feet. “Just need to get rid of some excess energy.”

Bucky snorted in amusement. There was a slight twinkle in his eyes as he approached Tony.

He wrapped his hand around the back of Tony’s head and kissed Tony.

Tony expected the kiss to be short and reassuring, but was surprised when Bucky pushed against him in restrained desperation. The kiss was hard and Tony had to breath through his nose.

Bucky hand slightly trembled at the back of Tony’s head.

Tony reached out for Bucky’s other hand and squeezed it.

They broke apart.

Tony scanned Bucky’s face and pecked him on the mouth when he saw the fear in Bucky’s eyes that Bucky was trying so hard to hide.

“It’s going to be fine,” Tony promised. “Even if this has all been some duplicitous act on his part, I’m not going to let him hurt me or anyone else here, and I will not let him run away.”

Bucky nodded and released a shuddery breath. “Probably should just get it over with and let him out now.”

“Whenever you’re ready,” Tony said.

Bucky took another breath and released it. He closed his eyes.

Seconds passed and Bucky didn’t open his eyes.

Tony’s heartbeat sped up in anticipation.

Just when Tony thought that maybe Bucky had changed his mind, his eyes opened and the Soldier was in Bucky’s place.

The Soldier squeezed Tony’s hand. He looked around the room. His frown and furrowed brow gave away his confusion.

“Hi.” Tony returned the tight grip the Soldier had on his hand.

The Soldier focused on Tony.

Tony smiled. “So…Bucky decided to take a nap for a while.”

The Soldier’s expression hardened and became suspicious.

“Remember what I said about building trust?” Tony asked, ignoring the Soldier’s wariness. “This is the first step. Bucky thought that what we—the three of us—could do is spar.”

The Soldier stiffened. He shook his head. “No. I won’t hurt you.”

“A few bruises are fine.” Tony waved off the Soldier’s concern.

The Soldier shook his head again and glowered at Tony. “I won’t hurt you.”

“It’s just a friendly spar. We’re not going to break each other’s bones or something.”

The Soldier pursed his lips and cocked his head.

Realization dawned on Tony.

HYDRA’s definition of “spar” was problem a lot different than Tony’s or any of the Avengers’.

Tony quickly gesticulated in a nugatory action. “No, no, no, no! Sparring is _very_ different here. No breaking bones. No weapons used. Just fists.”

The Soldier glanced down at his metal arm.

Tony held up a finger. “OR! How about some basic wrestling? No choke holds or anything like that. You just try to pin me to the floor and I’ll try to do the same to you.”

“No broken bones?” The Soldier asked.

“No broken anything.”

The Soldier still seemed hesitant. “How will the third person wrestle?”

“Ah, see that’s where this gets interesting.” Tony explained to the Soldier what Bucky and him had discussed. “FRIDAY will make a beeping sound every five minutes and you switch. This way not only will it help you two switch in battle, but it’s also a good trust exercise. Both of you are going to have to trust that the other one is going to switch out as promised.”

The Soldier was quiet as he mulled over the proposition.

After what felt like an eternity to Tony, the Soldier nodded.

Tony had to stop himself from pumping his fist in the air victoriously. “Awesome. I’m going to ask that you switch back now, so I can tell Bucky about the whole wrestling only thing. So the next time you see me, you’ll probably be writhing underneath me.” Tony winked.

“Unlikely.”

Before Tony could protest, Bucky was standing in front of Tony, blinking and swaying a little. He shook his head. “What did he say?”

Tony repeated the conversation he’d had with the Soldier to Bucky.

“By the way, your counterpart is an asshole. He thinks I can’t pin you two.”

“You going to use any of those werewolf powers?” Bucky asked.

“If I don’t have to, then no.”

Bucky shrugged and headed toward the mat. “Then I’d say you’re going to get pinned.”

“I am not going to get pinned!” Tony shouted and stomped after Bucky.

Bucky hummed exaggeratedly. “I doubt it.”

“Oh, it is on! I am going to pin both of you!”

Bucky pivoted, and before Tony could stop him, Bucky scooped Tony up in his arms and threw him down on the mat.

“Ow!” Tony scowled and kicked Bucky’s leg out from under him.

Bucky joined Tony on the floor, but the asshole was able to roll into his fall and push himself onto his knees. Bucky beamed at Tony. “You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?”

Tony sat up and lunged for Bucky. “Just wait until I get my thighs around your head. I’ve been practicing, and even if I can’t do the thighs of death thing as well as Natasha, I can at least distract you with what is in between them.”

Tony grunted as he hooked one leg around Bucky, only for Bucky to dislodge it and pin Tony.

“Has to be ten seconds for it to count!” Tony cried and used his knee to shove Bucky off him.

Bucky huffed and grinned. “Fine by me.” He threw himself at Tony.

Tony and Bucky rolled around on the floor. Tony could tell Bucky wasn’t even really trying, and if Tony were being honest, neither was he. He was using as much strength as possible, but he wasn’t strategizing or using any special techniques. He was just rolling on the ground with his boyfriend.

It didn’t take long for him to burst with laughter as Bucky pinned him then tried to kiss him. Tony shoved Bucky’s lips away and slid down the mat until he could roll out from under Bucky.

Bucky grabbed his ankle and dragged Tony back, and Tony twisted himself so he could fling himself on top of Bucky.

It was a mess of movements, and they ended up in pile of laughter and tangled limbs.

FRIDAY beeped.

Bucky’s shoulders rammed together in surprise.

Hesitance shone on Bucky’s face and made Tony’s heartache.

Tony opened his mouth to speak encouragingly, but before he could utter a sound, the Soldier was back and staring at him.

For three seconds that was all the two did.

Then as fast as lightning the Soldier freed himself, rolled Tony onto his stomach, and pinned his hands behind his back.

Tony struggled in the hold. “Wow. You’re really not letting up.” Tony grunted as the Soldier increased the strength of his grip.

Tony wiggled, but still couldn’t get free. “You know, this would be a lot more fun if you gave me a chance to at least pin you.”

“You had a chance.”

“When?”

“When I surfaced.”

“That was three seconds.”

“I could kill someone in three seconds.”

Tony stopped struggling and looked over his shoulder at the Soldier. “You’re very morbid. Has anyone told you that?” Tony squirmed. “Anyway, it’s been ten seconds. You win. New round.”

The Soldier didn’t let up.

“Okay, I know Bucky and I made the ten second rule, but I would appreciate if you would follow it.”

The Soldier didn’t release his grip right away, and when he did it was slow and with uncertainty.

Tony sighed and rubbed his wrists. “Give me a chance to get circulation back into my wrists.”

The Soldier didn’t move, which Tony took as a good sign.

Tony sighed as he got the feeling back in his wrists. “All right. My turn to pin you.” Tony lunged.

The Soldier caught Tony and pinned him on his back.

The Soldier straddled Tony and held his wrists above his head.

Tony bucked and wiggled, but once again he couldn’t get out of the Soldier’s hold.

“I was joking about giving me a chance before, but now I’m serious.” Tony gritted his teeth and worked on getting one leg loose.

The Soldier raised an inquiring eyebrow.

“Victory!” Tony shouted as he threw all of his weight in one direction. It was just enough to destabilize the Soldier, and from there Tony broke free and put distance between himself and the Soldier.

Tony made a mental note; Bucky played, but the Soldier didn’t. If he was going to have any chance of winning against the Soldier he had to be strategic.

So Tony did just that. No more throwing himself at the Soldier and hoping for the best.

The Soldier was skilled though and Tony never even got close to pinning the Soldier.

FRIDAY beeped.

The Soldier disappeared, and Bucky swayed.

Joy filled Tony at the sight of Bucky, and he flung himself at Bucky. “Bucky!”

Bucky went down with a grunt of surprise.

Tony chuckled and kissed Bucky hard on the mouth as he pinned Bucky to the floor. He grinned as Bucky responded to him.

Tony pulled away. “Ten seconds.”

Bucky blinked. He looked down at their positions. He gaped for half a second. “No, this doesn’t count. You seduced me.”

Tony kissed Bucky’s forehead. “All is fair in love and war.” Tony pushed himself off of Bucky, and turned his back on his boyfriend. He made a show of shaking his ass at Bucky. “Come and get it if you’re ready.”

Bucky smirked. “I’m always ready.”

Everything devolved into playful wrestling from there.

When the Soldier reappeared again, Tony was little sad to end the wrestling match he was having with Bucky, but he let the feeling slip away. He was intrigued by the Soldier. The Soldier could probably charge at Tony and pin him down, but he preferred to wait and turn Tony’s attack against him. Tony didn’t know if the wrestling style was the Soldier’s way of giving Tony a chance or if he’d do the same for every opponent, but either way Tony was interested.

The time Tony spent with Bucky and Soldier went by fast. He was breathless and his clothes were soaked through with sweat when the Soldier released Tony and walked off the mat and away from Tony.

Tony really wanted to push himself up off the floor, but he couldn’t find the strength. His limbs were jelly.

The Soldier looked down at him and nodded. “Enough for today.”

“I didn’t pin you once.” Tony moaned in defeat.

The corner of the Soldier’s mouth crooked up. “Told you.”

Bucky was standing there.

Tony groaned. “He’s an asshole.” Tony waved his arms and whimpered. “Help me up. I’m frail and weak.”

“Not so sure about those adjectives, but you look exhausted. Here.” Bucky grabbed both of Tony’s hands and helped Tony rise to his feet.

Tony didn’t last a second standing up straight. He leaned into Bucky and hugged him. “I’m sore and tired.”

“Are you trying to get me to carry you?”

“Don’t make me beg.”

Bucky sighed, fondness laced into the exasperated sound. He hooked an arm under Tony’s knees, and lifted Tony into his arms.

Tony cheered weakly and rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re lucky I like you so much. I wouldn’t exhaust myself this much for just anyone.”

Bucky kissed his forehead. “Thank you.”

Tony grunted. “I’m just exaggerating. No need to thank me.”

Bucky shook his head. “No, Tony. I really mean it. Thanks. That… that wasn’t so bad.” Bucky heaved a heavy breath. “Maybe this really could work.”

Tony tried to kiss Bucky on the mouth but could only muster enough strength to kiss his chin. “One of the benefits of being my boyfriend and guide. When it comes to literally wrestling with your demons, I’ll be there one hundred percent of the way.”

Bucky smiled down at Tony. “Thanks. And same to you, I hope you know.”

Tony’s stomach fluttered at Bucky’s brilliant smile.

Tony blinked and stared Bucky’s grin. It was just a normal grin, but for a moment there it had seemed like so much more. Like shimmering pearls, or the blinding white light of the sun. It was… it was.

Tony looked at Bucky again, but there was nothing different about him from what Tony could see.

Tony shook off the stray thought. He was tired. He was just imagining things.

No reason to get butterflies in his stomach like some lovesick teenager.


	26. Chapter 26

Tony threw a punch, but the Soldier caught it. It was only because Tony was a sentinel that he was able to realize the Soldier was flipping him as it happened, otherwise, Tony would be lying on the floor and blinking up at the ceiling with no idea how he’d gotten there.

Tony tried to unbalance the Soldier by kicking out his feet, but the Soldier read his moves and dodged, while also lunging at Tony.

“Dead,” the Soldier stated as he rested his hand right below Tony’s jugular.

Tony huffed. “I liked it better when we just wrestled.”

The Soldier grunted and pulled Tony to his feet. He used his foot to adjust Tony’s stance. He circled the genius like a shark.

“Your balance is off.” The Soldier grabbed Tony’s hips and redistributed the weight. He came around to Tony’s front and grabbed Tony’s arm, raising it up to show the forearm. “You don’t block with this enough. You always try to catch.”

“That’s what you do.”

“I have a metal arm.”

“I do too, when I am in the suit.”

FRIDAY beeped.

The Soldier was always quick to switch back when he heard the sound, and within a blink the Soldier was gone and Bucky was there.

Bucky touched Tony’s face and hissed in sympathetic pain. “That bruise is turning into a real shiner.”

“Yeah, and the Soldier does not like it. He didn’t say anything, but I think he wants to kick your ass.”

“I thought you were going to dodge,” Bucky defended himself.

“And I thought you wouldn’t aim for my face.”

Bucky huffed. “Weren’t you the one who said you wanted to take the sparring up a notch?”

Tony vaguely recalled saying that. He mostly remembered being bored with wrestling after having spent two weeks doing nothing but. He wanted to work on all the fancy footwork that other hand-to-hand fighters on the team did. Bucky had been all for the change in routine, but it had taken an extra two days to get the Soldier on board.

“I didn’t say to punch me in the face,” Tony answered.

“Picky, picky.” Bucky cupped Tony face and kissed the bruise. “Better?”

“Are you trying to lull me into a false sense of security and then flip me?”

“No, that’s what you like to do, just not so much the flipping part.”

The gym’s door opened and Clint poked his head in. “So I’m bored and I was wondering if I could watch all the fighting that has been going on in here recently?”

Bucky shook his head. “It’s too soon.”

“It’s been a few weeks,” Clint said. “Don’t you think we should start introducing him to the team in short spurts?”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek.

Tony stepped protectively in front of Bucky. “We’ll cross that bridge eventually. For now, I get the dignity of only Bucky and the Soldier watching me struggle to do all the crazy back flips and spin kicks you super soldiers and agents do.”

“I’m more intrigued to see how your claws clash with Bucky’s arm.”

Bucky and Tony both straightened a little at the comment. They looked at each other for assistance.

Clint’s brow furrowed. “Wait, have you two not practiced with claws yet? Tony, I know you’ve mastered transformation and that your preference is to fight with your armor, but one of the benefits of having become a creature of the night, or whatever, is that you now always have a weapon on you. You need to practice fighting with it.”

Tony eyed Bucky. “Yeah, but I don’t want to claw up my boyfriend.”

Clint raised an eyebrow. “That’s not what Rhodey said.”

“That’s a different kind of clawing up,” Tony responded.

“And at most it’s a gentle graze now. No more accidentally stabbing me with those things,” Bucky added.

“Sometimes I’m amazed how open you two are about your sex lives, and then I remember who I am talking to.” Clint shook his head and held up his hands in surrender. “You two get to make the decision, but I recommend that if you two have gone from wrestling and flirting like two horny teenagers to serious sparring then sometime soon you should at least throw in the claws.”

“We’ll think about it,” Tony said.

Clint nodded.

Clint stood there.

Tony sent Clint a funny look.

Clint groaned. “I’m bored. At least when you two were flirting, I could laugh at you two and your cheesy lines whenever I listened in.”

Tony pointed at the exit. “Out.”

Clint huffed like a petulant child and headed for the exit.

“Well, that probably killed most of our five minutes,” Bucky said. “Want to spend the last minute kissing?”

“Sure.” Tony leaned in for a kiss.

His lips brushed Bucky’s and in an instant, Tony felt the shift in posture that signaled the Soldier.

Tony broke the kiss, but he was so focused on ending it, he had no chance to see the Soldier grab him before he was pinned with his face to the wall.

The Soldier lightly punched between Tony’s shoulder blades. “Dead.”

“Yup, I liked you better when we were wrestling.”

* * *

“Don’t make me move,” Tony grumbled into the sofa cushion.

He’d spent most of the day in his lab bent over his Stark Pad and equipment as he’d played around with a few ideas that had been in his head recently. The pose had been horrible on his back, and then he’d joined Bucky and the Soldier for their sparring session.

His body was sore and he never wanted to move again.

“Come here.” Bucky maneuvered Tony on the couch so he could lay on it with Tony sprawled across him.

Tony let out a happy murmur as he sank against Bucky. Bucky had become his favorite pillow. He rested his head on Bucky’s chest and closed his eyes.

He moaned when Bucky massaged his neck. “Yes. The magic fingers.”

Bucky chuckled. “Better.”

“Give me a full back massage, and I will forgive you for abusing me.”

“I thought I was taking it easier on you today.”

“You were, but the Soldier has figured out how rough he can be with me without causing me any real pain, and he’s sticking to that same level of roughness. No more, no less. Well, maybe more. Every time I think I get a little bit better, he pulls some trick out of his ass.”

Tony stretched so he could kiss Bucky’s chin. “Unlike my wonderful, sweet boyfriend who will give me the best back massage ever.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bucky tucked Tony’s head under his chin. He kneaded Tony’s lower back, sending a wonderful mixture of pleasure up his spine with a dash of pain from his muscles that just could not deal with any movement no matter how good it was.

“I don’t think I told you recently that you’re my favorite,” Tony said.

“You’re my favorite too,” Bucky said.

Tony burrowed into Bucky. “Good.”

* * *

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Tony asked Bucky for the third time that morning.

Bucky tugged on a hoodie, despite the fact that they were staying in doors. He hugged himself. “Not really, but he hasn’t lashed out or anything. He really does seem like he doesn’t want to kill or harm anyone, but that’s only been with you. It’s about time that I start testing the waters with other people.”

Tony nodded in agreement. He was proud of Bucky. Bucky was friggin’ courageous. Tony wasn’t sure he could do all the things Bucky had done since the Soldier had started to resurface again. Tony had honestly thought it would take years for Bucky to get to this level of trust when it came to the Soldier.

Nonetheless… “Are you sure you want Steve to be the first person he really interacts with besides me? I like Steve, but the two of them… well, despite Steve’s support, I’m not sure Steve really cares for the Soldier, and I think the feeling is mutual.”

“I don’t think anyone really likes the Soldier,” Bucky said.

“I wouldn’t want to marry the guy, but I like him,” Tony said. “Yeah, he’s like that obnoxious older brother who likes to beat you up, except he doesn’t get that much joy out of it that a real older sibling would.” Tony scowled. “Except for that one time when he literally just kept lazily knocking me to the ground like I was some kitten jumping on his leg or something.”

Bucky grinned. “I remember that day. You’re fighting was atrocious that day.”

“Fuck you, Barnes.”

“Maybe later.” Bucky squared his shoulders. “Right now, I need to get this over with or I never will.”

Tony grabbed Bucky’s hand and held it. “Just remember, I’m going to be there, and the guy is pretty laid back around me. It should balance out any negative feelings toward Steve.”

Bucky kissed Tony on the cheek. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

The lift down to the communal floors was tense. Tony circled his thumb over Bucky’s hand in an attempt to soothe Bucky. Bucky sent smiles Tony’s way, but there was always a hint of nervousness to them.

When they arrived at the communal floor, Steve was alone and stretched across the couch. A sketchpad lay in his lap, and he lazily doodled across the page. He looked up and gave Bucky an encouraging smile. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You?” Bucky asked.

Steve let out a long and strained breath. “Same here.”

“Maybe we should all have a drink or two first?” Tony offered.

Bucky declined and took another deep lungful of air. “Like I said, it’s either now or never.” He closed his eyes and forced himself to relax.

A moment later his posture turned slightly stiff. The Soldier slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. When he spotted Steve, he stepped protectively in front of Tony. He glowered at Steve.

Steve’s face twitched as he fought down his emotions.

Tony swallowed hard. He knew this meeting was going to be tense, but he really hadn’t calculated out how much so. The Soldier still perceived Steve as a potential threat, and Steve was really meeting the Soldier—the man who had taken over his best friend’s life for seventy years—for the first time. They may have collided in combat before, and spoken to each other in passing, but this was their first real attempt a normal everyday interaction. Not because of an attack, and not because Tony had grown some fur. This was the real deal.

“So I hear you and Tony get along,” Steve said.

The Soldier just kept glowering.

Steve tried not to frown, but in the end he lost the battle. “I also hear you’ve been helping Tony with his hand to hand combat.” Steve smiled. “I’ve been trying for years, but every time we start to make progress Tony locks himself away for days on end in his lab.”

“That’s because your hand to hand combat lessons were so boring.” Tony made a show of huffing and acting indignant. He wrapped his arms around the Soldier’s metal one and hugged it. “I like his better.”

The Soldier cocked his head at Tony. “You complain everyday when we spar.”

Tony waved off the comment. “That’s just me being me.” Tony tugged the Soldier toward an open couch near Steve. “Now let’s sit down and watch the news together. You know, pretend to be mature adults.”

The Soldier frowned and glanced at Steve.

Tony playfully nudged the Soldier. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little social interaction.”

The Soldier frowned and straightened. He marched over to the empty couch and plopped himself on it. The action forced Tony to sit down next to him or let go of the Soldier.

Tony burrowed next to the Soldier, noting how the Soldier had seated himself so he was between Steve and Tony.

Tony had FRIDAY turn on the news.

For an hour Tony and the Soldier lounged on the couch as Steve drew in his sketchpad.

It wasn’t the warm and happy family vibe that many would have preferred, but it was nice and comfortable.

It was also a start.

* * *

The Soldier actually made a sound of surprise as Tony swiped at his head with his claws.

The Soldier grabbed Tony’s wrist.

Tony swung his leg around the Solder’s neck and got him in a headlock that sent the Soldier falling to the ground.

Tony gaped at the Soldier, who was staring up at Tony with surprised wide eyes.

Silence filled the gym.

“Woohoo!” Tony punched both fists into the air. “I finally kicked your ass, you freak of nature.”

The Soldier grunted and flipped them over so Tony was pinned.

Tony huffed. “That was short lived.”

* * *

“Sometimes I just want to punch you, Steve.” Tony’s nerves were rankled and he was just itching for a fight. He focused on Bucky’s hand in his to keep himself calm.

“I was just asking them not to talk during the movie,” Steve defended himself. “I had no idea it would lead to a fight.”

Bucky snorted. “My memory is like Swiss cheese, and even I know that’s a load of bull.”

“I did not want to start a fight. I just wanted them to stop talking. I asked very politely.”

“And when that didn’t work you stood up and got in their faces,” Tony complained. “Really, how did you think that wouldn’t start a fight?”

“Most sensible people don’t start fights over those kind of things,” Steve said.

Tony hit Steve with a deadpanned stare.

“So you wanted them to keep talking during the movie?” Steve asked, not yielding or admitting fault.

“Call the usher next time.”

Bucky shook his head. “Not going to happen. I love Steve, but Steve will always fight his battles on his own. Even if it means getting himself and his friends kicked out of the movie theater.”

“So then we agree never to bring Steve to the movies with us again?” Tony leaned into Bucky, letting their elbows and shoulders bump.

Bucky smiled and bumped Tony back.

“I don’t like it when you two team up against me,” Steve said.

“Suck it, Steve,” Tony said, grinning to himself.

“Very mature, Tony.”

Bucky stiffened, and his pace changed slightly.

Tony tensed, knowing without having to look that the Winter Soldier had emerged.

The Soldier had yet to make a public appearance. Nothing had been arranged beforehand, which made the situation all the more nerve-wracking. The Soldier so far had been very good about coming out only when planned. The last time he’d made an unexpected appearance had been when Tony was still learning to control his transformation.

“Someone’s following us,” the Soldier stated.

Steve jumped a little, finally noticing that his friend was gone and that the Soldier had taken his place.

“Did Bucky agree to this?” Steve asked.

The Soldier cast Steve an annoyed look.

“Don’t mind me,” Tony said as he stood on his tip toes to kiss the Soldier’s temple. He used his new angle to get a look at the people behind them. At first he didn’t see anyone or anything unusual. Just as he broke off his kiss though, Tony spotted a paparazzo taking photos of the three of them.

“What do the old folks call it, Steve? A shutterbug? Looks like we have one.” Tony used his hold on the Soldier to draw him closer.

“People still use ‘shutterbug,’ Tony.” Steve reached his arms over his head as if to stretch and tilted his head back so he could look behind them.

“Yeah, old people.”

“We should eliminate the threat,” the Soldier said.

Tony poked the Soldier’s cheek. “And see, that’s why you don’t get to run around as much and you’re counterpart has days when he’s really apprehensive about you, even if you’ve been good for a while now.”

“It’s just a regular paparazzo,” Steve said. “All of us are safe.”

The Soldier’s brow pinched.

Tony sighed. “Listen, you can hang out a little longer if you don’t believe us, but if you’re going to do that then let’s get you some ice cream. Might as well take advantage of the fact that you’re out to introduce you to the best ice cream ever.”

“Tony, I’m not sure…” Steve started.

“I’m not either, but Soldier here has some concerns. So let’s let him decide when he thinks we’re safe. That’s all you want to do, right?” Tony asked the Soldier.

The Soldier nodded.

Tony took a deep breath, to ease his churning stomach. Bucky and him hadn’t really discussed what Tony was supposed to do if the Soldier came out uninvited, except in situations where the Soldier tried to kill someone or run away. He hoped he was doing the right thing by letting the Soldier stick around for a while.

The Soldier squeezed Tony’s hand and brought it to his chest, placing their joined hands over the Soldier’s heart.

Tony didn’t need words to know that Soldier was offering him comfort.

Tony exhaled, and all of the tension seeped out of his body. Bucky probably wouldn’t be thrilled about this, but he had to trust that Bucky would listen to Tony’s side of the story and understand why Tony hadn’t pushed for the Soldier to make a quick exit.

And hopefully Bucky would not send disapproving looks his way like Steve was doing. “Knock it off, Steve,” Tony grumbled.

“I’m just worried about Bucky,” Steve said.

“Bucky is aware,” the Solder said.

Tony startled. “What do you mean?”

The Soldier frowned. “He’s just below the surface.”

Tony recalled the many times Bucky had referred to the Soldier being just “below the surface” before. “So he’s not in control, but at least has some idea of what is going on?”

The Soldier nodded. “He noticed the follower first, but he didn’t act. I did.”

Tony rolled this new information over in his mind. Bucky must have realized it was just a paparazzo following them, but the Soldier had not. “Did Bucky let you out?”

Again the Soldier frowned. “I shoved him aside, but he did not fight.” The Soldier paused. “He’s monitoring.”

Tony scowled. “Hey, Bucky, not sure how much this is getting through to you, but thanks for being an ass and deciding to test the Soldier without letting Steve and me know.”

The Soldier cocked his head. “He is…amused and remorseful.”

Steve eyed the Soldier warily, but didn’t comment.

It was probably a good thing he didn’t. Steve just had the bad habit of shoving his foot in his mouth whenever the Soldier was around.

“I bet he’s only remorseful because he knows that you’ll get ice cream while he won’t.” Tony raised his head haughtily. “Even if he were to come back now, I wouldn’t buy him ice cream.”

The Soldier smiled crookedly.

As planned, Tony took the Soldier to get ice cream. Their paparazzo followed them the whole time. Tony was surprised by just how much time the paparazzo stalked them. The person had to have good photo of Tony, Steve, and the Soldier by now. It seemed like such a waste of time and energy. Eventually the paparazzo left them alone though, and when the person did the Soldier switched places with Bucky.

Bucky blinked down at Tony. The corners of his mouth lifted shyly. “That went better than I thought.”

Tony slapped his arm. “I want a warning next time.”

“Are you okay?” Steve asked Bucky.

Bucky paused, mentally cataloguing his feelings and physical state.

Bucky’s smile grew stronger. “Yeah. A little jittery, but better than I’ve been in a while. He really didn’t hurt anyone or try to run off.”

“Well, he might have hurt that paparazzo if we hadn’t told him the pap wasn’t a threat,” Tony conceded.

“Still, that’s just… that’s just,” Bucky stopped trying to speak and shook his head in disbelief and wonderment. “That’s so much more than I ever hoped for. I can’t believe it. Thanks, Tony.”

“What?” Tony jerked. “What are you thanking me for? This has been all you. You’re the brave one. All I’ve been doing is let you and the Soldier beat me up.” Tony paused. “Actually, that is a lot. Give me a medal.”

Bucky chuckled and pulled Tony in for a hug. He ruffled Tony’s hair and kissed him on the head. “If you think for a moment I could have done any of this without your support then you are so full shit, I don’t know where to even begin.”

Tony couldn’t explain it, but something about Bucky’s hug just felt a little extra warm, a little more soft yet unbreakable, and the way he smiled just seemed to light up everything.

Tony’s heart gave lurch—a good one. One that just felt so right and perfect, and— _Oh!_

“I love you,” Tony said in surprise.

Bucky already brilliant grin became impossibly bright. “Yeah, I can feel it, and you know what? I love you too.”


	27. Epilogue

“Another day, another HYDRA base filled with a bunch of goons who don’t know how to aim.” Tony zoomed around a cluster of HYDRA agents who’d been shooting at him with an energy beam cannon. The group startled as Tony landed just a few feet behind them.

“May I suggest an auto-targetting system?” The rockets in his armor’s shoulder popped out and launched at the cannon.

Tony took off into the air just as the cannon exploded.

“All clear in the north quadrant,” Tony said into the comms.

“South taken care of,” Sam responded.

“West too,” Rhodey chipped in.

An amused huffed came from Natasha’s end of the comms. “East taken care of and infiltration has been a go for the last five minutes.”

“Widow, you and Soldier were supposed to report before infiltration,” Steve said.

“Sorry, got distracted.” Bucky’s voice was strained and there was a punching sound on his end followed by a gunshot.

“Sloppy,” Natasha commented.

“Everyone’s a critic,” Bucky responded.

Tony flew close to the base. The alarm system was blaring. “I suppose there is no point in me disabling security this time. Sounds like HYDRA already knows we’re here.”

“I thought that was just the party alarm,” Rhodey joked as he flew past Tony.

“Worst joke, ever,” Tony said.

“I agree with Tony,” Sam stated.

“Chatter,” Steve cut in.

Tony hummed as he had FRIDAY scan the building for any surprises. “Where is the dear Captain, anyway?”

“Second floor,” FRIDAY answered.

Tony mock gasped. “Steve, second floor already? Are you sure you didn’t infiltrate the place before Buck and Nat?”

“Second floor is not that high.”

“Plus, he _needs_ to punch every single person in the face. Even if Bucky and Nat have already hit them. He won’t feel like he’s done his duty unless he does so,” Sam said. “Infiltrating fourth floor.”

Glass shattered as Sam barreled into the building via window.

“Bomb,” Bucky said. “Third floor.” Bucky’s heartbeat and breathing quickened, alerting Tony to the fact that Bucky was running. “Jumping on the North.”

“I gotcha,” Tony zoomed where his scanners had picked up Bucky’s presence. His sensors flashed warnings about the bomb.

“Widow?” Steve asked.

Bucky jumped out of the window just as Natasha responded with a, “Covered.”

The explosion rang out, deafening Tony momentarily. Flames burst from the windows, threatening to scathe Bucky.

Tony flew into Bucky, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and flying away before the blast could reach Bucky.

Bucky wrapped his metal arm around Tony’s neck and huffed. “Talk about a trust exercise.” Bucky kissed Tony’s helmet. “Now put me down on the roof so I can get back to work.”

“How about we find out how stable the building’s structure is now that a quarter of the fourth floor just exploded before we going running back into the building of death and destruction?”

“Status report?” Steve asked.

“Alive,” Natasha reported.

“Just picking off a few guys who think they can run away,” Rhodey answered.

“I just literally kicked someone in the teeth,” Sam responded.

Bucky grinned. “Sounds like everything’s good. Feel free to follow me and make sure though if you want. I’ll be sure to use you as a shield, tin can.”

Tony still checked the bases structural integrity. “Building should hold up, but if another bomb like that goes off everyone take off. It can handle another blast but any more is pushing it.”

Everyone responded with a confirmation that they’d heard him.

“So about setting me down on the roof?” Bucky asked.

Tony sighed and flew toward the roof and set Bucky down.

Bucky jogged toward the roof exit and opened the door. He glanced down the stairwell to make sure no one was coming then turned to Tony. “You coming?”

Tony rose a few feet off the ground. “I’ll use the window. Meet you next floor down in a minute?”

Bucky smirked. “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has read and enjoyed this fic! If you're interested in hearing my personal thoughts on this fic, you can read my reflection on it [here](http://akira-of-the-twilight.tumblr.com/post/144912622288/more-so-now-that-guidance-needed-is-officially).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Refuse](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482630) by [mistrstank (dreamingdarkly)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamingdarkly/pseuds/mistrstank)




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